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(Yahoo)   Ending an age-long dispute, England has finally returned a nautical toilet to Spain   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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5969 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2002 at 9:31 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

141 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-09 10:41:23 AM  
"Deputy editor." Over here that's barley above white trash, if at all. That's dole scum, to you. Get a real job.
2002-10-09 10:46:19 AM  
Anybody have a picture of Mary Tyler Moore's boss from the TV show? That's what Goatman looks and dresses like.

What's your heritage? Centuries of being pissed on by kings and queens? I don't envy you that. Our heritage is being smart enough to know that that wasn't what we wanted to be subjected to. Oh yeah, and we saved your arse a couple of times between then and now. And we're the most powerful country on the planet. And our women brush their teeth. I could go on and on.

By the way, Mr. Editor, I believe that in the Queen's English the punctuation goes in front of the quotation marks. And you write for a living?
2002-10-09 10:46:59 AM  
her·i·tage Pronunciation Key (hr-tj)
Property that is or can be inherited; an inheritance.
Something that is passed down from preceding generations; a tradition.
The status acquired by a person through birth; a birthright: a heritage of affluence and social position. in American heritage - uniquely so since 1607 (Virgina) and 1620 (Massachusetts). Don't believe me? Read some Alexis de Tocqueville.
2002-10-09 10:48:19 AM  
1.5 million euros (dollars)

I know american "culture" is taking over Europe - but since when was a Euro a dollar ?
2002-10-09 10:48:21 AM  
Kpar90: Sorry, I'm not going to mention the company on a public forum to cover my own back, and as a result you don't know what. It could be the Washington Post for all you know, Q, or Empire magazine.

However, remember that America is full of all our old dole scum, so I'm barley (!) above you, but above nonetheless.
2002-10-09 10:49:23 AM  
nice work purple. goat, i see where your going, good use of quotes for impact, but we need to work on your execution. ummm you all have bad teeth? maybe? go with it.
2002-10-09 10:52:34 AM  
armchairdis The euro & the dollar are worth near as damnit the same at the moment so its just short hand for €1.5 million = $1.5 million
2002-10-09 10:55:00 AM  
Kittens: Ok. I'm finding response hard because I just can't seem to top the national stereotype of a fat t-shirt wearing ignorant loudmouth more interested in money than actual quality of life.

How about, "Haha, Dubya's your president." Will that do?
2002-10-09 10:59:24 AM  
Goatman: It would not matter if you were an editor for any of those publications. Editing work done by others is useless work. Glad you can find typos others make, if not your own. Must be nice to be a back seat driver in the publications world.

Above me? Doubt it. Your heritage is probably sliding your way into university at the favor of the important person for whom your dad is a butler/chauffer/grounds keeper.
2002-10-09 10:59:50 AM  
Hmmm...British heritage:

Britons conquered by the
Romans conquered by the
Saxons conquered by the
Angles conquered by the
Jutes conquered by the
Danes conquered by the
French conquered by the... I sense a trend?

national sterotype: Sanctimonious priss without an ounce of concern with things not British and the nerve to think that the sun (still) never sets on the British Empire
2002-10-09 11:00:31 AM  

and our women brush their teeth

You think this is a good thing? You've obviously never enjoyed the esoteric delights of a good gumjob.
2002-10-09 11:00:32 AM  

Whats the piece of glass at the front of your car? Windshield or windscreen?
What's the piece of metal at the front of your car? Hood or bonnet?
How do you get to the 34th floor of a building? Elevator or lift?
What do you use to clean your carpets? Vaccuum cleaner or Hoover?
Where would you go to get a perscription filled? Pharmacy or Chemists?

Hardly the same language?

I'll see your Irish not-mother-in-law & raise you an extra large country-boy brother-in-law who is plasterer by trade and will be hanging all my drywall in my new addition (I believe you say "extension") for the price of a few beers.
2002-10-09 11:01:50 AM  
How about, "Haha, Dubya's your president." Will that do?

Blair's your PM?
2002-10-09 11:05:16 AM  
It's a conspiracy. Find your own damn jokes then! Pffft...
2002-10-09 11:05:34 AM  
Kpar90: I tend to concentrate any real effort on my work instead of my Fark comments, but I'm glad I got the point across.

"Your heritage is probably sliding your way into university at the favor of the important person for whom your dad is a butler/chauffer/grounds keeper"

No, over here in Britain, we do it by academic achievement as opposed to sports or contacts, unless one is royal, in which case it doesn't matter as one is only ever going to be a recepticle for money from Americans buying overpriced tat with one's name on it because they think that it will somehow bring them closer to having a valid history anyway.
Nice stereotypically ignorant generalisation, though.
2002-10-09 11:07:10 AM  
Yeah, shut up Mayoboy. No one voted for him, either.
2002-10-09 11:10:52 AM  
Ha, I'll leave it all to you Goatman. I just found out that I might have to go to Memphis tomorrow so I'm going to have to do some acutal work today and leave Fark by the wayside.

Have fun with your iron cufflinks.
2002-10-09 11:12:12 AM  
Oops, I almost forgot: If having your own language is a hallmark of culture, how do you explain German & French?
2002-10-09 11:13:49 AM  
Purple_Jack The euro & the dollar are worth near as damnit the same

D'oh! Yup, you're quite right, they are.
2002-10-09 11:15:26 AM  
Mayoboy: Science gone bad?
2002-10-09 11:18:10 AM  
Goatman: Valid history??? WTF is a "valid" history? perhps you meant longer or more ancient or something, but "valid"? Who taught you to think like that?
2002-10-09 11:18:15 AM  
One more thing before I go. Is this part of your culture that you speak so highly of? Viking Kitties

(make sure to have your speakers on)
2002-10-09 11:18:43 AM  
Purple: Guess I'll have to go to England and try it out then. I definitely don't like biters. Remember that link about old Japanese prostitutes a while back? Maybe they have them in the UK too. Best stop now, don't want to offend Goatman's superior English sensibilities.

And Goatman, are you telling me that nobody ever makes it to university unless they have good grades or are royalty? Politics never plays a part? Whether you think I know your history or not, one thing I do know is that idiot children of non-royal important people will get into college--in any country. Case in point: your education. That's setting aside my assumption that your dad is a butler, of course.
2002-10-09 11:19:49 AM  
Wait a minute Goatman, isn't your "university" free? Like your "health care?" When was the last time you received ANYTHING worthwhile FREE??
2002-10-09 11:21:25 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-09 11:23:47 AM  
Kpar90: I see the insult you're trying to make, but I do feel you could put in a little more effort.

How about using the fact that I missed my own typos as an example of how poor my education is, or that, in being English, we're stooped in a class system that renders education redundant, and the gene pool, through limited expansion due to years of inbreeding royals, thereby through default makes the English mentally rancid?
2002-10-09 11:24:53 AM  
Ironcross: Don't make me bring your mum into this.
2002-10-09 11:25:18 AM  
TheLude: Let's not change the topic to the real issue of the article. We're still waiting to hear from Goatman about why his country is so superior. Besides the funny accent and raising your pinky when you drink tea. Come on Goatman, astonish us with ANYTHING you've done right since 1588. ONE THING.
2002-10-09 11:28:21 AM  
Goatman: I try not to point ut the truly obvious. But I guess in your case, I'll have to from now on.
2002-10-09 11:28:25 AM  
Bass555: No one in particular. It was meant more as a sardonic comment about American Hollywoodisation of History. Eg, the Titanic going down on her maiden voyage, & it being due to two people necking on the deck being watched by the lookouts.
2002-10-09 11:29:19 AM  

Look dude, you'd better get going, it's time for dinner, and if you don't EAT YOUR MEAT, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING!

BTW, your dental care is free too isn't it?
2002-10-09 11:29:46 AM  
KPar90, just one thing? How about:
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-09 11:33:07 AM  
ok, liz is def one of the greatest english contributions ever made to the world, that and monty python. but come one, what else?
2002-10-09 11:33:51 AM  
Ironcross BTW, your dental care is free too isn't it?

Funny thing is it's not. Which probably explains why the NHS and our hospitals are so much better then our dental care ;-)
2002-10-09 11:37:03 AM  
Goatman: If you believe the "Hollywoodisation" of history, you've bigger problems than I originally thought...
2002-10-09 11:37:22 AM  
Kpar90: Erm... the whole history, culture, language, depth, concentration-span, dicipline, maturity thing springs immediately to mind, but if you'd like a more in depth study - well, people appear to be providing examples already.
2002-10-09 11:39:07 AM  
Bass555: "It was meant more as a sardonic comment about American Hollywoodisation of History."
2002-10-09 11:41:01 AM  
Bass555: Britain has never been conquered. In fact no one's even tried. You're thinking of the 1066 invasion of England by the Normans (who were actually Danes even though they wer from France). Britain didn't form as a nation state until the 17th century.

Kpar90: Britain's not particularly suprior to anywhere (except Argentina), but is is the oldest continuous democracy in the world. And as for doing anything right since 1588, if I only have to name one thing, I'd like to nominate single handedly fighting off Nazis, the Japanese and the Italians across 4 continents for 3 years before you lot bothered to turn up (refering of course to the 1939-45 war).
2002-10-09 11:41:37 AM  
Bass555: Britain has never been conquered. In fact no one's even tried. You're thinking of the 1066 invasion of England by the Normans (who were actually Danes even though they wer from France). Britain didn't form as a nation state until the 17th century.

Kpar90: Britain's not particularly suprior to anywhere (except Argentina), but is is the oldest continuous democracy in the world. And as for doing anything right since 1588, who did you all come crying to when you couldn't cope with the taliban? British Royal Marines.
2002-10-09 11:45:22 AM  
"We're quite happy just pootling along having history, culture and intelligent discussions about exactly how America's farking up the whole world."

ROFL. Too bad 90% of the world's problems were caused by Europeans. They are always the first to point the finger at the USA. Europe sucks.
2002-10-09 11:45:25 AM  
That just doubled Italies GNP, and caused the government to change 5 times.
2002-10-09 11:47:19 AM  
Goatman: Touche. I didn't even know your were from Sardonia.

PerkyBoo: British heritage derives from England, too, does it not? And although you may be right, I seem to recall that William of Orange's accession to the throne was considered (by him at least) as a conquest of arms, as opposed to a grant from Parliament. Nit-picking? You bet!
2002-10-09 11:47:42 AM  
Sex0r: Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
2002-10-09 11:49:48 AM  
Wait a minute Perky... Britain a democracy? How about Socialist? Everything IS provided you from the government, ISN'T IT?

The US government isn't even a democracy, we are a representative REPUBLIC. And I'd say my ancestors that fought in the Revolution, and they did, "conquered" your ass. Did you have any loser ancestors that fought against my VICTORIOUS ancestors?

Don't tread on me!
Yorktown FOREVER!

2002-10-09 11:51:48 AM  
Penis: She's not the average British woman. She may be the one good thing UK has turned out since 1588.

Perky: You're obviously capable of much more intelligent thought than Goatman. But I'm not sure the UK did it alone. Lendlease programs, American pilots helping fight off the Blitz (there weren't many, but there were some there), and the Russians all come to mind. 22 million dead Russians. If Hitler had waited to finish off Britain before he opened up the second front, you would be typing German right about now. Dunkirk is another example of it not being such a victorious fight as you let on.
2002-10-09 12:02:28 PM  
So how long exactly do you have to be a nation in order to have a unique and valis culture?

America has been a nation over 200 years, isolated and allowed to form its own culture seperate from colonial europe since 1600 or so, thats 400 years of cultural development.

America has created its own art, architecture, music, theater, food, language (based on British english the same way european language is based on Latin), this culture has been exported and adopted by much of the world, including Briton. It has been added to by immagrants coming here (like the romans, normans, saxons, french, vikings added to english culture).

So again, how long exactly does the US have to be a nation before we have our own "valid" culture?
2002-10-09 12:14:35 PM  
You're asking what the British have ever given you, well what about all of our comedy that you import and seem to love so much for example Monty Python, Absolutely Fabulous, Fawlty Towers, Mr. Bean, Benny Hill etc? And what about the music for example the Beatles, Clapton, the Stones, Sex Pistols, Queen, the Clash, Pink Floyd, the Police and about a thousand more bands that you can't get enough of? Then there's the women as well, Liz Hurley, the Spice Girls, Kelly Brook, Dido, Gwyneth Paltrow to name a few. And the quality beer also, I spent a few months over there and couldn't help noticing how much you love our Boddingtons for instance. And this is just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head, there's so much more of our culture that you are obsessed with.
2002-10-09 12:16:03 PM  
I declare myself the winner of this thread, and will be down the pub if anyone wants me.

Kpar90 & anyone else taking this a little too seriously, Britain (and therefore myself by default) is far better than America (and therefore any Americans by default)ever will be, for reasons far beyond your comprehension. Therefore any points that you make are automatically invalid and I'm afraid you're just going to have to live with that. However, anyone wishing to try and physically threaten me in the style of Das Coop yesterday is welcome to give it a try, as I'm 7' tall and can beat anyone up, and have bulletproof skin.

Thank you for playing.
2002-10-09 12:18:24 PM  
...and while I'm talking about the music that we gave to you what did you give us in return? NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys, thankyou so much for that, we're really grateful, cheers.
2002-10-09 12:23:04 PM  
oh yeah, and we also gave you football, proper football
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