And the dumbass webmaster decided to support only IE, it seems.

Warchild, that was sick. You are seriously farked up.

Bleh. Nothing pertinant to say. Just glad to say. WHOO HOOO I"M A TOTAL FARKER!!!... ahem...

/childlike excitement

My mother once (jokingly) said that if I didn't dry my hands, I would die.
I dried them every time until I was 6.

Cruel parenting.

My personal favorite was... If you keep making faces like that your face will stay like that Fooorrrr EEEvvveeeerrr..
Heh heh. Sandlot. Good movie.

I was told once, at about age 4, that if I ate the last bite of food on my plate, I'd never eat again.

To this day I still avoid eating that last bite. Superstition can be a strange thing.

I was once told that if I went to the cops with what I knew, that they'd find me and skin me alive. How childish is that?

when i was young i thought the democrats weren't out to destroy this country.

I thought that old movies were black and white because the world was black and white then.

EiZei, works fine with Mozilla.

I thought that all the states looked like the colors they were on a map from the air. It was really disappointing, the first time I flew and had a window seat as a kid!

I seriously thought that Indiana would look yellow, Kentucky would be green, Ohio would be pink, etc.!!!

I want to believe!

True story:

Mom had been married twice.

Had my sister my the first husband and as such my sister has a different last name.
12 years later, I was conceived by father ver2.0

I thought my sisters different last name was due to her being some sort of super secret agent(I watched a-lot of tv) and was her "code name" (good 'ol sis perpetuated this with gleeful abandon)

I didnt figure out that my sister was actually my half-sister and what the whole name thing was about until I was 11. (so I'm a little slow)

I used to believe my parents really did my dog away to a farm :(

When I was young and ignorant I believed in an invisible man in the sky who created the universe.

/religious flamewar

As a kid I was sure that if I fell off a cliff I could simply jump off anything that was falling with me, right before I hit the ground.

My mom told me that jam was made from kids that got hit by cars while crossing the street.

When I was a kid I thought FARK would never go 3 days without a post. Boy was I fooled!!!

When I was young I still believed that the ability to lick my eyebrows might attract females. ** sigh **

That's odd Sarlac. My mom used to make jam out of live children. Oh! Those days were so merry!

Tim655321 - Here is one that I submitted the other day that didn't get selected.
Sophie Marceau NSFW

I used to believe that Santa wouldn't bring me any presents if I ever told anybody about the game of "good touch-bad touch" my creepy uncle played with me.

Duster - That's sounds sort of like the good squeal, bad squeal game I played while working as an altar boy.

I used to think that I understood the English language fairly well. Apparently not, after reading the posts on this site.

I was told about a friend of my dad who told his son that if he looked at pictures of naked women, he would turn to stone.

Imagine the kid's fear when he found his dad's porno stash and popped a boner.

Go down to the neighborhood category, and click ice cream trucks... There's only 2 people there that hadn't been told that the music meant they were out of ice cream, and one of them was told the music meant it was leaving, so that's pretty much the same thing.

I didn't know there were that many sadistic parents in the world.

WOW, HONEY, YOU'RE MISSING A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET OUT HERE!

I'LL COME TO IO, AND THEN... POW! DAD, HOW COME OLD PHOTOGRAPHS ARE ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE? DIDN'T THEY HAVE COLOR FILM BACK THEN? SURE THEY DID. IN FACT, THOSE OLD PHOTOGRAPHS ARE IN COLOR. ITS JUST THE WORLD WAS BLACK AND WHITE THEN.
REALLY?
YAP. THE WORLD DIDN'T TURN COLOR UNTIL SOMETIME IN 1930s, AND IT WAS PRETTY GRAINY COLOR FOR A WHILE, TOO.
THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.
WELL, TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION.
BUT THEN WHY ARE OLD PAINTINGS IN COLOR?! IF THE WORLD WAS BLACK AND WHITE, WOULDN'T ARTIST HAVE PAINTED IN THAT WAY?
NOT NECESSARILY, A LOT OF GREAT ARTIST WERE INSANE.

BUT... BUT HOW COULD THEY HAVE PAINTED IN COLOR ANYWAY? WOULDN'T THEIR PAINTS HAVE BEEN SHADES OF GRAY BACK THEN?
OF COURSE, BUT THE TURNED COLORS LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE DID IN THE '30s.
SO WHY DIDN'T OLD BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS TURN COLOR TOO?
BECAUSE THEY WERE COLORS PICTURES OF BLACK AND WHITE, REMEMBER?
THE WORLD IS COMPLICATED PLACE, HOBBES.
WHENEVER IT SEEMS THAT WAY, I LIKE TO NAP IN A TREE AND WAIT FOR DINNER...


If you really liked this, you can go back to my home page and look

I used to think that oral sex was when you talked dirty over the phone. For real.

When i was about six i was singing along to "like a virgin" by Maddona, and i looked at my mum and dad and said "look, thats what i am isnt it mum?!"

Mum and Dad looked at each other horrified at having such a worldly six year old, and mum managed to splutter "what do you mean?!"

I looked at them like they were stupid, and replied "like a THIRD YEAR...im in class 3 at school!!!!!"

Where EXACTLY in the world would parents be horrified that their 6-year-old is a virgin?

"I used to believe that the school rabbit liked the red berries that grew in the hedge. But then he died."

Hahahahaha

I used to think that I had special powers and could stare at the sun without hurting my eyes. Consequently, now I can't see farther than six inches from my face without wearing glasses. I also thought that when you blackmailed someone, you sent them a really threatening letter in a black envelope.

Come to think of it, I thought a lot of stupid things back then...ah, the good ole days :)

Squid - You mean that isn't what it is? Damn, no wonder she keeps snickering. :(

I used to believe that any farker could post an article which would get accepted, and not just people who paid for it.

Sorry - while I'd like to become a "Total Farker," support Fark (and get to post articles), I'm out of work and living on my savings. And to be brutally honest, if it ever came down to a choice between Fark shutting down or me having to live under a bridge, that's a stone cold decision.

When I was a kid I had a fever...

and I thought the only thing would cure it was more cowbell!!

It's all about the cowbell. :P

A lot like Mouseboxer, I also believed I had powers. Ya know when you stare at the sun then look at something, blotches of colour appear. Weel, I used to truly believe those blotches of colour were beams of power that would have terrible affect on whatever I 'blasted'. Around this time I went on holiday to the U.S and by god, I blasted your cars away. Drivers in Yosemite feared my eye blotches of doom. That's pretty much all I did that holiday. oh, and Disney of course.

I was a weird little guy. Still am.

I used to believe up until very recently that after boys and men urinated they dabbed the end with toilet paper to dry it off. My boyfriend told me with much mirth, when I was about 23, that they only shook it.

Lyndall

I dunno about others, but actually I've always used the paper to wipe the top off.

(naturally I hate urinals)

Well I hope your johnson appreciates the extra TLC you give it.

I'm not sure if it's got anything to do with the TLC but my johnson is very very sensitive.. when having sex I just scream like a girl - and I get either laughed at hysterically, or told to shut up :(