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(Guardian)   Leona Helmsley's dog has bcome the Number One kidnap target in the world - and not to mention death threats from people the biatch has bit   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 31
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3439 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2007 at 2:47 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2007-12-04 02:50:36 AM  
biatch shouldn't have been censored from the headline. It was used properly.

Sheesh. Over sensitive Fark filters.
 
2007-12-04 02:53:31 AM  
People the biatch has bit? Are we talking about helmsley or her dog?
 
2007-12-04 02:53:54 AM  
If they ask for ransom, refuse. They kill the biatch. The world keeps turning.
 
2007-12-04 02:55:40 AM  
Yes, I spelled it the correct way for a female breeder, and it was changed. Christ.

Probably "Christ" is OK, though. Jesus.
 
2007-12-04 02:56:05 AM  
"The tiny white Maltese has had to flee to Florida to escape certain unwelcome attention winter."

Im sure the caretakers will claim the same thing in FLA come spring time and return home
 
2007-12-04 02:56:58 AM  
e
 
2007-12-04 02:57:37 AM  
What the would-be kidnappers do not seem to realise is that Trouble might prove a challenging and costly captive. Currently, it costs more than $300,000 to keep the dog in a manner to which she has become accustomed (she feeds only on food produced by chefs and requires attentive grooming).
There is perhaps a limit to the amount of sympathy one can feel for the dog, due partly to the knowledge that she travels on a private jet, has her own winter home as well as a dedicated team of servants and security guards. Codey said that the bodyguards had come up with a cunning pseudonym to protect her identity - they now call her "Bauble".


What the fark is wrong with people?
 
2007-12-04 03:07:22 AM  
Any money left after the pooch goes to doggy heaven goes to charity. Maybe poochie can go early? Apparently, she's litterally biting the hand that feeds her, and no one wants to take care of her unless they're paid well for it. You know some of that money goes to the dogsitters anyway.
 
2007-12-04 03:11:26 AM  
KOOLmike: e

Hey, subby, drop something?
 
2007-12-04 03:20:31 AM  
tbn0.google.com

Diabolical karma.
 
2007-12-04 03:30:43 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2007-12-04 03:33:23 AM  
"and not to mention death threats from people the biatch has bit" what?

A typo and a fragment, win win win.
 
2007-12-04 03:35:20 AM  
I don't know who Leona Helmsley was - nor do I care, but I'll bet she was a real coont. Because only a coont would leave their farking dog that much money.
 
2007-12-04 03:53:33 AM  
www.mtpolitics.net
 
2007-12-04 05:05:08 AM  
What happens to the money if the dog dies?

Because if I'm the person in charge during a "dog-napping" and you kidnap it looking to extort millions, I might just say "Whatever, kill the little rat", depending on where the money went.
 
2007-12-04 05:48:30 AM  
she travels on a private jet, has her own winter home as well as a dedicated team of servants and security guards.

newsimg.bbc.co.uk

So much for God
 
2007-12-04 05:53:43 AM  
Downtown Dave: So much for God

I think the dog would disagree
 
2007-12-04 06:04:40 AM  
I'm high on Farkitrol so I really don't care about this thread.
 
2007-12-04 06:06:47 AM  
I Said: Downtown Dave: So much for God

I think the dog would disagree


i lol'd
 
2007-12-04 06:11:42 AM  
www.unclesgames.com
 
2007-12-04 09:15:15 AM  
Kidnapping a dog? These men are up to the task:

videodetective.com
 
2007-12-04 09:29:06 AM  
sure folks love the dog, it keeps them employed...


I hope the Devil is shoving watermelons in Leona's ass. She deserves no less.
 
2007-12-04 09:37:50 AM  
I would put that mutt through an Asplundah wood chipper...

BBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!
 
2007-12-04 09:47:02 AM  
Because only a coont a person who was sick of the antics of humans would leave their farking dog that much money.
 
2007-12-04 10:00:36 AM  
who knows maybe the dog would like FL, might give it a chance to get used to the canned dog food that is so popular down there

$300k/yr? sick
 
2007-12-04 10:25:42 AM  
Your dog wants you to pay the ransom?
 
2007-12-04 11:13:25 AM  
What the would-be kidnappers do not seem to realise is that Trouble might prove a challenging and costly captive. Currently, it costs more than $300,000 to keep the dog in a manner to which she has become accustomed (she feeds only on food produced by chefs and requires attentive grooming).

Okay, If I were a kidnapper, the last thing on my priority list would be giveing my hostage the same lavish lifestyle they were accustomed to. This dog would get the same regular dog food my dog is eating, and would be let outside every so often to take a shiat. That is, until I decide to just shoot the farking thing. (Trouble that is. I wouldn't shoot my own dog.)
 
2007-12-04 11:42:45 AM  
Has anyone seen the recent "Mother Goose & Grimm" cartoons featuring this dog?
 
2007-12-04 12:26:18 PM  
Codey said that the bodyguards had come up with a cunning pseudonym to protect her identity - they now call her "Bauble".


I don't know which is more cunning; the devious plan that those mastermind bodyguards devised to "protect" the dog's "identity," or the brilliant idea of the author to publish it so that every single person who reads it knows what the plan is.
 
2007-12-04 03:56:02 PM  
Best way to protect the dog is give me 100K and the dog. The dog can wear a normal collar, eat regular dog food, chase cats, and not get death threats. I can get a new kitchen. The rest goes to charity. Win all 'round!
 
2007-12-05 09:27:30 AM  
"and not to mention death threats from people the biatch has bit"

Go to school, child. It's bitten.
 
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