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(Some Guy)   The top ten rudest workplace behaviors. Here's looking at you, smokers, cell phone users, and litterers   (jhu.edu) divider line 956
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50015 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2007 at 2:21 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-10-04 04:41:31 PM
brifar: what i hate the worst is the mens room at work....this guy kills its on a daily basis......and by kill i mean i cant even walk in there and fake like i was gonna wash my hands and leave.....people like this have to know their farking killin it in there....bring some god damn spray or something....id rather walk into the mens room and hear a can of spray goin off then your flappy anus.....i went as far as putting a can of spray in there and posting a small sign saying "if you kill it in here, please bring it back to life"

Can someone please add this to the list:

123) People who can't type in actual sentences.
 
2007-10-04 04:41:34 PM
I'm not sure why, but the last place I worked, the most over-used, meaningless catch phrase was 'Going Forward' to describe how you would change things preferrably for the better. Like it was some more grown up way of saying this is how I will reduce my sucktitude in the near future.

So, going forward, I will beat the crap out of anyone who uses the phrase going forward.
 
2007-10-04 04:41:36 PM
kornkob: Daffydil: kornkob
OMG! Work's about to get a whole lots better...thanks!
One more tip: it is magnetic.
Remember-- use these powers for good and save your evil for laughter.
One more office rudeness I can't believe I didn't mention before:
People with kids who assume that since I don't I have more time for work crap and thus can cover for them.
Self righteous parents with a sense of entitlement can bite my lily white ass.


Luckily at my office it is give and take, if someone wants me to cover for them, they are covering for me the following week so i can slack off. One person tried to avoid the payback day so now she knows to not even bother asking me anymore.

Although with the recent departures of a couple of people, I am the only childless employee. But my boss is cool and "Going to the clubs and drinking" is an acceptable reason for paid time off.
 
2007-10-04 04:41:51 PM
Co-workers that think they're farking funny by claiming you're doing something outloud to be funny "are you playing warcraft on your computer again?" and having a boss that's paranoid as fark...
 
2007-10-04 04:41:53 PM
The_Primal_Janitor: UPDATE: I just got a "reply to all" to say "thanks" to one person.

How about people who write "pls" and "thx" for "please" and "thanks" in their e-mails? They're basically telling you that they don't care enough about you to add three more letters to each of those words.
 
2007-10-04 04:42:04 PM
haleybaton: You know what bugs me? People who crap at work. Go home on the clock like everyone else, kay?

Hey - the thought they they're paying me to do that kinda amuses me, ok?

/the thinker
 
2007-10-04 04:42:07 PM
kornkob: mrdctaylor: Yeh, payback can be a beyatch.


I bought me one of these (new window).

Beeps once every few seconds. Fits neatly into a variety of nooks and crannies found in modern cubicles and desk units.

Loud enough to be heard but is also perfect for reflecting all over so it is nearly impossible to figure out the source.


That is so awesome, I have to have one!!!
 
2007-10-04 04:42:24 PM
mmneme

lolz.

/It happens
 
2007-10-04 04:42:40 PM
124) Grammer and punctuation nazis


/there just little dots people
//they mean you no harm
 
2007-10-04 04:42:48 PM
mmneme: Lincey: 1. Loud people
2. Fat people
3. Loud fat people
4. Cross dressers


/Seriously

5. self righteous asshats

/yes I am refering to you


Lincey wins the award for discovering who is the loud fat cross dresser in this thread.
 
2007-10-04 04:43:34 PM
We have a workout room in our building. It has 2 televisions. Every day at lunch the same guy comes in, switches both tvs to FauxNews and BLARES them so he can hear the sound over the treadmills. His cubicle is covered with "Marriage is between a man and a woman" and "Vote for Fred Thompson" signs. When you're at work, keep your politics to yourself people. No one else gives a shiat.

/end of rant
 
2007-10-04 04:45:35 PM
I went to the (semi-public women's) bathroom today at work, there was a stall closed but I didn't see any shoes underneath. Figured it was out of order, and went into a stall next to it.

I hear muffled breathing and little rustling noises coming from that stall. Still no sign of shoes/feet/legs, not even a shadow.

Went out, washed my hands. Before leaving the restroom I surreptitiously turned around and looked. Still no visual clues, not even a shadow indicating somebody was in there.

Came back 2 hours later, stall was empty.

My current theory: transient leprechaun crouching on the toilet seat.
 
2007-10-04 04:45:56 PM
Pocket Ninja

I think I will make that my daily to do list. I hope I work with you. snarky snark.
 
2007-10-04 04:46:12 PM
Rubbing feces/boogers on the bathroom wall.
 
2007-10-04 04:46:30 PM
There's a sign in out bathroom that reads "Washing Your Hands Is The Corner Stone Of Public Health" If you have to be reminded to wash your hands, you probably shouldn't be biting your nails.
 
2007-10-04 04:46:40 PM
thought of another one. People who call you and as soon as you pick up the phone, they ask to put you on hold. That irritates the living crap out of me!
 
2007-10-04 04:46:48 PM
systerchristian: We have a workout room in our building. It has 2 televisions. Every day at lunch the same guy comes in, switches both tvs to FauxNews and BLARES them so he can hear the sound over the treadmills. His cubicle is covered with "Marriage is between a man and a woman" and "Vote for Fred Thompson" signs. When you're at work, keep your politics to yourself people. No one else gives a shiat.

/end of rant


I'd agree with you if you hadn't used the phrase "fauxnews," because that word just makes you look like an asshat.
/Fred Thompson?
 
2007-10-04 04:46:55 PM
sigdiamond2000: The_Primal_Janitor: UPDATE: I just got a "reply to all" to say "thanks" to one person.

How about people who write "pls" and "thx" for "please" and "thanks" in their e-mails? They're basically telling you that they don't care enough about you to add three more letters to each of those words.


LOL! U get that 2? OMG, i h8 that!!!!111
 
2007-10-04 04:47:10 PM
We have this one lady at work who is constantly loaning her car to her kids. Then she gets angry when no one volunteers to pick her up/take her home. Take the bus, babe!
 
2007-10-04 04:48:14 PM
When you're at work, keep your politics to yourself people. No one else gives a shiat.
We have quite few of those types here. We fark with them. Add their e-mails to MoveOn.org and stuff. Kerry stickers. Once I sent around a fake news article saying Mitt Romney was on the board of NAMBLA.

Real life trolling has many more pitfalls.
 
2007-10-04 04:48:19 PM
The_Primal_Janitor: sigdiamond2000: The_Primal_Janitor: UPDATE: I just got a "reply to all" to say "thanks" to one person.

How about people who write "pls" and "thx" for "please" and "thanks" in their e-mails? They're basically telling you that they don't care enough about you to add three more letters to each of those words.

LOL! U get that 2? OMG, i h8 that!!!!111


"ty"

I just reply with a question mark. They finally got the hint.
 
2007-10-04 04:48:31 PM
Chacha Pantalones: 11. Paying for time, instead of productivity, so those of us who can actually *manage* our time and leave at a reasonable hour are stuck helping those milking the system and taking their sweet-ass time doing a miniscule amount of work. Fark you. I ain't helpin' anymore.

/not bitter
//okay maybe a little.

=========================================


QFT!!!

We have a liberal leave policy here. My direct supervisor is an older guy with some medical ailments and he abuses it to no end. Look, if you want to take until 11:30 pm to do less work than I do until 5:30, that's your business. But, DON'T use your "long hours" as a justification for you to miss work during BUSINESS HOURS. The farking phones don't ring with questions and last minute request when you come in on Saturday. We do business M - F here. When you don't show up SOMEONE is forced to pick up the slack for you.
 
2007-10-04 04:49:02 PM
I used to have a guy who would call and if I didn't answer the phone he would be standing at my desk 15 seconds later. I started using him to plan my breaks. As soon as I saw him on the caller ID I would get up and go for one of my walks.
 
2007-10-04 04:49:08 PM
nastro: 11. Clipping your farking fingenails STAB STAB STABBITY!!!111eleven

How 'bout toenails.

Know a guy who did this in the office.

/not kidding.
 
2007-10-04 04:49:21 PM
Women that have a choice of ten stalls in the bathroom but take the one RIGHT NEXT to you!

WTF?
 
2007-10-04 04:49:29 PM
I don't see trying to squeeze a size 18 into a size 4 outfit. No matter how much makeup you have on, it doesn't work.
Also, being the only female in IT, I have the only candy dish at my desk, that does not mean that I have provided you lunch for the day. Take one, take two, but that's it.
 
2007-10-04 04:49:47 PM
In this same bathroom, twice I have witnessed true Abominations. That is to say, a giant bloody turd in the bowl. The worst time, the turd was so large and round, for a second there I thought somebody had had a miscarriage.

oh yeah and once in a while, menstrual blood finger-smeared on the stall walls.

god I hate the bathrooms in this building. You can't use the woman employee's bathroom, it's right next to the break room - do you want the sarcastic secretary eating her sammich to hear you peeing? No.
 
2007-10-04 04:49:50 PM
Zmog: 1. UFIA by the water cooler.

ok that one made lol
 
2007-10-04 04:50:02 PM
okami36: ArkyBeagle: OldManDownDRoad: citygirlsf: Oh, and has anyone mentioned people who walk up to someone's office, see that the person is not there, then turn to the nearest cubicle and ask "Where's so-and-so?"

I just want to scream "He's not in his freakin' office!!!

My standard response to that question is: "It's not my day to watch him."

Mine? "FBI took 'im. They were asking about you, too.".

"His head's in my filing cabinet, if that will help you..."


My office is located right next to an area where two college interns answer phones and do clerical work which alone is annoying as shiat. However, these stupid flakes always wander off to do random tasks for execs which makes me their temporary secrectary to everyone who is trying to find them. Like part of my job scope is to keep track of where these girls go. And now people on my floor wonder why I keep my door closed 90% of each day.

/In other words...Thisssssssss
 
2007-10-04 04:50:16 PM
Egalitarian: I went to the (semi-public women's) bathroom today at work, there was a stall closed but I didn't see any shoes underneath. Figured it was out of order, and went into a stall next to it.

I hear muffled breathing and little rustling noises coming from that stall. Still no sign of shoes/feet/legs, not even a shadow.

Went out, washed my hands. Before leaving the restroom I surreptitiously turned around and looked. Still no visual clues, not even a shadow indicating somebody was in there.

Came back 2 hours later, stall was empty.

My current theory: transient leprechaun crouching on the toilet seat.


Could be someone fingering one off with their feet up against the walls?
 
2007-10-04 04:51:00 PM
In my office there are two Latinas on either side of me who chatter like magpies at the top of their lungs All. Freakin'. Day. Worse, one of them likes to play her music files loudly and sings along in her screechy, off-key voice. Nothing puts the shine on the day like hearing her howl along with Madonna. I've heard coyotes with better pitch.
 
2007-10-04 04:51:09 PM
DaCricket-Know a guy who did this in the office.

know a guy who did this in the kitchen...really...not kidding...ack
 
2007-10-04 04:51:34 PM
uppitychick250: We have this one lady at work who is constantly loaning her car to her kids. Then she gets angry when no one volunteers to pick her up/take her home. Take the bus, babe!

Add that to the list: People who get pissed because an acquaintance won't do them a favor at the drop of a hat.
 
2007-10-04 04:51:35 PM
This has probably been said before, but the ones that bring their kids to work. At my office, though, it's a parade. They usually shuffle their ugly kid up and down the cubicle isles so they can say hello to you. Am I supposed to give them a treat now?


Also, sitting next to the woman the boss is having an affair with.
 
2007-10-04 04:51:44 PM
Pocket Ninja: I'd like to add:

1) leaving food in the refrigerator until it is approaching near-sentience.

2) burning popcorn.

3) attempting to make conversation on the elevator.

4) asking "Hey! Are you going to lunch?" as you're exiting the building at lunch time.

5) calling any meeting that does not have a clear, unambiguous, achievable and measurable goal.

6) using the words "synergy," "team building exercise," or any variation of "let's run this up the flag pole."

7) wearing a tie with a short-sleeved shirt.

8) talking loudly outside someone else's office.

9) filling your coffee mug and leaving only a tiny skim at the bottom of the pot.

10) wearing too much cologne or perfume. Actually, wearing any at all.

All firing offenses, as far as I'm concerned.




/Excellent list, especially #9
 
2007-10-04 04:52:03 PM
Did subby not RTFA?
 
2007-10-04 04:52:09 PM
vertigo32: mrtron: Why is everyone against talking at the urinals?

Acceptable:
Talking to someone while doing the same thing, for example talking to the guy pissing beside you or talking to someone while you both wash your hands.
ie.
*both people peeing* How about that local sports team?

No. Just...no. If my wang is out, don't talk to me. Ever. If you are a good friend and we are both washing our hands, a 'hi' is acceptable. Otherwise, no conversation if you are in a room that has toilets.

I've told people 'I'm pissing, talk to me later'.


Cecilia Ann:11) Eating food that is not yours. Did you bring in those leftovers? No? Then WHY ARE YOU TAKING THEM?

I've only done that once, but in my defense my girlfriend had made lunch for me. I didn't realize it was someone else's until I thought 'huh, I thought we were out of miracle whip...we were having leftover pork chops'.

I felt really bad and left $5 in the (identical) lunchbox to replace the sandwich I'd eaten.


Not to derail, but the funny thing about this conversation is that all the people saying "No conversation, period." are all men. My wife and I discussed this a while back and it's one of the great chasms between men and women. Women will full on chat with total strangers when they're in the bathroom, it's like when you cross through the door everyone is Norm from cheers. But with dudes it's like a crime against nature to utter a word in there.

Therefore, all of you men who are saying it's ok to talk in the john are either closet or out of the closet GAY.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
2007-10-04 04:52:13 PM
People who are just shocked, SHOCKED that you don't want to stay after work on Friday for the office holiday party, and cannot accept "Because I want to go home" as an answer. Yes, after being confined in a small space with you annoying assholes for 9 hours a day 5 days a week, there is nothing I would rather do than stay an additional 3 or 4 hours on a Friday so that I can meet your fat wives/husbands.

If I didn't need money, I wouldn't be here. I don't want to see you guys any more than I have to.
 
2007-10-04 04:52:19 PM
Reverend Otis: MCStymie

No Win, in fact completely LOSE. Co-worker's kids are the only way I get access to my Girl Scout cookies these days.

Thin Mints FTW!


Thin. I mean thins. I mean THIS.
 
2007-10-04 04:52:23 PM
SodOff: Hopefully this hasn't been listed yet..

The birthday card that gets passed around for everyone to sign.. even if you have no idea who birthday girl/boy are. Thanks, but no thanks.


I always sign those: My deepest sympathy on your loss.
 
2007-10-04 04:52:29 PM
tweekster: I just reply with a question mark. They finally got the hint.

I actually made this a long time ago for people who post on FARK with "shortcuts":

i161.photobucket.com
 
2007-10-04 04:52:30 PM
danlpoon: Blendy.

I was thinking Stabby McStabstab, but I think that would be too long for the cat to understand.
 
2007-10-04 04:52:44 PM
ccbanker

That list of his is the Creed of Wally...come to the dark side Dilbert....
 
2007-10-04 04:52:50 PM
The Southern Dandy
28). Turd Burglars

that made me lmfao, I thought me and my brother were the only people who use that phrase.

// Kobe! - Dave Chappelle
 
2007-10-04 04:52:59 PM
One dude I worked with in tech support used to a bring a little bag with him every time he went to the john.

He'd open it and it was like a little grooming kit. He'd brush his teeth every single time he went to the bathroom. Or he'd shave, or re-comb his hair. Or he'd put on deoderant. This guy was constantly grooming himself.

Probably a serial killer.
 
2007-10-04 04:53:14 PM
NoAssemblyReqd-Did subby not RTFA?

I think that statement is pretty much irrelevant by now...;)
 
2007-10-04 04:53:20 PM
Women who insist on having stuffed animals adorning their cube/office/whatever. Grow the fark up.
 
2007-10-04 04:54:01 PM
kornkob: mrdctaylor: Yeh, payback can be a beyatch.


I bought me one of these (new window).

Beeps once every few seconds. Fits neatly into a variety of nooks and crannies found in modern cubicles and desk units.

Loud enough to be heard but is also perfect for reflecting all over so it is nearly impossible to figure out the source.


damn you. I would love to leave one here tomorrow on my last day.

/quittin' time
 
2007-10-04 04:54:31 PM
InferiousX: One dude I worked with in tech support used to a bring a little bag with him every time he went to the john.

He'd open it and it was like a little grooming kit. He'd brush his teeth every single time he went to the bathroom. Or he'd shave, or re-comb his hair. Or he'd put on deoderant. This guy was constantly grooming himself.

Probably a serial killer.


Should have ask him if he had put any cats into an ATM recently.
 
2007-10-04 04:54:46 PM
Barakku: systerchristian: We have a workout room in our building. It has 2 televisions. Every day at lunch the same guy comes in, switches both tvs to FauxNews and BLARES them so he can hear the sound over the treadmills. His cubicle is covered with "Marriage is between a man and a woman" and "Vote for Fred Thompson" signs. When you're at work, keep your politics to yourself people. No one else gives a shiat.

/end of rant

I'd agree with you if you hadn't used the phrase "fauxnews," because that word just makes you look like an asshat.
/Fred Thompson?


You are correct, the fauxnews was a bit much. Apologies.

Another thing that isn't so much annoying as funny... people who sleep in the bathroom stalls. Seriously, how do they not just fall over?
 
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