Prank Call of Cthulhu: I don't know, I still say the worst movie ever was the ill-advised pairing of Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in John Woo's execrable "Face/Off"

I still shiver when I think of Face/Off. But back to Affleck... Armageddon has to be one of my least favourite movies of all time. I think I enjoyed Face/Off a bit more.

What would truly be tragic is a Nick Cage - Ben Affleck action buddy movie. It would create an "anti-movie" which, when brought into contact with a good film would create an explosion energetic enough to power the globe for 40 years.

cmt: Looks like IA Local 110 is expanding to India.

Please... this reeks of "Teamster".

/I'm probably going to get kneecapped now, aren't I?
//Sigh, luckily I have a sedentary job.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: tweekster

Yeah, Nicholas Cage sucks, but "Raising Arizona" and "Lord of War" buys you a lot of redemption in my book. He's a bad actor, but not the worst. It's like Kevin Costner. Craptacular actor, but at least he did "Field of Dreams," so he's got that going for him.

True, I was going to add the note about Lord Of War. I saw that movie and had to double check it really was nicholas cage because he could actually act in that movie, it was shocking. He was good in weatherman, it just wasnt that great of a movie though.

boringmike

nice pic , thanks.

I heard that afflac aproached afflack to do some commercial's , He was a kak and declined . how funny would that have been ?

Mercutio74 What would truly be tragic is a Nick Cage - Ben Affleck action buddy movie.

Fark you, Mercutio. Fark you for even thinking such a thing, and fark you for even typing those words. Dear gawd, what if some Hollywood casting agent is trolling here, sees that and gets ideas? You could be responsible for the downfall of Western Civilization.

Then again, maybe there is a way to work that. Remember "Executive Decision"? (Hopefully you don't--hopefully nobody does.) I was once stuck in a motel room in a boring city with nothing to do, and watched that on HBO. It's not looking good from the cast list--Kurt Russel and Steven Seagal. The movie's slowly going down hill, and then Steven Seagal shows up and starts in with his patented acting technique where he grimaces and looks constipated, and just at the point where you can't take it anymore and you're about to turn off the TV, all of a sudden he gets sucked out an airlock and killed. And you're like, "Holy shiat! Things are looking up! No more Steven Seagal!" And that little pick-me-up makes the movie seem to all of a sudden be better than it actually is.

The same thing could work here--introduce Cage and Assflecks and then all of a sudden kill them both off in like the first 20 minutes or so. I don't think it would matter how bad the rest of the movie was, you'd really have something there.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Fark you, Mercutio. Fark you for even thinking such a thing, and fark you for even typing those words. Dear gawd, what if some Hollywood casting agent is trolling here, sees that and gets ideas? You could be responsible for the downfall of Western Civilization.

Well, I think judging by their recent box office, not even the most myopic bean counter in Hollywood would dare let such a thing come to be. Of course, we are dealing with a group of individuals that would bring an aging Rambo back to the screen if they could even smell a whiff of profit so I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I think I'd rather see an Andy Dick one man show than this new Rambo.

The headline made me all Giggli.

Noam Chimpsky: What makes you believe that Hindus carried out the attack? Muslims blow up other Muslims every day.

Cuz the tensions in India didn't start last week.

Prank Call of Cthulhu

It's like Kevin Costner. Craptacular actor, but at least he did "Field of Dreams," so he's got that going for him.

I don't know why everyone thinks "Field of Dreams" was such a great movie. It was stupid. If you build a baseball field in your cornfield, you're just going to have a baseball field and that much less corn. Your dead ghost dad isn't going to play catch with you, and there aren't going to be cars lining up for miles to pay money to see the field and take you out of debt. I mean, there's the willing suspension of disbelief and all, but this is just idiotic.

Three legged dog: err. Make that corpse.

Not sure wat a corpes is...

It's like herpes, only the sores are in military formation.

SonOfSpam: Prank Call of Cthulhu

It's like Kevin Costner. Craptacular actor, but at least he did "Field of Dreams," so he's got that going for him.

I don't know why everyone thinks "Field of Dreams" was such a great movie. It was stupid. If you build a baseball field in your cornfield, you're just going to have a baseball field and that much less corn. Your dead ghost dad isn't going to play catch with you, and there aren't going to be cars lining up for miles to pay money to see the field and take you out of debt. I mean, there's the willing suspension of disbelief and all, but this is just idiotic.

That is truly an overrated movie. The untouchables atleast had sean connery too

Taco Flavored Kisses?

SonOfSpam: I don't know why everyone thinks "Field of Dreams" was such a great movie. It was stupid. If you build a baseball field in your cornfield, you're just going to have a baseball field and that much less corn. Your dead ghost dad isn't going to play catch with you, and there aren't going to be cars lining up for miles to pay money to see the field and take you out of debt. I mean, there's the willing suspension of disbelief and all, but this is just idiotic.

I would agree, but then if you're one of these guys that masturbates to baseball (like ol' Kev) the movie makes sense. There's enough guys with that kind of feeling for baseball that there's a market in the US for it. The thing that makes me realize how foolish it is is imagine it was a different sport... that he built a curling ring in his cornfield. Not much of a movie anymore, eh?

FTFA: Some 600 people were taking in a recently released Bollywood romance, "Janan Janam Ke Saath," or "Together Through Several Lifetimes,"

Did anybody else find this amusing/ironic?

Since they believe in reincarnation--problem solved, right?

+1 headline submitter, LOL!!

gorgor: Taco Flavored Kisses?

This

//taco flavored keeses for my ben


/i love you ben, you almost make me forget about.....tacos

Mercutio74: cmt: Looks like IA Local 110 is expanding to India.

Please... this reeks of "Teamster".

/I'm probably going to get kneecapped now, aren't I?
//Sigh, luckily I have a sedentary job.

Nope, teamsters just shoot each other. Check this out to see what the projectionist union does (new window pdf). They still brag about it in Chicago.

Noam Chimpsky

What makes you believe that Hindus carried out the attack? Muslims blow up other Muslims every day.

Because Hindus in India have a long and sordid history of religious intolerance.

Ask the Muslims, or the Sikhs, or the Buddhists.

It isn't just Muslims, Jews, and Christians who have crazy fanatics.

Diogenes: Boy, when you bomb in Bollywood, you really bomb.

Heh-heh

2 thumbs up for subby

I'm disgusted by the lack of respect for Ben Affleck in this thread. He's given hope to millions by succeeding despite severe disability. His disability being that he's a no-talent assclown.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: "Super Troopers" is a close second.

Super Troopers is one of my favorite movies.

/meow

shotglasss: The headline made me all Giggli.

Nicely played! Even if the spelling was a little off.

good_2_go: Prank Call of Cthulhu: "Super Troopers" is a close second.

Super Troopers is one of my favorite movies.

/meow

Damn right, that movie is hilarious. Beerfest FTW as well.

Mosques, shrines and temples are one thing, but when they attack Bollywood they are really asking for trouble.

"I don't know why everyone thinks "Field of Dreams" was such a great movie. It was stupid. If you build a baseball field in your cornfield, you're just going to have a baseball field and that much less corn. Your dead ghost dad isn't going to play catch with you, and there aren't going to be cars lining up for miles to pay money to see the field and take you out of debt. I mean, there's the willing suspension of disbelief and all, but this is just idiotic."

You can't be serious. Let me shed some light: Field of Dreams was not a documentary.

By your standard, Star Wars was shiat because "you can't make a light saber". Wizard of Oz? "Lions don't speak English and walk on two legs"

I mean, really, if that's how you watch and analyze movies, you must not enjoy very many of them.

Hypnosphere

I'm disgusted by the lack of respect for Ben Affleck in this thread. He's given hope to millions by succeeding despite severe disability. His disability being that he's a no-talent assclown.

... who is worth far more $$$ than anyone on Fark.

kramers_hair: Hypnosphere

I'm disgusted by the lack of respect for Ben Affleck in this thread. He's given hope to millions by succeeding despite severe disability. His disability being that he's a no-talent assclown.

... who is worth far more $$$ than anyone on Fark.

I'm not sure income alone is a qualifier for being/not being an assclown. For example, Paris Hilton... also worth more than anyone here, but without doubt a complete and total pile of shiat.

Not that I'm a big Affleck fan, but before you make fun of his movies, check out my top-two worst movies of all time:

Nothing But Trouble
Caddyshack II

This event in the ongoing stream of terror attacks, brought you you by friendly people of "The Religion of Peace" ©

Stuck in my head . . .

I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that's an awful lot girl.
And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you.

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school.
He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part.
He's way better than Ben Affleck.
And now all I can think about is your smile
and that shiatty movie too.
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than I miss you.

Affleck was in Field of Dreams. Does that count?

He didn't ruin Dazed and Confused but it's hard to ruin a movie by being a pompous jackass that nobody likes when you're playing a pompous jackass that nobody likes.

steveurkel

I need to make a run for the border.
If you pay, I'll take off my top.
Do you remember what I want to order?
Three tacos, two tostadas, and a soda pop

GoodyearPimp
"I don't know why everyone thinks "Field of Dreams" was such a great movie. It was stupid. If you build a baseball field in your cornfield, you're just going to have a baseball field and that much less corn. Your dead ghost dad isn't going to play catch with you, and there aren't going to be cars lining up for miles to pay money to see the field and take you out of debt. I mean, there's the willing suspension of disbelief and all, but this is just idiotic."

You can't be serious. Let me shed some light: Field of Dreams was not a documentary.

By your standard, Star Wars was shiat because "you can't make a light saber". Wizard of Oz? "Lions don't speak English and walk on two legs"

I mean, really, if that's how you watch and analyze movies, you must not enjoy very many of them.

Well, I did mention "willing suspension of disbelief", but point taken. Even allowing for that though, it was still stupid. What the hell was the point? Ghost ballplayers that nobody else can see - what for?

And as was pointed out above, swap baseball for some other sport to show how ridiculous it is. If he'd built a putting green, would Sam Snead have shown up?

Fine, can someone please explain the appeal of "Super Troopers" to me? I didn't laugh once throughout the whole thing. I think I cracked a smile at the concept of Afghanistanimation being a rung below Japanimation, and the "snozzberries" joke was amusing but poorly executed. I like drug humor (Cheech and Chong--funny). I like offensive, juvenile humor (South Park, Beavis and Butthead--funny). But "Super Troopers" sucked ass. It looked cheap (the sets were terrible). What passed for a plot was lame--like they just ripped off some piece of crap from the '80s and rewrote it. The actors weren't good, the gags weren't funny.

It reminded me of the "Police Academy" movies--particularly the later ones. When I was 12, that seemed like the funniest thing ever. I'm sure, if I were to rewatch them now, they'd suck big time. Do you have to be stoned to enjoy Super Troopers? Do you have to be 12? Can someone explain the appeal?

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Fine, can someone please explain the appeal of "Super Troopers" to me? I didn't laugh once throughout the whole thing. I think I cracked a smile at the concept of Afghanistanimation being a rung below Japanimation, and the "snozzberries" joke was amusing but poorly executed. I like drug humor (Cheech and Chong--funny). I like offensive, juvenile humor (South Park, Beavis and Butthead--funny). But "Super Troopers" sucked ass. It looked cheap (the sets were terrible). What passed for a plot was lame--like they just ripped off some piece of crap from the '80s and rewrote it. The actors weren't good, the gags weren't funny.

It reminded me of the "Police Academy" movies--particularly the later ones. When I was 12, that seemed like the funniest thing ever. I'm sure, if I were to rewatch them now, they'd suck big time. Do you have to be stoned to enjoy Super Troopers? Do you have to be 12? Can someone explain the appeal?

Casper van Dien's arse.

/that is all
//plus evil doogie howser

OH super troopers.

i was thinking starship troopers, that totally rocks. Never watched super troopers though.

Why is "Field of Dreams" a good movie? Because it tells a simple, moving story (Honestly, if your eyes don't mist up at the end where Costner and his dad play catch, you have no soul. Hell, my dad's still alive, we've always had a great relationship, I still find that last scene particularly moving--that's how good the script is.) that reads on several levels: both as a literal fantasy about ghost ballplayers, and as a story about redemption, second chances, finding closure. It does a great job of presenting the romance of baseball (and I HATE baseball, but again a great script, great direction, and great acting, even by Costner really bring this home to me), and at the same time using it as a metaphor for other, grander concepts. Being from the midwest--Iowa--it also gets across the small town, Midwesty feeling.

It really does everything good drama should--tells a great story, moves the audience, advances its characters and shows them changing. It's beautifully filmed. And Costner actually can act in this. (In all fairness, I thought No Way Out was a pretty good movie too.)

I don't know, that's why I like it. Your mileage may vary. I like Field of Dreams and hate Super Troopers. Maybe there's an inverse relationship?

evil doogie howser

Maybe I'm misremembering, but wasn't Evil Doogie Howser from "Harold and Kumar," another drug-induced movie that fell completely flat for me. (In fact it looked even cheaper to make than Super Troopers.)

Suspect later seen fleeing an abandoned B-25 somewhere in the Punjab.



/subby: do not get

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros
SonOfSpam: If he'd built a putting green, would Sam Snead have shown up?

Possibly. Ol' Sam was still alive when they made the movie.

Dammit, I knew I should've looked that up....

The term LOL gets thrown around a lot these days, but I actually L'dOL.

The one he just directed has an 88% rating on rotten tomatoes.

Talk about a movie bombing at the box office.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: evil doogie howser

Maybe I'm misremembering, but wasn't Evil Doogie Howser from "Harold and Kumar," another drug-induced movie that fell completely flat for me. (In fact it looked even cheaper to make than Super Troopers.)

OH, yeah, I was thinking Starship Troopers too.

/duh

tweekster: True, I was going to add the note about Lord Of War. I saw that movie and had to double check it really was nicholas cage because he could actually act in that movie, it was shocking. He was good in weatherman, it just wasnt that great of a movie though.

Agree. Lord of War was a suprisingly good flick. I don't think Cage gets too much credit for its success but he was there so that counts for somthing.

Netflix is sending me Next at this very moment. I'm hoping that it will be good but I've heard it blows chunks.

gorgor: steveurkel

I need to make a run for the border.
If you pay, I'll take off my top.
Do you remember what I want to order?
Three tacos, two tostadas, and a soda pop

awwww uggggh. ben afflecks spooge....


mmmm. just like tacos.