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(Boston Globe)   Not News: Lawyer arrested for sexual assault. News: He's already facing charges in two other cases. Fark: He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"   (boston.com) divider line 52
    More: Florida  
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12127 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2007 at 6:25 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-10-24 03:22:31 PM  
Lawyer in custody after being accused of 3d sex assault

I do all of my sexual assaulting in the fourth dimension. It makes it much easier to hide afterwards.
 
2007-10-24 04:11:24 PM  
"He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

Nice guys can't even finish last, cause they don't even get to start.

/man am I feeling whiney today
 
2007-10-24 06:27:12 PM  
Giggidy.
 
2007-10-24 06:27:23 PM  
I wonder if the title "Most Eligible Bachelor" extends to prison.
 
2007-10-24 06:27:31 PM  
Does he live in Atlanta...
*giggles
 
2007-10-24 06:29:10 PM  
The guys a rapist. "Sexual assault" is some crap pc term to soften the severity of his crimes.
 
2007-10-24 06:29:21 PM  
Does this mean there's an opening on the list? Where do I send my application?
 
2007-10-24 06:30:05 PM  
Is he cute? Is he brown? Let him in!!

obscure?
 
2007-10-24 06:30:36 PM  
A lawyer? Say it ain't so...

/life style change for him
//'most eligible anus' status in effect.
 
2007-10-24 06:31:58 PM  
"He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"


See ladies? I told you that you'll never do better than me. Accept your fate.
 
2007-10-24 06:32:21 PM  
tomWright: See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

That's so true. That's why they invented pron for the nice guys.
 
2007-10-24 06:32:26 PM  
I bet it's easy to score with a guy who won't take no for an answer.
 
dam
2007-10-24 06:32:50 PM  
Oh he sounds so dreamy. Good call, People Magazine.
 
2007-10-24 06:33:27 PM  
Well, when you're an eligible bachelor for that long, sometimes you have to just get out and make things happen!


/I'd like a blue hand-basket, please.
 
2007-10-24 06:33:48 PM  
Shut up mars. Next you'll be criticizing noted Chronic Life Inhibitors like Dahmer, Manson and Bundy.
 
2007-10-24 06:39:03 PM  
Gary Zerola, 36

I don't think anything else needs to be said here.
 
2007-10-24 06:40:58 PM  
In other news: People under 50 are still named Gary!!
 
2007-10-24 06:41:22 PM  
MattyBlast: Well, when you're an eligible bachelor for that long, sometimes you have to just get out and make things happen!
/I'd like a blue hand-basket, please.


LOL! I like the way you think! :)
 
2007-10-24 06:43:07 PM  
tomWright
See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

How is People Magazine's most anything list indicative of reality? Are their top 50 beautiful people truly the 50 most beautiful people in the world?

Most "bachelor" lists in stupid magazines like this comprise of just four things- he doesn't look like a syphilitic hyena, he is single, he has a lot of money and he is available for a photo shoot. Beyond that, they don't see anything.

If I am in anyway representative of my gender, except for singlehood which is a non-negotiable- none of the above contribute in any way towards what makes a guy worth dating. Do they see if he has a sense of humor, if he is nice, does he know what "Mass Effect" is, is he affectionate and kind...those important things get brushed under the carpet in stupid things like this.

People's Magazine's bachelor list has all the depth of a Playboy photospread with none of the honesty.

/Rank over. My apologies.
 
2007-10-24 06:47:22 PM  
does he have a Smoking Gun photo?
 
2007-10-24 06:55:21 PM  
tomwright:See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

And you deduced this how? The women's accusations of rape? I'm confused...

Women want men who are men, period. They do not want whiny man-girls who blame the lack of scoring on being "too nice". And while I am up on my soapbox--you cannot tell me that there hasn't been some woman out there who wanted you and you turned her down for some reason or another. Maybe that she was too nice, or too flat, or too whatever it is you cull the herd with.

/not buying it!
//and if you were joking, well..nothing to see here.
 
2007-10-24 06:56:56 PM  
"I'd like to help kids who are starting down the wrong path," Zerola told the Globe in 1999. "If they are doing stupid things, it's just they haven't learned there are severe consequences."

He's about to learn that lesson himself. Probably end up with a wide stance.
 
2007-10-24 06:57:15 PM  
Hal B. Sure: Lawyer in custody after being accused of 3d sex assault

I do all of my sexual assaulting in the fourth dimension. It makes it much easier to hide afterwards.


Damnit. I came here to make fun of the "3d" thing.

/I guess they wanted him to do his sexual assaults in an early 90's NES game.
//Yours was better.
 
2007-10-24 06:58:43 PM  
Cup_O_Jo: Does he live in Atlanta...
*giggles


Thank you for keeping the ghost of John Fitzgerald Page alive.
 
2007-10-24 07:04:11 PM  
tomWright: "He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.


LOL. You're exactly like my chick friends who sit around whining about how "guys only want a girl who's tall" "guys only like big boobs" "guys just like anorexic girls!"

Maybe women don't like you because you whine like a little girl. Not attractive. You should really give men a try. ;-) It's amazing if you're looking for a quick hookup.
 
2007-10-24 07:07:25 PM  
wow a 3d assault that is like real life not just like those paper 2d assaults you read about all the time.
 
2007-10-24 07:12:25 PM  
We do things right in Texas by the ways we think. Sometimes.


"If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing then-President George Bush's policies.


"Weather is a lot like rape. You can't do anything about it so you might as well sit back and enjoy it."
Clayton Wheat Williams, Jr., unsuccessful Republican gubernatorial nominee in 1990 against Democrat Ann Richards
 
2007-10-24 07:12:43 PM  
tomWright: "He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.


Your troll-fu is strong. You got half the girls in the thread.

OTOH, I'm a fluffy kitten of a man myself, but I got my current girlfriend by beating the crap out of a guy that wouldn't stop hitting-on/harrassing her. Go figure.
 
2007-10-24 07:13:25 PM  
STOP ALL sexual assault kill all Lawyers.
/ aleast it's a start
 
2007-10-24 07:21:24 PM  
Pic of said douchebag:

prettyboys.blogspot.com
 
2007-10-24 07:37:10 PM  
tomWright:

Nice guys can't even finish last, cause they don't even get to start.


Dude, It's "Nice guys finish last and bad girls like it that way."

/Rapists should be shot.
 
2007-10-24 07:43:51 PM  
We've got at least 7 more dimensions of snark in a 10d model, guys. Let's get cracking!
 
2007-10-24 07:55:32 PM  
Obviously the guy is guilty until proven innocent because there can't be more than 3 women in the world who will lied and make up shiats to get a crack at a rich guy fortune.
 
2007-10-24 07:58:43 PM  
He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

This guy's a pro. I was Time Magazine's Person of the Year and I didn't even score half as much surprise buttseks.
 
2007-10-24 08:08:32 PM  
If he is convicted, he will be eligible for parole in about 20 years.
 
2007-10-24 08:21:33 PM  
tomWright: "He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

Nice guys can't even finish last, cause they don't even get to start.

/man am I feeling whiney today


Sad, but true...
/nice guy,lost virginity finally at the age of 20
//never got as much action when I was on the 'bad boy' period...
/// good times...
////not bitter or anything...
 
2007-10-24 08:58:43 PM  
youwish

Women want men who are men, period

You may want to qualify that statement ;)

/Know a lot of women who prefer women.
 
2007-10-24 09:07:54 PM  
youwish: tomwright:See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

And you deduced this how? The women's accusations of rape? I'm confused...

Women want men who are men. rich and attractive.



FTFY, cut the crap.
 
2007-10-24 09:13:57 PM  
Oh right, women like this guy SOOOOO much they're trying to woo him with all these sexual assault charges.
 
2007-10-24 09:22:11 PM  
Must've been a slow year for eligible bachelors...

Link (new window)
 
2007-10-24 10:02:05 PM  
jonr: tomWright:
/nice guy,lost virginity finally at the age of 20
//never got as much action when I was on the 'bad boy' period...
/// good times...
////not bitter or anything...


From bad boy to nice boy and then you got laid? BULL!! (in the bad boy part)

It's bad, but being on the jerk side of the spectrum is a better chance to get some action.
 
2007-10-24 10:28:17 PM  
importedbeer - If I am in anyway representative of my gender, except for singlehood which is a non-negotiable- none of the above contribute in any way towards what makes a guy worth dating. Do they see if he has a sense of humor, if he is nice, does he know what "Mass Effect" is, is he affectionate and kind...those important things get brushed under the carpet in stupid things like this.

I think you should add "Is he not a serial rapist?" to your list.
 
2007-10-24 10:30:32 PM  
Why does this get a Florida tag? The guy's from Mass, ferchrissake. Just 'cause he did his rapin' in Miami don't mean that Florida should take the hit for this one...

/Just sayin'
//we got enough without this one too
 
2007-10-24 10:31:09 PM  
tomWright: "He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

Nice guys can't even finish last, cause they don't even get to start.

/man am I feeling whiney today


Do women want to score with attractive and successful guys that have money, at least a bit of prestige and some class?

Yes.

Can women be duped into believing a total scumbag is the person described above.

Yes.

To be fair, its not fair to blame women for falling for this. Just like you can't blame a guy for going back to some insanely hot broad that jerks him around to get his dick wet.

Its human nature.
 
2007-10-24 10:43:58 PM  
EmbodiedHate - To be fair, its not fair to blame women for falling for this. Just like you can't blame a guy for going back to some insanely hot broad that jerks him around to get his dick wet.
Its human nature.


I can understand that. And there is a trade off you are making in order to avoid a dry dick.

But what I don't get are the seemingly large numbers of super hot girls who seem to have at least average intelligence otherwise, and have good jobs that they use to support unattractive guys with nothing going for them. And the more out of a league these guys are, the worse they seem to treat their women, the more they seem desperate to keep the losers.

You never see the opposite of that. You don't see any male CEOs giving all their money to a 200lb woman that cheats on him openly and slaps him around.

/ Ladder Theory should be taught in SOC 101.
// I was always the guy that other every girl said any other girl but them would be lucky to have.
/// Engaged now. Never have to deal with that again.
 
2007-10-24 11:24:05 PM  
tomWright: "He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors"

See. The bastards are the ones women always want.

Nice guys can't even finish last, cause they don't even get to start.

/man am I feeling whiney today


I agree. Granted, I've been feeling whiney since October 9. I don't think that's healthy.
 
2007-10-25 12:45:38 AM  
Do rapists follow a religion of Rapism? Shouldn't it be raper?
 
2007-10-25 02:15:00 AM  
EmbodiedHate

Do women want to score with attractive and successful guys that have money, at least a bit of prestige and some class?

Yes.


Who is this woman of which you speak? I am a woman, I have lived my life among women...I have never encountered a creature such as this.
 
2007-10-25 03:08:03 AM  
boomerzz: Is he cute? Is he brown? Let him in!!

obscure?


I'm gonna make Gretzky bleed.
 
2007-10-25 08:55:35 AM  
This article is proof that all the retards that are in Florida came from other states. Go back north, losers.
 
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