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(Daily Mail)   Firefighters attacked by samurai sword-swinging lunatic, who seconds later discovers he's brought the wrong weapon to a firehose fight   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 79
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11916 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Dec 2007 at 6:55 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-12-14 11:39:15 PM
img155.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-14 11:39:50 PM
Wanted for questioning:

i17.tinypic.com
 
2007-12-15 12:21:29 AM
Mr Woulfe said the firefighter who hosed down the man and one of the officers targeted by the attacker both went home after the incident suffering shock.

Shock? Really? Jesus.. how wimpy are these firefighters?
 
2007-12-15 01:01:16 AM
xtex: Mr Woulfe said the firefighter who hosed down the man and one of the officers targeted by the attacker both went home after the incident suffering shock for clean underwear.

I don't care how tough you are, it's hard to remain cool when a maniac with a sharp sword is coming at you.
 
2007-12-15 01:38:53 AM
Ronald Reagan has a stack of three-by-five cards in his lap. He skids up a new one: "What advice do you, as the youngest American fighting man ever to win both the Navy Cross and the Silver Star, have for any young Marines on their way to Gaudalcanal?"

Shaftoe doesn't have to think very long. The memories are still as fresh as last night's eleventh nightmare.

"Just kill the one with the sword first."

"Ah," Reagan says, raising his waxed and penciled eyebrows, and cocking his pompadour in Shaftoe's direction. "Smarrt--you target them because they're the officers, right?"

"No, farkhead!" Shaftoe yells. "You kill 'em because they've got farking swords! You ever had anyone running at you waving a farking sword
?" -- Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon
 
2007-12-15 05:30:56 AM
www.thecomedystore.com

Gonna have to try harder.
 
2007-12-15 06:12:37 AM
Suspect's father?

img206.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-15 06:58:23 AM
Crosshair: xtex: Mr Woulfe said the firefighter who hosed down the man and one of the officers targeted by the attacker both went home after the incident suffering shock for clean underwear.

I don't care how tough you are, it's hard to remain cool when a maniac with a sharp sword is coming at you.


Yeah, be honest with yourself. That would utterly fukc up your whole day.
 
2007-12-15 07:03:14 AM
"Gardai"?
 
2007-12-15 07:06:34 AM
The Gardai always gets it's man!!

/?
 
2007-12-15 07:07:40 AM
Every story like this is bad news for actual practicioners of Iaido, Battojutsu, etc.
 
2007-12-15 07:12:55 AM
Therion: Ronald Reagan has a stack of three-by-five cards in his lap. He skids up a new one: "What advice do you, as the youngest American fighting man ever to win both the Navy Cross and the Silver Star, have for any young Marines on their way to Gaudalcanal?"

Shaftoe doesn't have to think very long. The memories are still as fresh as last night's eleventh nightmare.

"Just kill the one with the sword first."

"Ah," Reagan says, raising his waxed and penciled eyebrows, and cocking his pompadour in Shaftoe's direction. "Smarrt--you target them because they're the officers, right?"

"No, farkhead!" Shaftoe yells. "You kill 'em because they've got farking swords! You ever had anyone running at you waving a farking sword?" -- Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon


Thanks Therion. I keep meaning to read that book. It has been sitting on a shelf for years, and I never got around to it. Thanks for reminding me.
 
2007-12-15 07:14:05 AM
www.hootpage.com
fight?
 
2007-12-15 07:15:16 AM
dervish16108: Every story like this is bad news for actual practicioners of Iaido, Battojutsu, etc.

No, not really, because formal sword training tends to focus on drills and formal bouts, neither of which necessitate carrying the blade around in public or picking fights. Basically similar to the impact some nut clocking a firefighter over a girl would have on middleweight wrestlers: pretty much 0.

That said, I'd like to note that there can only be one, and the guy should have listened harder to king phillip's metallurgist.
 
2007-12-15 07:15:59 AM
Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?
 
2007-12-15 07:16:32 AM
Up next... running with scissors in a burning theatre.
 
2007-12-15 07:17:50 AM
SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Would you like you come over to my house and see my sword collection? We could also watch Chris Crocker youtube videos.
 
2007-12-15 07:18:55 AM
yosluggo: SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Would you like you come over to my house and see my sword collection? We could also watch Chris Crocker youtube videos.


I'll bring the beer and the handguns.
 
2007-12-15 07:20:14 AM
Jim_Callahan: yosluggo: SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Would you like you come over to my house and see my sword collection? We could also watch Chris Crocker youtube videos.

I'll bring the beer and the handguns.


Cool I will bake cookies!!
 
2007-12-15 07:33:46 AM
I was nearly assaulted! I have to leave work now.
 
2007-12-15 08:14:23 AM
crazed samurai-sword wielding man

/pet peeve...
 
2007-12-15 08:17:47 AM
The hose is mightier than the sword
 
2007-12-15 08:24:42 AM
SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Well, think about it. They have chosen to own a deadly weapon with no useful purpose (as opposed to a knife, baseball bat, or chainsaw). But it is not just any deadly weapon. No. It is a deadly weapon that is 500 FARKING YEARS OBSOLETE!!!!!!
The archer at least has the excuse that his obsolete deadly weapon is not 100% obsolete. There are still hunting situations where the bow is strategically superior to the gun, and it is legal at some times and places a gun is not. Those are the facts, and they tell you all you need to know about sword owners.
 
2007-12-15 08:40:30 AM
"a deadly weapon with no useful purpose"

Well, some swords are antiques, and beautiful in their own right...but their owners don't typically wave them about in the street.

And, this story begs for some 7 Samurai firehose photoshopping :)
 
2007-12-15 08:46:25 AM
www.abc.net.au

POW! Right in the kisser!
 
2007-12-15 08:49:31 AM
Actually, a sword, although obsolete for battlefield combat, makes a great CQB weapon. Machetes are still used in MANY Countries, the Indians have their Ghirkas,and a short sword makes a great way of quietly dispatching someone.
 
2007-12-15 08:54:16 AM
SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

The really weird ones are the one who buy their swords from hobby shops or ren fairs. Have you ever seen these swords? Big, goofy pieces of shiat with dumbass engravings (skulls, dragons, runes, etc...).

Generally weilded together (as opposed to being forged), unbalanced and will probably snap in two at the first real use of the so-called "weapon". And there are dumbasses out there who actually pay their parents hard-earned money for them.

If you own a sword such as this... big time fail.

Sadder thing is, we all probably know at least one asshat who owns a sword like this, displays it proudly while we secretly laugh in side.

pagebydave.net

/doesn't own a sword.
//has a really nice Swiss army knife I bought in Lucern when I was 16. Take with it me on every backpacking trip I take.
 
2007-12-15 08:54:31 AM
jso2897: SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Well, think about it. They have chosen to own a deadly weapon with no useful purpose (as opposed to a knife, baseball bat, or chainsaw). But it is not just any deadly weapon. No. It is a deadly weapon that is 500 FARKING YEARS OBSOLETE!!!!!!
The archer at least has the excuse that his obsolete deadly weapon is not 100% obsolete. There are still hunting situations where the bow is strategically superior to the gun, and it is legal at some times and places a gun is not. Those are the facts, and they tell you all you need to know about sword owners.


I keep a katana next to my bed that, thank the FSM, I've never needed to use for protection. But if I did need to, there's a zero percent chance of a missed swing going through the wall and hurting anyone else. Plus it's a beautiful sword.

/but yeah, I'm kinda wierd.
//Irish firemen can't drink on duty, thus emotionally fragile
///want video
 
2007-12-15 08:57:55 AM
Look, I don't see myself as a tough guy by any stretch, but if this had happened to me, I think I would beat the truck back to the firehouse by at least 10-minutes just so I could be first to tell the story.

And, if you knew me, by the end of the day, the sword would be 6-inches longer and the hose an inch thicker.

/who else is with me on this?
 
2007-12-15 09:00:52 AM
I was a firefighter who had a crazed psycho come after his hose crew, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/No, really
//Had a crazy lady who was burning down her boyfriend's trailer come after us with a metal pipe.
///Turned the 2 1/2" hose on her. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
 
2007-12-15 09:00:56 AM
www.specialtyretail.net

I've always wondered how the hell this place stays in business.
 
2007-12-15 09:17:35 AM
"Re-leeeeeeve the nozzle man!"

/reasonably obscure
 
2007-12-15 09:20:48 AM
PunGent: "a deadly weapon with no useful purpose"

Well, some swords are antiques, and beautiful in their own right...


Weirdo.
 
2007-12-15 09:29:19 AM
dervish16108: Every story like this is bad news for actual practicioners of Iaido, Battojutsu, etc.

I was thinking the same damn thing. But the funny part about this is we have a section in the dojo forum devoted to this shiat.
 
2007-12-15 09:29:24 AM
And hey, some of us own swords because it's necessary for work.
 
2007-12-15 09:36:58 AM
jso2897: SemperLieSuckah: Is it just me, or are people who own swords almost universally weird...?

Well, think about it. They have chosen to own a deadly weapon with no useful purpose (as opposed to a knife, baseball bat, or chainsaw). But it is not just any deadly weapon. No. It is a deadly weapon that is 500 FARKING YEARS OBSOLETE!!!!!!
The archer at least has the excuse that his obsolete deadly weapon is not 100% obsolete. There are still hunting situations where the bow is strategically superior to the gun, and it is legal at some times and places a gun is not. Those are the facts, and they tell you all you need to know about sword owners.


That depends on what you term as useful. Am I going to be carrying a katana out and about on the street? No. Could I use one for self defense in my house? Yes. Is training in sword a good way to relieve stress and center one's self? Absosmurfinglutely. If anything, training in sword helps out in most, if not all aspects in life, provided you look a bit deeper than the purely physical aspect. The principles learned through Iaijutsu, kenjutsu, etc. are applicable to most situations. Especially if you train in a ryu that emphasizes the internal aspects as much, if not more than the external.
 
2007-12-15 09:38:58 AM
jso2897: Well, think about it. They have chosen to own a deadly weapon with no useful purpose (as opposed to a knife, baseball bat, or chainsaw). But it is not just any deadly weapon. No. It is a deadly weapon that is 500 FARKING YEARS OBSOLETE!!!!!!
The archer at least has the excuse that his obsolete deadly weapon is not 100% obsolete. There are still hunting situations where the bow is strategically superior to the gun, and it is legal at some times and places a gun is not. Those are the facts, and they tell you all you need to know about sword owners.

An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age...
 
2007-12-15 09:43:19 AM
Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?
 
2007-12-15 09:51:23 AM
Running a-puck: And hey, some of us own swords because it's necessary for work.

img107.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-15 09:52:51 AM
Lt. Col. Angus: Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?


I am a professional jouster and armored fighter. I work, well, whoever wants to hire a joust troop. I've done Ren faires, a girl scout jamboree, as entertainment at a bunch of summer camps, corporate parties, etc etc. I know a lot of people who own swords... and yep, we are all pretty weird.
 
2007-12-15 09:55:36 AM
I_Approve_Of_This_Message: I've always wondered how the hell this place stays in business.

Bless those sword stores. If not for them, I'd never have made it through Dead Rising. I'd be zombie chow.
 
2007-12-15 10:03:50 AM
I had to RTFA twice before I realized: Britain...home of the wackos and the wimps.

/hard to believe that they ruled the civilized world 300 years ago
 
2007-12-15 10:04:42 AM
www.pensitoreview.com
 
2007-12-15 10:04:51 AM
Running a-puck: Lt. Col. Angus: Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?

I am a professional jouster and armored fighter. I work, well, whoever wants to hire a joust troop. I've done Ren faires, a girl scout jamboree, as entertainment at a bunch of summer camps, corporate parties, etc etc. I know a lot of people who own swords... and yep, we are all pretty weird.


You train at the Academy of Knightly Arts?
 
2007-12-15 10:08:55 AM
I get hosed down
But I get up again
You're never going to
Keep me down
/danny boy, danny boooy
 
2007-12-15 10:09:24 AM
The firemen were traumatized by someone threatening them with a sword?

Good thing 9/11 didn't happen in Britain

Weaklings
 
2007-12-15 10:12:00 AM
I'm an Egyptian!: Running a-puck: Lt. Col. Angus: Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?

I am a professional jouster and armored fighter. I work, well, whoever wants to hire a joust troop. I've done Ren faires, a girl scout jamboree, as entertainment at a bunch of summer camps, corporate parties, etc etc. I know a lot of people who own swords... and yep, we are all pretty weird.

You train at the Academy of Knightly Arts?


Is that Jeremy's place? In any case the answer is no, but I think I know the guys you are talking about.
 
2007-12-15 10:16:02 AM
Running a-puck: Lt. Col. Angus: Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?

I am a professional jouster and armored fighter. I work, well, whoever wants to hire a joust troop. I've done Ren faires, a girl scout jamboree, as entertainment at a bunch of summer camps, corporate parties, etc etc. I know a lot of people who own swords... and yep, we are all pretty weird.


"The path to knighthood is paved with stregnth and noblity, not LSD and sideburns!"
 
2007-12-15 10:20:01 AM
Espertron: "The path to knighthood is paved with pitch forks and wheelbarrows"

FTFY
 
2007-12-15 10:35:11 AM
Running a-puck: I'm an Egyptian!: Running a-puck: Lt. Col. Angus: Running a-puck
Where TF do you work?

Medieval Nights?

I am a professional jouster and armored fighter. I work, well, whoever wants to hire a joust troop. I've done Ren faires, a girl scout jamboree, as entertainment at a bunch of summer camps, corporate parties, etc etc. I know a lot of people who own swords... and yep, we are all pretty weird.

You train at the Academy of Knightly Arts?

Is that Jeremy's place? In any case the answer is no, but I think I know the guys you are talking about.


Yeah, I believe that's them. I think they're out of Worcester.
 
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