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(Orlando Sentinel)   It's that time of year when Vegans try to convince themselves that tofu-based faux meat is as tasty as a real turkey   ( orlandosentinel.com) divider line
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5418 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2007 at 12:07 AM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-11-19 09:11:50 PM  
Anyone who tries to replicate meat with tofu will be disappointed. But, if you think, this is a tasty meal using tofu, you usually enjoy it. Unless you're a closed-minded twat and would never like tofu no matter how good it tastes.
 
2007-11-19 09:32:26 PM  
Tofu is homosexual food.
 
2007-11-19 09:35:14 PM  
Last year, vegan Darshan Caraballo went to a traditional Thanksgiving turkey dinner with her husband's family but felt uncomfortable because she eats no animal products.

You should feel uncomfortable and bad because your dietary choice is stupid and bad.
 
2007-11-19 09:42:24 PM  
I find most vegetarians and vegans sexy (I like small frames) but extremely irrational in general, kind of kills it.
 
2007-11-19 09:45:11 PM  
While I have found tofu to be tasty when prepared properly, this is the stupidest idea I have ever come across. Vegans who can't find a place to eat on Thanksgiving should just stay home and drink a bottle of wine.
 
2007-11-19 09:45:55 PM  
I really don't get it. If you don't wanna eat meat, fine, your choice, whatever, more power to you. But why the hell create "replicate meat"? It's like fat-free, sugar-free ice cream. Doesn't make sense.
 
2007-11-19 10:07:55 PM  
Tofurkey is actually pretty good, although it is way salty and made from legumes. Lots of other things people like are vegan like veggie stir fry and salads. Turkey is kind of nasty meat, and unless you are getting an heirloom turkey the breed is a particularly disgusting and bizarre zombie turkey creation that could never live in the wild.

If you really want to experience thankfulness then you should fast during Thanksgiving.
 
2007-11-19 10:10:08 PM  
This is the one thing I've never understood about vegans. If you've made the conscious decision to stop eating meat, why do you insist on trying to replace it w/ meat flavored bean curd? If you really miss the taste of meat, eat it.

I understand if it's a food allergy or any other health related issue. Otherwise, it's like driving a Ferarri for most of you life, deciding to replace it with a Yugo & trying to convince yourself the Yugo is just as fun to drive.
 
2007-11-19 10:19:24 PM  
That's awful.

Even turkey roasts aren't like real turkey--the texture is all wrong. You gotta have the grain of the meat and the stringy bits.

/has one cooking right now because I love turkey and don't much hold to tradition
 
2007-11-19 10:19:26 PM  
Whamdangler: Unless you're a closed-minded twat and would never like tofu no matter how good it tastes.

I've eaten tofu. It tastes horrid.
 
2007-11-19 10:21:10 PM  
BTW, is it wrong to point out that the people in the picture in TFA are all fat?
 
2007-11-19 10:37:13 PM  
I thought everybody loved Tofurkey?!?
 
2007-11-19 10:44:29 PM  
Whamdangler: Unless you're a closed-minded twat and would never like tofu no matter how good it tastes.

Isn't tofu virtually tasteless and only 'has a flavour' from whatever it comes in contact with.

/hence, tofu being a nice little addition to soup and a few other dishes, but totally raw straight up unseasoned tofu being nasty.
 
2007-11-19 10:45:32 PM  
I will also eat seawead/kelp when it's wrapped around a sushi roll. But I wonder WTF is wrong with the folks that buy it in a bag and eat it like a snack.
 
2007-11-19 10:58:59 PM  
The best part of the turkey is the stuffing cooked inside the bird, and the gravy made from it's juices.

Good luck replicating that with the edible equivalent of styrofoam.
 
2007-11-19 10:59:34 PM  
Damned apostrophe.
 
2007-11-19 11:13:44 PM  
lordargent: totally raw straight up unseasoned tofu

I like raw tofu, but not for Thanksgiving, thanks, nor most any other time.
 
2007-11-20 12:10:33 AM  
Those people are kind of fat to be vegans.
 
2007-11-20 12:10:33 AM  
I will be serving, as always, Turkey Corleone.

It's a regular turkey, face down in a shallow gravy.
 
2007-11-20 12:10:56 AM  
Whamdangler [TotalFark] Quote 2007-11-19 09:11:50 PM
Anyone who tries to replicate meat with tofu will be disappointed. But, if you think, this is a tasty meal using tofu, you usually enjoy it. Unless you're a closed-minded twat and would never like tofu no matter how good it tastes.


Tofu does not taste good. It tastes like cardboard. It is only edible because people cover it in herbs or slather it in thick sauces. But that doesn't mean the tofu itself tastes good. You could stick styrofoam peanuts in those sauces and they would taste great.
 
2007-11-20 12:12:13 AM  
bob_ross: I find most vegetarians and vegans sexy (I like small frames) but extremely irrational in general, kind of kills it.

Vegetarians and vegans tend to be thin or skinny, not simply because of their diet, but because thin people are more likely to be attracted to something like vegetarianism, especially if they're men. A man's body build has a lot to do with determining his basic personality and thus his interests and attitudes.
 
2007-11-20 12:12:26 AM  
Ten times the flavor of, but only half the enjoyment of, tofurkey and turkey are both very different things for very different people. Consider those who upon one time ate turkey but now instead eat tofurkey, and then consider at face value the enjoyment one might experience of one over the other. To see it from all perspectives is in the interests of how people can share delicacies from around the world and spectrum of culture across the nation.
 
2007-11-20 12:12:59 AM  
Looks like that vegan diet is working out for them:

www.orlandosentinel.com
 
2007-11-20 12:13:08 AM  
wyltoknow: I really don't get it... It's like fat-free, sugar-free ice cream. Doesn't make sense.

or Diet caffeine-free soda.
 
2007-11-20 12:13:14 AM  
BobtheFascist: This is the one thing I've never understood about vegans. If you've made the conscious decision to stop eating meat, why do you insist on trying to replace it w/ meat flavored bean curd? If you really miss the taste of meat, eat it.

Seconded. Why the hell try and replace the taste of something you profess to despise?
 
2007-11-20 12:13:24 AM  
lordargent: Isn't tofu virtually tasteless and only 'has a flavour' from whatever it comes in contact with.

/hence, tofu being a nice little addition to soup and a few other dishes, but totally raw straight up unseasoned tofu being nasty.


Actually, it tastes like tofu.

Pretty good too, if you like tofu.

I like tofu.
And meat.

And Toshiro Mifune.

Tofune!
 
2007-11-20 12:13:29 AM  
Call me when they can make a tofu Turducken

www.hudsonent.com
 
2007-11-20 12:13:57 AM  
wyltoknow: I really don't get it. If you don't wanna eat meat, fine, your choice, whatever, more power to you. But why the hell create "replicate meat"? It's like fat-free, sugar-free ice cream. Doesn't make sense.

BobtheFascist: This is the one thing I've never understood about vegans. If you've made the conscious decision to stop eating meat, why do you insist on trying to replace it w/ meat flavored bean curd? If you really miss the taste of meat, eat it.


THESE.

Vegetarians and Vegans say they don't want to eat any living thing. Aren't plants living things, too? They "breathe", they grow, they reproduce, they interact with their environment. Where are the plants rights activists?
 
2007-11-20 12:14:37 AM  
My girlfriend and daughter are both vegetarians, but they're not pains in the ass about it. We're hosting Thanksgiving this year, and we're having Tofurkey and a regular turkey. I'm making vegetarian dressing and vegetarian gravy. Some of the dressing will go into the turkey, making it no longer a vegetarian dish.

There will be plenty of food for anyone who wants it, and it's not that much more trouble.
 
2007-11-20 12:14:54 AM  
What? No one here has breaded and deep fried tofu before?
 
2007-11-20 12:15:20 AM  
aerojockey: Looks like that vegan diet is working out for them:

They relapse and eat children on the weekends.
 
2007-11-20 12:15:23 AM  
wyltoknow: It's like fat-free, sugar-free ice cream.

Wouldn't that be "ice"?
 
2007-11-20 12:15:25 AM  
lordargent: I will also eat seawead/kelp when it's wrapped around a sushi roll. But I wonder WTF is wrong with the folks that buy it in a bag and eat it like a snack.


Kelp dementia.
 
2007-11-20 12:15:44 AM  
I've always thought that anything with Tofu in it automatically looks like vomit. Just me, I guess.
 
2007-11-20 12:15:54 AM  
m0llusk: Tofurkey is actually pretty good, although it is way salty and made from legumes. Lots of other things people like are vegan like veggie stir fry and salads. Turkey is kind of nasty meat, and unless you are getting an heirloom turkey the breed is a particularly disgusting and bizarre zombie turkey creation that could never live in the wild.

If you really want to experience thankfulness then you should fast during Thanksgiving.


Do not want. (aside from peanuts). I enjoy lots of vegetarian dishes, but I'll never stoop to tofu, nor vegan stuff. I dislike vegan "alternatives" for the same reason I like organic foods; replicated foods suck. Doesn't matter if it's meat mixed with...god knows what in hot dogs, Tofu burgers, fake ice cream, ect.

I like real food. Tofu trying to be meat does not qualify.
 
2007-11-20 12:16:08 AM  
Bith Set Me Up:

Vegetarians and Vegans say they don't want to eat any living thing. Aren't plants living things, too? They "breathe", they grow, they reproduce, they interact with their environment. Where are the plants rights activists?


#426527 (pops)

We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the farking plants
 
2007-11-20 12:16:28 AM  
Tofu makes me almost throw up. Seriously, if you want a vegetarian meal, when not cook the best the non-meat world has to offer instead of something intended to approximate meat. I have a friend who's having a vegan Thanksgiving and there won't be any faux meat. I still feel sorry for his mother, though. The biatch is 80, let her have some farking bird.
 
2007-11-20 12:16:42 AM  
Bith Set Me Up: Vegetarians and Vegans say they don't want to eat any living thing. Aren't plants living things, too? They "breathe", they grow, they reproduce, they interact with their environment. Where are the plants rights activists?

In some times they may live through the light but in terms of human to nature connection the plant is nothing but a bit of fodder to feed upon, much like the cattle upon which we also feed upon. In this way I do not see a difference, but in other ways I some times can see what some people seem to see in things like not eating meats in favor of only eating the plant.
 
2007-11-20 12:17:03 AM  
BravadoGT: Call me when they can make a tofu Turducken

I just got a stomach boner....
 
2007-11-20 12:17:14 AM  
De gustibus non est disputandum, Submittfark.
 
2007-11-20 12:17:17 AM  
I have never had a problem with the TASTE of tofu, it's the TEXTURE I don't like. It's weird, kind of artificial-feeling and awkward, like a steak made of calamari. Just not my thing.
 
2007-11-20 12:17:50 AM  
BravadoGT: Call me when they can make a tofu Turducken

Where does a person get one of those? Really really want.
 
2007-11-20 12:18:12 AM  
mmmmm...turkey
 
2007-11-20 12:18:24 AM  
BravadoGT: Call me when they can make a tofu Turducken

Call me when they make tofu Tums.
 
2007-11-20 12:18:27 AM  
Whamdangler: Anyone who tries to replicate meat with tofu will be disappointed. But, if you think, this is a tasty meal using tofu, you usually enjoy it. Unless you're a closed-minded twat and would never like tofu no matter how good it tastes.

I guess I'm just a close-minded twat, although I consider myself fairly open minded when it comes to food (in that I'll basically eat anything). Although not a regular staple of my diet, I do eat tofu fairly regularly. Your implication that tofu is "tasty" is ridiculous. Tofu has an extremely bland taste (if you could call it that). However, it does tend to pick up flavours of other foods, and does add a nice texture and substance. Your self-righeous, condescending post is a good example why vegans (and to a lesser extent, vegetarians) are ridiculed and hated. The hypocrisy is almost overwhelming.
 
2007-11-20 12:18:35 AM  
Why did the vegan cross the road?

To tell me he didn't eat meat, eggs, or dairy products.

Then he crossed back.

(Same thing also happened with the guy who told me he doesn't own a TV).
 
2007-11-20 12:18:49 AM  
I am a vegetarian, and I enjoy tofu. I will, however, under no circumstances eat tofurkey again. It's atrocious.
 
2007-11-20 12:19:41 AM  
Why not make vegetarian "meat"? It's simply another choice on the market. It doesn't take away from your ability to eat meat. Plus, some of it is pretty damn good.

My girlfriend's mother flat refuses to even try a bite of any vegetarian meat substitute. I think that's kind of ridiculous.
 
2007-11-20 12:19:59 AM  
Bith Set Me Up
Where are the plants rights activists?

Here's a song on that subject...

/Arrogant Worms FTW
 
2007-11-20 12:20:09 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I will be serving, as always, Turkey Corleone.

It's a regular turkey, face down in a shallow gravy.


This made me laugh.

I may try this next Thanksgiving, while watching The Sopranos reruns.
 
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