FARK.com: (3178572) So, the wife was all like "Fork you," and the husband was like "you did not fork me," but the prosecutor was all up in "No, FORK YOU," but the judge said "Oh no you didn't"

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(Some Forker)		So, the wife was all like "Fork you," and the husband was like "you did not fork me," but the prosecutor was all up in "No, FORK YOU," but the judge said "Oh no you didn't" (blog.mlive.com)		77
		More: Amusing

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Zulgaines		2007-11-02 03:29:32 PM

Treygreen13		2007-11-02 03:29:47 PM

Fork this article.

geosprint		2007-11-02 03:29:56 PM

if it was a dude who did the forkin'.......

Klivian		2007-11-02 03:30:04 PM

Reminds me of the story of a fatty in a Chicago restaurant that got stuck in the double doors that lead to the bathroom, and people started stabbing her in the ass with forks to try and get her to get out of the way

NoNamesLeft		2007-11-02 03:30:18 PM

: (

Hack Patooey		2007-11-02 03:31:02 PM

So, was he done? Article doesn't say.

Walker		2007-11-02 03:31:46 PM

Does she have any kids? Because then she'd be a motherforker.

/so sorry

Uchiha_Cycliste		2007-11-02 03:32:09 PM

subby: I do believe is di'int not din't.
\just saying

holsterfungal		2007-11-02 03:33:04 PM

The hero of Canton / The man they call...

jayneday.com

...Jayne!

Cethen		2007-11-02 03:33:33 PM

Walker: Does she have any kids? Because then she'd be a motherforker.

/so sorry

Don't apologize for awesomeness. Some men are born to awesomeness, others have it thrust upon them.

///Thrusting slashies.

toejam		2007-11-02 03:34:15 PM

I vaguely remember some Kids in the Hall sketch where someone gets a fork in the hand... something about... bah... too many brain cells gone.

denmmurray		2007-11-02 03:34:33 PM

Why didn't they just fork and make up?

lerxst2112		2007-11-02 03:35:02 PM

Wow those people sound like real iceholes and bastitches

Pooter		2007-11-02 03:35:27 PM

Compulsive Liar 1986		2007-11-02 03:35:46 PM

forkrying out loud.

DROxINxTHExWIND		2007-11-02 03:37:02 PM

The judge ordered her to pay $350 in fines.

If it wasn't for your dumb ass we wouldn't have to spend the vacation fund to keep you out of jail. I guess instead of spending a week at Wally World I'll be sitting in your farking mother's living room picking cat hairs out of my clothes AGAIN this summer.

Round 2.

Ding!

Daffydil		2007-11-02 03:37:21 PM

I don't give a fork

Rectum damn near killed em		2007-11-02 03:37:33 PM

WTFork?

Gravitholus		2007-11-02 03:37:53 PM

Eat my pork, feel my fork!

Th3Guy		2007-11-02 03:38:06 PM

Compulsive Liar 1986: forkrying out loud.

All the the way to the bank!!!!!

/yours was the only one that made me lol

DROxINxTHExWIND		2007-11-02 03:38:13 PM

Klivian: Reminds me of the story of a fatty in a Chicago restaurant that got stuck in the double doors that lead to the bathroom, and people started stabbing her in the ass with forks to try and get her to get out of the way
=================================================

Stay classy, Chi-town

Goldstein		2007-11-02 03:38:59 PM

White meat, dark meat. All will be carved.

Arxane		2007-11-02 03:39:47 PM

Excuse me, could you hand me my fork 'n knife?

theknuckler_33		2007-11-02 03:41:01 PM

I guess he was a bad breaker upper?

/obscure?
//don't think so

Rusty McSukit		2007-11-02 03:41:23 PM

spoons

Aleph Nought		2007-11-02 03:41:54 PM

"Canton Township Police and the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office had pressed a felonious assault case against Kelly Campbell-Baumgartner, despite her husband's objections."

Maybe the dude was just looking for a good forking.

(Pooter rocks)

RaumVogel		2007-11-02 03:42:02 PM

If they were in Canton,wouldn't it be proper to use chopsticks?

Hack Patooey		2007-11-02 03:42:23 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: The judge ordered her to pay $350 in fines.

$350 in tines?

MasterThief		2007-11-02 03:43:11 PM

Fork fork fork!

Compulsive Liar 1986		2007-11-02 03:44:53 PM

Th3Guy: Compulsive Liar 1986: forkrying out loud.

All the the way to the bank!!!!!

/yours was the only one that made me lol

thanks forkcaring! ;>

brap		2007-11-02 03:46:04 PM

If the punishment fits the crime she will get some serious tine.

Daffydil		2007-11-02 03:46:48 PM

go fork yourselves..

/wait, do we only get to do this once in this thread?

SockMonkeyHolocaust		2007-11-02 03:47:02 PM

Chocolate Rain been stabbed in the face by the white man again

Shakespeare's Monkey		2007-11-02 03:48:01 PM

William Baumgartner earlier denied he had been stabbed in the April incident and said he had no interest in charges against his wife.

He'll say she didn't get all stabby on him in exchange for a beej; that's what the smart money says.

xen0blue		2007-11-02 03:49:07 PM

Can't we all just...spoon?

chewy7097		2007-11-02 03:52:11 PM

Her name is Kelly Campbell-Baumgartner. I'm sorry, but if they are married, she had an opportunity EITHER WAY to get rid of "Baumgartner." She must be a real dumb-fork...

Alleyoop		2007-11-02 03:57:38 PM

/so sorry

The Voice of Doom		2007-11-02 03:57:42 PM

Daffydil
go fork yourselves..

/wait, do we only get to do this once in this thread?

Lets see:

ulimit -u

Fishflinger		2007-11-02 03:57:55 PM

I was forked once. Had for red puncture marks on my belly for a week or so.

I've never let my sister live it down, seeing as she thought she had a spoon.

burncheese		2007-11-02 04:00:10 PM

The next Fork cliche!!!

Uchiha_Cycliste: subby: I do believe is di'int not din't.
\just saying

I always thought it was di'nt. But really it should be di'n't.

/awesome headline

bearloverhr		2007-11-02 04:00:55 PM

/Wanted for getting forked

Jument		2007-11-02 04:01:05 PM

"Fork attack" is a phrase you just don't hear often enough.

TherajwithSubtitles		2007-11-02 04:01:59 PM

Goldstein: White meat, dark meat. All will be carved.

HAH!!!

And my addition to this is merely, "Oh, SNAP!"

jdetweiler		2007-11-02 04:02:49 PM

fishflinger

spooning with your sister...sicko...

beer4breakfast		2007-11-02 04:04:48 PM

pid = fork();
if (pid)
while(1)
{
puts("Fork you!");
sleep(1);
}
else
while(1)
{
puts("No! Fork you!")
sleep(1);
}

mikaloyd		2007-11-02 04:06:30 PM

The judge ordered her to pay $350 in fines.

I wonder if she has a job, or if the stabbed guy will have to pay this fine too?

Bugs_Bunny_Practiced_Psychological_Warfare		2007-11-02 04:06:59 PM

Hack Patooey: So, was he done? Article doesn't say.

She only did it once, so he probably was.

Evenbiggerknickers		2007-11-02 04:07:09 PM

toejam: I vaguely remember some Kids in the Hall sketch where someone gets a fork in the hand... something about... bah... too many brain cells gone.

...quick, I'm injured please call a...oh, what's the word...the thing that drives, with sirens and comes to give you help..?

an ambulance?

No...that's not it...

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2007-11-02 04:09:37 PM

Maybe his name is Val, and she was celebrating Val-in-tines Day.

Daffydil		2007-11-02 04:10:18 PM

The Voice of Doom-ulimit -u

You nailed that one...

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