nukeim: Is there nothing he couldn't do?

He couldn't microwave a burrito to be so hot that he could not eat it.

Look kids, you don't want to follow this path. Trust me on this, it's an empty one, a dead-end, a one-way ticket to Nowheresville. Sure, it starts nicely enough: you're hanging out with your friends at a local bar on a wintry pre-December-college-graduation-day night, throwing back a few (OK, more than a few), shooting the breeze, marveling at how empty the town's become; and then you're staggering home, knowing that everybody's coming back to your place afterwards. And you're passing the local church, you know, that big stone one on the corner that always has the loud music Sunday mornings that wakes you up to face your hangover, and they've got that Nativity scene outside, and you're looking at it with your friend Greg and thinking, yeah, that Baby Jesus could probably fit inside your coat. Probably. Yeah, and it does, and so what? You're not thinking. You're on that train. And so, yeah, you bring Jesus home, and yeah, OK, you set him up on the stump in the backyard so people can take shots at him with the BB gun you keep in the closet, and yeah, you know what happens then, right? Yeah, Marc nails him right between the eyes, but hey, that happens? Right? Jesus, a bullet hole between his eyes and yeah, you'll be standing around, laughing at how funny that is, and then when people really start arriving what happens? Right. You hide him under the sink, that's what happens, under the sink with all the bleach and the sponges and the Roach Motel that nobody's bothered to check in about seven months. And you know what's coming, of course, that train's going full speed now. You know it's only a matter of time before someone seems him, and then you're having to say that, yeah, OK, so maybe he does have a big hole in his back for the plug and a big hole in the bottom for the lightbulb and now a small hole in his forehead, and yeah, maybe that does kind of work out so it's like a little shotgun hole and maybe you could put foil on that hole in his back but that doesn't mean you have to, right? Right? Well, wrong, you have to, because you're on that train and yeah, it's real funny when you're all sitting around in a big stoned circle taking bong hits out of Jesus, isn't it? Yeah, real funny. And then you're waking up the next morning and stuffing him full of whatever change and random dollar bills you can find in the house and taping some note to his chest apologizing for stealing him and driving out to the church while they're all inside and leaving him propped there against the front door. Is that where you want to be? Is that what you want your life? Just stop now. Stop before it's too late. While you still have time. You'll thank me. Trust me. Now scram, kid, I got work to do.

Why is Jesus being squeezed by a snake and the snake's head is bursting out of his chest? Also Jesus seems to have 2 small brains as boobs.

Well I for one hope they catch the sacreligious bastard and then ...

/wait, what?
//D'oh, sorry markstev717

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Where is your god now?

There...and there....a little more there...over there...etc...

I can understand why the person only damaged the bust of Jesus. If you have a choice of having Jesus or Lucifer pissed off at you, I would rather it be Jesus. Lucifer does not seem to be the forgiving type.