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(Lawnmower Guy)   A strained relationship between neighbors over how often he mows his lawn ends with man shot with pellet gun   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

6234 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2002 at 4:18 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

38 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-06 10:02:15 AM  
That wasn't too cool of Mr. French. I guess Uncle Bill fired his ass.
2002-10-06 10:04:03 AM  
I can't believe he didn't "French Surrenders" in the title.
2002-10-06 04:21:29 PM  
It's 3a.m. you asshole. Pow.
2002-10-06 04:22:33 PM  
More like 3:20PM
2002-10-06 04:22:58 PM  
To stupid to be true, or happen outside of Florida.
2002-10-06 04:25:17 PM  
You'll shoot your eye out!!! You'll shoot your eye out!!!
2002-10-06 04:25:37 PM  
yeah but really, what problem can't be solved with pellet guns?
2002-10-06 04:25:44 PM  
That's the eighth cut today!!!
2002-10-06 04:26:04 PM  


2002-10-06 04:26:26 PM  
I wonder if she did it:

[image from too old to be available]

2002-10-06 04:27:54 PM  
I'd hit it!
2002-10-06 04:30:08 PM  
probably a Farker - that airgun store ad wears down everyone eventually
2002-10-06 04:30:13 PM  
This has to be the worst title for a fark article I have ever seen. Yuck.
2002-10-06 04:31:56 PM  
So, was the argument over the fact that the guy moved is lawn too much or not enough?
2002-10-06 04:33:52 PM  
er..."moved is lawn" = "mowed his lawn".

Damn keyboard :P
2002-10-06 04:33:59 PM  
He mowed him down..hehe.
2002-10-06 04:42:54 PM  
A horse's ass from Horseheads.
2002-10-06 04:43:17 PM  
how strange...when i read the article description there was an ad for a pellet gun right next to it.
2002-10-06 04:53:42 PM  
Took me awhile to figure out that it indeed was not a man with a horsehead, but a man from Horsehead. Honestly, who names these places?
2002-10-06 04:58:40 PM  
Get thee hence, Chief among Villains! Thou art indeed a coldhearted son of an adder to accuse me in such manner of the most vile and reprehensible conduct! I am black affronted sir, and my dim view of thee grows dimmer by the hour, thou cream-faced loon!! My dark appraisal of the local specimens of womanhood was meant in no way to belie a burning in my loins for those whose sex is like unto mine. Verily, my remonstrances against the filthy dolly-mops and saucy trollops was merely the fruition of my severe vexation at the steadily declining quality of the faire creatures as compared with my own native lands. Were you there, sir, I could show thee a hearty lass, full of vitality and the vigor of youth, who would find no trouble in cracking open the greenest of hazlenuts with the sinews of her secrets. Such a demonstration could not but bring about the most awestruck response from the likes of you, who have been too long in this land of slack, sagging harpies whose very visage produces in the observer the manifest prognostics of indigestion. And yet there is hope for thee. Even now I give thee the opportunity to withdraw this most distasteful gauntlet which you have thrown into my face forthwith. If thou wouldst not do this, then prepare thy sword, thy magicks, and all they skills, for thou wilt have great need of them when my sore anger is kindled. Having spoken my piece, I leave you to decide between the road to reconciliation and the road to war. Choose well sir.
2002-10-06 05:11:23 PM  
Guess he won't be mowing the lawn anytime soon.
The neighbor that didn't like it won't be around to appreciate said fact.
Other neighbors take a win/win.
2002-10-06 05:14:47 PM  
I'd like to do the same to my neighbor.
2002-10-06 05:15:29 PM  
i had almost the exact same argument today with my neighbor. except for the pellet gun thing.
2002-10-06 05:33:25 PM  
Where the fark is Horseheads? Is it near Ocala?
2002-10-06 05:44:33 PM  
2002-10-06 05:46:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 06:02:12 PM  
2002-10-06 06:42:53 PM  
As a proud citizen of Horseheads (yes, we really ARE that pitiful), I can assure you all: it's not our fault the town's name is Horsheads.
2002-10-06 07:11:54 PM  
Heck, I'd buy an airgun from 'em, but they don't sell to Canada, dammit :(

2002-10-06 07:33:31 PM  
Hey man, nice shot! What a good shot, man.
2002-10-06 07:54:56 PM  
Ouch! .177 caliber rifles are what's used in airgun competitions.

By his description in the story, the guy isn't just going to jail, he's going BACK to jail... good riddance too.
2002-10-06 09:03:13 PM  
hmm, good shot if it was at distance, plus a moving target.

insert obligatory hypothetical Texas comparison
2002-10-06 11:25:29 PM  
Great! I love Coen Brothers movies. When's that one coming out?

Or was that John Waters?
2002-10-06 11:42:32 PM  
I sympathize, my neighbor mows his lawn every single day, I kid you not. Every day, there is some mower/blower/weedeater/annoying noisemaker going. Granted, he has some sort of landscaping business, and his yard is immaculate, while mine looks like shiat, but get a life.
2002-10-07 12:08:24 AM  
"Attempts to contact the French family for comment were unsuccessful Saturday. No phone number for the family or 109 Ferndale is listed, and an earlier listing is no longer correct. There was a light on at the house Saturday evening, but no one answered the door."

That's handy information for anyone looking to rob the place, if they don't risking the pellet guns and eggs.
2002-10-07 12:26:01 AM  
Franky, I'd rather have a neighbor that mowed his lawn every day that the guy who lives across the street from me who hasn't mowed his lawn in a couple of months. The other day some neighborhood kids went looking for a ball in his front yard and haven't been heard from since.
2002-10-07 07:54:46 AM  
Habsfan - You can have my share of that too...

FredGarvin - I thought maybe you lived on the other side of my neighbor. She also has a landscaping business, but she has her whole crew over there every day with every noisy yard machine known to mankind. Which really sucks when you work the night shift and sleep during the day.

There must be someone else that has a burr up their butts with them besides me... Their yard gets covered with toilet paper (trees, bushes, house - everything!) on a real regular basis.

And no, I'm not doing it.
2002-10-07 06:41:46 PM  
Them derringer bullets are weak. Powerful weak.
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