If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News.com.au)   Drunk tourist dives onto crocodile   (news.com.au) divider line 49
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

9847 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Oct 2007 at 4:32 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2007-10-19 12:15:16 AM
Should've just stood there holding hands and skippin' stones.
Poor Susie.
 
2007-10-19 12:18:52 AM
megain.smugmug.com
 
2007-10-19 12:41:09 AM
oh, and...

strangeguitar: Should've just stood there holding hands and skippin' skimming stones.

ftfy
 
2007-10-19 12:58:10 AM
slept for seven hours before seeking medical help.

His injuries were so bad that when he finally did make it to hospital, he was holding a blanket to his face to stop the bleeding, the newspaper said.


So he was bleeding for 7 hours? Or did waking up and peeling his face off of whatever he passed out on start the bleeding again?
 
2007-10-19 01:50:57 AM
Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are

Someone should let this drunk tourist know.
 
2007-10-19 04:38:26 AM
Your kidding right?
I submitted this (new window)and it was rejected.
 
2007-10-19 04:39:54 AM
Being Eaten by a Crocodile Competition?

//Python reference for EVERYTHING
 
2007-10-19 04:40:40 AM
Funny on SO many levels.

Cow Bay eh... I opened the bowling for them in a game on my travels around the Far North over the winter :P I also went camping in some areas around there. I was looking for a place to camp, and I saw some tracks... And they weren't feral pig tracks... I moved.
 
2007-10-19 04:51:23 AM
Ha! Cow Bay, just up the road from here. I can just imagine the stories when he gets home... no doubt they'll include the words "half a slab of tinnies" and "bloody big bastard"
 
2007-10-19 05:00:08 AM
i24.tinypic.com
Just missed him
 
2007-10-19 05:01:18 AM
crikey
 
2007-10-19 05:07:12 AM
This story just begs for a crikey tag.
 
2007-10-19 05:15:06 AM
Musta been a fresh water croc.
This is why QLDers hate tourists. They don't appreciate how dangerous it is, and with all the poisonous and toothy things we have in the water and on the land they end up getting hurt and a beach gets shut down.
 
2007-10-19 05:19:49 AM
Ken_B

Musta been a fresh water croc.

Steve Irwin?
 
2007-10-19 05:26:07 AM
Hey, anyone got a band-aid???
 
2007-10-19 05:48:03 AM
I wouldn't Wallaby be him!!
 
2007-10-19 05:49:46 AM
I wouldn't Wallaby be him!!


/Bloody damnit.
//Streuth
 
2007-10-19 06:20:39 AM
Or, as Auzies call it, a bath.
 
2007-10-19 06:55:10 AM
DaCricket: slept for seven hours before seeking medical help.

His injuries were so bad that when he finally did make it to hospital, he was holding a blanket to his face to stop the bleeding, the newspaper said.

So he was bleeding for 7 hours? Or did waking up and peeling his face off of whatever he passed out on start the bleeding again?


He could have been steadily bleeding for that length of time. It's pretty bizarre to see when it happens (too early in the morning to describe).
 
2007-10-19 07:02:06 AM
Damn, I kept reading this headling as "drives" onto crocodile, so I didn't give it much thought. Figured it was a tourist in Florida, however they only have Alligators. No way in hell I'd go camping or jumping into any stream in Australia, or Florida, or any other stream for that matter. Water creatures are malicious. And then there's the chance of necrotizing fasciitis anyways. I doubt I could ever drink enough to sleep off a crocodile bite to the face though. Must've coagulated while he was sleeping to an extent though, otherwise he would've died in his sleep, what with the severe facial wounds and the fact that alcohol greatly reduces your ability to clot wounds.
 
2007-10-19 07:36:18 AM
Crocs 25 Tourists 00
 
2007-10-19 07:53:20 AM
CRIKEY!!
 
2007-10-19 07:54:18 AM
Only 12 beers? That deserves a 'sad' sub-tag.
 
2007-10-19 08:12:21 AM
I always thought beer was supposed to make you bullet proof, not croc proof.
 
2007-10-19 08:17:09 AM
A TOURIST who had drunk 12 cans of beers before being attacked by a crocodile while swimming in a Queensland river fell asleep at his campsite before going to hospital for treatment.

I's cans has's somes mores beers's ?

/head wounds bleed a lot.
//dumbass
 
2007-10-19 08:53:45 AM
He was a tail gator. He got what he deserved.
 
2007-10-19 09:23:09 AM
Ta-da!
 
2007-10-19 09:29:09 AM
From TFA: . . . although attacks on humans are rare, they are potentially very dangerous

I love when craptastic journalists throw in neat sounding words that make no sense. An attack on a human is dangerous. Sometimes they only know part of the story and need to throw a disclaimer in the article but they get too used to it and put thema ll over the goddamn place. Other abused words: allegedly, seems, appears, believed, etc.
 
2007-10-19 09:36:12 AM
Headline: "Drunk tourist dives onto crocodile"

{umm, me thinks typo, clicks on link. Nope, right on}
 
2007-10-19 09:38:45 AM
Russ1642: From TFA: . . . although attacks on humans are rare, they are potentially very dangerous

I love when craptastic journalists throw in neat sounding words that make no sense. An attack on a human is dangerous. Sometimes they only know part of the story and need to throw a disclaimer in the article but they get too used to it and put thema ll over the goddamn place. Other abused words: allegedly, seems, appears, believed, etc.


dude, relax. those are all everyday words. wtf got your panties in a bunch this morning? it's Friday.
 
2007-10-19 09:47:46 AM
dc-kid: dude, relax. those are all everyday words. wtf got your panties in a bunch this morning? it's Friday.

Ok. Trying to calm down . . .
I'm not having a cow (really) but I've been noticing this kind of thing since a couple months ago. There was a tornado that touched down southwest of Edmonton. Pilots had seen it and called in the report. People on the ground had sent pictures to the news guys. The next morning I'm watching the news on TV and they show the pictures and have witnesses telling their stories, blah blah, and all the time they keep saying it's an unconfirmed report! You've got the farking picture up on the screen! It's only one word I know but it makes them look like they've got their heads way up their asses.

Anyway, I promise to remain calm for the rest of the day.
 
2007-10-19 09:51:47 AM
I always go swimming in carnivore-infested waters after a 12 pack, however I'm more of a pirhana diver than a croc diver since it tickles more. Especially when they nibble on my 'nads.
 
2007-10-19 10:08:24 AM
This made the news?....Seriously who hasn't been in this situation before?

After all what's the point in drinking beer if you aren't planning on wrestling a croc.
 
2007-10-19 10:30:55 AM
for some reason i keep reading the headline as

"Drunk tourist dives into crocodile."

and I crack up every time.
 
2007-10-19 10:32:57 AM
Every time I think about a vacation to Australia I remember that something there is more than likely to bite, sting, poison or eat me and end in my horribly painful death.

/and then there are the animals to worry about
 
2007-10-19 10:37:13 AM
Boshans for some reason i keep reading the headline as

"Drunk tourist dives into crocodile."

and I crack up every time.


I read it as "Drunk tourist drives into crocodile", and was quite concerned for the crocodile.

/Was also wondering if there was a Florida tag missing until I read TFA
 
2007-10-19 10:38:55 AM
hilarity ensued after i read that he slept 7 hours before going to the hospital.
 
2007-10-19 10:39:01 AM
Broadside: Every time I think about a vacation to Australia I remember that something there is more than likely to bite, sting, poison or eat me and end in my horribly painful death.

/and then there are the animals to worry about


I remember watching a special on venemous creatures. The worst are all in Australia. From what I've seen it's just a fact of life over there and they deal with it. As for big man-eating creatures everybody's got those. I knew a man that was killed by a black bear several years ago, and he really wasn't doing anything stupid other than being outside by himself.
 
2007-10-19 10:41:25 AM
How can you get drunk on beer?
 
2007-10-19 10:45:16 AM
RiverKing: How can you get drunk on beer?

By drinking twelve cans.
 
2007-10-19 10:46:35 AM
www.epinions.com
 
2007-10-19 11:16:40 AM
I dunno. This whole thread screams "HERO" tag.

I love the term "half-slab" to describe enough beer to turn a straight guy fruity, then landing on a crocodile after a drunken swan-dive and then wrestling it to victory and then sleeping it off for seven hours before heading to the hospital. If there were any women in the area they might have become spontaneously pregnant! His balls must be the size of grapefruits and I want to use them as an upside-down chin-pillow.

/fheptacular
 
2007-10-19 11:26:48 AM
Talk about going native.
 
2007-10-19 11:47:29 AM
Crikey, let me shove my finger up its ass and really piss it off!
 
2007-10-19 12:28:30 PM
Newscaster: And right now it's time for athletics, and over to Brian Goebells in Paris.

Goebells: Hello, well you join us here in Paris just a few minutes before the start of today's big event: the final of the Men's-Being-Eaten- By-A-Crocodile event. I'm standing now by the crocodile pit where- AAAAAAHHHHH!

(FX: Crocodiles eating, French exclamations and sirens)

Newscaster: Ah. Well I'm afraid that we've lost Brian. While they're sorting that out, we have a report from Barry Loothesom in Lughtborrow on the British preparations for this most important event.

Loothesom: Here at Lughtborrow are the five young men chosen last week to be eaten by a crocodile for Britain this summer. Obviously, the most important part of the event is the opening 60 yard sprint towards the crocs. And twenty-two year old Nottingham schoolteacher Gavin Watterlow is rated by some not only the fastest but also the tastiest British morsel since Barry Gordon got a bronze at Helsinki. In charge of the team is Sergeant Major Harold Duke.

Duke: Aww, well, you not only got to get in that pit first, you gotta get EATEN first. When you land in front of your croc, and 'e opens his mouth, I wanna see you right in there. Rub your 'ead up against 'is taste buds. And when those teeth bite into your flesh, use the perches to thrust yourself DOWN his throat...

Loothesom: Duke's trained with every British team since 1928, and it's his blend of gymnastic knowhow, reptilian expertise and culinary skill that's turned many an un-appetizing novice into a crocodilic banquet.

Duke: Well, our chefs have been experimenting for many years to find a sauce most likely to tempt the crocodile. In the past, we've concentrated on a fish based sauce, but this year, we are reverting to a simple Bearnaise.

Loothesom: The British team are worried because Olympic regulations allow only the competitor's heads to be sauced. Gavin Morolowe...

Morolowe: Yes, well, I mean, (clears throat) you know, four years ago, everyone knew the Italians were coating the insides of their legs with bolinaise, the Russians have been marinating themselves, One of the Germans, Biolek, was caught actually putting, uh, remolarde down his shorts. And the Finns were using tomato flavoured running shoes. Uh, I think there should either be unrestricted garnishing, or a single, Olympic standard mayonnaise.

Loothesom: Gavin, does it ever worry you that you're actually going to be chewed up by a bloody, grey crocodile.

Morolowe: The only thing that worries me, Jim, is being the first one down that gully.

Loothesom: Well, the way things are going here at Lughtborrow, it looks as though Britan could easily pick up a place in the first seven hundred. But nothing's predictable in this tough, harsh, highly competitive world where today's champion is tomorrow's crocodile shiat. And back to you, in the studio, Norman.
 
2007-10-19 01:15:06 PM
From the article dailyn put up:

Queensland Parks and Wildlife conservation services manager Mark Read... mixing alcohol, croc country and swimming was dangerous.

"Those things are a really bad combination and really increases someone exposure to a dangerous situation," he said.

"There needs to be appropriate human behaviour in croc country and that means not swiming or wading in water where there are crocs."


These be wise words.
 
2007-10-19 03:16:01 PM
If only I was at home, I'd post an old Everquest screen shot of Lockjaw at the Oasis. Maybe next croc/gator related article.
 
2007-10-19 03:36:30 PM
apeiron242 - LMAO!!!
 
2007-10-19 08:04:15 PM
Hold my beer...

/...and watch this
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report