Stray Cat Strut: I'm flattered :) But seriously...in the real world, it just isn't happening.

/not too worried, this thread makes me slightly sad though

Semi-serious advice: Stop playing around with the little boys and find yourself a guy who knows what he's doing. You want to make a guys year? Find yourself a nice 30-something and rock his world for a couple months.

If she still has energy left to cuddle, I did something wrong.

Fark Sex Advice Threads: For those of us who like to read Hustler for the articles

/OK, I did take some notes

Tracey: I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle! They're just worried their partner might see it as weak and them as vulnerable.

10 seconds after finishing, my brain is thinking about everything except sex. This is actually how I determine if I would want to be in a long-term relationship with a girl. I get into the shower, think about her and everything I like about her. Strangle the rabbit. Count to ten. Then ask myself, "If she knocked on the door right now and asked me to go antique shopping with her...would I want to go?" If the answer is yes, then it's probably love.

grizzlyjohnson: And Stray Cat Strut's email explodes.

That.

Here's all the sexucation you need: Pops

AddictedToFoobies: Stray Cat Strut: I'm flattered :) But seriously...in the real world, it just isn't happening.

/not too worried, this thread makes me slightly sad though

Semi-serious advice: Stop playing around with the little boys and find yourself a guy who knows what he's doing. You want to make a guys year? Find yourself a nice 30-something and rock his world for a couple months.

This too.

/ It's like this and like this and like that, y'all.
// Too old-school?
// Would serve if selected

3. Women think should understand that men are always ready and willing to have sex any time, any place.

There, fixed that one.

/what a stupid article

To whoever asked about John Irving and the condom thing....

I think it was The Water Method Man

They expect a lot from men in bed these days, and often expect men to be mind readers, rather than tell them what they want.

THIS.

You could probably explain how you like to be eaten out while we're doing that cuddling thing you like so much.

Just a thought.

kmoser: Yeesh. I've seen better advice here: Ten things women don't know about men and sex.

kmoser's link is definitely written by a guy. And pretty much spot on.

Mistake #11: Forgetting to remind him/her that "what we did is super-secret and never to mention this to mommy and daddy."

Mistake #11: Forgetting to remind him/her that "what we did is super-secret and never to mention this to mommy and daddy."

UNCLE RANDY?!

Oh and to throw it out there:

I'm both a guitarist and a bassist.

Cuddling? After sweaty etc. sex? Um, no, I think I just want to get a drink and sleep or watch something and not stick to someone. Bleh. Also, takes 20 mins? Are you kidding me? Someone must be doing something wrong. Then again, I know two women who have had less then ten orgasms total. And one who's never had one. She thinks she'll have one when she gets married. HAHAHAHA.

I'm a drummer. Is that bad?


/I know how to hit it

betona: I'm a drummer. Is that bad?


/I know how to hit it

It just means you have better rhythm than others.

i am amused that Ringshadow considers masturbation to be 'desperate';

as someone who works at a sex shoppe
i would say you are swinging to your 30% conservative side
my dear.

feeling good about feeling good
is a fine first step

4. Women don't understand how men can differentiate so easily between love and sex.
Ian: One of the reasons is that during sex, women produce lots of oxytocin, a hormone that stimulates a strong emotional connection. As a result, women are more emotionally integrated when it comes to sex. That's why casual sex and hookups often backfire for lots of women. Guys produce little to no oxytocin, and can easily have sex without any sense of emotional connection.

This guy has no idea what he is talking about. I'm guessing his degree in "Clinical Sexology" from the "American Academy of Clinical Sexologists" didn't cover much neuroendocrinology or neurobiology.

Although, I wish I had the opportunity to do my dissertation on oral sex as did Dr. Kerner. Sadly, it's not available online: American Academy of Clinical Sexologists Doctoral Dissertations (pops)

Anyway, suffice it to say that the role of oxytocin in behavior is incredibly less simple than he suggests and I would go as far as to say he is factually wrong based on the current research.

Good review if you're curious:
Bancroft J. The endocrinology of sexual arousal. J Endocrinol 2005;186:411-427.

Tracey: I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle! They're just worried their partner might see it as weak and them as vulnerable. I think a lot of the time a man suggests sex, what they're really after is the physical closeness a cuddle would provide

Why are you still here?

/Giggity

Not only were there only 8 things, page 2 started over with 1!

chairmenmeow47: this is so true. i guess i have been influenced by cheesy sitcoms or something because i can feel my brain go into error mode whenever a guy that i'm seeing isn't ready and willing. i've been trying to be more understanding, but sometimes it's not hard.

FTFY.

/will be shocked if somebody else hasn't done this already

I can't imagine why it didn't make the list, but coming home with mud on your underwear is a definite no-no.

Well everyone seems to have covered the "Tracey is a dumbass" bases.

mrEdude: That was bad wording on my part, really. It's really that I've never had the personal drive to do so, and honestly I have a pretty low-key sex drive. For what it's worth, I do have an interesting toy site bookmarked, but I haven't had the initiative to buy anything. *shrug* What can I say, I'm kind of vanilla in this regard.

impaler: This is how Ian should have responded to that:

That is the most satisfied look I've ever seen on a man's face.

Stray Cat Strut: Sounds like plenty of people have bad advice for you...

Look, when a man says he wants to have sex, he doesn't want to cuddle, he wants to stick his penis in your vagina. End of story.

Here's all the advice Stray Cat Strut will ever need.

Don't be ashamed. Don't be impatient. Enjoy your life, and when you're ready, you'll have the lay you've been waiting for. Don't smother him when that happens :)

1) wash, be clean, etc.

2) women have lots of body hang ups, even more so the cute ones so be nice you aren't superman either.

3) Not to sound like 'efficient German sex Homer' but if you cant get her off in 15 minutes from the panties coming down you are doing it wrong. Same goes for him but replace panties with 'stained and threadbare jockeys' (j/k)

4) sometimes you gotta fark her gently

5) your penis is a paintbrush or a spoon not a battering ram designed to hammer cervixes.

6) Cuddling is one thing, but I have a queen sized bed for a reason and that reason is so that you are not touching me too much while I sleep.

7) Drunken sex is mediocre sex

FriarTuck: Drunken sex is mediocre sex

I have to say that one of my most memorable romps with my wife was when we were both drunk. I wasn't smashed obviously, since I remember it.

All women's hurt, and nothing makes them feel cherished (and horny) like a good foot rub that continues to her ankles, then calves...

HA! Two of my teammates were remarking that their husbands' MO of initiating sex is the footrub. Both were all 'WTF'? Me, sounded good especially after a game or excruciatingly hard practice provided a calf/thigh/butt rub was included!

Whats this sex everyone keeps talking about?

/goes back to playing WoW

BobNesta420: I only date women who play woodwinds

so I play clarinet, b flat and Bass, I guess I have good air support and can blow a lot...wait

antidisestablishmentarianism: If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man. Some girls are just hard to get off adn some are wayy to easy.

Good practice for jaw and tounge strength is chewing gum. Once you can chew the same piece of gum for 12-14 hours straight, a little bit of female snacking is nothing. I have a bad habit of doing this.

Also, as has been mentioned here: TECHNIQUE IS EVERYTHING. You have two hands, you should bloody well use them. Also, don't attack the same spot for 20-30 minutes like it's a stain. Move around, more things than the clitoris are sensitive. And if you don't know about letters and numbers...shame on you for not knowing how to please your woman.

/Last time I went down on a woman we had to sleep on the couch because the mattress was soaked.
//Don't really miss her.
///I'm a single straight male.

Interesting the claim about guys taking two minutes hasn't been addressed by anyone. There have been times I wished I could be that quick, esp. for oral. Heck, I think my first time we quit after I'd been bangin' away for about 40 minutes...

/You ever get all keyed up and then you can't go?

I play the trombone. So, I'm coordinated but I have to stand 3 feet away from her.

1. Women don't understand why men don't like to cuddle.

Ian: After sex, men return to the pre-aroused state, women return to a semi-aroused state. For guys it's a total system shutdown. We just want to crash, whereas women want to connect, cuddle, converse, even have more sex. Women shouldn't assume that a guy is insensitive if he's more inclined to snore than snuggle. He's probably just shattered. Think of it as a compliment to the sex you just had.

Tracey: I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle! They're just worried their partner might see it as weak and them as vulnerable. I think a lot of the time a man suggests sex, what they're really after is the physical closeness a cuddle would provide

well, I'm a woman and I don't really care to cuddle because I'm sweaty and tired. I also don't want to have more sex either. When it's done right the first time, there's no energy left for seconds.

/husband plays guitar

Ringshadow: Push up your jaw. Now come here and sit down. What's your favorite Halo setting? I'm a KILL EVERYTHING person myself, but I'm good with CTF, and I like Ninjanaut in 2. Now I'm really conceding by even PLAYING Halo, what I saying?! Want to try We Love Katamari in coop mode? I've never been brave enough, but I bet we can figure it out. Oh screw it, start a LAN, I so call Undead in WCIII.

*blink blink*

So, uh, how you doin'? And where in MI? Oh, do you prefer halo 1 or 2 for LANs? Cause, I suck at 2. :(

/cute, short hair, nerdy
//marry me!

Stray Cat Strut: /never had an orgasm
//still a young'un so I imagine it'll come along one day


If you don't learn to give yourself one, don't expect any man to manage it.

get to it.

For guys, the SEX IS CUDDLING!

Daffydil

After reading your comments today on men and women, I have to say, I think you are a keeper! Wish I could find a woman that thinks like you. Hopefully one day I will.

I've had this thread open all day, and was checking it in between classes.

/*Insert the I love this thread so much image*

llewyrr: I've had this thread open all day, and was checking it in between classes.

/*Insert the I love this thread so much image*



There ya go.

GuyMontag

The jala. comment made me laugh. When I worked fast food as a teenager, that was the initation. We would make the new guy cut the jala. and not tell him to wash his hands with lemmon. We would laugh at the scream from the bathroom when they went to piss.