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(CapAlert)   Flashing Red Light of Badness for Left Behind 2: "high slit skirt showing much more of a woman's leg than might be considered polite"   ( divider line
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14380 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2002 at 5:54 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

78 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-09-24 01:30:21 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Don't fugg with them !
HPZ [TotalFark]
2002-09-24 02:09:21 PM  
In other news, "Vagina" added to anatomy of "leg." No longer a reproductive organ.
2002-09-24 03:54:23 PM  
Charlize must be very impolite then.
[image from too old to be available]
2002-09-24 05:58:48 PM  
Child care is not one word.
2002-09-24 06:00:07 PM  
Farked already ?
2002-09-24 06:00:36 PM  
wait a sec, there was a Left Behind 1???

Did that one have a short skirt as well?

Cool names for the characters though.
Chloe Steele, Buck Williams, Pastor Bruce Barnes and Captain Ray Steele
2002-09-24 06:00:45 PM  
The longer the leg, the higher the slit.
2002-09-24 06:01:22 PM  
under crime/wanton violence:
death due to injuries, one

Does this mean you are going to hell if you die from injuries sustained in a car crash, or if someone shoots you?
2002-09-24 06:01:30 PM  
I didn't think CAP was able to be Farked. You know, since they have God an' all...
2002-09-24 06:02:50 PM  
Left Behind: Tribulation Force is a very sobering accounting of what they who chose to reject our Lord can expect after the King has collected His Bride.

God/Jesus wants to put his one eyed monster in us and get us "preggers?"

10 points to the person who knows which Stephen King character uses that word.
2002-09-24 06:03:22 PM  
Let's have a big shout for CAP and their wonderful reviews, protecting us from all the evils of the world. And what the hell does 'burn injury gore, repeatedly' mean?
2002-09-24 06:03:27 PM  
The site must have a heathen filter. Now get your asses to church!!
2002-09-24 06:04:10 PM  
farked in the bum fasr
2002-09-24 06:04:10 PM  
wow, the picture just came up, is that Kirk Cameron?? I was wondering what he was doing now.

Don't forget about Left Behind 3 currently in production.
2002-09-24 06:04:12 PM  
If even the "Left Behind" movies could not fit them...
Anyway, I heard the first movie was just a pile of crap. Has anybody seen it?

There used to be at least good or very good christian or religious movies (Charlton Heston, here I come!). But now, every christian movie seem to be cheesy stuff, with bad story writing and acting.
2002-09-24 06:04:25 PM  
I know Pam Anderson used it in her special "video"
2002-09-24 06:05:39 PM  
Want to know what the funny thing is? CAP is more articulate than the authors of the Left Behind series. Seriously.

That is not a good sign.
2002-09-24 06:05:46 PM  
Oh dear, an ankle! Imagine the scandal!
[image from too old to be available]
Well, I never!
2002-09-24 06:06:04 PM  
* "God is dead."

No problem here:
2002-09-24 06:06:15 PM  

Are you talking about Megiddo: The Omega Code 2??

That movie was ass from what I understand.
2002-09-24 06:07:45 PM  
2002-09-24 06:08:06 PM  
Mel Gibson who is a born again nut is making a film about the last 12 hours of Jeebus life.

He's making it in Aramic only with no sub titles. Basically you will just see people babbling for two hours and Jeebus mythic passion.

He thinks people will pay to sit there listening to Aramic dialogue.

Sad things is plenty of Jeebus freaks will.
2002-09-24 06:08:29 PM  
I just got one of these total fark accounts, and all I gotta say is, damn there is a lot of links.
and umm i wanted to see that little logo by my name :)

2002-09-24 06:08:34 PM  
Are you talking about Megiddo: The Omega Code 2??

No, I am really talking about the "Left Behind" movie. I read lots reviews, and it was shared between two opinions:
- the best movie in the world (fundamentalist christians)
- a piece of shiat (everybody else)
2002-09-24 06:08:41 PM  

Why does Charlize Theron, Goddess among all women, look like a used up drag-queen in the above picture?

I think I've been at work too long...

2002-09-24 06:11:29 PM  
Ahh, yes, the venerable "Left Behind" series..
The ultimate masturbatory fantasy of every dorky Junior High Jebus freak who was laughed at and humiliated whenever he tried to trot out his religious delusions in a desperate plea for attention. Oh yes little Johnny, one day they'll pay for laughing at your Holy Heros action figures!
I believe this one is subtitled:
Left Behind 2: That's for making me cry!
All of it built on a perversion of biblical scriptures that is flatly rejected by all serious scholars.
And the scary part--its one of the most popular book series of all time.
2002-09-24 06:14:23 PM  
I remember hearing that Mel flies in a priest for Catholic mass in Latin every weekend for his family. Yes, only his family.

Lil' Johnny: "Mr. Column, what happens to washed up actors and actresses?"

FifthColumn: "They become cultists, lil' Johnny."
2002-09-24 06:16:11 PM  
I'd love to see a CAP review of the Bible. I bet it would get a big old flashing red light as well. Stonings, implied homosexual behavior, mass destruction, torture, slavery, incest, numerous offenses to God, etc etc.
2002-09-24 06:16:56 PM  
Anyone watch "Carman: The Champion?" I'd like to rent it someday for laughs. I'd like to see that foofy-haired faggot to bust open some jaws for "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus." I wonder if he sings in that movie, too....

I used to watch Jack Van Impe on Sunday nights to see how close we are to "the rapture." Watching those Christian stations on TV is great comedy, also.

Damn, if that's gonna be my company, change my destination to hell, please. I mean, who's more interesting to hang with, Hitler or St. Peter. Case closed!
2002-09-24 06:17:47 PM  
Site's farked!
2002-09-24 06:21:17 PM  

God/Jesus wants to put his one eyed monster in us and get us "preggers?"

10 points to the person who knows which Stephen King character uses that word.

I give up. Given the context, I'm assuming it's someone from The Stand, but I can't remember if it was Nadine or Frannie. Makes more sense to have been Fran though.
2002-09-24 06:22:35 PM  
I think I read an article in Penthouse a couple of years ago that said the Tim LaHaye (One of the authors of this farking asinine series) favored doing away with our democratic form of government as we know it and replacing it with a strict Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy, kinda like a monster raving Christain fundie version of the Taliban.

Yes, I actually read the articles. It gives you something to do once you have finished looking at the pictorials.
2002-09-24 06:22:51 PM  

Here you go. It's only Genesis, but it gets the point across.
2002-09-24 06:23:13 PM  
Lore at did a great job with 'Movies That Will Piss Off The CAPAlert Guy'

The IRON GIANT got the flashing red light of sin for 'impudent haircut' or something.

What really worries me is the people who USE this 'service' instead of mocking it. How many subscribers has he got now, anyway?
2002-09-24 06:24:21 PM  
I use to watch Kenneth Copeland when I was a kid (it was on at 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning) because Sailor Moon wasn't on. Anyway that guy has to be the biggest money-changer in the church I could have known at the time. Still is - and his kids are, too.

What was it that their savior said about money changers and those who turn to organized religion? Oh, nevermind. It's always ignored anyway.

*Anyone watch McGee and Me? What the hell is it with these fundutainment shows and movies?
2002-09-24 06:25:36 PM  
LazarusLong42: Yeah, it was from The Stand/Frannie. You get 10 points.

Now I have to think up a new question :(
2002-09-24 06:26:48 PM  
time magazine had this whole feature on "left behind" a while back and it was so disgusting that my boyfriend couldn't even finish reading it. they interviewed many fans of the books who said that they are kind of of happy when bad things like sept 11th happen because it's a sign that the world is one step closer to the second coming and soon they will be with their lord -- they also use revelations to justify supporting the state of isreal reguardless of it's actions because the bible says that when judgement day comes the jews will be in control of isreal. apparently these people do not understand what a prophecy is -- i don't think you can force all of the factors and then make the second coming happen -- i don't think the jews being in charge of isreal is ment to be seen as the cause on the second coming. not that i'm any sort of theologian -- or any sort of writer -- man these comment is jumbled, sorry folks.
2002-09-24 06:28:50 PM  
I can't wait for the rapture... when everyone *poof*s away, I'm going to swipe their stuff.
2002-09-24 06:30:40 PM  
Padraig: I saw it on video, not knowing 1. who Kirk Camreon (or whatever the hell his name) is, 2. that this was some biblical babble. This was easily the worst movie I've seen in the last 5 years.

To counter act the ill effects, Go Here
2002-09-24 06:32:08 PM  
And BTW, what is supposed to be the year that Christ comes to Earth anyhow. Last time I heard, it was around the year 2012. I'm sure before that, they were predicting the year 2000. Heh, I wonder how many times they'll change their predictions?
2002-09-24 06:37:11 PM  
It was originally 2000, then when it never happend 2001. Now I guess they just tack on 12 years and wait.

Of course there are people (Christians) who say that the second coming already happend a long time ago (reclaiming of kingdom and all), but lack of historical records allowed it to go unnoticed by historians/theologists.

Oh, and then there are the "clone Jesus" freaks who say man will be his own savior (by cloning their dead one).
2002-09-24 06:40:46 PM  
Hey goddammit. I thought it was about women wearing slit skirts showing too much leg.
Fricken bible thumpers.........
2002-09-24 06:44:00 PM  
Woo! 10 points!

... Where do I turn them in? :)

On another note: But... how can you clone Jesus if Jesus says cloning and stem-cell research are wrong?
2002-09-24 06:48:12 PM  
The T-shrits are great...Jesus and Nascar on the same shirt my fav
2002-09-24 06:48:21 PM  
If you look at what CAP stands for, it says ChildCare Action Project. It's made as a review containing every single thing that any parent would find mildly objectionable for a child to see so that there are no surprises. Imagine if he left out the skirt thing, then the service would be useless, as it would not contain every single farking thing on the planet someone finds objectionable
2002-09-24 06:54:45 PM  
Thats it! If Jesus ever comes back, I am signing up with the forces of darkness.
2002-09-24 07:04:01 PM  
As a Christian, I'll say this,
"Cap - How bout a nice warm cup of STFU."
2002-09-24 07:05:54 PM  
Some believe that innocent people who died in peril on Sept 11th is a good thing because it brings THEM closer to their god?

Great googly moogly.
2002-09-24 07:20:41 PM  
The ironic thing is that he is using a medium that carries more pr0n than Ron Jermys history (respectivly).
2002-09-24 07:26:43 PM  
Man, some of you people don't read the articles, huh? If you read the summary section, he mentions that he LIKES the film. He RECCOMENDS it to everyone. The reason it got RED LIGHTED is for the violence, which parents will have to EXPLAIN to their kids. The kids will then gobble all this religious crud up because they're STUPID and DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. And I for some reason ENJOY making some of these words IN CAPS...

Seriously, the grading that the guy uses puts the movie on the PG level. He says so himself.
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