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(Yahoo)   Gunman wounds four in missionary center. Reverse cowgirl headquarters on lockdown   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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3425 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2007 at 11:31 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-12-09 09:43:10 AM  
Yikes.

Story is way too tragic for this otherwise splendid headline.
 
2007-12-09 09:58:16 AM  
Hmmm, where's their god now?
 
2007-12-09 10:02:51 AM  
As snipers take up doggy position. We're in trible.
 
2007-12-09 10:10:26 AM  
This headline makes me all shooty.
 
2007-12-09 11:24:46 AM  
People were notified by a reverse 911. Does that mean that your phone rings and your told by authorities to stay low? Cool!
 
2007-12-09 11:37:16 AM  
The missionary center is the last place I'd look for an ATM.

/missionaries don't carry cash
 
2007-12-09 11:38:03 AM  
Bravo Subby. Bravo. That one made me laugh out loud.
 
2007-12-09 11:39:38 AM  
Submitter is going to hell for such a headline...shame!

And I'll be joining you...can't deny I laughed.
 
2007-12-09 11:40:22 AM  
img242.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-09 11:40:36 AM  
Gunman wounds four in missionary center.

What part of the body is the missionary center?
 
2007-12-09 11:41:06 AM  
Well...I'm not a big fan of missionaries either. Probably wouldn't go so far as to just start murdering them though.

/Don't shootings happen all of the time in Arvada?
 
2007-12-09 11:42:10 AM  
This headline was a cheap laugh.

But I still laughed.
 
2007-12-09 11:42:36 AM  
Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.
 
2007-12-09 11:43:48 AM  
 
2007-12-09 11:46:25 AM  
I believe the term for this is Hate Crime..

But then again all crimes involve a little bit of hate.
 
2007-12-09 11:48:54 AM  
czarangelus: Violence is as American as Apple Pie

weak troll
1/10
Go get some caffeine and bring some real trollfu.
 
2007-12-09 11:49:06 AM  
LeRoyKLeRoy: Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.


Whatever. If a Muslim in this country takes up a gun and randomly murders a half-dozen people in a public place, it just means the Muslim community is integrating well and becoming like their white neighbors.
 
2007-12-09 11:51:16 AM  
fred_chan Don't shootings happen all of the time in Arvada?

No. Arvada is a quiet community. I live there.
 
2007-12-09 11:52:17 AM  
The goal of missionaries is to spread their special kind of stupid to other parts of the world.

/So they make perfect targets.
 
2007-12-09 11:55:47 AM  
Mr. Xhin: The goal of missionaries is to spread their

legs?

I've met a few. Nice girls
 
2007-12-09 11:58:16 AM  
I'm getting a kick out of this headline because I love the reverse cowgirl!
 
2007-12-09 11:58:48 AM  
You know who else was a Youth With a Mission?
The shooter.
 
2007-12-09 12:03:32 PM  
Great header, subby, unfortunate circumstances.
 
2007-12-09 12:04:18 PM  
czarangelus [TotalFark] Quote 2007-12-09 11:49:06 AM
LeRoyKLeRoy: Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.

Whatever. If a Muslim in this country takes up a gun and randomly murders a half-dozen people in a public place, it just means the Muslim community is integrating well and becoming like their white neighbors.

It was not 'a public place'. It was the dormitory of a Bible Missionary School.

/You FAIL at Reading Comprehension!
 
2007-12-09 12:10:22 PM  
A gunman walked into a training center dormitory for young Christian missionaries early Sunday and opened fire...

I want to write a joke that starts like that.

Maybe he just came from Alabama, where they took away his favorite dildo. An itchy cornhole is a dangerous thing.
 
2007-12-09 12:22:36 PM  
So, did he enter in the front, or did he use a back entrance?
 
2007-12-09 12:24:13 PM  
Money down says the school has a strict no-weapons policy. Woke up to my mother calling me about this latest incident. Ruined my Sunday morning.

/Living in Arvada for gunsmithing school
//What better day to buy a firearm
///Shop the 5280 Armory in Arvada.
 
2007-12-09 12:26:12 PM  
Is this the opening salvo on the War on Xmas that Bill OHReally warned us about?
 
2007-12-09 12:26:29 PM  
PenguinCam: People were notified by a reverse 911. Does that mean that your phone rings and your told by authorities to stay low? Cool!

Exactly: they called people in the middle of the night to let them know that a killer was on the loose and to stay in their homes (good luck getting back to sleep).

LeRoyKLeRoy: Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.


Yeah - loads of Muslims in Arvada. Whatever. Last I heard, the hat and beard (and glasses) were all possbilities and hadn't been confirmed.
 
2007-12-09 12:42:03 PM  
my fav headline i've read all yr.

ugly sitation though... ghastly.

cheers subby!
 
2007-12-09 12:44:45 PM  
LeRoyKLeRoy: Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.


Beard, skull cap, could be a Jew or an eastern Orthodox priest. What are the chances considering there are not many Muslims in Arvada in addition to the fact American Muslims are the most mainstream and integrated in the Western world. 75% of young American Muslims reject suicide attacks as un-Islamic.

Link
 
2007-12-09 12:47:14 PM  
trancemission:
Exactly: they called people in the middle of the night to let them know that a killer was on the loose and to stay in their homes (good luck getting back to sleep).


ring-ring... ring-ring... ring-ring... *click*

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Ghastly. This is the police calling. We just want to let you know there's a killer on the road. His brain is squirming like a toad.
 
2007-12-09 12:47:56 PM  
operationdinosaurfingers: my fav headline i've read all yr.

ugly sitation though... ghastly.

cheers subby!


I had nothing to do with it. I swear!
 
2007-12-09 12:53:28 PM  
operationdinosaurfingers

my fav headline i've read all yr.

ugly sitation though... ghastly.

cheers subby!


Thanks!

/My ticket to hell, let me show you it
 
2007-12-09 01:02:41 PM  
You know who else liked a reverse cowgirl?
 
2007-12-09 01:06:09 PM  
I believe 2 are dead now :(
 
2007-12-09 01:21:20 PM  
www.davidstuff.com

/got nuthing
//loves dead missionaries
 
2007-12-09 01:27:26 PM  
Dick_Hertz: czarangelus [TotalFark] Quote 2007-12-09 11:49:06 AM
LeRoyKLeRoy: Skull cap, check.
Beard, check
religion of peace?

/mohammad, piss be on him.

Whatever. If a Muslim in this country takes up a gun and randomly murders a half-dozen people in a public place, it just means the Muslim community is integrating well and becoming like their white neighbors.

It was not 'a public place'. It was the dormitory of a Bible Missionary School.

/You FAIL at Reading Comprehension!



Careful at where you point that FAIL Mister, especially when Czar merely posited a hypothetical situation.
 
2007-12-09 01:31:02 PM  
I'm a dead missionary so I'm getting a bang out of these replies.
 
2007-12-09 02:04:42 PM  
No one deserves to be killed at random, no matter how much some of you might despise missionaries.

Subby, I know this is fark and your headline was funny, but it still seems inappropriate.

/not affiliated in any way with that church or the victims
//not from Colorado
 
2007-12-09 02:07:39 PM  
You know who else let their dog do it reverse cowgirl with a missionary?
 
2007-12-09 02:08:05 PM  
you know who else killed missionaries?

foto.rambler.ru

// just saying.
 
2007-12-09 02:09:40 PM  
ACEllis: Money down says the school has a strict no-weapons policy.

Fools! Don't they know the part of the bible that says "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun."
 
2007-12-09 02:19:14 PM  
Ghastly: trancemission:
Exactly: they called people in the middle of the night to let them know that a killer was on the loose and to stay in their homes (good luck getting back to sleep).

ring-ring... ring-ring... ring-ring... *click*

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Ghastly. This is the police calling. We just want to let you know there's a killer on the road. His brain is squirming like a toad.


Well played, sir!

From TFA: "They're just wonderful people," White said of the center's students. "Their mission is to know God and to make him known."

I dunno about the students, but two of the staff are doing a bang-up job of getting to know God.

/window seat, please
 
2007-12-09 02:20:41 PM  
Dang. Now they won't be able to move to Africa and teach Aids-ravaged communities that condoms do not work...in order to prove that only abstinence and Jeebus can prevent Aids.

/yes, that's what they do
 
2007-12-09 02:35:26 PM  
My first thought was the flamewar will be epic if they discover the shooter was atheist. I want to see that. I know I'm going to hell too.
 
2007-12-09 02:36:55 PM  
xebeche_tzu: in order to prove that only abstinence and Jeebus can prevent Aids.

Well to be fair, not having sex with numerous partners is proven to prevent AIDS.

/Of course if our supposedly secular government would help out with the condoms, it would become a pretty effective one-two punch.
 
2007-12-09 03:15:18 PM  
Nice headline.
 
2007-12-09 03:15:33 PM  
Nice one, subby!
 
2007-12-09 03:20:13 PM  
see you in hell, subby
(from heaven)
 
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