Failure to clean up drips, smears or stray hairs when you're done with the toilet. It only takes a few seconds, damn it.

tortilla burger-Hehe...so all Farkers then?

Yes...myself included

Forgetting to bring beer on fridays when it is your turn.

Eleventeen) Dipping/Chewing at your desk.

My old boss used to do that and leave the spit bottles there for the cleaning guy to throw out.

Galen_Rasputin: Can you wright it

Are you trying to set me up for a Rotsky?

Why is everyone against talking at the urinals?

Acceptable:
Talking to someone while doing the same thing, for example talking to the guy pissing beside you or talking to someone while you both wash your hands.
ie.
*both people peeing* How about that local sports team?

Not Acceptable:
Talking to other people while you are doing different activities.
ie.
*yelling in to a guy taking a shiat while you piss* Hard at work or hardly working?

26. There are just too many goat placenta to harvest because the lazy morning shift guy was hungover again.

are ya'll for real?

getting all riled up because you don't like the smell of someone cooking/eating fish for lunch?

getting all vaggy because somebody talks to you while you're peeing?

saints you must be. the lot of you.

b>mommatoldme
.... If you didnt wanted more spare time you shouldnt have bore the crotch fruit.


/now look what my coworkers gone and did..i used poor grammar on fark...THANKS ALOT!!

Pocket Ninja: I'd like to add:

1) leaving food in the refrigerator until it is approaching near-sentience.

2) burning popcorn.

3) attempting to make conversation on the elevator.

4) asking "Hey! Are you going to lunch?" as you're exiting the building at lunch time.

5) calling any meeting that does not have a clear, unambiguous, achievable and measurable goal.

6) using the words "synergy," "team building exercise," or any variation of "let's run this up the flag pole."

7) wearing a tie with a short-sleeved shirt.

8) talking loudly outside someone else's office.

9) filling your coffee mug and leaving only a tiny skim at the bottom of the pot.

10) wearing too much cologne or perfume. Actually, wearing any at all.

All firing offenses, as far as I'm concerned.

Wow, do you work at my office?

CheetahOlivetti: When I taught high school English, one of the custodians left a weiner print on the business classroom copier.

/I don't want to know how they identified him.

easy... they got one of the students to identify him.

The women in the office across from my cube is constanly having screaming matches with the people she supervises. She is always yelling at the top of her lungs and complaining. She sounds really scary and it makes me glad I don't report to her. I have heard she is really nice, and I am sure she probably is, but to outsiders that don't know her it is pretty intimidating.

Bartleby the Scrivener-
are ya'll for real?

getting all riled up because you don't like the smell of someone cooking/eating fish for lunch?

getting all vaggy because somebody talks to you while you're peeing?

saints you must be. the lot of you.

sorry, pet peeve

# Whatever...

Getting angry for looking at the woman who's in a miniskirt, spaghetti strap top and high heels. If you dress like that, all males are going to look, not just "Brad" in accounting who's soooooo cute who she's chasing after but fail to take the sledge hammer like hints that Brad plays for the other team.

15) Bringing food to share with some but not all of your co-workers.

16) Butterscotch scented hand lotion.

17) Walking around the office in flip-flops without lifting your feet off the floor.

Right now I am wearing a short sleeved shirt with a tie, colonge, too much hair gel, really tight pants. While I am eating burnt popcorn, microwaved hamburger, eggs. Next I am going to pee all over the seats while striking up stall to stall conversation. On my way back I am going to get some coffee but just leave 1/3 of a cup then burn another bag of popcorn. Then I am going to talk with my buddies really loud about how many chicks I scored and how.

So I am getting a real kick out of these comments.

*woman

subby
Here's looking at you, smokers, cell phone users and litterers

So, what, you're hoisting a glass to them?

You know who else smoked and littered? Bogie.

Bartleby the Scrivener: are ya'll for real?

getting all riled up because you don't like the smell of someone cooking/eating fish for lunch?

getting all vaggy because somebody talks to you while you're peeing?

saints you must be. the lot of you.

Sure, it annoys us. We'd just prefer not to.

Society. Get used to it.

OldManDownDRoad: Guidomyte: #1 - Reply All

It depends. If some tool replies all with a really offensive remark or observation about a cow-orker, that's comedy gold.

Not when they come to me and ask why the Exchange server's recall function isn't working...as if it was supposed to work that way.

/no I will not go unplug the exchange server from the switch before the email goes out.
//too bad
///my server

Nothing pisses me off more than the people who think their face has to be six inches away from yours when they talk to you.

I'm not deaf, I can hear you just fine.
I don't want to smell your nasty penis breath.
You are a child molester wanna-be. Back up, creep.

/hate those people.

HunterNIU-The women in the office across from my cube is constanly having screaming matches with the people she supervises. She is always yelling at the top of her lungs and complaining. She sounds really scary and it makes me glad I don't report to her. I have heard she is really nice, and I am sure she probably is, but to outsiders that don't know her it is pretty intimidating.

She's a biatch and she shouldn't be in charge..

2wolves: Microwaving fish or fish byproducts.

This. Faaaaaaaarking this.

/works with a lot of chinese who seem to only eat fish heads in the lunch room

mrtron: Acceptable:
Talking to someone while doing the same thing, for example talking to the guy pissing beside you or talking to someone while you both wash your hands.
ie.

The other pissers in your office hate you. If they see you headed toward the bathroom, they act like they were on the way to the copier. That way, you get the bathroom to yourself. Well done.

pixistick: Speaking of elevators.

How about the cliche' guy?

Is is 5 oclock yet?
Is is Friday yet? (on Monday)
Workin' Hard or Hardly Workin'?
Do they let us go home around here?

Any time I said anything along the lines of "How are you doing" or any damn question...there was an individual that would answer
"I will be better at 5!"

Calling me on the phone from two cubes over.

...cue the Stanky Red Door chick from a a couple days ago... too lazy to look for her...

lajimi-/One of the things that I hate is when people eat when I'm trying to smoke.

???? I'm a smoker...

Geez, I guess I have it good. I'm a coop right now, but I have a nice big office all to myself with an air conditioner, cabinets, mini-fridge, fax machine, etc. I get to spin around in my chair all day long playing music and nobody complains or even comes near my office on the far far away end of the plant (planet).

My company provided my cell phone so I could use it for work. You get the humunculous SUCK IT.

MogKupo 2007-10-04 02:28:59 PM
Pocket Ninja: I'd like to add:

3) attempting to make conversation on the elevator.


I'd like to throw out trying to make conversation while at the urinals in the bathroom.

Not nearly as bad as someone making conversation with you while taking a dumb inside the stall right next to yours!

So what do you think... plop.. of the.. puufftt...PLOPnew manager of Human...pooooouufftt.. Resources?

What's wrong with the short sleeve/tie combo? We have to tie up, but it's too farking hot in here to be comfortable in long sleeves (thanks to the perptually cold biatches down the hall)...I didn't realize it was rude, just more comfortable

bish0p: noYOUare: Making little clicky noises with your mouth while searching for a file on your computer.

I once had to share an office with a guy that loaded a Windows theme that changed all Windows events to sounds from "The Mask". e.g. Delete a file and the speakers would blare "SSSSSMOKIN!" at full volume.

There's some guy at work who has the "Ha-dookin!" sounds from Street Fighter every time a trade executes. Now THAT makes me stabby...

HunterNIU: tweekster: The other great thing, I work in the lower level with one part time sales person. The smooth jazz radio is turned off down here and DI.FM is basically cranked all day.

Ha! Where I used to work we had satelite radio. (This is a major corporation with over 525 stores.) Some guy we worked with refused to listend to anything but jazz (we had like 15 other channels) so I noticed our corporate account number was just scrawled on the back of the reciever. We called "Muzak" and had them delete the jazz channel and as a joke add a rap station. He was so pissed when he found out. Our corporate office put a lock on all stations afterward so that they couldn't be changed without a passphrase.

That is sweet. The passphrase is probably "jazz" though. Actually the radio gets turned randomly and people don't even notice because it is relatively quiet. I just prefer to have my station cranked up.

For comcast, did you try setting your torrent client to encrypt the headers?

SuperNinjaToad: MogKupo 2007-10-04 02:28:59 PM
Pocket Ninja: I'd like to add:

3) attempting to make conversation on the elevator.


I'd like to throw out trying to make conversation while at the urinals in the bathroom.

Not nearly as bad as someone making conversation with you while taking a dumb inside the stall right next to yours!

So what do you think... plop.. of the.. puufftt...PLOPnew manager of Human...pooooouufftt.. Resources?

HAHA...Crackling shiats kill me every time. I don't care who you are when you get done I am gonna laugh in your FACE!!!

Working a busy night at a bar/grill in a small rich town is enough to make you wanna slit your wrists then hang yourself, snobby and biatchy people all day for no reason... that being said I have work in 3 hours...
/owner gave us the go ahead to give shiat right back to these people, even if it means loss of business
//must be doing fine for himself, 1 restaurant, winery few doors down, bar upstairs and down, another restaurant opening this month, 2 inns.... rich farker
///it's also my birthday tomorrow, so guess who isn't working to full potential tonight?

Sgt Scratcher: What's wrong with the short sleeve/tie combo? We have to tie up, but it's too farking hot in here to be comfortable in long sleeves (thanks to the perptually cold biatches down the hall)...I didn't realize it was rude, just more comfortable

But do you tuck the tie inside your shirt about 2 buttons down?

mrtron: Why is everyone against talking at the urinals?

Acceptable:
Talking to someone while doing the same thing, for example talking to the guy pissing beside you or talking to someone while you both wash your hands.
ie.
*both people peeing* How about that local sports team?

No. Just...no. If my wang is out, don't talk to me. Ever. If you are a good friend and we are both washing our hands, a 'hi' is acceptable. Otherwise, no conversation if you are in a room that has toilets.

I've told people 'I'm pissing, talk to me later'.


Cecilia Ann:11) Eating food that is not yours. Did you bring in those leftovers? No? Then WHY ARE YOU TAKING THEM?

I've only done that once, but in my defense my girlfriend had made lunch for me. I didn't realize it was someone else's until I thought 'huh, I thought we were out of miracle whip...we were having leftover pork chops'.

I felt really bad and left $5 in the (identical) lunchbox to replace the sandwich I'd eaten.

Safari joe does it again

THIS! And why for the love of god do they always use the biggest, clearest container they can find? Years ago a guy at work used a 1 Gallon glass apple juice jug. He wanted to see how long it would take him to fill it. Watching him pack that thing around for almost two weeks was incredibly disgusting. Yack.

lajimi:
Daffydil: Mr Guy-No, Mr Smokerman, I do NOT want to hold the elevator for you after your smoke break. The stink doesn't magically stay outside just because you were soiling the fresh air right in front of the door with your foul stench.

Get over it, you anti-smokers have gotten you own way far too often. Time to STFU and GBTW.

/One of the things that I hate is when people eat when I'm trying to smoke.


You are a dumbass. If you smoke, keep it away from the doors. For god sakes use some spray or something if you are going into a confined area afterward.

/try smoking my pole it's better for you
//One of the things that I hate is when people get frustrated by the truth that smoking is disgusting while I'm trying to fark.

mobombhead: Pocket Ninja: 2) making burning popcorn.

God, I hate that smell.

The entire Wal-Mart HQ smells of microwave popcorn in the most awful way. I was never a huge fan of popcorn, but working in that environment gave me a completely involuntary gagging reaction to the smell. God save anyone who attempts to microwave that stuff around here, because I am known to rant for hours if that happens.

What's wrong with the short sleeve/tie combo?

Nothing...if you're a used car salesman.

DisplacedTexan: Ceph:

12) Saying negative things about your co-workers work hours. So what if I leave at 4:30? I also get here at 7 a.m. and only take a 1 hour lunch once a week. Your happy ass doesn't get here until 8:30 at the earliest. Want proof I get here at 7? See my car right outside the door in the second-best parking spot? Yeah, let's see YOU do that getting here any later than 7:15.

This...



AGAIN.. THIS.

Being all braggy about your kid and how wonderful he is when he is 45 and lives with mommy and he's a sex offender. Then being a bigot biatch.

We had a guy who would take calls while in the stall, at least three times a week. Who does that?
Luckily we work in a 60's era building with actual light switches in the restrooms, which enabled a certain kind of justice. Nothing like taking stall calls in the dark.

I get annoyed with the horrible smell in the mens room every day. What the hell do people eat? I'm not saying my shiate doesn't stink but WTF??? This is beyond stink. It's so bad that it hurts my feelings.

HunterNIU

I'm starting to get just a bit pissed here...you two work with me per chance?