Willie Halliburton.

So THAT's the guy getting all those defense billions?

Willie Halliburton? That guy must be rolling in dough with all his war profiteering. Bastard.

ElegantGoose: Willie Halliburton? That guy must be rolling in dough with all his war profiteering. Bastard.

He thought it was a tip! Honest mistake.

GAH! Beaten by eight seconds!!!

/And by someone from Ohio?
//(I'm from Michigan)

/they say if you stare at this photo long enough, the ghostly image of a man becomes visible
//don't believe a word of it myself
///giggity

Dood! That guys is the detective.
(Where's the "That's Racist" kid?)

That guys guy is the detective.

FTFmyself

Wow, all kinds of pictorial goodness/badness on this one.

GEEZ...a little pic happy in that article, huh? I half expected to see something like this to make an appearance:


The chair the victim was sitting in when told of the missing money

You hired your minister off Craigslist and you are surprised you got scammed?

Seriously who names their kid "Kitty"!?!?!?

I could tell you the wife would be hittable just by looking at the douchebag-looking guy. Guys like that seem to get a lot of girls some how.

Wx Man:

It's a nick-name for Catherine. Hell, I have an aunt Catherine nick-named "Chick".

Shrinkwrap: He thought it was a tip! Honest mistake.

Now THAT's the way to bring it around!

That rich taste? It's the taste of WIN!

CaptainBeer: Wx Man:

It's a nick-name for Catherine. Hell, I have an aunt Catherine nick-named "Chick".

why not MEOW?

Seriously who names their kid "Kitty"!?!?!?

Um, usually no one, they name her Catherine.

/Unless you're from Texas

WTF?

I assume by 1950's Rancher they mean POS singlewide.

When the groom's wearing more rings than the bride, they have issues that go beyond Craigslist scams.

Come Away with Me to The Fields of Like: GEEZ...a little pic happy in that article, huh? I half expected to see something like this to make an appearance: The chair the victim was sitting in when told of the missing money

LOL

nopokerface: You hired your minister off Craigslist and you are surprised you got scammed?

This.

oukewldave: I could tell you the wife would be hittable just by looking at the douchebag-looking guy. Guys like that seem to get a lot of girls some how.

They know how to treat a woman like the cheap slapper she really is.

officiate officiant

someone needs a new copy editor.

Pro Zack:

Or GIANT FROGS GIANT FROGS! What can I say? GIANT FROGS!

/I need help
//maybe just some coffee
///What happenned to all the slashies?

madfgurtbn: WTF?

JESUS!!! I SEE JESUS!!!.

no.

it's David Bowman.

madfgurtbn: WTF?

You see, they were remodeling their kitchen. So, they had their friends get the Home Depot cards. This picture shows why their kitchen needed....ahh fark it.

/Let's make it a meme.

Can't say why, but my gaydar is going off because of the groom.

Craiglist + hahaha "Reverand" = ghetto.

Wx Man Kitty is sometimes short for Katherine or other K-names. Still awful (or at least dated).

oukewldave I agree...what do girls see in guys like that? I am secure enough to admit when a guy is attractive, but the overpumped, shaved head/permanently affixed hat, and earring looks awful to me. Yet they always seem to have really hot girls (altho sometimes trashy hot...but who doesn't like that every now and then).

And while it's bad that their gifts were stolen,

1. You might wanted to have checked references (or just had one of your friends do it if you were really concerned about saving money -- it takes like two seconds to get the license).

2. Maybe they would have the money to renovate their kitchen if they didn't have three platinum rings on two hands and a huge rock.

LeFort III: Can't say why, but my gaydar is going off because of the groom.

I thought the same thing, good looking beard, though.

The minister looks like a cheap Xanax-poppin' Kentucky white trash ho.

zekebullseye: The minister looks like a cheap Xanax-poppin' triple wide Kentucky white trash ho.

ya missed one thing.

Did anyone tell them some justices of the peace are cheaper?

Seperated at birth?

Looks like she is wearing a bra, not a wedding dress.

turbopro: Seperated at birth?



Win. That's exactly what I thought of when I saw him.

You're a minister hired by a couple via craigslist and you honestly thought you were going to receive a tip?

Heck, I'm not sure people even consider tipping the pastor, minister, priest, etc. I've performed two weddings in my life for friends and never received jack for my services. It didn't piss me off at the time, but it does now since one of the couples got divorced so it was a double waste of my time. To this day, I let my buddy know constantly that my record is at .500 thanks to his dumb ass.

Gilligan_Buddy: Looks like she is wearing a bra, not a wedding dress.

Agreed. In this case, I have no problem with that.

turbopro: Seperated at birth?

Damn, got beat to it

Cruiser7
When the groom's wearing more rings than the bride, they have issues that go beyond Craigslist scams.

Actually, I suspect craigslist is exactly where there issues come from.

/gate b9 stall

Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..

On a side note:

Note: Tanning Salon (new window)

nopokerface: LeFort III: Can't say why, but my gaydar is going off because of the groom.

I thought the same thing, good looking beard, though.

Same too, and is that dyed platinum white hair, or natural? (in the behind wedding pic)

sforce: Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..

On a side note:

Note: Tanning Salon (new window)

That clinches it, he's a closeted pillow biter. NTTIAWWT.

A friend of mine had something similar happen not long ago - they had their wedding at a coutry club, durring the ceremony someone went into the (locked) womens locker room where the bridal party had all there stuff and stole several thousand in cash, gift cards, and other things.

To add insult to injury, when they called the cops, turned out one of the bridesmaids had a bench warrant out for her arrest for failiur to appear on a traffic ticket and got hauled off in handcuffs and dragged back to Indy (a 3 hour drive) and tossed in jail. There were a few pissed off people that day. Still no clue who stole all that.

Kyndig: A friend of mine had something similar happen not long ago - they had their wedding at a coutry club, durring the ceremony someone went into the (locked) womens locker room where the bridal party had all there stuff and stole several thousand in cash, gift cards, and other things.

To add insult to injury, when they called the cops, turned out one of the bridesmaids had a bench warrant out for her arrest for failiur to appear on a traffic ticket and got hauled off in handcuffs and dragged back to Indy (a 3 hour drive) and tossed in jail. There were a few pissed off people that day. Still no clue who stole all that.


Dude, run, the spelling and grammar nazis are coming for you.

Honest mistake. She thought they were gift cards for Jenny Craig.

Elvis_Bogart: img341.imageshack.us

Absolute win.

madfgurtbn: WTF?

Virgin Mary?

lurksquid Dude, run, the spelling and grammar nazis are coming for you.

Meh, I take no responsibility for anything I type prior to finishing my first pot of coffee. Currently only 1/3 of the way there. Let 'em flame=)

This is good practice for the groom. The "ripping off" has just begun.

Oh, and apparently it's Kyra (it seems) as opposed to Catherine etc etc. Honestly I think Kyra sounds a lot better than Kitty, but then again I'd never hire anyone off craigslist so what do I know.

Link (new window)

This quote just has so much irony...

"This is pretty blatant what she did," said Halliburton. "I think there are other victims out there."

I agree...what do girls see in guys like that? I am secure enough to admit when a guy is attractive, but the overpumped, shaved head/permanently affixed hat, and earring looks awful to me. Yet they always seem to have really hot girls (altho sometimes trashy hot...but who doesn't like that every now and then).

I think they look good for each other. I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there who would say to you, "What do you see in that stupid, materialistic blonde bimbo?"

No love for this gem? The last line of the article:

"It is surprisingly easy to become a registered officiate so you can legally sign a marriage license. I became an ordained minister online for free, right from the KATU newsroom."

Maybe I'll casually become an "ordained" "minister" at work today too.

If we're sharing "stupid wedding hijinks"...

My ex was changing for us to leave after the reception. Left the bag of $3000+ in wedding cash in the restroom where she changed.

I must be at least part Indian, because my Chokabiatch blood was running strong.... on our wedding night.

/Shoulda run away screaming then
// Money was discovered after we left

If they're so desperate to remodel the kitchen, why does she have that rediculously gaudy shiny piece of rock stuck to her finger. Do they not make gold bands anymore? Is your marriage license more valid with one of those than with your great grandma's old ring?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes for the bride.

nice

Anne.Uumellmahaye - excellent point.

oukewldave: I could tell you the wife would be hittable just by looking at the douchebag-looking guy. Guys like that seem to get a lot of girls some how.

Wait.....WHAT?
d00d - I'm havin' a time figuring this'n.
You sayin' the guy looks better'n you, or just that you don't get a lot of girls?

+ + +
Even bigger problem:
"On her business Web site, Silveira not only posted photos of her own wedding,..."


Somebody would actually marry that? *shudder*
\ good lord god amighty
\\ can teh end be far behind?

*^*

sforce: Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..

Well, weird last names happen. What possessed his idiot parents to name him Shawn? Who gives their kid a tongue twister for a name?

On a side note:

Note: Tanning Salon (new window)

It says he and his fiance crashed and burned. But now he's married. I is confused. Different girl, or same girl and they made up, or what?

in other news... people hire reverends off of craigslist??

yep. yes sir're, I'd hit it

Kyndig: lurksquid Dude, run, the spelling and grammar nazis are coming for you.

Meh, I take no responsibility for anything I type prior to finishing my first pot of coffee. Currently only 1/3 of the way there. Let 'em flame=)

Squidude....just set up a sig like mah bud John's:
"Everthing i just spelt is aproximate"



\works
\\for everone

@(g)@
*^*

//The bride, I mean.

MikeMc:


WANT

Y'know? Innat Dan & Roseanne's first first dotter?



\ ver.2 on Scrubs hellahotter
\\ nome seine?

*^*

i'd hit it then flag her for abuse.

pdieten: sforce:On a side note:

Note: Tanning Salon (new window)

It says he and his fiance crashed and burned. But now he's married. I is confused. Different girl, or same girl and they made up, or what?

The tanning salon article was from 2001.

turbopro: Seperated at birth?

Damn, beat me to it.

It's good to see that Booker has found gainful employment after leaving the WWE.... (or was he fired? I don't really care enough to find out.)

Booker T's gotta eat too

She only took tips!

Perhaps this would be a good time to suggest wedding gifts (a) not be cash or the equivalent and (b) perhaps not giving them during the ceremony? The couple has so much else going on, and it's a good way to risk a problem that messes up an important day.

/You are my Sonnenschein, my only Sonnenschein

I like the fold down stove. I wonder if they have fold down sinks, fold down refrigerators and fold down dishwashers.

I Don't Appreciate Your Ruse: Yet they always seem to have really hot girls...

Looks aren't everything. She's hot, maybe, but maybe she's a really skanky person inside.


And I'd love to send an exploratory probe in to find out.

Were the photos taken with a Polaroid, then scanned?

She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.

Got married at the Ba'hai Temple, just north of Chicago. Unique and beautiful building in a beautiful location

No priest, minister, guru, etc.

Just one Ba'hai witness, who was there to make sure we said one sentence. This sentence was all that was required, and it some bland gobbly-gook, starting with "Verily, ..." or "Oh yea,...". Then we could put in whatever we wanted. Outside of consmmating the marriage on the spot, of course. No muss, no fuss and very reasonable. If you want a ceremony, without the BS, I recommended the Ba'hai. They have some nice facilities around country.

Stepdaughter married in a ceremony in a home. Secured a minster for the University of Chicago's Divinity School. Absolute loon! Surprised a goat wasn't sacrificed during it. Ended the ceremony by taking out finger cymbals and ringing them multiple times.

Omminy-bamany, you're married! Yaaaay, God!

Red_October: She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.

C'mon, everyone loves Mr. Potato Head. But let's be fair, she's a Mrs. Potato Head, and that's fair game...

That Halliburton guy needs his own TV show. He's dripping with cool.

How the fark did KRS-One get mixed up with this?

Willie should have worn a tie if he knew he would be on television.

pupdog: Red_October: She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.

C'mon, everyone loves Mr. Potato Head. But let's be fair, she's a Mrs. Potato Head, and that's fair game...

Separated at birth?

Red_October: She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.



cmon now, you knew it was coming.

sforce: Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..


I get my kicks above the waistline, Sonnenschein!

honk: I Don't Appreciate Your Ruse: Yet they always seem to have really hot girls...

Looks aren't everything. She's hot, maybe, but maybe she's a really skanky person inside.


And I'd love to send an exploratory probe in to find out.

...or maybe she's as dumb-as-a-bag-of-hammers as she looks. My god I despise that expression on people in general, but especially on otherwise-attractive women. It just drains all the "WANT" right out of me.

Okay everybody, for the last time: The gift-card stealer is a "minister", not a "reverend". The term "reverend" is an honorific, not a job title. For example:

"The Honorable Michael Bloomberg" is mayor of New York, not an "honorable".

"His Holiness Pope Benedict" is the Pope, not a "holiness".

"The Reverend Jesse Jackson" is a minister, not a "reverend."

Wiki on "reverend" (new window)

/pet rotsky

I'd insert my penis in that bride's vagina - if you know what i mean.

/then I'd do 'er in the pooper
//she looks like she'd be up for atm too

Forget the bride, how about Willie Halliburton? Sad name for a hittable dude.

Some nice sideboob, but she looks high maintenance.

/Not as high maintenance as the groom
//Thinks he swings from the other vine

LesserEvil, do you know that you've just done?

Also, I don't see many "sharp knees" posters. Farkers, you're slacking.

/I'd hit it.
//The wife, not the land cow.
///By the way, the GIS for sharp knees is NSFW.

mindsnare: Red_October: She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.



cmon now, you knew it was coming.

Meh, you people would hit anything that isn't an outright wilderbeast.

Vor uns liegt ein weites Tal
Die Sonne scheint mit Glitzerstrahl

/Obscure?

mindsnare: cmon now, you knew it was coming.

If you hadn't done it, I would have.

She looks like Sara Michelle Geller with boobies and a couple sammiches in her. I'd hit it.

How many more blondes must endure deep heartache
before we accept the fact that nobody should be marrying Kenny Chesney?

catchow: sforce: Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..


I get my kicks above the waistline, Sonnenschein!

That is the first Murray Head reference I've ever seen on Fark. Kudos.

/the queens we use would not excite you

Creeeeepy. The bride looks so much like my cousin, I had to double check.

/off to tease her about it

She looks like a stripper to me. Not that that's a bad thing. Plus the name. Kitty/Kyra? Definitely stripper names.

nopokerface: That is the first Murray Head reference I've ever seen on Fark. Kudos.

/the queens we use would not excite you

Great, now I'll have "One Night in Bangkok" stuck in my head all day.

/still would hit the bride
//sharp knees and all

LaRoach: Some nice sideboob, but she looks high maintenance.

In a plain white T for her news pics, marrying a guy with a fold-out one burner stove, with a wedding service bought on Craigslist? I think I have enough cash to maintain that in my sofa cushions...

Creeeeepy. The bride looks so much like my cousin, I had to double check.

/off to tease her about it

I haven't finished my coffee yet, so I first read your comment as "off to taze her about it". I was thinking damn, that's a little extreme. heh

/don't taze me bro

47 is the new 42:
///By the way, the GIS for sharp knees is NSFW.

I found this on your linky...

EvelFarknievel: She looks like a stripper to me. Not that that's a bad thing. Plus the name. Kitty/Kyra? Definitely stripper names.

So what you're saying is when she was born she intentionally took the name Kyra as part of her grand scheme to become a stripper later in life? Likely.

By the way. She is 28, he is 41. Daddy issues? (Yes I know its only 13 years, but still.)

oh my god... that's my sister. no lying. first I've heard of it too.

/was invited to wedding, didn't go
//there's a reason

Wanna know how to get chicks like Mrs. Potatohead? Join a reunited hair-metal band! (pops) He's not in the original band photo on that page, but search for his name.

It's definitely the same guy, googling for his name will verify it (if you're that bored). In fact, here's a smallish pic of him with the reformed BnB. (pops again)

MikeMc: nopokerface: That is the first Murray Head reference I've ever seen on Fark. Kudos.

/the queens we use would not excite you

Great, now I'll have "One Night in Bangkok" stuck in my head all day.

This.

/I can feel the devil walkin' next to me.

MissK: oh my god... that's my sister. no lying. first I've heard of it too.

/was invited to wedding, didn't go
//there's a reason

How YOU doin...

sforce

So what you're saying is when she was born she intentionally took the name Kyra as part of her grand scheme to become a stripper later in life? Likely.

Nope. Saying they may both be made up names. And that she looks like a stripper. And I'd still hit it.

Interesting... she didn't come up with a single female celebrity...

EvelFarknievel: sforce

So what you're saying is when she was born she intentionally took the name Kyra as part of her grand scheme to become a stripper later in life? Likely.

Nope. Saying they may both be made up names. And that she looks like a stripper. And I'd still hit it.

kyra is her real name from birth. mine is kali

mom is very hippy but we both got the weirdest names of all the siblings.

kitty is her stripper name, though she's not a stripper anymore.

MissK: oh my god... that's my sister. no lying. first I've heard of it too.

/was invited to wedding, didn't go
//there's a reason

It's because you know the groom is gay, right?

nopokerface: MissK: oh my god... that's my sister. no lying. first I've heard of it too.

/was invited to wedding, didn't go
//there's a reason

It's because you know the groom is gay, right?

hehehe... I WISH that was why....

Isn't that the same dude that shot himself in the leg while teaching firearm safety as a elementary school?

/they all look alike to me

Nice rock, but you had to get your rev off CL, and still couldn't clean the mirror?

MissK: EvelFarknievel: sforce

So what you're saying is when she was born she intentionally took the name Kyra as part of her grand scheme to become a stripper later in life? Likely.

Nope. Saying they may both be made up names. And that she looks like a stripper. And I'd still hit it.

kyra is her real name from birth. mine is kali

mom is very hippy but we both got the weirdest names of all the siblings.

kitty is her stripper name, though she's not a stripper anymore.

Wow. You may actually be legit. She does have a relative named Kali.

Is Snyder's middle name really Kali also or is that just a messup on the records?

sforce: Somehow we're 40 comments in and nobody has brought up the last name yet. Amazing. Sonnenschein. Sun-in-shine? ... anyone ? ..

I used to work for a small publishing company in Washington state and we did a tourism magazine for Leavenworth (a Bavarian themed town) called "Sonnenschein auf Leavenworth." Sonnenschein means sunshine in German, so the magazine was "sunshine on Leavenworth."

/TMYK

sforce:
Wow. You may actually be legit. She does have a relative named Kali.

Is Snyder's middle name really Kali also or is that just a messup on the records?


huh? Snyder is one of mine (our) former last names. We had a couple of last names growing up (don't ask).

I am legit, she is really my sister.

what record are you looking at?

/this is weirding me out a little....

MissK

Got any nekkid pics of your sister?

/just askin
//I won't show anyone else, I promise

Methinks the groom is compensating for something:

almejita: MissK

Got any nekkid pics of your sister?

/just askin
//I won't show anyone else, I promise

first of all: **barf**

second, I wouldn't be surprised if there were things somewhere on the 'net. In 2000 she was caught up in this stripper pageant scandal. I'm so NOT going to do the search for you, but you can take that info and run with it all you want.

MissK: sforce:
Wow. You may actually be legit. She does have a relative named Kali.

Is Snyder's middle name really Kali also or is that just a messup on the records?


huh? Snyder is one of mine (our) former last names. We had a couple of last names growing up (don't ask).

I am legit, she is really my sister.

what record are you looking at?

/this is weirding me out a little....

Ohh. The internet is cool like that, and in particular there's just one website that creeped the fark out of me with the stuff it found, just checking to see how much it creeps others out. Anyways, I was just bored, don't freak out or anything. Linn.

This is a bit off topic so I'm gonna stop now.

I sensed Kill it with fire is needed here.

I say we start the Church of Fark™... everyone pick up their ordination here (new window)

I was ordained a couple of years back because a friend of mine went to jail. He was only allowed two regular jail visits a week, but unlimited visits from clergy. Yeah, scum-baggy white-trash thing to do, but hey, I didn't make the rules...

/also performed a wedding
//any Farkers need a minister? I won't steal your gift-cards, just the silverware...

sforce:

I am legit, she is really my sister.

what record are you looking at?

/this is weirding me out a little....

Ohh. The internet is cool like that, and in particular there's just one website that creeped the fark out of me with the stuff it found, just checking to see how much it creeps others out. Anyways, I was just bored, don't freak out or anything. Linn.

This is a bit off topic so I'm gonna stop now.

oh that part doesn't weird me out, it's the fact that I found out about this whole thing from fark of all places that's weirding me out.

You can have major bonus points if you can figure out what my name is now.

Hint: there is no more linn or snyder

tokyogirl79 lars ulrich! Gold!

there's just one website that creeped the fark out of me with the stuff it found

Share?

MissK: sforce:

I am legit, she is really my sister.

what record are you looking at?

/this is weirding me out a little....

Ohh. The internet is cool like that, and in particular there's just one website that creeped the fark out of me with the stuff it found, just checking to see how much it creeps others out. Anyways, I was just bored, don't freak out or anything. Linn.


You can have major bonus points if you can figure out what my name is now.

Hint: there is no more linn or snyder

You mean the Collucci part?

MikeMc: WANT

/roger that!

MissK
How come you won't do the search for me?


You're coming across as very mean.

Also, how come their range top looks like a record player?


Seems like if someone was good and drunk and lit and was making some Mac and Cheese, and wanted to add a little bacon to it. You see where I'm going with this. They'd be all drunk and stoned and put the hot record player in it's upright position and burn the house down. No mac and cheese w/bacon that way.

sforce: You mean the Collucci part?

nope, that's old, waaaaay old.

almejita: MissK
How come you won't do the search for me?


You're coming across as very mean.

Also, how come their range top looks like a record player?


Seems like if someone was good and drunk and lit and was making some Mac and Cheese, and wanted to add a little bacon to it. You see where I'm going with this. They'd be all drunk and stoned and put the hot record player in it's upright position and burn the house down. No mac and cheese w/bacon that way.

mean? hehehe... bite me. Don't know about the appliances. It's a new house, never been there.

Congratulations on your wedding, ma'am. And by the way, I think your husband is teh ghey.

MissK

alt? If not, totally weird.

This...

MasterJKD: /roger that!

I would.

/"roger" that I mean

Red_October
She looks like Mr. Patato Head with blond hair.

She has a head?

I Don't Appreciate Your Ruse: Wx Man Kitty is sometimes short for Katherine or other K-names. Still awful (or at least dated).

oukewldave I agree...what do girls see in guys like that? I am secure enough to admit when a guy is attractive, but the overpumped, shaved head/permanently affixed hat, and earring looks awful to me. Yet they always seem to have really hot girls (altho sometimes trashy hot...but who doesn't like that every now and then).

And while it's bad that their gifts were stolen,

1. You might wanted to have checked references (or just had one of your friends do it if you were really concerned about saving money -- it takes like two seconds to get the license).

2. Maybe they would have the money to renovate their kitchen if they didn't have three platinum rings on two hands and a huge rock.

My first...

This.

Insert_Obscure_80's_Pop_Culture_Reference_Here: MissK

alt? If not, totally weird.

huh?

MissK

hehehe... bite me

See, all that vitriol simply because I asked you to do an internet search for nude pictures of your sister.

Geez Louise

:)

emich27



/sorry, pet peeve.

MissK: Insert_Obscure_80's_Pop_Culture_Reference_Here: MissK

alt? If not, totally weird.

huh?

An alt is an ALTernate identity, an account where a person pretends to be something other than they are. There's an implication that they have a standard, more true-to-life identity. You claim to be this woman's sister, and certainly could be, but as far as we really know, you could be a 50-year-old guy still living in his parents' basement in Saskatchewan.

sforce: EvelFarknievel: She looks like a stripper to me. Not that that's a bad thing. Plus the name. Kitty/Kyra? Definitely stripper names.

So what you're saying is when she was born she intentionally took the name Kyra as part of her grand scheme to become a stripper later in life? Likely.

By the way. She is 28, he is 41. Daddy issues? (Yes I know its only 13 years, but still.)

That is the exact ages of my husband and I when we married.

No daddy issues. I just like 'em more mature and smart.

Belltower: MissK: Insert_Obscure_80's_Pop_Culture_Reference_Here: MissK

alt? If not, totally weird.

huh?

An alt is an ALTernate identity, an account where a person pretends to be something other than they are. There's an implication that they have a standard, more true-to-life identity. You claim to be this woman's sister, and certainly could be, but as far as we really know, you could be a 50-year-old guy still living in his parents' basement in Saskatchewan.

I know what an alt is. I just wasn't sure what the implication was.

Egalitarian: Forget the bride, how about Willie Halliburton? Sad name for a hittable dude.

In other news some people are surprised that someone can have the last name of "Halliburton."

Where the fark do you people think the name of the company came from?

Belltower

An alt is an ALTernate identity, an account where a person pretends to be something other than they are. There's an implication that they have a standard, more true-to-life identity. You claim to be this woman's sister, and certainly could be, but as far as we really know, you could be a 50-year-old guy still living in his parents' basement in Saskatchewan.

You big dummy, an ALT is a toon you create to screw around with when you don't want to play your main.

BTW, one of my guildies is a Saskatchewanianiteian, I'm gonna tell him what you said. He's totally gonna kick your ass.

MissK: sforce: You mean the Collucci part?

nope, that's old, waaaaay old.

I hate to say it but you won that one. I probably came across it but none I could lock on. I did come up with the 6381 # but thats gotta be way old since you show as NY now.

God I'm bored. Can you tell ?

So she's the (apparently ex) Miss Nude Oregon of 200, Kitty Rocks? I guess Sonnenschein is a big step up as far as last names go...

BTW, to spare y'all the effort, here's the linky.

NSFW. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. DON'T FARKING SAY I DIDN'T FARKING WARN YOU!

Kitty Rocks cover shoot - NSFW

sforce:

I've been in NY for 7 years so that is way old.

the reason why you can't find anything is because there isn't anything to find. Literally. About 10 years ago or so I changed my name to be just 'kali' . no last name. good luck googling that one!

/+1 for 6502programmer. that's the scandal I was alluding to earlier.
//the family was all very proud.

I called it. Still hawt tho.

And dude apparently wails on the guitar.

/props

Bull_Moose eeerrrr I didn't make any comments or assumptions about the derivation of "Halliburton" as a personal name.

It certainly has negative connotations in some circles. And "Willie" is a bit off too.

Myspace page? (new window)probably nsfw

MissK: sforce:

I've been in NY for 7 years so that is way old.

the reason why you can't find anything is because there isn't anything to find. Literally. About 10 years ago or so I changed my name to be just 'kali' . no last name. good luck googling that one!

/+1 for 6502programmer. that's the scandal I was alluding to earlier.
//the family was all very proud.

Missk: In all honesty I did come across that and almost said it but I assumed it was another quirk in the records.

That does keep you off records in an odd way, some, not all. And fyi, google wasn't used for any of it.

6502programmer: Nice job man. Unfortunate that Miss Nude Oregon doesn't actually have nude pictures.. shame. But judging from one of her posts she tries to search any out and get them removed.

MissK: Good call on distancing yourself. I can only imagine the other shiat that the drama llama brings. I am curious how a judge took to the "just Kali" request. I always thought there was some minimum level of reason needed, and that you couldn't, for instance, change your name to Isthmus Love Farking II just because you felt like it. Would you be willing to share, from your experience, an unusual name change request?

turbopro: Seperated at birth?

I asked myself a similar question: What does Booker T. have to do with all this? Is he moonlighting in some capacity? Did he show up and call the bride and groom "Suckas!" for hiring someone off Craigslist? Is he going to do that scissor kick thing to the thieving minister lady? So many questions...so many questions...

PeriRies: Maybe someone should comment on her myspace page that google has alerts, that you can set up alerts to email you with new or changes results in real time, so you don't have to go ferreting it out--Google brings it to you!

sforce: I know you didn't use google, it was just a statement. Everyone tries to google themselves at some point and I just meant that I can't really do it in the conventional way. I would have to search for something very specific to find myself.

6502programmer: it was actually very easy to do. The judge didn't even bat an eyelash. Also, I'm not the first in Oregon to do so (I did however make it into the paper when I did do it).

It varies by state, a friend of mine tried to do it here in NY and they wouldn't let her. For me, I just paid my $60 fee and waited. I don't recommend it though, the navigation through Social Security and other lovely government agencies has been a pain for the last 10 years.

MissK: sforce: I know you didn't use google, it was just a statement. Everyone tries to google themselves at some point and I just meant that I can't really do it in the conventional way. I would have to search for something very specific to find myself.

Yah, but the main reason to google yourself is to find out what other people can possibly find. In your case it'd be such a biatch to do that it shouldn't matter too much.

6502programmer: it was actually very easy to do. The judge didn't even bat an eyelash. Also, I'm not the first in Oregon to do so (I did however make it into the paper when I did do it).

It varies by state, a friend of mine tried to do it here in NY and they wouldn't let her. For me, I just paid my $60 fee and waited. I don't recommend it though, the navigation through Social Security and other lovely government agencies has been a pain for the last 10 years.

It do anything to your credit and the way stuff gets reported on it? (More stuff or less stuff). My sister, dad, and I all have the same first 2 letter for our first name. Although we all have different social security #s (of course), I still get stuff from his credit on mine and vice versa. Hell, I'm the same age as you are (Kali) and I get letters for AARP etc etc. Couldn't imagine how messed up yours might be.

sforce: I was eight when the AARP started pestering me. FSM only knows how I ended up, in third grade, on AARP's mailing list.

sforce:Many years ago I had a job that gave me a bit of internet "fame". If you know what to look for it's easy to find (nothing salacious!). Back then I did need to monitor it, nowadays it doesn't matter so much.

As for my credit...ugh... yeah, not an easy situation either. Mostly I get accused of having "no credit" and have to prove otherwise if I want to apply for anything. I gave up worrying about it years ago, but I'm sure one day (like when I buy an apartment) it's really gonna bite me in the ass.

MissK: sforce:Many years ago I had a job that gave me a bit of internet "fame". If you know what to look for it's easy to find (nothing salacious!). Back then I did need to monitor it, nowadays it doesn't matter so much.

As for my credit...ugh... yeah, not an easy situation either. Mostly I get accused of having "no credit" and have to prove otherwise if I want to apply for anything. I gave up worrying about it years ago, but I'm sure one day (like when I buy an apartment) it's really gonna bite me in the ass.

Makes sense. Most forms will force (internet) you to enter a last name when applying for credit etc. Like your myspace page that you no longer use I noticed forced you to put in a last name.

So what do I search for to find this non-salacious information?

gee, when my parents found their minister on craigslist, they had no issues at all!

Boy, the world is sure becoming a meaner place.

Aside from the bride's looks (you bet I would), I need to mention that that is one of the better articles I've seen on a TV news website. Usually the content on those things is so crappy, just transcripts from the broadcast, but that story came with pictures, something you'd think TV news would have been wise to long ago.

fish shure: No love for this gem? The last line of the article:
"It is surprisingly easy to become a registered officiate so you can legally sign a marriage license. I became an ordained minister online for free, right from the KATU newsroom."

Speaking as one who spent three years getting a Master's in Divinity and that same amount of time under care of and jumping through hoops for the PC(USA), this is awful.

I had two friends get married a dozen years ago by a mail-order minister named Fudgy who's a bartender at strip club on Baltimore's Block. He did it for giggles. The state recognizes him as a religious professional.

What is up with states recognizing the validity of the so-called "ordination" of any old schmoe who sends $45 to a post office box?

"Freedom of religion", yes, but this isn't religion, this is selling pieces of paper for fun and profit, and it's an embarrassment to those of us who really are are religious professionals.

Good to see she parlayed that lucrative title as Miss Nude Oregon into the ability to buy a home with a close-and-play range and a Craigslist minister.

Must of spent all those $1 bills paying her way through college.

sforce: MissK: sforce:Many years ago I had a job that gave me a bit of internet "fame". If you know what to look for it's easy to find (nothing salacious!). Back then I did need to monitor it, nowadays it doesn't matter so much.

As for my credit...ugh... yeah, not an easy situation either. Mostly I get accused of having "no credit" and have to prove otherwise if I want to apply for anything. I gave up worrying about it years ago, but I'm sure one day (like when I buy an apartment) it's really gonna bite me in the ass.

Makes sense. Most forms will force (internet) you to enter a last name when applying for credit etc. Like your myspace page that you no longer use I noticed forced you to put in a last name.

So what do I search for to find this non-salacious information?

It's not just the internet, phone company, electric.. all that. Even flying I have to use a made up name. (probably one of the few people that gets away with getting on an airplane with a ticket that is not my true legal name.)All of these things run on computers and it's easier just to make up a name than to explain to the idiot why I only have one.

as for the other thing... since you say you are bored I'll give you some clues and you can go on another adventure....

I was one of the first people, in the infancy of the web we know today, to set up and run an official band website. Back then NO ONE had websites for their band. Anyway, this band did become internationally famous and it was significant because it was really the first time a network of international fans was established. I started this in 1995 and quit in 2000 (?).

It's hard to find much about what we did back then except on a few archives pages.

Mor Beal: It probably has something to do with the fact that unless it's the IRS and CO$, the government isn't in the business of determining what is and isn't a religion.

I'm an ordained minister, ordained by the Universal Life Church. I signed up on the internet to do it, and had to pay no money. I did it because if push comes to shove, and I need to be able to stay in a hospital when the staff wants me to leave (and assuming the patient wishes me to be there, duuh), I have the ability to do so as an ordained minister.

heheh... I did a search and found this thing that I wrote in 1997. How prophetic....

***

the quality is getting quite good. Sounds in mp3 (mpeg with 3 layers)
format have cd quality sound, but the files can be quite large. I know
that there are already sites that do "broadcasting" over real audio which
isn't of the highest quality yet and is virtually inaccessable to those
that don't have at LEAST a 28.8 (and it's still bad at a 28.8). Back to
the mp3s....there is software out there that will "record" the music off
of the cd and convert it to an mp3, so you could virtually put anything
you have on cd on the web (with CD quality sound). Of course the user
would need an mp3 player which is also obtainable over the web (one of
them is called WinPlay3) I already see ftp sites that contain mp3's for
"popular" artists. Anyone could realistically set up a site where people
can sample songs. It wouldn't be completely farfetched to believe that
sometime soon RealAudio will be advanced enough to have this high quality
sound. ALSO, many of the higher tech web designers are including midi
files in their HTML so that (assuming you have the proper plug-ins) the
sounds are broadcast while you are viewing the site. This sound quality
seems to be pretty good too.

**

/wow talk about a total threadjack!

Must of spent all those $1 bills paying her way through college.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't put the cart before the horse when throwing stones at birds in the bush?

One two three, the crew is called BDP
and if you want to go to the tip top
stop the violence in hip-hop, Y-O

MissK: Heh. Except for the MIDI thing. Embedded flash players that announce to your cubemates you're browsing the the site of someone who likes Ace of Base is teh new hawtness.

MissK
this? (new window)

6502programmer: MissK: Heh. Except for the MIDI thing. Embedded flash players that announce to your cubemates you're browsing the the site of someone who likes Ace of Base is teh new hawtness.

I was always partial to Right Said Fred myself...

Bull_Moose: Egalitarian: Forget the bride, how about Willie Halliburton? Sad name for a hittable dude.

In other news some people are surprised that someone can have the last name of "Halliburton."

Where the fark do you people think the name of the company came from?

The devil?

"It is surprisingly easy to become a registered officiate so you can legally sign a marriage license. I became an ordained minister online for free, right from the KATU newsroom."

Ah, I thought that some places were saying that no, the Universal Life Church marriages were *not* legal and you really weren't an ordained minister.

EvelFarknievel: MissK
this? (new window)

ladies and gentlemen we have a winner!

I love games!

Cool. They rock.

Ah, I thought that some places were saying that no, the Universal Life Church marriages were *not* legal and you really weren't an ordained minister.

Some are. Wikipedia is, as usual, all over it. In Utah, it's kosher as christmas. In NYC, no way. Remember though, this is about who is qualified to act as a wedding officiant, not about what is and isn't a religion.

Trivia note: What do John Waters, Tony Danza, John Lennon, Tori Spelling, and Courtney Love have in common? Yep, they're all ordained by the ULC.

MissK:
I know what an alt is. I just wasn't sure what the implication was.

You could conceivably be pretending to be this person's sister, for whatever reasons. I think you have us convinced though. And I'm not easily fooled!

/Um, remove that "not" there

i guess you can find everything on craigslist... including cheap ripoff thief um... fake pastor like marriage ministers? ewww....

Belltower: MissK:
I know what an alt is. I just wasn't sure what the implication was.

You could conceivably be pretending to be this person's sister, for whatever reasons. I think you have us convinced though. And I'm not easily fooled!

/Um, remove that "not" there

yeah, I guess I could conceivably be pretending. Not like any of this matters anyway...

but just for fun.... high school pic (pre-stripper blond and digitized by my cell cam) I'm trying to find a better one, but I have 9 zillion pictures of mostly crap



convinced?

First thing I thought when I saw that article -

Gay.


not that there's anything wrong with that

MissK: As for my credit...ugh... yeah, not an easy situation either. Mostly I get accused of having "no credit" and have to prove otherwise if I want to apply for anything. I gave up worrying about it years ago, but I'm sure one day (like when I buy an apartment) it's really gonna bite me in the ass.

That's...odd. When I had my name changed six years ago, my social security number transferred over to my new name. Credit reports and whatnot are typically tied to the SSN, not the name. As far as I understand, you'll always keep the same SSN (unless you enter some Witness Protection Program or something), so there's no reason for you to be having credit issues.

/also got a nifty new birth certificate
//and an FBI background check

MissK: convinced?

You had me at "Hello."

So MissK, do you two still stay in touch or did the whole stripper thing estrange you? Just curious.

(pre-stripper blond and digitized by my cell cam)

Soooooooo.. Would "Miss Nude Blonde World 2003" need to be awarded to the runner up, assuming she's an actual blonde, or are the requirements for the naturalness of one's attributes, such as the namesake hair color, not as stringent as more mainstream contests? Hmmmmmm.

To get the full enjoyment out of this thread, I recommend that no one RTFA.

I didn't RTFA and so to me this thread reads like something incredibly surreal... I have a feeling if I did RTFA I wouldn't find this thread to be that way.

--------------------

Savage Belief

I hate when Google or other search engines "Rotsky" my searches. That is a HUGE internet pet peeve of mine.

birdistasty: I kept my same SSN, but I choose not to give that number to every company that asks for it. It's not always safe to write that down at Circuit City when applying for their credit card. Anyway, your credit stuff can completely be tracked by name only it's just up to you to monitor it and make sure it's accurate.
The new birth certificate sounds cool...wish I had that!

Belltower: awwww.....

oranjello: we do keep in touch, and any problems we have had have nothing to do with the stripper stuff. I couldn't care less. Strippers are people too!

and....


to whomever sponsored me yay!

Ohne Gott und Sonnenschein
holen wir die Ernte ein...

/surely a little obscure

MissK
Why of course strippers are people, too! They are high up on the scale of important-o-meter of any civilized society if you ask me.

I was just digging for dirt and drama.

\getting back to work

6502programmer: I'm an ordained minister, ordained by the Universal Life Church. I signed up on the internet to do it, and had to pay no money. I did it because if push comes to shove, and I need to be able to stay in a hospital when the staff wants me to leave (and assuming the patient wishes me to be there, duuh), I have the ability to do so as an ordained minister.

I too am an ordained Minister of the ULC so if there are any Milwaukee area Farkers that feel like getting hitched, I will officiate in exchange for a beer based donation (domestic brands are fine)and I promise not to steal your gift cards.

Belltower: MissK:
I know what an alt is. I just wasn't sure what the implication was.

You could conceivably be pretending to be this person's sister, for whatever reasons. I think you have us convinced though. And I'm not easily fooled!

/Um, remove that "not" there

Although she has proved it to you all now, she proved it a few hours ago when I joked about her middle name and a few other details. Well, IMO it proved it cause all I did was type a random name and she said its no longer her middle name.

6502programmer: Some are. Wikipedia is, as usual, all over it. In Utah, it's kosher as christmas. In NYC, no way. Remember though, this is about who is qualified to act as a wedding officiant, not about what is and isn't a religion.

I don't know about the rest of the country, but in Florida all you need is to be a public notary and you can legally marry people. My sister-in-law did the wedding for my brother and his wife because neither wanted a religious ceremony and for whatever reason they liked the idea.

OK, The most valuable thing snagged from that article is the below pic:



Just saving it so I can use it on the next "Halliburton=Evil/Cheney/Conspiracy" thread. Maybe I'll use some totally original comment like "Doesn't Approve"!

/Thought of posting his pic BEFORE I read this thread.

"Shawn Sonnenschein"

haha, Shawn Sunshine...nice name. And his bride is Kitty Sunshine. heh.

tokyogirl79: Interesting... she didn't come up with a single female celebrity...

Wow.. she could be Lars Ulrich's brother.. erm.. sister..

LesserEvil: It's the FSM!!!! Quick, turn it into a shrine!!

Pretty funny. Not hilarious, but worth the post. ;)

That said, I love the style of fold down stoves. If I could stand to cook on electric instead of gas, I'd definitely find one, update it for additional safety and efficiency, and pimp my kitchen, post-WWII style.

I'm still considering converting one to gas, but that's a hell of a lot of work, and I doubt I could ever trust any kind of flex coupling that takes that much motion inside my house.

I hope I don't insult my fellow Farkers who are ministers in the ULC or whatever mail-order service is used, but I have a problem with the way the State recognizes the validity of a wedding.

Look, I know the State cannot tell a legally-recognized religion what their ordination standards should be, but it only serves to undermine the purpose of a non-civil wedding ceremony if anyone with an Internet connection and some disposable income (I know the ordination is free; it's the "ministry package" where they get the $$) is performing a religious function for which they have absolutely ZERO religious understanding.

It's the State's fault. State laws are goofy and hopelessly outdated. Why the State recognize a wedding as legal simply because some guy thought it'd be fun to send money to a company in California in exchange for a packet of forms calling that guy a minister...given that he (or she, let's be fair) is NOT a minister in the practicing sense of the word? She or he doesn't serve a church, doesn't provide for the worship and pastoral needs of others, and most likely doesn't even know the basic beliefs or teachings of the "faith" of which they claim to be a leader.

I mean, c'mon: the Universal Life Church not only allows you to perform weddings, but baptisms. If you're a ULC minister, why are you performing a baptism? What is its purpose? What religious function does it serve? Is it a sacrament? What is a sacrament? How is this an expression of the faith your tradition has? What IS the faith of your tradition beyond "to do that which is right"? How does your faith tradition determine right from wrong?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I don't mind if someone wants to think of themselves as a minister as a lark; what I do mind is the State putting them and professional ministers on equal legal footing and making a sham of the significance of marriage as a result.

tokyogirl79: Interesting... she didn't come up with a single female celebrity...

It left one out:





/ they're both losers
// meaning the lady in the top pic...
/// ...and the guy on the right in the bottom pic
/// they're both losers...throw in the lady on the left in the bottom pic while your at it

Ha. I'm an ordained minister now!

Need more pictures of MissK. Pretty please?

Mor Beal: I hope I don't insult my fellow Farkers who are ministers in the ULC or whatever mail-order service is used, but I have a problem with the way the State recognizes the validity of a wedding.

Look, I know the State cannot tell a legally-recognized religion what their ordination standards should be, but it only serves to undermine the purpose of a non-civil wedding ceremony if anyone with an Internet connection and some disposable income (I know the ordination is free; it's the "ministry package" where they get the $$) is performing a religious function for which they have absolutely ZERO religious understanding.

It's the State's fault. State laws are goofy and hopelessly outdated. Why the State recognize a wedding as legal simply because some guy thought it'd be fun to send money to a company in California in exchange for a packet of forms calling that guy a minister...given that he (or she, let's be fair) is NOT a minister in the practicing sense of the word? She or he doesn't serve a church, doesn't provide for the worship and pastoral needs of others, and most likely doesn't even know the basic beliefs or teachings of the "faith" of which they claim to be a leader.

I mean, c'mon: the Universal Life Church not only allows you to perform weddings, but baptisms. If you're a ULC minister, why are you performing a baptism? What is its purpose? What religious function does it serve? Is it a sacrament? What is a sacrament? How is this an expression of the faith your tradition has? What IS the faith of your tradition beyond "to do that which is right"? How does your faith tradition determine right from wrong?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I don't mind if someone wants to think of themselves as a minister as a lark; what I do mind is the State putting them and professional ministers on equal legal footing and making a sham of the significance of marriage as a result.

State laws regarding invisible sky wizards are goofy for a reason. No one can possibly be an objective expert on invisible sky wizards. The state cannot objectively distinguish between experts and non-experts, so any attempt would be simple prejudice based on the beliefs of whoever's doing the judging. That's not fair if the state is truly endeavoring to serve all citizens equally. So the state rightfully should stand aside, and be very liberal about accepting credentials.

One CAN be an expert on human beliefs, and an expert on rituals and ceremonies, but that's not really the same, is it?

A civil marriage is nothing more than a license and a judge accepting the couple's verbal promises to behave as if married. Why is it any of your business to tell people that they can't wrap this basic premise with whatever fancy religious ritual suits them? What makes you think it's so important that someone study for years to officiate over a dolled-up version of something so simple?

Are you going to grouch about ship's captains performing weddings next?

I am a ULC minister. It's always the people who are getting married who decide whether their marriage is "being made a sham", not you. They decide if my services are professional enough or not. If anyone I've married thinks I haven't served them well, they certainly haven't told me about it. In fact, quite the opposite. The people who seek my services are usually looking for a degree of personalization and difference that their usual providers refuse to offer in the name of their particular traditions.

If there are people who have certain expectations for how their rituals are to be performed based on tradition, and they don't make it clear either that they want someone who's already familiar with them, or make it clear which of those they want and how they are to be followed, then whose fault is it?

Finally, I am on equal footing with other priests and ministers, including those who've spent years at seminary, because by any objective measure, I know just as much about the invisible sky wizard as all of them put together. All any minister ever needs to officiate effectively is the confidence of those who seek his or her services.

darkenergy: Need more pictures of MissK. Pretty please?

more? was there one posted already?

/lots o' pics get blocked for me, may have missed it
//now I'm curious...

MissK:
darkenergy: Need more pictures of MissK. Pretty please?

more? was there one posted already?

MissK: darkenergy: Need more pictures of MissK. Pretty please?

more? was there one posted already?

I suspect they misinterpreted the pic you posted of Kitty as being one of you.