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(Editor & Publisher)   Newspaper has great idea to let families write obituaries for dead loved ones. What could possibly go wrong?   (mediainfo.com) divider line 133
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24992 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2007 at 10:01 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-12-19 10:39:37 PM
Few of us are skilled obit writers, yet we all misuse words.

Considering how much this guy wants to whine about poor usage, this line could have been constructed much better. Is he implying that one expects skilled obituary writers to misuse words? Or that people incorrectly expect that only skilled obituary writers misuse words?
 
2007-12-19 10:39:51 PM
Inigo_Montoya: Grandma's gone to live with the angles

She was a real square


Or a geometrician.

Oh, you klid!
 
2007-12-19 10:42:15 PM
ritalinantichrist:

/he also had it written into his unofficial will (meaning, he told us repeatedly and made us swear we would do it) that he wanted to arrive 15 minutes late for his wake/funeral.


aw.
 
2007-12-19 10:42:24 PM
Sombre Reptile: mansonozz:

Thanks for stealing my thunder. Guess I oughta learn to type faster.


Never ran into another person who did that! This is close enough.

We'd do it all up to the 9s like they wanted, and had one letter be wrong, transposed, etc., we'd end up rerunning it for 50% off the cost or even up to completely free. Naturally the families complaining wouldn't take MY denial for their request, and none of my bosses wanted to bother with it, so that's what we did. I just started saving myself (and my staffers) the trouble and giving them everything from the get-go. They didn't even care, which is just another reason they're a sinking ship these days. I'm long gone, so who cares.
 
2007-12-19 10:43:40 PM
Here, death notices are done by the family (usually with assistance from the local funeral home as they know the drill inside out and can help with the wording and such), but actual obituaries are written by the staff of the paper and focus more on the history of the person that died.
 
2007-12-19 10:44:31 PM
We shot him from a 10-pound Parrott named Louise. That feller in the bass boat we sunk never saw ol' Fred comin'.

/j/k....sorta
 
2007-12-19 10:46:08 PM
img.photobucket.com
Approves

or this NSFW classic;
Link (new window)
Link (new window)
 
2007-12-19 10:46:22 PM
My favorite.

\and yes, he really was a generous supporter to the south Florida casinos...
\\and a kickass guy too....
 
2007-12-19 10:46:26 PM
mansonozz:

Basically same deal here. I'm glad to be far away from that business now, and I love people's reactions when I say "I used to type obituaries." They act like I had to handle the corpses or something.
 
2007-12-19 10:49:50 PM
My wife would say in my obit: "He was a Farker"

/that is all
//LOL He had a helluva life insurance policy
///gotta go
////This
//slashies are teh best
 
2007-12-19 10:50:53 PM
ritalinantichrist:

/he also had it written into his unofficial will (meaning, he told us repeatedly and made us swear we would do it) that he wanted to arrive 15 minutes late for his wake/funeral.

Yeah, my dad was late to his funeral.

We had to drive from State X to State Y, with the urn containing the ashes...loaded up family in the the rental van at 0 dark thirty...set out...and OF COURSE we run into hellacious traffic going into New jersey. I'm driving like a maniac...on the shoulder at 60+ in a 15 passenger rental.
Once off the highway, got 'not quite lost'..but a wrong turn.

"kids...start changing!"
"dad...we're still in the car!"
"Too bad...no one is looking. get changed, now!"

Got to the church almost exactly 15 minutes late.
 
2007-12-19 10:56:47 PM
I wrote my dads obituary a couple weeks ago, so I'm not getting a kick out of these replies.

/ya rly
 
2007-12-19 10:57:30 PM
I wrote the obit for my Dad earlier this year. I thought it was pretty damn good, considering the weight of the situation. Then my stepmom and her family had to go changing things and generally turn it into a wet fart by making it sound as if the Pope had died. The (rather large) paper ran their "edited" version pretty much verbatim (including their less-than-masterful use of the English language).

Don't get me wrong - I love my Dad, but there's a point where lauding a dude and every detail of his life (not to mention basically taking credit for making him the person he was) makes me feel awkward in light of all the people who keep it simple and say something beautiful along the lines of "he lived a great life and will be missed." Ashes to ashes and all that...

/not bitter
//okay, just a little
 
2007-12-19 10:58:16 PM
As near as I can tell, Drew Curtis died yesterday and Lexington, KY would be pleased to know that he's jumped teh shark:
Teh 404 for Drew (new window)
 
2007-12-19 11:01:51 PM
Writer evidently unclear on the difference between obituaries (editorial content) and death notices (paid classified). Many papers have ceased to do the former, except for newsmakers . . . the death notices have always been controlled by the purchaser, although normally the funeral home handles the writing and purchase, so it has some quality control.

I worked at a metro daily once, however, that had an death notice in which the widow commented about her dead husband: "No one will miss him; he was a son of a biatch."

-- 30 --
 
2007-12-19 11:03:26 PM
Jumping the Fark: "grandma's gone to live with the angles"

Who is that woman next to the bald guy in the photo????? I'd like to see more......
 
2007-12-19 11:04:27 PM
My obituary will have the following words in it: 'syrup', 'rectum', 'eccentric', 'explosive', and 'metallic'.
 
2007-12-19 11:05:29 PM
Here is a good example of what this article is referring to. I read this in The San Francisco Chronicle earlier this ear. I couldn't effing believe it... it reads like ad copy.

Shameless promotion in obituary [pops]
 
2007-12-19 11:05:29 PM
naveline

New keyboard, please.

/win +1
 
2007-12-19 11:12:05 PM
nolavampire: Writer evidently unclear on the difference between obituaries (editorial content) and death notices (paid classified). Many papers have ceased to do the former, except for newsmakers . . . the death notices have always been controlled by the purchaser, although normally the funeral home handles the writing and purchase, so it has some quality control.

I worked at a metro daily once, however, that had an death notice in which the widow commented about her dead husband: "No one will miss him; he was a son of a biatch."

-- 30 --


That's a good point. The funeral home really didn't have anything to do with ours, though.

That quote is awesome.
 
2007-12-19 11:12:09 PM
When my wife's stepmother dies, I'll write an obiatchuary.
 
2007-12-19 11:13:21 PM
It's unfortunate that obits have to run in public papers. The last five words in mine would be "he farked like a beast"
 
2007-12-19 11:16:58 PM
Dellirium: BUSH, George W. (1949 - 2009 (out of office))
Former President of the United States of America
Born to a family of oil dealmaking warmongers originally from Connecticut and later relocated to Texas. Had close ties to many Saudi families, including the Bin Ladens and supporter of foreign dictators, notably Saddam Hussein, who was ostracized later for political reasons. Reduced many civil liberties during his tenure and removed whatever foreign good will the United States had remaining during his presidency. Many disappeared during his reign, reminding many of the era of the "disaparecidos" of South and Central America. Guantanamo Bay was considered an "accomplishment of true justice" by his definition, baffling the majority of democratic nations worldwide. Forever avoiding his shortcomings and disavowing any culpability for his administration's transgression, including a misguided war in Iraq which crippled the U.S. economy for a decade,nevertheless, he managed to reduce benefits to veterans, the poor, and the elderly in a stunning sweep of all social programs, leaving many bereft of any support in their final years. Unfortunately, the infrastructure of the U.S., lacking any funds to maintain roads, internal and border security, and many of the necessary programs required to live a normal life in the U.S. caused his popularity to decline rapidly in his last years in office. Many of his senior personnel were fired, quit, prosecuted for crimes or simply given medals for "jobs well done". This did not dissuade him from determined plan to reduce the country to ruin, based upon his "hearing commandments" from God to behave as he did. His successor spent 4 years attempting to restore the country to some semblance of normalcy. Ultimately, it took a generation to recover from the devastating decisions made by him and his administration and perpetuated upon the citizenry. He will not be missed. Donations may be made to any Food Bank of your choice.


you sound like you've been mis-REPRESENTATED?
 
2007-12-19 11:18:39 PM
i229.photobucket.com
I had to. Quick, meet dirty, I think you two will get along.
 
2007-12-19 11:24:31 PM
Delawheredad: That's better than the Wilmington News Journal in Wilmington, Delaware. They CENSOR obituaries. If someone writes an obit and the paper dislikes the language of it the News Journal will insert politically correct language. The most famous one? A husband wrote about his late wife that she was active in the "Pro-Life movement." The News Journal decided that it had to read "Anti-Abortion movement" Never mind what the deceased wanted. Never wanted what her husband and family wanted. The News Journal had to make an obituary fit its political agenda! Few cities are as poorly served by their newspapers as Wilmington is.


I admit to being stunned. My father's obit appeared in that paper; I know, I wrote it. The News Journal accepted it without hesitation and without any corrections. I would have been floored if they had tried to correct it. I am sorry about your negative expereince but happy to say that my expereince with that paper was positive one.
 
2007-12-19 11:24:53 PM
You know, I really don't care what they put in my obituary. You know why? Because I'll be farking dead. Write anything you damn well please in my obituary. Write that I masturbated at daycare centers and lit kittens on fire. Write that I was a neo Nazi, a member of the KKK and a southern Baptist. I won't be around to give a shiat.
 
2007-12-19 11:26:54 PM
I stole my future obit from PJ O'Rourke:

"Lets get the son-of-a-biatch into the ground before he causes us anymore problems."
 
2007-12-19 11:27:06 PM
naveline: Anyone from the homeland who has a "favorite cannon" is indeed a role model regardless of party affiliation.

Thanks to my uncle, it is now illegal in his town to shoot fireworks from a cannon.
 
2007-12-19 11:27:37 PM
FTA: niggling

is that a word? is that racist or something? i'm honestly not entirely sure.

either way, from contextually guessing the connotation, i can say that's what this whole article came out as to me. niggling.
 
2007-12-19 11:28:06 PM
libbyshome: Write your own before you die. Spelling mistakes and all. Keep it updated. Problem solved.

This is actually an excellent idea. When my father died the family sat around and wrote obits for everyone. Not only was it a good relief, it was eye opening to all of us. It really helped me to understand what others in my family thought important in their lives (and sometimes left me shaking my head).

It's a good way to take stock of your life.
 
2007-12-19 11:31:34 PM
Dellirium do those Feds still drive Chryslers? Let me know when they visit you. k thnx

Omnivorous I don't have time to write an obit, I've gotta call News 14 let the employees of h4x0r3d Computer Services in North Carolina know they've been snowed out
 
2007-12-19 11:31:59 PM
I understand that newspapers have to shell out precious space for obits, but the amounts the charge are outrageous. My grandfather died 11/20/07. It cost us $685 for his obituary. And that price was with the discounted rate the mortuary offered. It was $9 and change per 22 characters. My aunt about shiat a brick when she found out how much it was going to cost. You don't want to short-change your loved one but you also don't want to break the bank announcing their death.

I joked with my uncle that he could have save some money if he had typed "WWII" instead of World War 2.

/I miss my grandpa.
 
2007-12-19 11:38:02 PM
The expert criticizing others' writing wrote: "... charged at the not-inconsequential rate of $53 to $65 dollars per column inch."

Those amounts would be pronounced Fifty-three dollars dollars to sixty-five dollars dollars.

Maybe before running off at the keyboard, expert should look up the definition of the symbol $.
 
2007-12-19 11:38:30 PM
More than once I have thought back to the somber pronouncement in a local obit that grandma "has gone to live with the angles."

...and soon their paths will converge.

Around here, we refer to that as "doing the Angle Dance".

/new window
 
2007-12-19 11:38:36 PM
Dire: Jumping the Fark: "grandma's gone to live with the angles"

Who is that woman next to the bald guy in the photo????? I'd like to see more......


karen angle ...Kurt angle's wife....and since you asked.....

farm3.static.flickr.com
farm3.static.flickr.com
img145.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-19 11:45:25 PM
libbyshome: Write your own before you die. Spelling mistakes and all. Keep it updated. Problem solved.

"ZombiesezCafeeeeeennnn died Tuesday after a long and courageous battle with life. She was 38.

She liked brains and pie.

She will be decapitated, stabbed through the heart with a steak and finally creamated Saturday on blessed ground somewhere in Idaho. In lieu of flowers the family requests that you buy a remote farmhouse in the state of your choice because they're coming to get you, Barbara."

I've had this writted for years.
 
2007-12-19 11:45:29 PM
I've got dibs on Martstar's obit.
 
2007-12-19 11:54:09 PM
guriboy Here is a good example of what this article is referring to. I read this in The San Francisco Chronicle earlier this ear. I couldn't effing believe it... it reads like ad copy.

Shameless promotion in obituary [pops]


That is unbelievable. Who the hell wrote that--the mortician or her P.R. firm??

As they say, you can't take it with you, so why not promote the shiat out of it after you're gone!
 
2007-12-19 11:54:41 PM
Add me to the growing list of Farkers who have written obits for a local paper. My first journalism job - I graduated pretty quickly to "human interest" features.

/Ya rly
 
2007-12-19 11:56:52 PM
naveline
That reminds me of Hunter S Thompsons obit in out local newspaper here in Colorado. I've been unsuccesfully trying to find it on Google. Man it made me laugh. His wake was a huge party ending with his ashes being shot out of a cannon. I think it was Johnny Depp that lit it off. Quite an interesting guy.
 
2007-12-20 12:02:04 AM
Justin Farking Martin of Cincinnati, Ohio lost his battle with ethics on December 19, 2007. Mr. Martin's favorite past times included masturbating at daycare centers and lighting kittens on fire, which was especially troubling to his co-Farkers who openly worshiped Caturday (look it up). Mr. Martin was a proud neo-Nazi, a member of the KKK and a southern Baptist.

His ashes will be mixed with those of the cats he burned, molded into a poi-like substance and fed to those who take communion at his memorial.

In lieu of donations, please subscribe to TotalFark with the moniker of "Martstar."
 
2007-12-20 12:04:51 AM
What is Family Feud, Alex?
 
2007-12-20 12:04:56 AM
Jumping the Fark: karen angle ...Kurt angle's wife....and since you asked.....

img145.imageshack.us

I call bullshiat. That's Melissa Farking Rivers!!
 
2007-12-20 12:05:05 AM
Worlddan,

Glad that you had a positive experience. Unfortunately that is not the only New Journal Fark up. Despite having plenty of notice and having the obituary ready to go the New Journal printed the obituary of my best friend late! Fortunately everyone was called and turned out at in huge numbers for the funeral but there may have been people who missed the funeral because the crappy News Journal could not get their act together. He died at dawn on a Sunday. Had a pre-written obituary ON FILE with them. He was buried on a Wednesday. The crappy News Journal didn't run the obit until after the funeral. Great going guys! That paper sucks big time!
 
2007-12-20 12:05:26 AM
Here's an example of snarky British obits:

Link (new window)
 
2007-12-20 12:08:40 AM
That's was a really well written and informative article. I don't think anyone from my generation could write like that. You got the feeling he used to be a war correspondent or something, and now he works at the local paper. Anyway, not being snarky, seriously thought it was a good informative article.

Thanks Subby.
 
2007-12-20 12:09:51 AM
Charley's dead. Car for sale.
 
2007-12-20 12:13:43 AM
The mistakes cited causes me to believe that the obits were written by Farkers.
 
2007-12-20 12:17:55 AM
guriboy

It reads like ad copy because that's exactly what it is. Pay attention.
 
2007-12-20 12:18:19 AM
Jumping the Fark
karen angle ...Kurt angle's wife....and since you asked.....


images.jupiterimages.com
 
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