DOSman: I've never voted. What a farking waste of time.

FARK Submission: Come up with some ideas for DOSman to spend the twenty-three minutes he's saving by not voting. Voting enabl- oops, sorry, maybe we shouldn't do that.

1. Watching "Friends" reruns
2. FARKing
3. Passing gas into his fingers and then waving them toward his nose
4. Killing Kittens
5. Pulling wings off flies
6. Borrowing some Grey Poupon
7. P0rn!!!
8. Finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop
9. Horizontal Bop, Beast With Two Backs, Chunky Monkey, Fudgy Honey, Pouring the Pork, Hiding the Sausage, Doing The Nasty, Takin' the Skin Boat into Tuna Town, Riding the Wild Pony.
10. Complaining about evil corporations

The reason they're not brought up by Republicans is because they are the status quo and any shake up has to come from those trying to change the status quo. For example, almost every state had standing sodomy laws, and the Republicans were probably pretty satisfied with that so, of course, they're not going to talk about something they viewed as a done deal. They're moving on to other business. The people who wanted it to change have the onus on them to attack the status quo and make that change.

All sorts of horrible grammar above, I know, but hopefully my point is somewhat clear. It's friday afternoon. I'm off.

Mkfreeberg, 23 minutes is a stretch. I went first thing on my way to work during our primaries a few weeks ago; i was out of the car maybe 5 miuntes. if time is such a concern, then request an absentee ballot. do it whenever, so long as you get it in the mail on time.

Jeez, BigTuna , sematics semantics semantics.

Can I substitute "overwhelming and powerful evidence in favor of my assertion" for "proof"? Will that get you off my a$$?

Man, you farkers sure like the letter and not the spirit. Does everyone who posts need an English degree and a thesaurus on hand? You seem pretty smart: I'll bet you knew exactly what I was talking about the whole time, you just get a kick out of pointing out minutiae.

Well, we all have our inexplicable fetishes, myself included.

Banning is for fascists.

How can freedom exist in an environment where trust is absent?

Roe v. Wade: The Unconstitutional Decision

Why don't you just abandon having a law dealing with abortion altogether? The Army of God might become confused and bomb the lawless state instead.

Down with government. libertarian would be very nice as long as big corporations where kept in check.

Cheerful slut: "Conservatives can't like sex?"
No offense meant. Slutty conservatives are my favorite kind of conservatives.

09-27-02 04:51:14 PM Stubblyhead: Mkfreeberg, 23 minutes is a stretch.

I know, I know, I was being nice. The older I get the more likely I am to have the voting done-with by 7:15 a.m., but the "I could do so much better things with my time" crew tends to do it in the evening, if at all, which can mean waiting in line. Sometimes.

09-27-02 05:09:21 PM BigTuna: DrLearned...Your phrase is baseless and demonstrates extreme ignorance. If you want to say "some liberals are blah blah blah" then that's ok and undoubtedly true. But you've been saying that one example is further evidence of your retarded stereotype of everyone on the liberal end of the spectrum.

Bevets' posts are more proof that conservatives are illogical religious fanatics who can't debate their way out of a paper bag.

Now, does seeing the reverse of your statement help it make some sense?

We get to see that kind of pig scat multiple times per hour on FARK, man.

Someone, somewhere, made the rule that if you say "all conservatives" or "all Republicans" blah blah blah, well, that's all fine and fair and good...but anybody who says "liberals do this" is subject to the obligatory b.tch-slap and "ah ah ah, that's simplistic thinking" etc. etc.

That's the way it is on here. I don't recall getting to vote on whether it makes sense or not.

Besides...like it or not, there are some things you have to believe in order to be a liberal, and since those things are inherently ridiculous...well, some stereotyping may be in order.

09-27-02 05:36:23 PM AxistedRoe v. Wade: The Unconstitutional Decision...Why don't you just abandon having a law dealing with abortion altogether?

How about leaving it up to the States, like the Tenth Amendment says?

Come to think of it, how about just rolling-back anything and everything the Earl Warren court ever did? We'd be a lot better off.

How about we just leave abortion up to the states, like it used to be? Oh, because then the people, instead of the Supreme Court, would be in charge of making laws that govern themselves. Makes sense now.

Mkfreeberg: Great minds stink alike.

I hate abortion debates. Being a gay man I feel like I'm disqualified to debate that issue.

Republican Shrub had the Sodomy law in Texas repealed but FOR HETEROSEXUALS ONLY. He called it a "symbolic gesture." I have a symbolic gesture for him, too.

That's more of how the Republicans want to get gov't out of people's lives.

Did anybody see the life history of John Ashcroft on TV the other night? It was creepy. Really creepy. Religious nuts are the root of all evil.

Yeah but they can't get things to go their way without having some kind of vote, somewhere, or something signed by someone who was voted in, somehow.

"Constitutional nuts" are a lot creepier. They want to get judges appointed who will do their bidding, with no public approval at all.

Just give it a few decades, until some gay-hostile decision is handed-down by a court, by means of creating new law instead of interpreting existing law. Then you'll see what I mean. I hope it doesn't take something like that to make my point. Legislation through the gavel is tyranny.

John Ashcroft isn't.

Ashcroft isn't what?

09-27-02 05:36:23 PM AxistedRoe v. Wade: The Unconstitutional Decision...Why don't you just abandon having a law dealing with abortion altogether?

How about leaving it up to the States, like the Tenth Amendment says?

Definitely, localizing government might be the only way to escape the left-right stalemate and myth of partisan politics in the US.

"Constitutional nuts" are a lot creepier. They want to get judges appointed who will do their bidding, with no public approval at all.

Yeah, but voting for a judge inevitably ruins the meritocricy of a good justice system with democracy.

BigTuna :

Baseless? Extreme ignorance? Sounds to me like you are personally offended by something I posted. Also, in deference to your nitpicking, I changed the phrase to the kind of namby-pamby doublespeak you (read "some" if it makes you happy) liberals seem to like, and you STILL won't acknowlege the validity of my arguement.(keep in mind that I don't mean 'correct' when I say 'valid': I mean that the arguement has merit. This is subjective: if you don't agree, that's fine) This is all well and good. I recognize that "some" liberals will not stop gnawing the bone even if they are given in to.

And in reference to your post:

"Bevets' posts are more proof that conservatives are illogical religious fanatics who can't debate their way out of a paper bag."

Don't you mean "some conservatives"? If that was a typo, fair enough. If not, you are a hypocrite. I doubt it was a typo.

"Illogical","racist", "religious fanatic" and "sexist" are the surefire catchphrases that indicate a liberal is either losing an arguement or that the press is nearby. I urge you to think for yourself and don't take your politics so seriously. In the end, we are all WAY off base.

Oh, and thanks for "try(ing) to be nice". Unlike the special interest groups you people are so fond of, I do not need any favors from you. Please just call 'em as you see 'em. I will not get offended, I assure you.

Now get some sleep, BigTuna.

Axisted: Yeah, but voting for a judge inevitably ruins the meritocricy of a good justice system with democracy.

I got an idea. Let's keep the judges independent of the electoral process, and have them interpret the laws according to the way the laws are written, and vote in some legislators to legislate the laws that the judges and Justices will be interpreting.

Hmmm...sounds like what passes for "conservative" these days.

Big Tuna:

OOOOHHHHHH I get it....that "Bevet's" wasn't your real intent, that was to make me look like a big asshole......

Looks Like it worked!!!! ;-) touche, good sir.

I still stand behind the rest of the crap I posted, though.

I got an idea. Let's keep the judges independent of the electoral process, and have them interpret the laws according to the way the laws are written, and vote in some legislators to legislate the laws that the judges and Justices will be interpreting.

Hmmm...sounds like what passes for "conservative" these days.

Maybe, but I don't think it passes for "Republican" considering a vote cast for that party seem to carry with it the baggage of Christian conservatives, contempt for concern with the environment and increased militarization within and without.

BigTuna, Harmonia, assorted pinkos: Have a stupendous weekend. Hell, go get yourelf an abortion, if you want one with my blessings!! :-} I need to start drinking now.


I still love you, The_cheerful_slut

Axisted: ...I don't think it passes for "Republican" considering a vote cast for that party seem to carry with it the baggage of Christian conservatives, contempt for concern with the environment and increased militarization within and without.

I'll tell you what I told my ex-wife when I found out she was a Democrat...some five years after my divorce.

Democrats: Protect me from having a cop bust in on my bedroom in the middle of sex, busting me for using the wrong position.

Republicans: Protect me from having large chunks of my paycheck siezed with the force of law, to be spent on stupid crap, union mobsters, Jesse Jackson, etc.

Number of times a cop has kicked the door in on my bedroom and busted me for having sex in the wrong position: Precisely...Zero.

Number of paychecks I've earned where I've seen large amounts of money disappear to be used on stupid crap: Um...I'm going to have to sit down and figure that one out. Quite a few.

Now, you go get yourself all worried and worked up about "Christian conservatives" all you want. I'm going to go have a beer.

With what remains of my paycheck, that is.

Then I'm going to have sex in whatever position I goddam well want to. And the only cop I expect to see is the one on TV, the one tossing shirtless guys with blurry patches in front of their faces in the back of his car.

Now, you go get yourself all worried and worked up about "Christian conservatives" all you want. I'm going to go have a beer.

Imported or domestic? If the rise of fundamentalism in the US doesn't bother you, make sure you treat liberal postmodernism with the same indifference.

Someguy, are you sure Fred Thompson is a Republican? I believe the rest of your list tho.

No, it was a parrot and it was as funny as hell.

Axisted: If the rise of fundamentalism in the US doesn't bother you, make sure you treat liberal postmodernism with the same indifference.

I'm assuming that's a request and not a command. Some folks would say since you're Canadian, I'm at liberty to completely ignore your commandment, let alone have the big-brass-ones to consider disobeying it.

Until further evidence is forthcoming, I'm completely - utterly and completely - ignoring this time-honored boogeyman of the fundamentalist Christian. White. Hetero. Male.

They aren't hurting anything, Ax. Pure and simple. They're not in any position to even begin thinking of hurting anything.

Now, those fundamentalist Islamists, on the other hand...it that's what you meant, then I concur. I find those people to be terribly scary, and I do think they're in a position to hurt a whole lot more people.

Liberal post-modernists?

They're the ones who say if you're outvoted, your opinion doesn't count, unless you're part of some blessed group acknowledged by some orthodoxy somewhere. Some completely-inaccessible orthodoxy.

The liberal post-modernist orthodoxy says, if you're outvoted, but you're an athiest, your opinion still counts.

If you're outvoted, and you're a union member who doesn't want to strike, then go straight to Hell.

If you're outvoted, and you voted for Gore, your opinion counts.

If you're outvoted, and you voted for Bush, then you go straight to hell.

If you're outvoted, and you're a Democrat Senator, then you just get jumpin' Jim Jeffords on your side and your opinion still counts.

If you're outvoted, and you're a Republican Senator, then you go straight to hell.

Scary.

And you're worried about Ashcroft?

Let me tell you about Ashcroft. Ashcroft got voted out of office when he lost to a dead guy.

That's I-L-L-E-G-A-L. The only reason it didn't get overturned, is because Ashcroft didn't take the case to court.

If Ashcroft possessed one-tenth as much legal vindictiveness that Al Gore does...and that's what you're worried about, right? Legal vindictiveness? -- we would have had two knock-down, drag-out fights in the 2000 Elections.

How did the illegally-elected Jeanne Carnahan repay Ashcroft for turning the other cheek?

She voted against him as Attorney General.

Because he wasn't a citizen, Mel Carnahan was not a viable candidate in that election. It would appear Ashcroft was on much stronger, sounder footing to screw up the election, than Al Gore was to do what he did.

I don't worry one bit about Ashcroft. I'm kind of worried about Al Gore and Jeanne Carnahan.

Now I'll be thinking about you in a few weeks, when I send Doug Ose back to the House and get Gray Davis fired from his job. And I hope my votes are counted as support for the Bush Administration in these midterms. Because that's what they will be.

holy crap.

Big deal. There are lots of irrelevent famous people past their prime whom nobody cares about that are voting Republican these days.

Cool Mo D
Richard Dawson
Sandra Burnheardt
The 'Where's the Beef' lady
Both Kid and Play
Perry Ferril
That guy who liked the razor so much he bought the company
D.J. Jazzy Jeff
Anthony Michael Hall
Cory Fieldman
Biz Markie
The 'Zoom Zoom' kid from the Mazda commericals
Patricia Ireland
Everbody involved with the writing and production of King Ralph
Men Without Hats
Dave Thomas' corpse
Gilbert Godfry
Morton Downey Jr.
Andrew "Dice" Clay
Queen Latifa
Johnny Depp
Kiefer Southerland
Madonna
Shadow Stevens

... the list goes on and on.

That's how they got past their prime.

You don't fvck with the Hollywood-Klinton machine.

JennyBean:

HOLY CRAP!! i'm so excited by your comment i'm doing the jig...there is some hope for humanity after all!!!

VOTE LIBERTARIAN!