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(Denver Post)   Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeled shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation   (denverpost.com) divider line 62
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20068 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2007 at 10:00 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-09-19 10:03:02 AM  
well thats a new one
 
2007-09-19 10:03:10 AM  
Better than cutting something off in your sleep buddy.
 
2007-09-19 10:03:26 AM  
Help me, I'm so very scared.

/high heel conundrum?
 
2007-09-19 10:03:49 AM  
mommylife.net

NEXT!
 
2007-09-19 10:04:04 AM  
If you slept through that, she would've probably managed to cut off your balls while you slept.
 
2007-09-19 10:05:12 AM  
Poison Control Center: Ok sir, calm down, everything will be fine. Now, I need you to find a cat and a tube of lipstick...
 
2007-09-19 10:07:39 AM  
I call shenanigans on the shoe thing. Unless it was a guy that glued them on to his boyfriend's feet. No woman would ever give up a perfectly good set heels for that.
 
2007-09-19 10:07:58 AM  
Finding him a matching purse could be tough
 
2007-09-19 10:08:32 AM  
submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve
 
2007-09-19 10:08:55 AM  
That will teach him to leave the toilet seat up .
 
2007-09-19 10:08:58 AM  
Dr Hibbert has a great fix for that
 
2007-09-19 10:09:07 AM  
I thought of 'tiny high-heeled shoes' as being Barbie shoes and I wondered why a woman would do that. That's just silly. Her putting real shoes on him makes way more sense now.
 
2007-09-19 10:09:22 AM  
C'mon, this has happened to everybody at one point or other. Hasn't it?
 
2007-09-19 10:09:54 AM  
Dang - why didn't I think of that...

I only painted his fingernails while he was passed out (old, drunken boyfriend) and he was too sick to notice when he woke up and got ready for work.
 
2007-09-19 10:10:07 AM  
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve


This.


(there, now Fark is twice as annoying)
 
2007-09-19 10:10:13 AM  
Face it, the guy was trying out the shoes to see if they matched his purse ...

/nothin'
 
2007-09-19 10:10:18 AM  
Hello, 911?

I've been ROTSKIED!
 
2007-09-19 10:10:29 AM  
Is this "Change random words to the wrong spelling" week?
 
2007-09-19 10:11:39 AM  
img339.imageshack.us

I, Hatchet Jack, being of sound mind and broke legs, do leaveth my glued-on pumps to the next thing who finds it, Lord hope he be a white man. They are good pumps, and kilt the bear that kilt me. Anyway, I am dead. Yours Truly, Hatchet Jack.
 
2007-09-19 10:11:42 AM  
Kar982007-09-19 10:10:07 AM
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve

This.



THAT
 
2007-09-19 10:12:54 AM  
NautACrazyAstro: I call shenanigans on the shoe thing. Unless it was a guy that glued them on to his boyfriend's feet. No woman would ever give up a perfectly good set heels for that.

I would.
 
2007-09-19 10:12:55 AM  
one0nine: Help me, I'm so very scared.

Nice.
 
2007-09-19 10:12:58 AM  
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve


This has to be one of the more annoying fads to come through the Intertubes.
 
2007-09-19 10:13:15 AM  
For Denver Health, which operates on a $432 million budget, the center turns a profit of $2 million to $3 million annually...[snip]..."some years we're in the black by about $2 million," Dart said.

While the descriptions of the interesting calls was nice, I was waiting patiently the entire time to find out how they turned a profit. Do they charge for the calls?

/Arrrrr!
 
2007-09-19 10:16:50 AM  
FTA: A few years ago, Guttenberg said she got a call from a man who used lead-based solder to try to reattach his dreadlocks

I'm no hairstylist, but that just doesn't seem right. Or those were some serious-ass dreads.

/robo-rasta?
 
2007-09-19 10:18:03 AM  
hick_town: This has to be one of the more annoying fads to come through the Intertubes Interwebs.

Sorry, pet pieve
 
2007-09-19 10:18:45 AM  
thatguyfred: hick_town: This has to be one of the more annoying fads to come through the Intertubes Interwebs.

Sorry, pet pieve


a$$ ;P
 
2007-09-19 10:19:12 AM  
Solder to reattach dreadlocks?? Heat the solder and hope the dreadlocks soak it up? Or was this a case of using solder as a piece of wire inside the dreadlock?
 
2007-09-19 10:25:11 AM  
Bob Down Is this "Change random words to the wrong spelling" week?

Oh, I think that's very optimistic. It think that fad is here to stay.
 
2007-09-19 10:28:45 AM  
A cat is racing around a woman's home, crazy from swallowing its owner's attention-deficit disorder medicine.


That made me laugh.
 
2007-09-19 10:33:51 AM  
Did she shake her tiny fist at him and then walk (bare foot) out the door?
 
2007-09-19 10:35:10 AM  
thatguyfred: hick_town: This has to be one of the more annoying fads to come through the Intertubes InterwebsIntarwebs.

Sorry, pet pieve


FTFY
 
2007-09-19 10:43:23 AM  
newmatic: Bob Down Is this "Change random words to the wrong spelling" week?

Oh, I think that's very optimistic. It think that fad is here to stay.


This.
\sad
 
2007-09-19 10:57:17 AM  
42_42_42: While the descriptions of the interesting calls was nice, I was waiting patiently the entire time to find out how they turned a profit. Do they charge for the calls?


Me too. After reading it a couple times, I'm assuming that the states pay to have their poison control number routed to that center.

 
2007-09-19 10:58:52 AM  
Here we go again with crazy biatches doing horrible things to guys while they sleep.
 
2007-09-19 11:00:06 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: Kar982007-09-19 10:10:07 AM
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve

This.



THAT


THOSE

except heeled was spelled correct, wasn't it?
 
2007-09-19 11:05:32 AM  
stirfrybry: DulceEtDecorumEst: Kar982007-09-19 10:10:07 AM
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve

This.



THAT

THOSE

except heeled was spelled correct, wasn't it?




The correct answer was "The other thing".

I'm sorry, but here is a lovely home edition of "Cliches of Fark" as a consolation prize.
 
2007-09-19 11:22:05 AM  
The "Sorry, pet peeve" thing is one of the few really bad FARK cliches.

/waiting for "Sorry, pet peeve" revision to this post from fellow FARKER.
 
2007-09-19 11:25:44 AM  
thatguyfred: submitter: Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeled healed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve


Oh no, I'm not falling for that twice in one day!
 
ree
2007-09-19 11:38:27 AM  
The best one has to be the soldering of the dreadlocks back on. C'mon now, that gotta hurt.
 
2007-09-19 11:45:04 AM  
You know what I like? I LIKE cliches! I called my husband an asshat the other day and he wondered where I came up with the phrase...I also like using NOT YOURS...

FARK - it;s FUN!!!

I left that semicolon in there because the grammar nazis get REALLY messed up about them....

//Wheeeeeeee11
 
2007-09-19 11:45:56 AM  
damiangerous: 42_42_42: While the descriptions of the interesting calls was nice, I was waiting patiently the entire time to find out how they turned a profit. Do they charge for the calls?
Me too. After reading it a couple times, I'm assuming that the states pay to have their poison control number routed to that center.


I think it has to do with the contracts they have with commercial companies like Clorox. They place the poison control centers number on the bottle and then get charged every time someone calls about the product. Or maybe I am wrong.
 
2007-09-19 12:12:18 PM  
Poisen control centers are funded by hospitals, local government, foundations, donations. You are not charged for the call. The number is the same everywhere, it's just routed to a certain center. Which is how I would assume this center makes more than most, governments in the other states must foot the bill to have their poisen control calls routed to them. I think it's included under emergency number taxes on your phone.
 
2007-09-19 12:15:56 PM  
newmatic: Bob Down Is this "Change random words to the wrong spelling" week?

Oh, I think that's very optimistic. It think that fad is here to stay.


img146.imageshack.us

/pet peave
 
2007-09-19 12:37:07 PM  
thatguyfred:submitter:Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeledhealed shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation


Sorry, pet peeve

This.



THAT

THOSE

except heeled was spelled correct correctly, wasn't it?


Sorry, pet peeve.
 
2007-09-19 12:37:28 PM  
hick_town: This has to be one of the more annoying fads to come through the Intertubes.

I agree. It was funny for one thread and one thread only.
 
2007-09-19 12:38:48 PM  
xanadian


Meanwhile, Rotsky has cancelled his TotalFark membership, and was last seen walking toward the sunset out by the old dump, with his tail between his laigs.....
 
2007-09-19 12:42:11 PM  
i6.tinypic.com
If "super glue" or "krazy glue" is your problem, this is as good an answer as you'll find.
 
2007-09-19 12:45:55 PM  
Pet peeves suck.
/pet peeve
//wait what?
 
2007-09-19 12:52:34 PM  
Gargling Yambag: The "Sorry, pet peeve" thing is one of the few really bad FARK cliches.

/waiting for "Sorry, pet peeve" revision to this post from fellow FARKER.


It's not as bad as quoting an entire post to say "This." That's one cliche I really wish would go away.
 
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