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(wzzm13.com)   Woman hits bar, misses deer, hits house, misses baby. Future plans include hitting jail, missing her family, hitting her cellmate, missing freedom   (wzzm13.com) divider line 44
    More: Asinine  
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5735 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2007 at 1:15 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2007-11-07 01:16:44 PM
+1 smitty
 
2007-11-07 01:18:16 PM
Mom?
 
2007-11-07 01:18:53 PM
what the hell is up with the reporter chick's hair? that wasn't even cool in the 80's.
 
2007-11-07 01:18:55 PM
Talk about lucky,cribs are expensive these days.
 
2007-11-07 01:19:43 PM
Awesome -- headline of the year candidate?
 
2007-11-07 01:19:49 PM
I can has new keyboard?
 
2007-11-07 01:20:39 PM
I'd hit it.
 
2007-11-07 01:20:48 PM
nice one, submitter. Good play on a story they're harping on out here. What is it with babies getting house debris thrown on them lately in Michigan? (flying tornado baby, car accident baby...)
 
2007-11-07 01:21:03 PM
TA DA
 
2007-11-07 01:22:04 PM
Deerfecta in play.
 
2007-11-07 01:23:17 PM
Well done subby.

+1
 
2007-11-07 01:23:32 PM
Reason number 173 you do NOT swerve when fuzzy_animal_01 runs in front of your moving vehicle.
 
2007-11-07 01:23:53 PM
Cop: How'd she get the black eyes, and broken ribs?

Dad: Must've happened in the crash....can I get you a donut?
 
2007-11-07 01:25:15 PM
I don't know, submitter, that headline was hit and miss.
 
2007-11-07 01:25:25 PM
Her cellmate will hit her first.
 
2007-11-07 01:26:41 PM
"I swear to god officer the beer...uh...deer made me do it.
 
2007-11-07 01:27:58 PM
Subby +1

That was smooth.
 
2007-11-07 01:28:38 PM
Investigators believe alcohol was involved. The crash remains under investigation.

and your first clue was?
 
2007-11-07 01:29:28 PM
this is why 1) if you're an alcoholic you live within walking distance of a source of alcohol. 2) Houses should have forcefields!
 
2007-11-07 01:31:23 PM
What the shiat? Why won't someone crash into my house?! I need the insurance money!
 
2007-11-07 01:31:45 PM
Well done subby, well done indeed

/+1
 
2007-11-07 01:34:38 PM
Well, sheesh, you can't expect her to bat a thousand every time, folks.

/Nicely done, submitter. +1
 
2007-11-07 01:34:44 PM
Good headline, boring story.
 
2007-11-07 01:36:03 PM
Ass Man: what the hell is up with the reporter chick's hair? that wasn't even cool in the 80's.

Hey, don't make fun of Lauren Stanton's do.
 
2007-11-07 01:39:36 PM
life is full of hit & miss
 
2007-11-07 01:43:17 PM
Ass Man: what the hell is up with the reporter chick's hair? that wasn't even cool in the 80's.

Reminds me of David Bowie's character in Labyrinth.
 
2007-11-07 01:43:25 PM
Headline of the day so far.

+1
 
2007-11-07 01:46:38 PM
img207.imageshack.us

/woman driver, too
 
2007-11-07 01:47:19 PM
westbound pachyderm: What the shiat? Why won't someone crash into my house?! I need the insurance money!

Knowing the insurance companies, they'd rule it to be your fault.
 
2007-11-07 01:47:21 PM
Investigators believe alcohol was involved.

Okay, what the fark does this mean, anyway? Was she drinking? what was her BAC? Was the deer intoxicated? Was there an open bottle in the car? In the house? Was there an unopened airplane bottle of gin packed in the chick's trunk?

I have an unopened, small bottle of tequila in my car right now. If I crash on the way home, will they say "alcohol was involved?"

How come it's never "stupidity was involved?"
 
2007-11-07 01:49:59 PM
There are some really great headlines this week. +1.
 
2007-11-07 01:55:34 PM
The Aristocrats!
/obligatory
//cant believe no one said it yet
 
2007-11-07 01:55:48 PM
Raven Darke: westbound pachyderm: What the shiat? Why won't someone crash into my house?! I need the insurance money!

Knowing the insurance companies, they'd rule it to be your fault.


My house shouldn't have been there in the first place, I guess.
/Sulk
 
2007-11-07 02:10:43 PM
bekibug: Reminds me of David Bowie's character in Labyrinth.

good call. I rest my case.
 
2007-11-07 02:11:21 PM
Hey lets give the lady some credit, I am sure if she knew the baby was there should have had done a better job in trying to hit it.
 
2007-11-07 02:21:25 PM
Headline full of win.
 
2007-11-07 02:35:46 PM
Ass Man: what the hell is up with the reporter chick's hair? that wasn't even cool in the 80's.

I think she looks pretty good. Like the driver in the report, I'd swerve and hit it.
 
2007-11-07 02:49:48 PM
tuna fingers: I'd hit it.

That goes without saying...
 
2007-11-07 03:22:31 PM
Englebert Slaptyback: I don't know, submitter, that headline was hit and miss.

*GROAN*

+1 anyway
 
2007-11-07 04:52:57 PM
Subby,

My roommate and I laughed at your amazing headline for about 2 minutes. +1
 
2007-11-07 05:33:01 PM
Not surprised that it's a dark SUV. The correlation between bad drivers and dark SUVs is phenomenal.
 
2007-11-07 06:23:10 PM
Subby here, keyboards are on the way to all who are owed them, but I saw the lady at the post office set them down right behind several crates of Guinness towels so don't hold your breath. Thanks for all the compliments, and special credit to Englebert Slaptyback for picking up where the headline left off.
 
2007-11-07 06:24:07 PM
Witty, Subby.
+2 for you!
 
2007-11-08 10:14:20 PM
+1 for subby, but my head hurts
 
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