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(MSNBC)   Ugly-ass baby porsche SUV(with pic)   ( divider line
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25273 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2002 at 4:50 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

101 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-06 10:00:42 AM  
It looks like a Suburu.

Suburu + Porsche =/= UberPorsche
2002-10-06 01:33:46 PM  
This is utterly utterly shameful and pathetic for what used to be a car company that prided itself on being unique and special.

There's no call for this!

Nobody wants to do 4x4 at 168 mph. Nobody wants to hit the mountain trails to do 0-60 in under six seconds. Nobody wants to pile the family into the car to beat Ford Expeditions off the mark at red lights. Nobody should want a guzzling V8 for no other reason than to haul around that huge amount of weight at high speeds. And nobody will want to be involved in the first over-100 mph rollover accident, because regardless of how much whiz-bang computerized traction control they put into that thing, some moe is gonna take it to full speed and do ridiculous traffic manuevers down back roads. (Which is what ought to be done with Porsche vehicles, just not ones that weight over 5000 lbs.)

I'll bet the farker has 12 or more cup holders. I'm going to barf now.
2002-10-06 02:36:26 PM  
At least it's better than the Aztec!
2002-10-06 04:15:16 PM  
Undertoad: I disagree with pretty much everything you say, except the part about the rollover.
2002-10-06 04:27:24 PM  
That's funny cos I figured that was the one point someone would call me on. There's gotta be SOME computerized traction control that could prevent a rollover (unless some consumer advocate rag attaches big weights to it to get publicity).
2002-10-06 04:52:50 PM  
I like it, it looks good to me.
2002-10-06 04:54:44 PM  
That's no SUV, that's a station wagon!
2002-10-06 04:57:12 PM  
Yes, undertoad, just as soon as they can defy the laws of physics they'll create your magical "rollover preventing traction control"
2002-10-06 04:57:25 PM  
Porsche makes an SUV. Hold on a minute.

*flips through biblical scholarly papers*

Yep. That's the 3rd sign of the Apocalypse.
2002-10-06 04:57:47 PM  
Funny, it looks like that Audi 4wd wagon. Only more expensive I'd expect.
2002-10-06 04:58:01 PM  
The BMW suv looks way better, costs much less.
2002-10-06 04:58:45 PM  
That ain't's oogly
2002-10-06 04:59:01 PM  
The Cayenne? They named it after pepper?
2002-10-06 04:59:07 PM  
I doubt that this vehicle's center of gravity is high enough to cause extra rollover risks... it's more of a station wagon with all wheel drive.
2002-10-06 04:59:11 PM  
Front end: Citroen 60

Rear end: Audi

Whole thing: Disgusting!!! Hate it.

What's next, a Ferrari tank?
2002-10-06 05:00:18 PM  
2002-10-06 05:00:27 PM  
hmm...I'd like to see a Ferrari tank in cherry red
2002-10-06 05:00:43 PM  
Didn't lamborgini (sp?) have an SUV in the 80s?
2002-10-06 05:04:17 PM  
it looks like something a * gay ass uberjock * would buy .
i'll keep my car thanks
2002-10-06 05:05:40 PM  
They'll sell them just fine.
Becuase the current crop of style blind corpulent American slobs likes BIG METAL.
2002-10-06 05:05:44 PM  
At least it's better than the Aztec!

i'll concede to at least that... there's nothing uglier than an Aztec SAV (suburban assault vehicle, they really need defense for those curbs and soccer moms!)
2002-10-06 05:06:39 PM  
In whose pathetic wussy world is this an SUV??

This looks like a pregnant station wagon. Kinda like Saturn's runt of an SUV.

2002-10-06 05:06:42 PM  
Clevershark Didn't lamborgini (sp?) have an SUV in the 80s?

Yes, Lamborghini had an SUV. It was capable of doing 180MPH in the sand, and was nicknamed "Rambo's Lambo". This thing may be a bit ugly, but damn, < 6sec to 60 for an SUV ain't bad.

2002-10-06 05:09:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Lamborghini SUV
2002-10-06 05:10:40 PM  
Oh cool. Kids dropping sippy cups and leaky diapers in a Porsche. Grocery store here we come.
2002-10-06 05:11:31 PM  
Yes, I found another pic of the Rambo Lambo:

[image from too old to be available]

Heck, at least it looks a bit manly. Not like the Porsche one.
2002-10-06 05:13:20 PM  
isn't calling a SUV ugly a bit redundant

there should be licensing required to buy a SUV, proof that you need it for it's intened purpose
2002-10-06 05:13:29 PM  
It's just basically yet another luxury SUV..... an oxymoron in its own sense, because we ALL know that I'm going to take my BMW or Lexus SUV off road and really NEED that 4x4 drive..

2002-10-06 05:14:08 PM  
wonder if the US military had the rambo lambo designers working on their humvees at the beginning? it looks an awful lot like one. the wheels and front grill/lights look awfully dated & ugly
2002-10-06 05:15:23 PM  
If it's expensive, they will buy it.
2002-10-06 05:19:24 PM  
I think the Honda Element is ugly. It looks like something Pebbles and Bam-Bam would drive
2002-10-06 05:20:02 PM  
Piece of Shiat!
2002-10-06 05:21:35 PM  
It looks like the Audi S4 Avant.
2002-10-06 05:24:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 05:25:03 PM  
That'll teach me not to refresh before posting. ACK!
2002-10-06 05:29:25 PM  
god damn! i'd be afraid to get mud on it. geez.

and yes, it does look like something a gay ass uberjock would buy. or at least sigfried and roy...

i like the comment about the 3rd sign of the apocalypse, too. man, you guys are in rare form tonight!

2002-10-06 05:29:32 PM  
Porsche SUV?? Hank Kingsley playing a radio call-in shrink on tv, except it's real. God help the satirists. I never use the term SUV, that would seem to elevate them beyond their painfully working class origins. Good god, who would want to drive these trucks, as I call them, save for public school teachers, state emp'ees and cops. But then, I see the Limp wrists, mama's boys, bedwetters who complain about them and they make we want to buy one. A big farking one. Confused..
2002-10-06 05:30:16 PM  
SUV: [image from too old to be available]

SUV: [image from too old to be available]

SUV: [image from too old to be available]

SUV: [image from too old to be available]

NOT an SUV: [image from too old to be available]

that's all for today, class!

(i don't have anything in particular for jeeps... i just think an suv should have SOME off-road capability [and the driver should use it!])

but what do i know...
-- 2001 honda civic owner
2002-10-06 05:30:34 PM  
If I were rich enough to afford this, I'd also be rich enough to afford a Landrover _and_ a 911, and drive the one I want when I want. What the hell is the point of this thing?
2002-10-06 05:39:12 PM  
I know a traffic policeman here in England and he pulls 2 kinds of people more often than anyone else.

1)People with baseball caps

2)People iwth SUV's with no mud and no towbar

This SUV just screams mid-life-crisis, late 30something with a baseball cap.
2002-10-06 05:39:54 PM  
My car does 42 mpg.
2002-10-06 05:46:32 PM  
If I had the money and I wanted an off-road vehicle, I'd get a subaru WRX. The subarus always win the rally race held by me. I would kill to get the chance to drive it on all the seasonal roads around me.

Speaking of which, I have yet to see a SUV enter that rally race...
2002-10-06 05:50:44 PM  
My motorbike does 30mpg :(
2002-10-06 05:52:18 PM  
Porsche claims the Turbo is capable of reaching 100 km/hr (62 mph) in just 5.6 seconds, which is pretty impressive for a vehicle that weighs over 5,000 lbs.

Ha! You ain't seen nothing till you seen Mo Vaughn hustle out an infield single.
2002-10-06 05:56:22 PM

2002-10-06 05:58:07 PM  
Nope, VAN.
2002-10-06 06:01:44 PM  
now all the american soccer moms who bounce around from one activity to the other have a better chance of crashing and exposing their true inner ugliness. I hate soccer moms
2002-10-06 06:02:26 PM  
If I were rich enough to afford this, I'd also be rich enough to afford a Landrover _and_ a 911, and drive the one I want when I want. What the hell is the point of this thing?

Good point SpaceCoyote. Your Landrover is in my 911. Your 911 is in my Landrover.
2002-10-06 06:07:18 PM  
I hate soccer moms

Yeah and I hate the soccer Decal on the back of their SUVs. I start to ask one what nation's flag that was.
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 06:31:52 PM  
Bhayes82: I liked your montage. Exactly right.

but what do i know...
-- 2001 honda civic owner

I'm also a small car owner. Why? Because I do not tow things, I do not offroad, and I usually drive only myself. Retards who commute by themselves to work in their Expeditions because they "feel more safe" greatly annoy me.

My small car gets 2-3 times your mileage, can out accellerate, and can out maneuver/out park your beast. The only thing the city driven SUV can do better than my car is cream smaller cars while talking on a cell phone.
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