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(Reuters)   Duct tape found to cure warts. Also makes for a cheap bikini wax   (reuters.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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11306 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2002 at 12:39 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



134 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2002-10-14 05:48:54 PM  
This important message brought to you by the Duct Tape Council of America.
 
2002-10-14 07:27:53 PM  
Actually a friend of mine swears that the water of the Atlantic Ocean cured his warts. He said some small warts he had on his hands for several years vanished after daily swimming in the waters off Wildwood, NJ while working a summer job there.

I don't have any theories on why that worked for him but it does seem to go along with some people's belief in the healing power of the ocean.
 
2002-10-14 09:20:55 PM  
 
OBB
2002-10-14 11:18:08 PM  
Y'know, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
 
2002-10-15 12:43:26 AM  
bikini wax. no, no, no, no, no!!!

Doctors can freeze them off with chemicals, called cryotherapy, but the treatment can scare children and may not be as permanent.

hehehehe, the fact that it said it can scare children TOTALLY made my day!
 
2002-10-15 12:43:52 AM  
Last night I saw a naked cowgirl.
 
2002-10-15 12:43:59 AM  
I've never used duct tape on a duct. Have you?
 
2002-10-15 12:45:10 AM  
It's no good for ducts. It dries and comes off after a while.
 
Tia
2002-10-15 12:45:28 AM  
Last night I was a naked cowgirl.
 
2002-10-15 12:46:07 AM  
so maybe thats what this dumb biatch was trying to accomplish...

[image from members.cox.net too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 12:46:46 AM  
Car door fell off.
Duct tape!

Broke-up with my girlfriend.
Duct tape!

My dog died.
Duct tape!

(Our standard, drunken answer to just about every damn thing in college.)
 
2002-10-15 12:46:54 AM  
Yeay for duct tape! Once in middle school I had a black backpack that I covered completely in duct tape. Then put over a thousand safety pins in it to make it even better. I used it for about a year or two, then security decided it was a "potentially dangerous weapon". So much for my creativity.
 
2002-10-15 12:48:51 AM  
Hey I have a dress just like that..most. glamorous. dress. ever. I wore it to prom and didn't wear anything beneath. I had no problems, well except I had to readjust myself and check every like 5 seconds. meh, i looked good, dammit!
 
2002-10-15 12:49:12 AM  
Someone with genital warts is going to injure themselves horribly.
 
2002-10-15 12:49:34 AM  
In my studies the only thing duct tape sticks to as well as advertised is itself. Ever try to get a piece unstuck from itself? Can't do it. It fuses itself together. Good thing cars arent made out of it, otherwise fender benders would have more humorus outcomes.
 
2002-10-15 12:49:51 AM  
More proof that you only need two things in this world to fix anything. If it's not moving and it should: WD40. If it's moving and it's not supposed to: duct tape.

Pretty soon they'll find that applying duct tape or WD40 kills cancer and cures AIDS.
 
2002-10-15 12:50:38 AM  
Naked cowgirls. Hmmm. That could go either way.
 
2002-10-15 12:51:14 AM  
Handy man's secret weapon. Red Green rules.
 
2002-10-15 12:51:22 AM  
Anyone ever see that episode of Three's Company where Chrissy had a wart, and then the Ropers overheard her talking about how she wanted to get rid of it, but they thought she was pregnant and wanted to get an abortion? Funniest episode ever. Especially the part where Mrs. Roper tells Chrissy that her friend had one [a baby] that weighed 10 pounds, but Chrissy thought she was talking about a wart. Funny!
 
2002-10-15 12:51:25 AM  
I can see a naked cow right now.
 
Tia
2002-10-15 12:52:44 AM  
I can be a naked cow right now.
 
2002-10-15 12:53:12 AM  
OBB - Nice Red Green reference.

That show is one of the best things to come out of Canada, other than The Kids In The Hall.
 
Tia
2002-10-15 12:53:30 AM  
sorry. i'm bored.
 
2002-10-15 12:54:10 AM  
Eddie Cochran invented naked cows.
 
2002-10-15 12:54:16 AM  
Screw duct tape. Gaffers tape is where it's at (for those who know).
 
2002-10-15 12:54:33 AM  
I can see a wart-covered naked cow right now
 
2002-10-15 12:55:36 AM  
I was just about to mention that, B0rg9.
 
2002-10-15 12:56:45 AM  
Anybody who has ever worked stage, lights or props is in love with gaffer's tape.
 
2002-10-15 12:57:34 AM  
I am a wart-covered naked cow.
 
2002-10-15 12:57:45 AM  
but can gaffer's tape cure warts?
 
2002-10-15 12:57:45 AM  
Yes, it exsists. www.ducttape.com
 
2002-10-15 12:58:02 AM  
Damn, Barbie. Sounds like you could use a roll of Duck Tape (tm) brand duct tape.
 
2002-10-15 12:58:45 AM  
Google Fight:

Gaffers Tape: 3,510

Duct Tape: 232,000

Duct Tape Wins
 
2002-10-15 12:58:59 AM  
"Verruca vulgaris" wasn't she a character in Willy Wonka?
 
2002-10-15 12:59:03 AM  
Oh wait, that only works on ducks.
 
2002-10-15 12:59:06 AM  
Why do I have the feeling that A LOT of Farkers have experience in the drama/audio visual club??
 
2002-10-15 01:00:15 AM  
Reactron: As I kid I thought it was called duck tape
 
2002-10-15 01:00:39 AM  
I was on the stage once in a while. Not props or lighting, though. I was always riding shotgun.
 
2002-10-15 01:01:12 AM  
Gaffer. One who makes clumsy social errors ?
 
2002-10-15 01:01:41 AM  
Duct tape isn't what it was in the past. Degrades over time, doesn't stay together... Not even suggested for use on ventilation _ducts_ because it doesn't adhere well enough to make a good seal. In other words, it can't even do the job it was created for. Now the different types of military-grade tape, that's good stuff. Whether it's the 100 mph tape they use to keep things stuck on planes, or the kind that won't break down under extreme chemical conditions, now that tape is for real men (and women). Pick up a roll of that and tape a small child to a tree (muah) Perfect cure for warts and misbehavior! Though plastic wrap and a hair dryer works better...
 
2002-10-15 01:02:01 AM  
I have had experience on stage Pixieberry
 
2002-10-15 01:02:32 AM  
Duct Tape

Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped
over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl
at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an
erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked
up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Dave, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul,
"but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got
some tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did,
it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Dave. "So I get to her door," says Paul,
"and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face .
 
2002-10-15 01:02:39 AM  
I can't get my mind off of Tia's naked cow warts.
 
2002-10-15 01:03:27 AM  
Andonbray and Reactron: Grroooan!
 
2002-10-15 01:03:42 AM  
Green 100 mile an hour tape!
 
2002-10-15 01:03:56 AM  
BB, believe it or not, there really is a Duck Tape brand. But, like I noted, it only sticks to naked ducks. With warts.
 
2002-10-15 01:04:28 AM  
I'm a drama geek! Yay!
 
2002-10-15 01:06:35 AM  
Gaffer: Head electrician on set. The 'old man'.
 
2002-10-15 01:06:57 AM  
Reactron: Have you ducked-taped a naked duck with warts before?

*snickers*
 
2002-10-15 01:07:21 AM  
100 m/h tape is waaaaaay too expensive. Gaffer's is bad enough.
 
2002-10-15 01:09:21 AM  
I had a wart on my finger as a child. I found that picking at it until it bled, stop, wait a day, pick, stop, etc and then one morning I woke up and it was gone. Couldn't even find it laying around anywhere. Never came back. Don't remember how many days it took but just keep at it, you don't need no stinkin duct tape.
 
2002-10-15 01:09:50 AM  
It has a Light Side, and a Dark Side, and it binds the Universe together.
 
2002-10-15 01:10:18 AM  
Head electrician ? That's obscene.
 
2002-10-15 01:11:30 AM  
BB, no, I didn't have warts at the time.
 
2002-10-15 01:12:40 AM  
If you're in the Army it's free free free
 
2002-10-15 01:13:43 AM  
[image from home.hot.rr.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 01:14:00 AM  
The best thing about the gaffer's tape is it doesn't leave the sticky glue that duct tape does. Great for taping up wires for sound and lighting. Probably better for warts, but not as good for bikini waxing.
 
2002-10-15 01:15:03 AM  
lol...Reactron...ya got me
 
2002-10-15 01:15:28 AM  
Duct tape works as a seat belt for naked cows in a jiffy.
 
2002-10-15 01:16:15 AM  
Goo Gone is handy. Quite.
 
2002-10-15 01:18:23 AM  
I think most of the farkers after a boobie post need Goo Gone
 
2002-10-15 01:18:35 AM  
One of the best things about gaffer's tape is that you can peel it up and put it back on the roll and use it until it becomes too dirty to stick.

Did you know that soldiers are instructed to use duct tape to seal wounds in combat?
 
2002-10-15 01:19:32 AM  
Nothing like the boards. How many had a ghost in their theatre?
 
2002-10-15 01:20:56 AM  
BB, anytime a sticky product comes up, I'll be there for ya, babe. ;)
 
2002-10-15 01:21:13 AM  
No ghosts in my theater :)
 
2002-10-15 01:21:22 AM  
What if you took WD40 and sprayed it onto ducttape, and sandwiched it between a slice of buttered bread and a cat's back?

Either the ducttape slides off, the bread falls, and the cat walks away, OR:

The ducttape sticks the bread to the cat, causing the cat to hover spinning perpetually. Now, suppose you had WD40 that degraded over a period of time. You could have some sort of time-activated cat spinner. Conversely, if the adhesive degraded, you could set your cat to "spin", throw him in the washing machine with some detergent, and have fresh clothes for up to seven days!
 
2002-10-15 01:22:06 AM  
I'll hold you to that, Reactron
 
2002-10-15 01:22:36 AM  
http://www.magicamerican.com/ggg.pdf

The most ownage comic, ever.
 
2002-10-15 01:24:45 AM  
Gaffer tape was invented by Samuel Clemens.
 
2002-10-15 01:25:34 AM  
Carbonated Brains: You may be onto something...or ON something :P
 
2002-10-15 01:26:30 AM  
I don't like bugs. They give me the jibblies.
 
2002-10-15 01:27:30 AM  
Jibbly jibbly.
 
2002-10-15 01:29:17 AM  
The jibblies? Is that a new word for the OED?
 
2002-10-15 01:31:09 AM  
It's also a sure-fire cure for logorrhea!
 
2002-10-15 01:32:46 AM  
I've never had the jibblies. I'm glad. Those sound much worse than the willies.
 
2002-10-15 01:33:21 AM  
It's a new one in the Strong Bad Dictionary.
 
2002-10-15 01:33:48 AM  
BotoxBarbie
is that your art on the link in your bio?
 
2002-10-15 01:33:55 AM  
Umm...I've had the willies (in England no less)
 
2002-10-15 01:35:58 AM  
If your duct tape is colored like camouflage, you might be a redneck.
 
2002-10-15 01:36:03 AM  
Had a uncle, hear tell, what died o' the jibblies.
 
2002-10-15 01:36:19 AM  
I wish it was my art. The artist's name is Shag-I just happen to like his work. I also look somewhat like the gal in the painting, though I'm not as cartoonish
 
2002-10-15 01:36:29 AM  
great, i find this out now after the plantar warts on my foot have finally gone away after several months of liquid nitrogen treatment.
 
2002-10-15 01:36:31 AM  
This thread is starting to quack me up.

Ok, it's time for me to get some sheep...er...sleep, sleep, no I don't do anything to sheep.
 
2002-10-15 01:37:26 AM  
was/were
 
2002-10-15 01:40:10 AM  
aahhh...Strong Bad. He sounds like Cheech Marin


I'm tired
 
2002-10-15 01:42:00 AM  
Shag's artwork rocks. Remind's me of the golden age of Playboy, the Rat Pack, the three martini lunch, and the ubiquitous bevy of willing blonde beauties in the steno pool. Ah, the good old days...
 
2002-10-15 01:44:29 AM  
No kidding. I love that era too. He designed napkins and swizzle sticks, etc. for a bar in Vegas, but people kept stealing the stuff so they had to change the theme of the bar
 
2002-10-15 01:47:05 AM  
Aqueduct_Pocket Wrong. You need four things. (You forgot the coffee cup and the butter knife.)
 
2002-10-15 01:49:45 AM  
You know, BB, you shouldn't dis the toon femmes. I was hot for Wilma for many years.
 
2002-10-15 01:50:09 AM  
mmm... three martini lunch... i hope i make it into executive management someday.
 
2002-10-15 01:52:07 AM  
http://shagmart.com/pages/archive.html
 
2002-10-15 01:54:30 AM  
Three martini lunch and I'd be on the floor!
 
2002-10-15 01:55:08 AM  
DUCT TAPE AND A HAMMER WILL FIX ANYTHING IN COLLEGE YEARS =)

[image from lihf.org too old to be available][image from williamson-labs.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 01:56:47 AM  
BB, I think that was the general idea.
 
2002-10-15 02:00:18 AM  
Oh...
 
2002-10-15 02:01:42 AM  
Last lonely neuron just fired it's last spark. To sleep...
 
2002-10-15 02:03:00 AM  
goodnight Reactron :)
 
2002-10-15 02:04:16 AM  
Martel - Does that mean duct tape was invented by Mark Twain, or was it Stalin?
 
2002-10-15 02:18:15 AM  
mmm...gaffer's tape. so much more expensive than duct tape. but it's delightful.

never, ever buy the "duck" brand duct tape. it sucks ass.
 
2002-10-15 02:36:00 AM  
you know, you'd think so, BotoxBarbie... but while i admit that martinis seem to have a greater effect on me than other drinks (probably due to the fact that they're basically a double- or triple- shot of gin), i've had three or four on an evening before without really being that drunk.
 
2002-10-15 02:37:03 AM  
So, wheres the naked cowgirls?!
 
2002-10-15 02:55:12 AM  
To get rid of planters warts and any other kind of wart:
Before you go to bed
put some vitamin e on a cotton ball and bandaid it over the wart(if it's on your foot,put a sock over that) and go to sleep.
Do this every night for 1 to 2 weeks(and if you want to increase the effect,also add the juice from dandelion stems.Not kidding!)
No more warts ,pain-free!
has worked every time for me
 
2002-10-15 02:59:56 AM  
how many warts do you get? youve had so many u expirement?

just curious
 
2002-10-15 03:09:26 AM  
most of our sets are held together with gaffers tape, and the cotumes, and the curtains, and our shoes...
 
2002-10-15 03:45:33 AM  
My sister was in the army and got horribly drunk one night. Her husband and some of his 'friends' decided to play a trick on her and put 100 mile an hour tape across her brow. Needless to say, she didn't have eyebrows for a long long time.
 
2002-10-15 03:54:18 AM  
I have a ball of gaff tape in my trunk....

And its a gift from god. Duct tape smells like crap anyways.
 
2002-10-15 03:59:09 AM  
[image from arches.uga.edu too old to be available]

Nothing a little duck tape would'nt hurt! obvious
 
2002-10-15 04:14:39 AM  
Ah duct tape - is there nothing it can't do?
 
p91
2002-10-15 04:42:22 AM  
one time I went to wal-mart and was at the check out buying some duct tape, rope, a ski mask, and a filet knife. The lady got all freaked out. it was strange.
 
2002-10-15 05:13:45 AM  
Ah ,no.I've not had many and not for years.
When i was a kid both my friend and i caught planters warts from the local pool.She went to the doctor and had it burned off and cut out,yowch.
Well,after hearing what she went through I was determined to find another way,I was and still am a big chicken when it comes to pain.
So I did some reading and I discovered the previously mentioned cure after a search through my parents natural healing book.
 
2002-10-15 06:02:23 AM  
THank you MacGyver ... Duct tape, A piece of gum and a swiss army knife and we can make a bomb


A 'B' ... NO not a 'B' a Bomb
 
2002-10-15 06:19:13 AM  
Just a general rule around for fixing stuff around the house or anywhere else. If it moves and it's not supposed to, then use duct tape. If it supposed to move and doesn't then use WD-40. This has always worked for me. The duct tape/warts thing does not fit the rule very well though. The tape should make the warts stick around. Hmmmm, wonder if WD-40 would make them leave faster.
 
2002-10-15 07:54:16 AM  
I like to have a Martini
Two at the very most -
After three I'm under the table,
After four I'm under my host.

-Dorothy Parker
 
2002-10-15 08:21:44 AM  
Sudie thanks for the link.
 
2002-10-15 08:37:22 AM  
Does this also work for genital warts?
 
2002-10-15 09:03:06 AM  
If you cant Duct it, Fuct it!

(did someone say that already?)
 
2002-10-15 09:10:47 AM  
[image from international.3m.com too old to be available]

The best solution for plantars warts and those other ones that you don't want to use duct tape on.

3Horn
 
Ni!
2002-10-15 09:11:43 AM  
Ahh, duct tape. When I was a teenager, my boyfriend had an old beat-up truck that was always falling apart. One day his radiator fell right out onto the ground. Luckily, we were near my house, he pushed it into the yard, and duct-taped the thing right back on. Worked like a charm.
 
2002-10-15 10:05:10 AM  
Just so you guys know, I'm giving it the test right now. I've got a wart on identical spots on each hand. They've been taped since last night. I'll tell you how it goes.
 
2002-10-15 10:17:30 AM  
The US Army would absolutely grind to a halt if not for 100 mph tape. Never go to the field without it. And yes, in the absence of a field dressing, you can use it to bind wounds. Heck, the name of the game is improvisation.
 
2002-10-15 11:04:45 AM  
Two submissions posted in two days!! The Mods must be slipping.
 
2002-10-15 11:16:44 AM  
"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together."
 
2002-10-15 11:26:14 AM  
 
2002-10-15 11:53:22 AM  
So are companies now going to develop duct-tape cock rings for people with genital worts? Sounds sticky.
 
2002-10-15 11:56:09 AM  
As a semi-entertainment professional, I can tell you Gaffers tape is the real deal. Way better than duct tape, but more expensive. I used all over my house for fixing all sorts of things. Everything from taping hockey sticks to fixing a leak in my aquarium until I could drain it. I gave a roll to my brother when he hiked the Appalachian trail, he used it to cover up blisters. Great stuff.

I will report back about the affects of Gaffers tape on warts in 3 to 4 weeks.
 
2002-10-15 12:07:13 PM  
Duct tape / gaffer tape, it's all good.

[image from mediaservice.photoisland.com too old to be available]
 
Ni!
2002-10-15 12:12:30 PM  
What...what the HELL is that?
 
2002-10-15 02:39:46 PM  
[image from images.ucomics.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 04:18:46 PM  
If you're a real thinker, you can be more productive by using duct tape to remove genital warts and in the process you'll have a clean bikini wax.

Duct Tape has lots of contests- I knew a girl who entered into one: [image from duckproducts.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 05:32:00 PM  
10-15-02 12:12:30 PM Ni!
What...what the HELL is that?

That is my prothesis with the duct tape holding it together showing and an afro wig on a plastic chair in a storage room.

I mean, what else could it be?
 
2002-10-15 05:35:16 PM  
I know that last post needs several comas,,,,,,,just take them from here and distribute accordingly.
 
2002-10-15 06:23:53 PM  
[image from maxcita.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-15 07:27:35 PM  
lol good one Tanqueray
 
2002-10-15 07:28:42 PM  
On my high school wrestling team, we duct tape people tp themselves as an intiation. One person got duct taped naked to the vending machine, and i got duct taped to a bus.........Ahh the good times in High School
 
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