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(Globe and Mail)   Your parents and grandparents started having sex at the same age as you. On second thought, I don't want to know about my parents and grandparents having sex   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 100
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12271 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2007 at 4:05 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-10-15 01:17:39 PM
The Statistocrats!
 
2007-10-15 01:36:47 PM
There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...people like us, people only 70 years young...enjoying physical intimacy and feel repulsed by the idea. Sickened, even. But they don't know. They don't know how beautiful it is, how it feels to be lying there in the marital bed, with the hollow worn like a comfortable cave into the center of the mattress from all those decades of showing your love for each other. They don't know what it's like to be waiting there, quivering, your tender breasts nestled softly into your armpits, your body quivering in anticipation, your sex wet with desire and a half tube of petroleum jelly. And then he comes in, shuffling across the floor in a half trot of pure passion, and he collapses beside you and wheezes in your ear and you run your hand down his chest, feel the thin wires of hair and fleshy wrinkles. And you know what he wants, of course you do, you've already taken out your teeth, they're floating there in their jar beside the bed like twin lines of pearls, and when you take him into your mouth your mind flashes back to dim childhood memories, licorice sticks and chocolate softened by the sun. And you feel his hands wind into your hair, feel his hips bucking, and you slide your own hand underneath him, pushing past the soft mounds of his rear to find that one spot, slick now with the anti-hemorrhoid cream that makes such a perfect lubricant, and you slide your finger inside, touch him in that one spot he's always loved, and you feel his hips bucking against your face and he's moaning, "Oh, Esther. Esther!" like he does and you know the time is close for you to mount him, to ride him like that horse you used to have when you were just a little girl in North Dakota and didn't understand the hot flame sensation between your legs on those long, backroad afternoons. Blake, that mighty stallion, whose manhood you spent an afternoon exploring in the barn until that one moment, explosive whinny and hot cream all over your hands, your face, your hair. And Edgar, bucking now, frantic, your finger up to the third knuckle and pressing, thrusting, gouging. They don't know. They just don't know the beauty.
 
2007-10-15 01:55:43 PM
Hey, everybody gets old....if they're lucky. And they fark. Continue to do so well into old age. You will be as well....if you're lucky.

Other option is worm food. I'll take the granny sex when I'm a dirty old man, thank you very much.
 
2007-10-15 03:21:12 PM
Pocket Ninja: There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...

Damn, I need a shower.
 
2007-10-15 03:34:38 PM
My grandparents are having sex with people the same age as me ?!?!?!?
 
2007-10-15 03:51:34 PM
Pocket Ninja: There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...

Wow, granny sex, anal probing, pedo-horseback-orgasms and bestiality all in one post. If you weren't already a TotalFark member, hell I'd sponsor you.
 
2007-10-15 04:08:33 PM
Subby:On second thought, I don't want to know about my parents and grandparents having sex

It took you a second thought to decide that?
 
2007-10-15 04:09:05 PM
millertrey: My grandparents are having sex with people the same age as me ?!?!?!?

Why do you think grandpa is not allowed anywhere near the college dorms?
 
2007-10-15 04:09:46 PM
"Your parents and grandparents started having sex at the same age as you."

With whom?
 
2007-10-15 04:09:54 PM
"On second thought, I don't want to know about my parents and grandparents having sex"

With each other? Eww. Now I'm going to be sick.
 
2007-10-15 04:10:02 PM
I don't want to know about my parents and grandparents having sex

With each other?

It's a citrus fiesta!
 
2007-10-15 04:10:46 PM
FAP FAP FAP FAP
 
2007-10-15 04:10:46 PM
Pocket Ninja:

That was epic.

/And gross.
 
2007-10-15 04:10:52 PM
Yeah, but they didn't have the shocker.
 
2007-10-15 04:11:25 PM
All of my lineal ancestors only had sex after they were married and only as many times as they managed to procreate. I'm certain!

I'm positive I was the first in my family to fool around at twelve. Don't get me started on my son - if he ever has a child it will be because he adopts one!

/Don't try to tell me otherwise
//lalalala, I can't hear you!
 
2007-10-15 04:12:48 PM
This thread needs more GILF pics...
 
2007-10-15 04:13:54 PM
My mom and grandma are both attractive women.
 
2007-10-15 04:14:29 PM
Feh, mine started before me. Hell, I was already 5 before my mom was my age.
 
2007-10-15 04:14:44 PM
Pocket Ninja: There are young people, .. yadda yadda..and wheezes in your ear .. yadda yadda.. mounds of his rear

wow.... creative writing award winner!

here's your Lemon. (as in Party)
 
2007-10-15 04:15:30 PM
Nonsense! This is a liberal lie! Up until some point in the recent past no one had sex or swore or walked on my lawn. Now the whole society is downfalling due to the rise of the aforementioned. Libs!
 
2007-10-15 04:18:31 PM
Bob Onisdik: This thread needs more GILF pics...
No, I don't think it does.

Pocket Ninja
You are one brilliant, amazing, sick fark.
 
2007-10-15 04:19:21 PM
Rapmaster2000

Well, if it was the good old days before women's rights and rights of those other people this would have never have happened.
 
2007-10-15 04:20:19 PM
And what I read out of this article, other than kids aren't as bad as we think they are today, is that teenagers do indeed use abortion as birth control, despite the fact that abortion advocates attempt to convince us that this simply isn't the case.
 
2007-10-15 04:22:18 PM
They were 8? Seems a bit young. But maybe they were in the scouts as well.
 
2007-10-15 04:23:17 PM
The world belongs to 18-19 y/o girls. Once they hit 20 they get bags and wrinkles, start wearing mom-jeans, and begin screeching incessantly at weak men for money.

www.alphamom.com
 
2007-10-15 04:25:42 PM
I have a question for Canadian farkers... WTF is up with Nunavut's sexual violence rate being 12x the average?
 
2007-10-15 04:25:43 PM
Pocket Ninja: There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...

So beautiful, you brought a tear to my eye.
 
2007-10-15 04:28:03 PM
But the reality, according to a new report entitled Sexual Health in Canada, is that adolescent sexual practices have remained largely unchanged for decades.

No shat? I could have told you that. Then again, I'm not a moron like Bill O'Reilly.

People are idiots that cry about how bad kids are these days. Half of it is jealousy of missed youth, the other half is bad perception (two 12-year-olds have sex, and it seems like every 12-year-old is having sex)
 
2007-10-15 04:29:45 PM
Lies. My grandparents never had sex.

Ew.
 
2007-10-15 04:30:36 PM
"Young people aren't having sex any younger than their parents or grandparents," Linda Capperauld, executive director of the Canadian Federation for Sexual Health, said in an interview.

I can't speak for my parents, but my maternal grandparents were married at 16, had 5 kids by 21. I didn't lose my virginity until 17. My stepdaughter was on the pill at 15. Seems like young people are having sex just about whenever they want to across the generations.
 
2007-10-15 04:35:24 PM
Pocket Ninja Wow. That was delightfully twisted.
 
2007-10-15 04:37:23 PM
Pocket Ninja: ... and you know the time is close for you to mount him, to ride him like that horse you used to have when you were just a little girl in North Dakota and didn't understand the hot flame sensation between your legs on those long, backroad afternoons. Blake, that mighty stallion, whose manhood you spent an afternoon exploring in the barn until that one moment, explosive whinny and hot cream all over your hands, your face, your hair.

Loved your novella posted earlier. When do you have time to work, dude?

/I'd love get into a writing competition with you in this thread ...
//But then it would be NSFW, so I STFU & GBTW.
 
2007-10-15 04:37:50 PM
It's business time.
 
2007-10-15 04:39:04 PM
Pocket Ninja: There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they.

Dear god.

/take one(1) internets
 
2007-10-15 04:44:41 PM
Well, of course granny was having sex at the same time as I. She was under me.

/not really -- way not really
 
2007-10-15 04:45:16 PM
Pocket Ninja

That made this thread worthwhile.
 
2007-10-15 04:48:33 PM
 
2007-10-15 04:49:11 PM
I can't speak for my parents, but my maternal grandparents were married at 16, had 5 kids by 21. I didn't lose my virginity until 17. My stepdaughter was on the pill at 15. Seems like young people are having sex just about whenever they want to across the generations.

OMG are you one of my cousins? Your grandma sounds exactly like mine. Not sure if I lost my virginity younger than my mom or not, but she got married at 19, I was 18, so if they were doin it before she got married then it's possible. Of course my 28 year old virgin sister is throwing all the numbers off.
 
2007-10-15 04:50:06 PM
right now there is a very confused 29-year old virgin with 49-year old parents scratching his/her head.
 
2007-10-15 04:50:19 PM
JesseL: Don't get me started on my son

I wouldn't dream of it.

PocketNinja might . . . but I wouldn't.
 
2007-10-15 04:51:20 PM
When does the fire & brimstone hypocrisy kick in? Like O'Reilly's love/hate relationship with anything kinky or sexual? Or Sean Hannity claiming he never watched a p0rn0, ever?
 
2007-10-15 04:51:32 PM
Not shocked by the news that horny teenagers had sex. The thought of Gammy bumping uglys at her age makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
 
2007-10-15 04:53:26 PM
mrphil: I have a question for Canadian farkers... WTF is up with Nunavut's sexual violence rate being 12x the average?

Because when you're feeling all hot and horny and you grab that pretty lil thing and she yells "NO! I DONT WANT NUNAVUT!" you say "YES YOU DO" and bam, sexual violence has just happened.
 
2007-10-15 04:54:52 PM
Pocket Ninja:

wow...


just...


...


wow
 
2007-10-15 05:01:22 PM
Pocket ninja You win, thread over. GREAT Post.
 
2007-10-15 05:04:47 PM
By that logic, most of the posters here do not exist.
 
2007-10-15 05:05:01 PM
Your parents and grandparents started having sex at the same age as you.

46?
 
2007-10-15 05:14:10 PM
Your parents and grandparents started having sex at the same age as you.

I've often wondered if there's a correlation between age of first sexual activity between generations. In other words, if your parents were both virgins until age 21 would you be likely to have sex for the first time at that age -- or at least later than the population mean?
 
2007-10-15 05:14:47 PM
pocket ninja

have you been writing 'sensual' animal-love stories for horsesexblog.com again?

// don't go there... it appears to be just like pocket ninja describes it... and worse... don't ask... I did an innocent GIS and got pics from several bestiality websites... and yes, I clicked on one to see what it was... I feel dirty.
 
2007-10-15 05:15:37 PM
RadThad: It's business time.

Today's not Wednesday.
 
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