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(National Post)   Student hits teacher with water baloon, is charged with assualt.   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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1484 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2001 at 8:30 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

45 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-07-25 08:38:43 AM  
Why are americans so stupid?

If I would have done it purposely to a canadian teacher, he'd only give me like a week detention!

Americans suck

alt.nuke.the.usa rocks
2001-07-25 08:46:07 AM  
"A high school student in Southwestern Ontario". This is in Canada. I guess Canadians are so stupid.
2001-07-25 08:49:34 AM  
Darwin Award??
2001-07-25 08:50:52 AM  
"She was struck from behind by a water balloon."

Const. Holland said the teacher went to the school's vice-principal, who called police. "We investigated and determined there were reasonable grounds to believe a criminal offence had occurred," he said.

Sorry, this one just cracks me up.
2001-07-25 08:53:07 AM  
this is so lame. the kid and his family should take the school to court on a bunch of trumped up charges (emotional distress, and all the others they always try) and see how they like it when they are the ones being screwed over. i really feel sorry for the kid and his family. it was only water for christs sake! im sure he would have of take a baseball bat or something of that sort if he had really wanted to assault the stupid teacher with a weapon.
2001-07-25 09:01:12 AM  
Actually, water balloons are a classic gateway weapon. They lead to harder weapons such as partially deflated volleyballs, hackey sacks, sometimes even lightly packed snowballs (weather permitting). I think the teacher in no way overreacted, and following the old testament, ought to be allowed to nail the perpetrator's balls to a stout wooden board. (n.b. I have the uncut version of the old testament - and man, it rocks)
2001-07-25 09:30:32 AM  
Darwin Award??
No way, nobody got serioulsy hurt, leave alone killed. But the actions of the school are stupid enough.
2001-07-25 09:39:43 AM  
Is anyone really surprised anymore when schools treat even the relatively harmless pranks of teenagers as if they were major crimes?
2001-07-25 09:41:02 AM  
This has to be the worst case of Power Hungry RETARDS that i've ever heard. To give a kid up to 2 years in custody for a freakin water ballon is just outragious. Oh yeah and:
2001-07-25 09:43:19 AM  
Blah_: They don't need to trup up any charges. Sue the biatch for over reacting and farkin up the kids record.

"[Because] an object was used, the charge was assault with a weapon instead of common assault."

So by this definition he could have thrown a crumpled up tissue at her and been charged with assault.
2001-07-25 09:43:52 AM  
What complete and utter malarky. Darwin awards should be given to the teacher and the school board for supporting this BS (and to the court too, if they don't throw it out.)

Shoulda used a brick...

BTW, maybe there is a baseball team that could use a pitcher??? Sounds like this kid has a pretty good arm....

- I'll have mine to go, please....
2001-07-25 09:50:31 AM  
"We laid the appropriate charge." BS

What the hell is wrong with people now days.

BTW: The Darwin awards are awarded to people that either kill themselves or seriously injure themselves and others through really stupid means. Such as juggling grenades. Not a good idea. In this situation no one was killed or even injured, it's just plain stupid.
2001-07-25 10:00:56 AM  
I think the Darwin Award mention was to nominate the boobieser (Pokkit) for saying how this article makes Americans look bad, but he overlooked the fact that this incident took place in Canada, which I think is his home country.

Stupid stupid stupid Canuck!
2001-07-25 10:02:34 AM  
Where did the term Canuck (sp?) come from?
2001-07-25 10:13:32 AM  
/me pats Sugarsmack on the back; "Good boy, you've got it."

You North-Americans really make me laugh (no pun intended). I am sorry for the mis-use of the Darwin Award. My apologies for that one, although it did seem to me that the teacher reacted like a treathened monkey would, sue anybody and anything in sight.
2001-07-25 10:15:17 AM  
AAGGGH, no... Fark me and my stupid html skills.
2001-07-25 10:18:36 AM  
i think it comes from 'cant fark'
2001-07-25 10:22:48 AM  
I think the teacher is sexually frustrated. Maybe if the kid sticks his thumb in her butt she'll relax a little.
2001-07-25 10:31:43 AM  
Unsolicited opinion:

All are dumb in this case. The kid should've known better than to do something stupid like that, especially given a zero-tolerance policy. It's mornic - funny, but moronic. :) And that school *really* needs to lighten up - there's a time and a place to call a zero-tolerance policy into effect, and this just isn't it, I would think.

Although I can see it. When I was doing my student teaching, there was an incident in which 27 students at my school wound up in the hospital after the cop on duty used his pepper spray to break up a fight. School security is *not* easy.
2001-07-25 10:36:30 AM  
wow..wonder what would have happened if i got caught pulling the good old 'thumbtacks on the teachers chair' joke today..stupid farking authority figures..
2001-07-25 10:37:11 AM  
It amazes me that people seem to believe that the USA (or in this case Canada) possess the monopoly on organized idiocy. The problem is, of course, that the spotlight is usually pointing here -- so everyone always hears about it. You can thank the media for that.

Anyway, if you're European and feeling smug, thanks for the Holocaust, the French, and apartheid. Those Soviet purges were something as well. Or do these things not count when you oppress/murder millions of people at one time?
2001-07-25 10:46:33 AM  
Const. Holland said the teacher went to the school's vice-principal, who called police. "We investigated and determined there were reasonable grounds to believe a criminal offence had occurred," he said.

"We laid the appropriate charge."

A conviction for assault with a weapon carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison.


I say make the punishment fit the crime. Death by Drowning!
2001-07-25 10:52:16 AM  
Please place the blame where it belongs, meaning with the previous generation(s). We can't help how our predecessors farked up. Besides that, the French had one good ides, the guillotine. Unfortunately, they stopped a wee bit early (about 60 million French early).
2001-07-25 10:56:28 AM  
Actualy the Darwin Award goes to Pokkit for diving into his US bashing when it happened in Canada. READ THE STORIES FIRST PLEASE.
2001-07-25 11:00:35 AM  
Pokkit: First of all, you didn't even read the article so shove you foot in your mouth. Second of all, Canada can't even afford nuclear weapons... ;)
2001-07-25 11:02:45 AM  
I know someone who was nearly killed by a water balloon (not ice). Ended up just being disfigured.

Of course, this one was launched from one of those 3-person catapults, but still. They can be dangerous.

Just not that dangerous when lobbed by hand.

-= rei =-
2001-07-25 11:17:40 AM  
Rei - was it hot water?
2001-07-25 11:19:41 AM  
There are certain practical limits on what is a crime and what is a poor taste prank. It states in the article that the teacher was unharmed, so where is the assault? I was about 14 years old (I was probably 5'11" 180lbs by that age) and got into a verbal argument with a grown man who punched me, grazed my shoulder and caught me in the jaw, I wasn't hurt but the police told me that it was pointless to press charges unless I was going to the hospital for my injuries.

This was a simple prank and now the kid has to deal with this BS. My senior year in highschool me and my friends were accused of throwing a yodel (chocolate pastry) at a teacher and we were innocent. The only punishment I received was some detention for telling her she's outta her farking mind. I'm afraid to even imagine what would have happened had that been today.
2001-07-25 11:20:35 AM  
Convict:hey kid, what are you in for?
Kid: i threw a water ballon at my teacher
Convict: oops i dropped my soap, can you bend over and get that for me?
2001-07-25 12:13:22 PM  
Heh. I zapped my physics teacher with a doozy of a spark from a Van De Graaf generator. He just said "ow", and didn't sue me.

Although, it WAS his fault for standing too close to my arm...maybe I could sue him ;)
2001-07-25 12:14:05 PM  
I doubt this teacher will be able to live the incident down...

gossip goes a long way, and kids can be harsh about things like this. ...Next year all her students will be trashing her classroom and messing with her car, if they find her address and/or phone #, will harrass her at home.. remember you cannot possibly be a good teacher, if the kids will not listen to you, or make fun of you during your lessons, she has just ruined her chances of being anything but a mediocre teacher...
2001-07-25 12:39:14 PM  
you are correct soupgoblin. the students will hand out some "school yard" justice to this stupid teacher who ran the the even dumber vice principal.

as you said, if the kids are not on your side you will have a hard time being a teacher. i predict much harrassment for the teacher & vp involved which will eventaully cause them to have a nervous breakdown and leave for good.

i know that if i was the kid being charged id be out for some revenge after i was released. egg->car, knife->tire and the like. that would teach the 2 for being clueless assholes and farking up my time at high school.
2001-07-25 12:45:37 PM  
Blink: Please think about this: "Anyway, if you're European and feeling smug, thanks for the Holocaust, the French, and apartheid. Those Soviet purges were something as well..."

Hmmm... Apartheid: A famous European situation... Ditto for the Soviet reference.

I'm sure that we'll hold our hands up for the Holocaust and, regrettably, the French.
2001-07-25 12:53:56 PM  
but he wasnt aiming for the teacher.
assualt with a "weapon" hahahahaa, a water balloon is not a weapon. on second thought, they can hurt, but still, a weapon?
2001-07-25 12:55:26 PM  
Yeah, I thought about that when I wrote it. But if you consider that Apartheid is a direct result of Dutch expansion, it's not that fantastic of a step in figuring the Europeans (white) might've had some play in African (black) oppression.

Soviet Union covered portions of both Asia and Europe. Technicalities aside, my point was not that we should blame non-americans for past aggressions against humanity, but more that their hands aren't clean enough to condemn Americans.

As a teacher, kids play fun pranks on me ALL THE TIME. Mostly because I give probably more than I get. And I love it. Heck, I went 3 months straight about 2 years ago when they TP'ed my car every Saturday night. Always left me notes so I knew who did it as well.

This case is nothing more than an extreme, so condemning North America as a whole is as logical as hating all of Europe for World War I.
2001-07-25 12:57:17 PM  
Nope, cold water. Just launched from a 3-person catapult. If you think about it, a water balloon is what, 3 pounds or so? Those catapults can probably get them up to maybe 20-25 mph. That's some serious force to have impact your head.

-= rei =-
2001-07-25 01:19:11 PM  
canuck \Ca*nuck"\, n. 1. A Canadian. [Slang]

2. A small or medium-sized hardy horse, common in Canada. [Colloq.]
2001-07-25 02:35:08 PM  
3. A hockey player in Vancouver who can always find the positives in losing.
2001-07-25 02:44:02 PM  
Actually this is pretty cool. Next year there are going to be parents who request that their kids be pulled out of her class. I mean seriously, this kid deserved some sort of remprimand, there are consequences to everything in life, even practical jokes gone awry. But this is going to end up biting alot of people on the ass.
2001-07-25 03:23:35 PM  
This isn't funny... my brother was maimed in a water balloon attack.
2001-07-25 04:06:10 PM  
Are they going to institute a 5 day waiting period when purchasing water balloons?
2001-07-25 04:55:51 PM  
2001-07-25 05:31:21 PM  
I think your capslock key is stuck, Pokkit'
2001-07-25 10:04:39 PM  
ah ... 'baloons'??? got spell check? Fark! Fark!
2001-07-25 10:53:54 PM  
Anyone want my recipe for Stuffed Peppers?

Take Pokkit. Shove a canadian flag so far up his as s he chokes on it. Heat as desired.
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