Was he wearing his penis GOOOOOOOOOOURD?!

*wincing*

TheSilverOne: Guess what rest of the world. You just figured out how to get Americans to adore what we call soccer. If there's one thing we in the States love more than anything, it's guys getting hit in the crotch. If you can figure out a way to make this happen in every single game, America would be hooked. We'd forget all about our football where guys wear plastic cups over their junk to prevent this very glorious thing from happening.

Sorry, even that wouldn't get me to watch that stupid sport. Leave it to the elementary school kids who need a summer activity and to the rest of the world who I guess is too poor to play a sport that requires more equipment than a pair of shorts and one ball.

I know more than you: More proof that soccer players are ballless and dickless wimps.

If the guy had something there he wouldn't have been celebrating his goal, but on the ground clutching his crotch.

As opposed to who? American football players who need 50lbs of armour for 30 seconds of action?

El farkamundo?

EdJofJupiter: CarpeScrotum: Soccer goal? Big whoop. My penis dials the phone and orders pizza.


Pizza ? mine always wants fish tacos.

Oh well, at least there was this.

WoodyHayes: Hehe, I'll always remember when that Euro soccer player bit the penis of another player after a goal was scored.

That's what soccer players do.

Soccer is for people who need to leave their hands free for gratuitous reach-arounds.

CarpeScrotum: EdJofJupiter: CarpeScrotum: Soccer goal? Big whoop. My penis dials the phone and orders pizza.


Pizza ? mine always wants fish tacos.

Fish? No thanks. If it's stankin', I'll be yankin'

Fine, I'll play.
Panky Stussy? Keep in mind, the finest of pastry chefs sometimes needs to know what to do with souring yeast. What I do is simply put on my baker's hat a wee bit tighter.

/Pro Tip - historically, a bunch of ladies I've dated also enjoyed drinking (a lot) of beer. I think this fact and the problem above have a profound relationship.

No, I got it.

/England fan
//Have a bitter taste in my mouth because of that.

jonr: Rugby > Football > American "football"

/tried to watch a whole game once, almost passed out out of boredom...

That is completely understandable.

It's not a game for the faint of heart , the limp of wrist, or the short of attention span.

I'm going to go ahead and reprint the following from my profile, because some of you people are beginning to strain the capacity of the system with these arguments:

You know, one time Drew invited me to visit his bunker in western Tennessee where that main Fark master computer is located. I didn't have anything else to do, and he offered to send the jet for me so I said "What the hell? Why not?"

So I get there and the limo that picks me up at the airport has these special windows that darken so you can't see out. A security precaution. Now that Drew and I are such good buds, they don't bother anymore, but seeing how that was my first time there they were just taking standard precautions.

Drew is kind of showing me around the place and after we stopped for a little while at the Beer Waterfall, we go down these stairs and past this huge steel door, kind of like what they have at Cheyenne Mountain for NORAD, like that. There is this huge underground room with bank after bank of computer servers, and on the far wall is this massive array of electronics. I am impressed, right? So I ask Drew what the huge array is, figuring that all the rest is what runs Fark.

"That, my friend," he said, pausing to take a sip of beer and then wipe off the foam mustache, "that is where we store the Stupid." Just the way he spoke the word stupid, you knew it was capitalized.

"After Fark really got rolling," he continued "I realized just how much Stupid there was out there. I had always suspected, mind you, but now I knew for sure. So I decided to do something about it. Right now, I have a team of scientists and technicians figuring out how to harness all of that Stupid, how to direct all of that Stupid into an energy source. What you are looking at, my friend, has the potential to make the power of the atom pale in significance."

We've had several nice little visits since then. I do a little design and fabrication work for the project now and then and Drew says he'll cut me in on a piece of the action. And with all of that Stupid stockpiled, it wouldn't need to be a very big piece to set me up pretty nice.

So, the next time you get ready to submit a link or click that "Add Comment" button, and you stop and ask yourself if it is too stupid to see the light of day, don't worry about it. Go ahead and click. Drew will thank you for it.