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		Wanted: New man for Anna Nicole (azcentral.com)		97
		More: Scary

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10173 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2002 at 9:23 AM | Favorite | share:

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Reactron		2002-10-05 11:09:22 AM

Really though, I wouldn't mind screwing her... out of about 88 million.

albert71292		2002-10-05 11:11:34 AM

I'd take Joan Rivers before I'd take Anna Nicole Smith...

vominator		2002-10-05 11:24:09 AM

I saw an episode of her show...eatin' donuts and sleeping on the couch all day. and refusing to let her toothless cousin in the house

hilly_12		2002-10-05 11:35:03 AM

I'll put her asss on a treadmill. Then I'll hit it and be rich. Get her back to her old weight and she is hot. Maybe I could convince her to become one of those people who like don't eat and when they do they barf. Then I'll hit it.

hilly_12		2002-10-05 11:38:22 AM

Maybe not right after she pukes though.

madvoodoo		2002-10-05 11:44:26 AM

The only thing that would "hit it"

..Would be about 5 slugs from a shotty.
Then i'd hit all her money

ttehn		2002-10-05 11:46:49 AM

Having her appear on a blind date would be enough to make a guy switch sides.

Squidfartz		2002-10-05 12:04:51 PM

Why is no one mentioning the unspoken lesbian lover she keeps as a sidekick? I mean, why is see looking for a man when she can have her seafood salad lickey-split?

scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel		2002-10-05 12:23:06 PM

I'd hit it, with the Ferrari she paid for.

Merltech		2002-10-05 12:26:51 PM

However the dude is he'll need the following:
Fork lift.
Concrete bed.
Ear plugs.
Ability to go blind on command.

Any thing else?

Technomancer		2002-10-05 12:29:25 PM

Ewwwwie. I'd rather hit a cheese grater.

chunderman		2002-10-05 12:41:39 PM

Scraping, I'm with you on this one...she may be a bit (no wait, a great deal) on the portly side, but she also has large gobs of cash...maybe with some positive reinforcement and a healthy diet of pork ;) ;) she could lose some weight.

Sharksandwich		2002-10-05 12:41:47 PM

I heard she's really interested in royalty. It's obvious because of her love for Burger King.

Anna Nicole's blood type is Hollandaise.

madvoodoo		2002-10-05 12:44:13 PM

Well ok time to get GROSE.
hehehe..I'd hit it in her big fat azz,then slap it on her
chiny chin chin,giggel and then leave in the Ferrari she
got me..;)

/Runs

gudel		2002-10-05 12:49:57 PM

some guy will probably hook up, and make her lose the weight. once the goal is accomplished, he'll end up with some hot and rich anna.

TLBreer		2002-10-05 12:50:31 PM

If she actually gets the $$$ from the Hunt estate, I'd hit it.

Cid		2002-10-05 12:50:42 PM

Danderzai		2002-10-05 12:51:09 PM

Found one! (mods delete previous post.)

The_USAF_sucks		2002-10-05 12:55:09 PM

i'd do her.
then i'd put the pics on a website.. and you sickos would come look.. i know you would!

madvoodoo		2002-10-05 12:55:34 PM

Danderzai----
is the pic big enough for all to see or what?
Gezzz.

No Such Agency		2002-10-05 01:10:54 PM

The_USAF_sucks: yeah, of course we'd come look. But it would bring a new definition to "NSFW" though, where "W" is some word for "the human mind" which starts with W...

Now, I like chubby girls as much as all the rest of you secretly do, but man, ANS is fat, stupid, and utter trailer trash. The perfect person to have $83 mil. Why do we keep paying attention to her? Let her fade into Percodan-popping obscurity.

Danderzai		2002-10-05 01:20:14 PM

Madvoodoo: Can u read? Check my 2nd post. It wasnt me who made it that big, whino.

vetbridge		2002-10-05 01:24:15 PM

Wanted: New man for Anna Nicole

Sounds like a fair trade if they throw in a case of beer or something.

madvoodoo		2002-10-05 01:48:51 PM

Danderzai--
Damn man i was only playen omg take a pill,lol

madvoodoo		2002-10-05 01:50:55 PM

TLBreer---
watch out he will jump on you to..tisk tisk.
lol,realy i was only playen Danderzai,It's FARK
remember?

Big Al		2002-10-05 02:29:05 PM

id put her on a diet and her excercise would be making her run behind my ferrari i bought with her money, with britney spears in the front seat!

jasonbondshow		2002-10-05 02:54:14 PM

I'd hit it after getting some lypo for her and siphoning some of her cash for me. Then I'd cheat on her with Victoria Silverstedt!

hilly_12		2002-10-05 02:57:37 PM

I hate to say it ... but. If you go to fark.com, you probably couldn't even get Anna. It sucks to break it to everybody.

TheOmni		2002-10-05 03:02:32 PM

Well, yes, Hilly. But that's only cause she's rich and famous and she can buy someone better.

TheOmni		2002-10-05 03:04:29 PM

Also, I would hit it, but only in 1985.

who-killed-john-lennon		2002-10-05 03:18:14 PM

not with a ten foot clown pole

CorpusDelicti		2002-10-05 03:36:18 PM

"High. Im ana nikole smith an i am dum az dirt. that is ok thow, becuz i like ditr. it is under evrywon an we need it to walk."

darknerd		2002-10-05 04:03:22 PM

Great posts, everyone! Haw haw haw!

I was watching her show the other night for the first time. Her white trash cousin showed up from Texas, and gawddam, that woman was tru-u-u-u-ue trash!

No teeth, most likely from run-off from all the coke she snorted dissolving them into brown paste.

Showing off some roadside trinket with the birthstones of all five of her "babies" - like she deserves to breed!

Oh, shiat, and then before they dropped her off at her hovel - err, hotel, she asked to borrow five bucks - I would have asked for a grand or ten!

In other words, a walking, talking Darwin Award waiting to happen.

As far as Ms Smith herself, I'd probably date her, but only for the MONEY! And if she'd want sex, she'd have to have hanging on the walls a bunch of pics of herself before she became a blonde mastadon so I could have something to look at.

darknerd		2002-10-05 04:07:50 PM

Oh yeah, and I'd give 'er a Dirty Sanchez, too.

ShakeMachine		2002-10-05 04:20:31 PM

Anne Nicole? I'd rather hit my own MOTHER.

davemak		2002-10-05 04:28:04 PM

Roseanne- Old and busted.

Anna Nicole Smith- New fatness.

George_Hussein		2002-10-05 07:37:35 PM

Salads:

wil		2002-10-05 08:45:28 PM

wil		2002-10-05 08:46:11 PM

Arrgh.

Now with correct img linking:

e-man		2002-10-05 09:02:40 PM

Jeez Wil, Keiko's got enough problems without you comparing her to that, um, thing.

In other news, that dorsal fin represents the state of my phallus when thinking of her.

partygurlgigi		2002-10-05 09:18:13 PM

someone should turn her on to speed- she can afford it

technicolor-misfit		2002-10-05 10:34:08 PM

Aww Wil,

I would think you of all people would be sympathetic to her plight...

Surely you know what it's like to encounter public derision because you're in the limelight.

So she's overweight, and chronically doped up, and a gold-digger, and seemingly not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and kind of "white-trash-y," and without any visible talent other than donut inhalation and formerly impressive cleavage.

Disregarding these little "quirks," I'm sure she's an absolutely wonderful person who is completely deserving of international fame and an 80+ million dollar fortune.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.(tsk, tsk, picking on poor "little" Anna like that...)

b_damage		2002-10-06 12:05:26 AM

I wonder where the mustard guy is when ya need him? He'd probably hit it.

gjbourke		2002-10-06 12:10:42 AM

Crikey mate,
Too late Keiko's obviously already seen her show. How else do you explain his flaccid dorsal fin?

Truthslayer		2002-10-06 12:33:11 AM

As the Truthslayer, I will take one for the team and hit it. 'Tis a far better thing I do for my fellow farkers. I do have a few requests before I pass on:

I wish for a day of Fark with nothing but good Boobies links.

I wish common sense and sanity would be standard in the world.

I wish for a pic of FLA_Chickie,WickedWanda, and Candypants along with any other hot farkettes so as to make my last days happy.

I want to play GTA:VC at least once.
I want to thank Drew for his humanitarian website.

but first,
I need a Jack Daniels IV STAT, a will, and someone to slap me silly for even thinking such a thing. Sorry, I'll pass. I got it...how about I go look for landmines? Hey, losing a limb is much better than rolling her in flour and aiming for the wet spot...she might prefer I then dip her in a deep fat fryer to a crispy golden brown.

Sadly, she minds me of the Slappy the Squirrel episode with Siskel and Ebert and how the popcorn was buttered...

Beppo		2002-10-06 05:01:38 AM

I have to say I'm against you all on this one: I'd hit the shiat out of it at least three times a day (not including weekends). i guess it's just me, but I've got a thing for drugged-out biatches who used to be hot, but have since let themselves go. I think it's like having a preference for cold leftovers on a paper plate in the morning, over an elaborate dinner the night before.
Admit it: when Mariah Carey was in the looney bin, didn't she just somehow become that much more appealing?

phoxxy		2002-10-06 02:52:13 PM

Beppo. You are a sick fark.

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