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(MSNBC)   10 biggest sex mistakes men and women make. Forgetting to take the condom off before returning home to your wife surprisingly absent from list   (today.msnbc.msn.com) divider line 381
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68720 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2007 at 4:20 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-09-24 06:57:48 PM
crazywisdom_uk: If you both don't pass out immediately afterwards then you're doing it wrong

Apparently I've never done it right...
 
2007-09-24 06:59:04 PM
88 keys/10 fingers = one minute waltz
1 cl t / 10 fingers = two minute movement

just sayin
 
2007-09-24 07:00:26 PM
vudukungfu: newmatic: These are not sex mistakes. These are cliched misconceptions about sex. Sex mistakes would sound more like:

1. Failing to locate the clit.
2. Using too much pressure on the clit during manual.
3. Using too little pressure on the dick during handjobs.
4. Using teeth during blowjobs.
5. Not enough lube.

Anyone else? Help me out here

Crying when doing it when I didn't ask you to.
Talking about anyone else and how thye did it before you came along.
Not respecting your partners limits.
Forgetting their safe word.
Losing the keys to the handcuffs.


Not setting one's cell phone on vibrate before insertion.
 
2007-09-24 07:01:01 PM
vudukungfu: I play those and piano, and mandolyn and banjo, and jaw harp, too.

Jaw harp? Awesome.
 
2007-09-24 07:01:58 PM
These are not sex mistakes. These are cliched misconceptions about sex.

No freakin' kidding!
 
2007-09-24 07:03:55 PM
Cuddling on a nice pair of DDs is pretty fantastic, I definitely enjoy it.
 
2007-09-24 07:05:15 PM
IdBeCrazyIf
So if you got a inky dinky, you'll need to step up your game with that tounge.


And?

...stay with me here, boys...

"Dildo" is not a dirty word.


/ok, it is, kind of, but you get my point.
 
2007-09-24 07:05:21 PM
Barakku: Ok, it's three next time for you.

Shocker?


Naw... that's 2+1. Not quite the same.
 
2007-09-24 07:13:19 PM
newmatic: These are not sex mistakes. These are cliched misconceptions about sex. Sex mistakes would sound more like:

1. Failing to locate the clit.
2. Using too much pressure on the clit during manual.
3. Using too little pressure on the dick during handjobs.
4. Using teeth during blowjobs.
5. Not enough lube.


Who are these guys that can't find the clit? It's not exactly difficult. I think it's just that they can't be bothered. I remember an old girlfriend telling me of her previous beau and the fact that she'd had to sit him down and inform him that she was not there for him to masturbate in, which always struck me as a wonderful turn of phrasing.
 
2007-09-24 07:15:52 PM
Hold on. Putting my asshole hat on.


Hey ladies, If I've got my face pressed in your vagina for a significant period of time, and you do get off, do me a favor, reciprocate.

and if you do reciprocate, at least PRETEND you know what you're doing.
 
2007-09-24 07:19:12 PM
MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE DURING/AFTER/BEFORE SEX:

~NOT LEAVING AFTER.
~NOT LETTING ME LEAVE AFTER
~BEING THE SAME WOMAN EVERY TIME.

mistakes men make during/after/before sex:
~not making her leave after
~not leaving after
~marriage
~sexual monogamy
 
2007-09-24 07:23:57 PM
FTA: Tracey: I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle! They're just worried their partner might see it as weak and them as vulnerable

This biatch's credentials don't make up for her lack of a cawk and ballz.

FAIL doesn't work with guys who let their wife put a strap-on in.
 
2007-09-24 07:26:02 PM
Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: PRETEND you know what you're doing.

Really? I would have thought that it would make more sense for me to admit that I don't know what I'm doing, so you can set me straight, and we can all have a lovely time. But whatever you say...
 
2007-09-24 07:32:30 PM
hockeyfarker I HAVE A HUGE PENIS.....

.....in your throat! just sayin'sall

re: newmatic 4. Using teeth during blowjobs.

Well they're not s'posed to chew it like gum! If administered correctly, teeth are a very good thing! ;)
 
2007-09-24 07:32:38 PM
Kar98

add about 13 years to your guess. don't worry, some day you'll be as slutty and depraved as I am.

I could be your daddy, i used to fark water buffalo back in the day.
 
2007-09-24 07:34:54 PM
hockeyfarker

Whoa......really sorry bout that!
 
2007-09-24 07:36:33 PM
newmatic:
"Dildo" is not a dirty word.


/ok, it is, kind of, but you get my point.


Actually, no, I don't :)

'splain!
 
2007-09-24 07:38:08 PM
antidisestablishmentarianism: Kar98

add about 13 years to your guess.


OK, Junior.
 
2007-09-24 07:38:51 PM
I'm sorry to have to say this ladies, but the biggest sex mistake women make is thinking they're even slightly in touch with reality regarding male motives. Everything women do they pass through the chick filter and will only give credence to motivations they can comprehend.

Like here's an example: Men don't mind physical closeness. When you call it cuddling...not so much. Remember, for men sex is in the mind. Cuddling is what babies do with their mothers. You bring anything into the picture that makes me think of babies or Mom and it's done for the night.

We didn't really want to talk to you that much before sex, why are you pissed because we don't want to afterwards?

If you really want to cuddle, be ready to fark again in 15 minutes. If we don't fall asleep we are going to get horny again, because that's what physical touching does to men.
 
2007-09-24 07:39:55 PM
GuyMontag: soo, qiuck question for all of you farkers (the kind who have actually had sex before)
Are there any "normal" women who are total whores in the sack? In my albeit limited experience, they are either batshiat crazy in real life & in the sack, or level headed throughout.

Just curious.


Dude, my fiance is such a goody goody and she is completely normal, except that she is going to marry me, but that is beside the point for our discussion here. Anyway she likes to be treated rough, and i do mean rough (first time i nailed her was on a pool table). She likes to have her hair pulled hard while i fark her from behind. she totally loves to be spanked and slapped, so hard in fact that it echoes through the house. If you met her though you would think, oh, that was a nice, normal chick.

/I call her horrible, mean things in bed in the heat of the moment and that kind of shiat sends her over the edge.
 
2007-09-24 07:40:41 PM
Wait, you guitar guys are either lying, don't play much or are doing something different because the calluses on my fingertips make foreplay with that hand difficult. They are rough and do not feel good on skin, especially a sensitive area.
 
2007-09-24 07:41:53 PM
I'm a geek girl, and I'm pretty open and blunt. So I've had a few interesting conversations.

Guy friend: What do you mean, you've never had an orgasm?!
Me: That.
Him: You don't masturbate?
Me: Nope.
Him: But but but WHY?!
Me: Why should I?
Him: *bewildered*
Me: I'm not that desperate. Sorry. New subject please.

Frankly, I don't get what the problem is. As long as I enjoy myself in bed, seriously, why do I care?

Mistake 11: Obsessing over a girl's lack of orgasm to the point she wants to kill you, then deciding to blame it on her.

/no, I don't need your advice
//but, thanks for your concern
///just had to get this off my friggin' chest
 
2007-09-24 07:47:08 PM
It makes me laugh when chicks think they understand guys....Tracey is a tard,in that regard. Nearly everything she said about guys is wrong. Ian was more on que with everything.
 
2007-09-24 07:49:00 PM
Wait, you guitar guys are either lying, don't play much or are doing something different because the calluses on my fingertips make foreplay with that hand difficult. They are rough and do not feel good on skin, especially a sensitive area.

However, keyboard players....
 
2007-09-24 07:49:28 PM
Always late to the fun threads. Bah.

Everyone here seems mighty confident in their skills. Where the fark are you guys hiding in real life?

/never had an orgasm
//still a young'un so I imagine it'll come along one day
 
2007-09-24 07:49:36 PM
Kar98

welcome to my ignore list, why don't you stay a while
 
2007-09-24 07:52:00 PM
Kar98

by your math, i would have had to impregnate a girl when i was 9 years old. if you're gonna look at the profile, read it.
 
2007-09-24 07:55:44 PM
Love cuddling after sex...for about five minutes, then it's shower time, and then more cuddling.

Love cuddling anytime really. And I'm 36, still love sex, just takes me a little longer to recharge now.
 
2007-09-24 07:56:58 PM
A friend of mine's husband once remarked to me that you should only have sex when the two of you are so unbelievably horny that you can't stand it anymore. All I could think was, "God, you selfish bastard".

/They divorced shortly afterwards (about a year after I told her this)
//He's now a girl
///No, I swear to you, I am NOT making this up!
 
2007-09-24 07:57:21 PM
And Stray Cat Strut's email explodes.
 
2007-09-24 07:59:56 PM
Kaiser Chieftess: Am I the only chick that doesn't prefer oral (receiving, not performing)? It's nice and all as a precursor to better things, but, I don't know...just doesn't get me there.

My wife is the exact same way.

She gets off from oral, but oral alone is not enough to satisfy her for the evening.
 
2007-09-24 08:03:08 PM
Yeesh. I've seen better advice here: Ten things women don't know about men and sex.
 
2007-09-24 08:04:09 PM
Stray Cat Strut

A pretty young-un... and I am curious that way, so if you're ever in DC, drop me a line!

/Firm believer in a woman's touch.
 
2007-09-24 08:04:37 PM
Stray Cat Strut:
/never had an orgasm
//still a young'un so I imagine it'll come along one day


It'll be pretty hard, what with your nursing profession, youth, and stunning good looks. :P

------Lineup starts here------
 
2007-09-24 08:10:52 PM
newmatic

Heh, I'll keep that in mind! ;)

Flavivirus

I'm flattered :) But seriously...in the real world, it just isn't happening.

/not too worried, this thread makes me slightly sad though
 
2007-09-24 08:11:02 PM
Ringshadow: Mistake 11: Obsessing over a girl's lack of orgasm to the point she wants to kill you, then deciding to blame it on her.

This.

/stop pressuring meee!
// what are you boys fighting about up there?
///ah, never mind
 
2007-09-24 08:16:22 PM
Stray Cat Strut: Always late to the fun threads. Bah.

Everyone here seems mighty confident in their skills. Where the fark are you guys hiding in real life?

/never had an orgasm
//still a young'un so I imagine it'll come along one day


maybe if you put on some hockey eqipment and laid out a string of back bacon sandwiches, jelly doughnuts and beers to ur bedroom ud get more action.

/blame canada.
 
2007-09-24 08:16:29 PM
Stray Cat Strut - I happily volunteer as well...
 
F42
2007-09-24 08:17:52 PM
Stray Cat Strut: /never had an orgasm

You're doing it wrong
 
2007-09-24 08:19:02 PM
lilplatinum: I do like when the dude says why guys dont wanna cuddle and the chick says "I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle!"

Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..


WHile I disagree with her, I think she may have seen a larger amount of men in bed than he has.

But I think they were lying to her.
 
2007-09-24 08:19:06 PM
fark from home: Stray Cat Strut: Always late to the fun threads. Bah.

Everyone here seems mighty confident in their skills. Where the fark are you guys hiding in real life?

/never had an orgasm
//still a young'un so I imagine it'll come along one day

maybe if you put on some hockey eqipment and laid out a string of back bacon sandwiches, jelly doughnuts and beers to ur bedroom ud get more action.

/blame canada.


You kiddin'? We're champs up here. Precious little else to do in the wintry months.

Also you left out a cup of Tim's and a Du Maurier afterwards.
 
2007-09-24 08:21:36 PM
hockeyfarker: Like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, biatches

Meaning you get all freaked out and have to have your hand held by your friends to "enter the tunnel", Danny?
 
2007-09-24 08:24:32 PM
Ringshadow: I'm a geek girl, and I'm pretty open and blunt. So I've had a few interesting conversations.

Guy friend: What do you mean, you've never had an orgasm?!
Me: That.
Him: You don't masturbate?
Me: Nope.
Him: But but but WHY?!
Me: Why should I?
Him: *bewildered*
Me: I'm not that desperate. Sorry. New subject please.

Frankly, I don't get what the problem is. As long as I enjoy myself in bed, seriously, why do I care?

Mistake 11: Obsessing over a girl's lack of orgasm to the point she wants to kill you, then deciding to blame it on her.

/no, I don't need your advice
//but, thanks for your concern
///just had to get this off my friggin' chest


www.emotioneric.com (new window)
 
2007-09-24 08:35:44 PM
Worth mentioning again:

www.akarally.com

Wait till the very end.. best part is they subconsciously associate the finger in the pooper to their blowout orgasm; a gateway to buttsecks!
 
2007-09-24 08:45:21 PM
The Southern Dandy:

What?

Push up your jaw. Now come here and sit down. What's your favorite Halo setting? I'm a KILL EVERYTHING person myself, but I'm good with CTF, and I like Ninjanaut in 2. Now I'm really conceding by even PLAYING Halo, what I saying?! Want to try We Love Katamari in coop mode? I've never been brave enough, but I bet we can figure it out. Oh screw it, start a LAN, I so call Undead in WCIII.

Better yet, let's drum up the internet and see who's touring through here. Do you like progressive metal?

/all I'm saying is, there are fun things OTHER then sex
 
2007-09-24 08:49:40 PM
Stray Cat Strut: /never had an orgasm

Yeah, I had the same problem until I was twenty-two or twenty-three.
 
2007-09-24 08:55:38 PM
antidisestablishmentarianism: not to brag but...

I got my hat-trick last week!

wyltoknow 2007-09-24 03:46:55 PM
This is the single, biggest mistake even experienced male lovers make. They underestimate how long women take to orgasm. The statistic most cited for oral sex (which is the fastest, most direct route) is 20 minutes.

20 minutes? Are you farking kidding me? The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.

If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man. Some girls are just hard to get off adn some are wayy to easy.




Husband plays the French Horn and trumpet. Doesn't need to go that long when you have real talent.

/blush
 
2007-09-24 09:00:58 PM
Crispy

But I haven't met one who can get ME off without me putting in any effort.

It all depends how strong her kegel muscles are.
 
2007-09-24 09:07:19 PM
wyltoknow: 20 minutes? Are you farking kidding me? The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.

I accept your challenge!



www.traceycox.com

/Man hands
//Just sayin...
///I like chicks with small hands - makes my d!ck look bigger
 
2007-09-24 09:09:37 PM
Stray Cat Strut: I'm flattered :) But seriously...in the real world, it just isn't happening.

/not too worried, this thread makes me slightly sad though


Semi-serious advice: Stop playing around with the little boys and find yourself a guy who knows what he's doing. You want to make a guys year? Find yourself a nice 30-something and rock his world for a couple months.
 
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