Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Nobody Messes With The Jesus)   What Would Jesus Do? Would Jesus launch a pre-emptive war?   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

12816 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2002 at 5:40 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

424 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-10-06 01:29:52 AM  
No, but a pile of oil whores running a powerful country with a huge military just might.
2002-10-06 04:36:30 AM  
Jesus wouldn't, but Moses would. See the old testament where the Israelites slaughter the Caananites.
2002-10-06 04:52:34 AM  
Moses slaughtered the kanamits?
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 10:31:42 AM  
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth"

The only thing good I can say about Falwell is he's an artist at misinterpreting Bible passages. But really, I think the big question on everybody's mind is, What Would Bevets Do?
2002-10-06 11:17:38 AM  
Jesus is too busy playing Zelda in Texas with terron to do a damn thing.
2002-10-06 05:44:43 PM  
Jesus would probably get crusified instead of acting with a pre-emptive war.
2002-10-06 05:47:02 PM  
jesus would rain hell fire and brimestone upon the heathens in baghdad.
2002-10-06 05:47:17 PM  
Who has the "Summon Bevets" card??
2002-10-06 05:47:44 PM  
This thread should be interesting.

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth;
I came not to send peace, but a sword."
- Jesus, Matthew 10:34
2002-10-06 05:48:19 PM  

what would Junkyard Dog Do?

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 05:48:21 PM  
Beat me to it, Lloyd. Self sacrifice is always morally superior to self defence.
2002-10-06 05:49:14 PM  
... And remember, what would Brian Boytono do?
2002-10-06 05:49:40 PM  
what the fark?
2002-10-06 05:50:21 PM  
What? You're trying to tell me that Bush isn't like Jesus? Surely you jest.
2002-10-06 05:50:34 PM  
Jesus would take hits from a 3-foot bong.

Jesus would outlaw lite beer.

Jesus would get all the chicks.
2002-10-06 05:51:51 PM  
Jesus was a pacifist Commie. Not that pacifist Commies are bad guys or anything, its just that they don't have the foggiest idea of good governmental policy.
2002-10-06 05:56:40 PM  
god loves me, biatch....
2002-10-06 05:56:42 PM  
flame me baby
2002-10-06 05:57:39 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 05:58:49 PM  
Jesus would make it rain frogs in Baghdad and also the first born son of every family would be toast.

Or is that Moses?
2002-10-06 05:59:33 PM  
Jesus Loves You...everyone else hates you.
2002-10-06 06:02:00 PM  
He would do what I'm going to do. Head for San Antonio next Saturday. Meet a girlfriend, and then drive through Mexico to Mexico City on a six week trip.
2002-10-06 06:02:07 PM  
WWJD? What would Joshua do: "Afterward Joshua smote them, slew them and hanged them on five trees."

God in the Old Testament kicked major ass. In the NT he had a job to do, self sacrafice.
I am not a very spiritual man, but I beleive the governments(President) highest priority is ensure the safty of its people. If they have the slightest hint that a barbarrian like Saddam has or is well on his way to getting nasty weapons.
Let God and history decide who was right.

The rest of the world will follow when we lead... as they always do.
2002-10-06 06:02:27 PM  
This thread's about to explode!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-06 06:03:20 PM  
GOD made it rain frogs and delivered Moses to the promised land....God and Santa Claus...the Easter Bunny didn't come til later...get it right will ya.
2002-10-06 06:03:53 PM  
WWSD: What would Scooby Doo? (get this on a shirt at
2002-10-06 06:04:39 PM  
Jesus was the ultimate liberal and God was the ultimate conservative.
2002-10-06 06:04:58 PM  
Unfortunately Jesus Christ was not a warrior. He is a lover of peace and a beacon of light to happiness. We have been given the most powerful gift of all "free will". It is a power that even GOD can't take away. It give us the power to destroy the world..... and ourselves :(
2002-10-06 06:05:11 PM  
Jesus would not. Oddly enough, if the Koran is any guide, Muhammad would go forth and kick holy ass.
2002-10-06 06:05:42 PM  
"infeirior"...don't you mean "inFuhrer" ?
2002-10-06 06:05:44 PM  
Okay, if Jesus came back to earth in the form of a professional wrestler, which wrestler would he be?

Junkyard Dog?
The Rock?
2002-10-06 06:05:50 PM  
Peter North, LOL! Junkyard Dog, bwahahaha...
...are you aware that you started your carrer in gay porn, Mr. North? I'm assuming you are.
2002-10-06 06:07:07 PM  
wwdd - what would dubya do?
2002-10-06 06:07:34 PM  
Mickymouse: can "god" give us free will yet know our every move? Can't have it both ways.
2002-10-06 06:09:52 PM  
wow, i'm impressed with the honesty of this artical -- it always baffles me just how hypocritical most of the overly vocal "christians" out there are.
2002-10-06 06:11:17 PM  
How can light be both a particle and a wave at the same time?
2002-10-06 06:11:45 PM  
Jesus was a punk.
2002-10-06 06:11:49 PM  
WWJD? IMHO, he wouldn't run for president in the first place.
2002-10-06 06:13:43 PM  
If Jesus were alive today he would be a homeless guy ranting on the streets about how we must give up all our possessions and come worship him. He would immediately be put into a mental institution.
2002-10-06 06:13:49 PM  
God knows all!!! he knows who will be repentive, even though they were a mass murderer up to6 months before they were executed, he knows that the family that was murdered was Jewish and therefore not permitted to enter the gates of heaven. He knew all this before he created his children..thats why Heaven is by invitation only.
2002-10-06 06:14:03 PM  
How can light be both a particle and a wave at the same time?

It's not, it's a wavicle.
2002-10-06 06:14:57 PM  
WWCD - What Would Cthulhu Do?

Eat them up, yum...
2002-10-06 06:15:08 PM  
Tonguedepressor, so say the Calvinists.
2002-10-06 06:15:23 PM  
I smell a long and tiresome thread coming about, ill get the coffee started....
2002-10-06 06:15:29 PM  

Light isn't a particle and a wave at the same time. Light has a wave state and a particle state, but never at the same time. What you're referring to is wave-particle dualism.
2002-10-06 06:16:09 PM  
What a good article. As a quaker, it's always nice to see things like this.
2002-10-06 06:16:28 PM  
WWV - What would Voodoo?
2002-10-06 06:16:34 PM can "god" give us free will yet know our every move? Can't have it both ways.

where is the contradiction? I'm not a X-ian, but I dont see where having free will means god can't still be omniscient.
2002-10-06 06:16:44 PM  
If god knows all, then he knew that I'd be going to hell before I was even born.

So, what's the point?

Wait, maybe god doesn't know all.
2002-10-06 06:17:13 PM  
Actually the Christian bible says God will reserve a place in heaven for Jews (whether they believe in Christ or not). Can't remember the exact passage, but I'll be looking since i have nothing better to do.
Displayed 50 of 424 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.