FARK.com: (3081661) Man assaults wife with onion

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		Man assaults wife with onion (desmoinesregister.com)		208
		More: Strange

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11209 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2007 at 3:23 PM | Favorite | share:

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BZWingZero		2007-09-20 02:14:54 PM

Onions are supposed to be on the belt, not hurled through the air.

/Was once a fashion at a time.

NikolaiFarkoff		2007-09-20 02:15:28 PM

Passersby were amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood

TheOnion		2007-09-20 02:32:53 PM

NikolaiFarkoff: Passersby were amazed at the unusually large amounts of blood

Nice. I hope most people get that

Eddie Adams from Torrance		2007-09-20 02:34:28 PM

bitteroldman		2007-09-20 02:52:34 PM

I have said it over and over!
That is not how you do a donkey punch!
Its the kidneys, people! Not the back of the head!

Boritom		2007-09-20 03:11:19 PM

He was a poor student of history, thinking that, in war, Native Americans would scallop their enemies in battle.

MAXAMOUS		2007-09-20 03:25:13 PM

Did she cry?

AnnoyingKidNextDoor		2007-09-20 03:25:14 PM

Liberal media = dangerous weapon.

phlegmmo		2007-09-20 03:25:37 PM

Did it bring her to tears?

tortilla burger		2007-09-20 03:26:12 PM

What in the world is he looking at?

ganzygrl		2007-09-20 03:26:38 PM

I'm a shallot, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

jx		2007-09-20 03:26:54 PM

she was probably talking back and since they were obviously in the kitchen that's all that was close to hand.

The_Sponge		2007-09-20 03:26:57 PM

LOL ONIONPAD.

overlord_mike		2007-09-20 03:27:05 PM

tortilla burger: What in the world is he looking at?

imaginary space alien?

brap		2007-09-20 03:27:08 PM

And to think, some people thought I was kidding when I was waxing poetic about the rash of vegetable-related beatings...

phlegmmo		2007-09-20 03:27:30 PM

It left a radish bruise on her.

Daffydil		2007-09-20 03:28:13 PM

AnnoyingKidNextDoor

that is exactly what had come to my mind...;)

NineInchNader		2007-09-20 03:28:35 PM

What in the world is he looking at?

Dr. Colossos. I should know, I'm in Des Moines right now and we've had a lot of problems with that big bastard lately.

DaBishop		2007-09-20 03:28:59 PM

Jesus Christmas, it's Al Pacino!

Herder		2007-09-20 03:29:09 PM

Notice he didn't get bail?

He should have shot her in the back, unplugged the phone, drove 500 miles with the kid and claimed she abused him.

*Offer not valid for penis carrying citizens.

Rickenbacker		2007-09-20 03:29:13 PM

That's why I don't wear my onions on a belt...I wear them in a holster! Quick draw on her a couple times, and she wises up.

Treetop1000		2007-09-20 03:29:14 PM

the comments section there did have a mention of Fark, but it has since scrolled into oblivion.

NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET		2007-09-20 03:29:15 PM

tortilla burger: What in the world is he looking at?

He's thinkin Arbys

bugmn99		2007-09-20 03:29:33 PM

When onions are outlawed...

Mrs. Kravitz		2007-09-20 03:29:57 PM

Tortilla Burger: What in the world is he looking at?

Anger Management Classes and community service, probably.

/Hey Oooo
//Try the veal

LovnMooseful		2007-09-20 03:30:12 PM

tortilla burger: What in the world is he looking at?

He's thinking he should have used a rutabaga.

smage		2007-09-20 03:30:15 PM

James Izzolena, 54, of 3515 Sheridan Ave., was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27

Niiice.

puma1505		2007-09-20 03:30:16 PM

Sure Farksalot		2007-09-20 03:30:20 PM

oni-owned!

/or should that be pnioned?
//onipowned?
///my head is starting to hurt.
////stop throwing onions at my head, dammit!

Edrondol		2007-09-20 03:30:22 PM

There's more to this story. The more layers you peel away, the more interesting it becomes.

/I hope someone else gets this.
//People also like parfaits.

brozer		2007-09-20 03:30:47 PM

the Register articles do seem to get greenlit a lot.

//representing Beaverdale

SpeckledJim		2007-09-20 03:31:11 PM

Rhizomed!

tigobitties		2007-09-20 03:31:23 PM

Dang, all of these battered women and all this time i've been eating mine plain.

boonfarker		2007-09-20 03:31:56 PM

I was somewhat hoping the byline was by Doyle Redland.

FrancoFile		2007-09-20 03:32:03 PM

Did you RTFA? He's 54, she's 27.
a) mail-order bride
b) stripper
c) former student

rememberzappa		2007-09-20 03:32:25 PM

Hope he apeels this if he gets convicted.

Ella Anne		2007-09-20 03:32:34 PM

Tortilla Burger: What in the world is he looking at?

Don't you know? That's the new myspace picture fad.

Supercheeks		2007-09-20 03:32:47 PM

I saw "Man assults wife with opinion".

overlord_mike		2007-09-20 03:33:29 PM

NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET: tortilla burger: What in the world is he looking at?

He's thinkin Arbys

winner

tweekster		2007-09-20 03:33:42 PM

Supercheeks: I saw "Man assults wife with opinion".

We would have seen a follow up article then : "Woman castrates husband"

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2007-09-20 03:33:58 PM

Rapscallion.

Or just plain scallion. Whichever.

Boobies!!!		2007-09-20 03:34:41 PM

He doesn't like that headline.

some_wild-eyed_8-foot_tall_maniac		2007-09-20 03:34:44 PM

That's just bloomin' silly.

The_Original_Roxtar		2007-09-20 03:34:47 PM

puma1505: JUICE!

brap		2007-09-20 03:35:13 PM

Hey Bob, what should I charge this guy with, he just assaulted his wife with an onion.

Hmmmm. Battery onion, better book him with....Bloomin' Onion.

- Cue chorus of slidewhistles, groans, and Barney Miller flatuence.

EdgeRunner		2007-09-20 03:35:24 PM

I have always seen, in the back of my mind, cheese and onions...

I Said		2007-09-20 03:35:39 PM

FrancoFile: Did you RTFA? He's 54, she's 27.
a) mail-order bride
b) stripper
c) former student

d) they've been together for 14 years

tweekster		2007-09-20 03:36:53 PM

I Said: FrancoFile: Did you RTFA? He's 54, she's 27.
a) mail-order bride
b) stripper
c) former student

d) they've been together for 14 years

Since I have already posted pedo bear once today I won't again, but he is definitely nodding in approval.