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(MSNBC)   10 biggest sex mistakes men and women make. Forgetting to take the condom off before returning home to your wife surprisingly absent from list   ( today.msnbc.msn.com) divider line
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68734 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2007 at 4:20 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



381 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-09-24 03:39:47 PM  
I don't think forgetting to wake her up is a mistake .. but I'm no expert.
 
2007-09-24 03:40:15 PM  
in other news Ian is gay
 
2007-09-24 03:46:55 PM  
This is the single, biggest mistake even experienced male lovers make. They underestimate how long women take to orgasm. The statistic most cited for oral sex (which is the fastest, most direct route) is 20 minutes.

20 minutes? Are you farking kidding me? The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.
 
2007-09-24 03:51:32 PM  
I thought this was going to be a list of my exes...
 
2007-09-24 03:51:48 PM  
The only issue is that sometimes she comes to.

/not missing comma
//no misspellings, either
 
2007-09-24 03:52:11 PM  
There is never a wrong time to stick it in her pooper.
 
2007-09-24 03:52:14 PM  
20 minutes? By then I've been asleep for 18 minutes.
 
2007-09-24 03:53:16 PM  
I do like when the dude says why guys dont wanna cuddle and the chick says "I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle!"

Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..
 
2007-09-24 03:55:35 PM  
lilplatinum: I do like when the dude says why guys dont wanna cuddle and the chick says "I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle!"

Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..


I bet she is hot. And I also wager that the guys tells her that shes funny too.
 
2007-09-24 03:56:00 PM  
hmm.. theres only 8 mistakes there. maybe taking your condom off was number 9?
 
2007-09-24 03:57:10 PM  
It always bothers me when she tries to make small talk while we're waiting for my credit card transaction to go through.
 
2007-09-24 03:59:40 PM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves: It always bothers me when she tries to make small talk while we're waiting for my credit card transaction to go through.

FTW
 
2007-09-24 04:02:50 PM  
not to brag but...

I got my hat-trick last week!

wyltoknow 2007-09-24 03:46:55 PM
This is the single, biggest mistake even experienced male lovers make. They underestimate how long women take to orgasm. The statistic most cited for oral sex (which is the fastest, most direct route) is 20 minutes.

20 minutes? Are you farking kidding me? The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.


If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man. Some girls are just hard to get off adn some are wayy to easy.
 
2007-09-24 04:07:26 PM  
The Stealth Hippopotamus: lilplatinum: I do like when the dude says why guys dont wanna cuddle and the chick says "I disagree with this. I think men do like to cuddle!"

Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..

I bet she is hot. And I also wager that the guys tells her that shes funny too.


www.traceycox.com

I can't see if the knees are too pointy..
 
2007-09-24 04:08:17 PM  
The Stealth Hippopotamus: in other news Ian is gay

This
 
2007-09-24 04:16:29 PM  
antidisestablishmentarianism: If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man.

Truly. Though, that's why God also gave us fingers. And, other extremities I guess.
 
2007-09-24 04:21:37 PM  
lilplatinum: Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..

I have a dick and I like to cuddle.

antidisestablishmentarianism: If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man.

Work smarter, not harder. You can keep your tongue still and move your whole head around using your neck for a bit. Rest your tongue a bit doing that and get back into the game, sport!
 
2007-09-24 04:24:57 PM  
We just want to crash, whereas women want to connect, cuddle, converse, even have more sex.

Um, no. If I'm still awake immediately afterward, the sex was 'meh' and I'm headed out the door.
 
2007-09-24 04:25:42 PM  
jbuist: Work smarter, not harder. You can keep your tongue still and move your whole head around using your neck for a bit. Rest your tongue a bit doing that and get back into the game, sport!

I can bench 120lbs, and tongue-curl 200.

lilplatinum: Really honey? Well I think the opinion from the person with a dick holds slightly more credibility than your disagreement..

No kidding. The only response after a statement like that is a look in incredulity, followed by a request for pie.
 
2007-09-24 04:27:20 PM  
Women don't understand why men don't like to cuddle.

Why does everyone assume women want to cuddle after sex? Just give me a cigarette, let me finish my beer and let me go to sleep. ;)
 
2007-09-24 04:27:37 PM  
conception?

/snipped and lovin' it.
 
2007-09-24 04:28:19 PM  
#10: Not swallowing
 
2007-09-24 04:29:19 PM  
Somebody told me once that guitarists are a prize because of the finger dexterity. My wife said, "Yes, and you play the harmonica at the same time!". There's the key boys. Play guitar and harmonica.
 
2007-09-24 04:29:32 PM  
There were only 8 issues there, not 10.
 
2007-09-24 04:30:19 PM  
wyltoknow: The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.

I hope that you realize that your statement gave me a vision of a back of a van, and a knife.
 
2007-09-24 04:30:25 PM  
Look, I've got no problem with cuddling. But right after sex I am usually hot and sweaty and tired, and I just need to cool down for a bit. Everybody just relax for a few minutes, maybe flop your hand over next to mine if you can manage to move. We can spoon when I'm not sweating like a Stampede wrestler.
 
2007-09-24 04:30:28 PM  
Men and women are different? Ric Romero on the scene in five, four...
 
2007-09-24 04:30:34 PM  
As relationships progress over time, women can't assume that guys are Pavlovian dogs that want to have sex every time you ring the bell.

That's it, I'm taking away your man card.
 
2007-09-24 04:30:34 PM  
Opening the door.
 
2007-09-24 04:30:40 PM  
I forgot to ask if she was into scat, I just went for it.

\sorry sis
 
2007-09-24 04:30:42 PM  
I think a lot of the time a man suggests sex, what they're really after is the physical closeness a cuddle would provide

jeebus. fail.
 
2007-09-24 04:31:01 PM  
The statistic most cited for oral sex (which is the fastest, most direct route) is 20 minutes.

Someone's doing it wrong. 5 minutes and then another one every couple minutes later. And the women I've been with had no problem telling me when they weren't getting there. Tip of the tongue or sucking on the clit, two fingers inside rubbing the G spot. Rub her belly with the other hand. How difficult is that?

Although there was a 17 year old once who never had one and I was down there for an hour and it never happened. Me = FAIL
 
2007-09-24 04:31:05 PM  
i210.photobucket.com
 
2007-09-24 04:31:47 PM  
Never look at this site while loading, it gave me a headache.


9. Reading crappy FA and believing what they say.
10. Not sticking it in her pooper.
 
2007-09-24 04:31:55 PM  
3. Women think that men are always ready and willing to have sex any time, any place.

this is so true. i guess i have been influenced by cheesy sitcoms or something because i can feel my brain go into error mode whenever a guy that i'm seeing isn't ready and willing. i've been trying to be more understanding, but sometimes it's hard.
 
2007-09-24 04:32:47 PM  
People forget that the brain is the largest erogenous zone. On you, maybe.
 
2007-09-24 04:32:47 PM  
clancifer: #10: Not swallowing


#9: Not washing.
 
2007-09-24 04:32:49 PM  
antidisestablishmentarianism: If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man.

After about 5-6 minutes, your tongue will become sore. Press on through and after about 2-3 minutes it'll stop. You'll have worked out a rhythm that will be able to last you another 30 without hurting - though you may feel like you've got lockjaw in the morning. Eventually you won't get sore at all.

Also note, shifting patterns is usually bad unless it's done slowly. It turns it from stimulating to tickling. Find a maintainable pace, and slow down somewhat when you change patterns, pressure, etc, or you'll be working from square one.

Also important: No need to brutalize 100% of the time, your tongue can make many shapes, shave beforehand - your stubble scratches and that's only good for the first 5 minutes - then it hurts.
 
2007-09-24 04:32:54 PM  
Rickenbacker: Somebody told me once that guitarists are a prize because of the finger dexterity. My wife said, "Yes, and you play the harmonica at the same time!". There's the key boys. Play guitar and harmonica.

Hmm...I play violin. Does that help at all?
 
2007-09-24 04:32:55 PM  
NikolaiFarkoff: The only issue is that sometimes she comes to.

/not missing comma
//no misspellings, either


took me a second, but once I got it, I giggled.
 
2007-09-24 04:33:00 PM  
wyltoknow: 20 minutes? Are you farking kidding me? The longest I've seen is maybe 10 minutes, and that was when either I or the SO was very tired and stressed at the time.

Had an ex that took a damned hour of my best, and a few of her other ex's (yes, we talk) agreed with about that statistic.

Very happy to be with a woman that I know well enough to make it take an hour, or a minute, depending on what our mood is.
 
2007-09-24 04:33:18 PM  
#1 Wiping your dick on her curtains

img.villagephotos.com
 
2007-09-24 04:33:18 PM  
home.nyc.rr.com
I see what you did there, Subby!
 
2007-09-24 04:33:38 PM  
Daffydil: Women don't understand why men don't like to cuddle.

Why does everyone assume women want to cuddle after sex? Just give me a cigarette, let me finish my beer and let me go to sleep. ;)


Thats how my wife is, once we're done or she's done she'll just get off and go rest. Sit on the couch in our bedroom and just watch sometimes.

antidisestablishmentarianism: If you can keep your tounge twirling for 20mins to 1/2 hour without stopping, then you are truely an Iron man. Some girls are just hard to get off adn some are wayy to easy.

20 minutes is nothing, Ive been able to go for an hour at times if Im really into it. There is this girl we play with and I swear to you, she tastes and smells like strawberries. Both of us could literally eat her for hours on end.
 
2007-09-24 04:34:03 PM  
Seems like this headline needs some Mel Brooks.

Behold these 10... (crash)...

8! 8 biggest sex mistakes!
 
2007-09-24 04:34:09 PM  
...the ashtray keeps slidin' off her ass.

/Thanks, Dice.
 
2007-09-24 04:34:34 PM  
The cuddling trick:
Wrap her in your arms, then fall asleep. Everybody wins!
 
2007-09-24 04:34:42 PM  
What a BS article.

As a Man, I'm ALWAYS ready to have sex, with the right girl. The ugly fat wannabe whore at the end of the bar, well we'll see how much I drink.
 
2007-09-24 04:34:44 PM  
clancifer: #10: Not swallowing

^That

"Look, girl... It either goes down your throat, or in your face. My stomach is right out of the question!"
 
2007-09-24 04:34:53 PM  
"Somebody told me once that guitarists are a prize because of the finger dexterity"

THIS!

\Dating a bass player.
 
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