MadTheologian: Oh...he's the NewsMax Floor Humping Guy!

LOL

Kinda similar, come to think of it... but unlike NewsMax, he's not actually a NUTTER... :)

And for all the moaning about autistic kid's parents going on in here, there seems to be very little to the contrary, so here's where I come in.

I used to help out with some Computer Camps over the summer. Often we'd get kids with slight handicaps, nothing too major, but the last year I helped, we had an autistic child both of the weeks that we ran it.

The first week, I wouldn't have known the kid was autistic had I not been told before hand. He just seemed a little shy, which is nothing unusual in a room full of nerds.

Second week, the kid had quite serious autism along with a whole host of physical issues (think: rectal bleeding), but his parents were incredibly helpful. They arranged it so one of the kid's friends was also attending the same camp, and we made sure they were seated beside each other. His parents stayed at the camp _every single hour of every single 12 hour day_. Whenever the kid started getting overwhelmed, him and his mom would just head out of the room and sit and work alone on a laptop they had brought for a while, then when he was ready, they'd come back.

Basically, the kid's parents got him out there, into a room full of kids and had him interacting without causing a single inconvenience or bit of extra work for anyone involved.

So, yes, the woman in the story does need to stop biatching about her little autistic snowflake and her inability to arrange any sort of play date, as do a lot of parents of autistic and non-autistic kids alike, but not all parents of autistic kids are bad, just as all parents of 'normal' kids aren't bad, either.

Of course, autism is contagious. How else would you explain the intelligence level of most Fark posters. And, before you say that all Farkers aren't retarded, let me point out that I said most. Some people are immune to retardation's influence (myself included). Would you want your kid to develop his socialization skills through interacting with retards/Farkers?

I bet by the time i have kids, 1 in 3 will be diagnosed ADD and 1 in 5 will be diagnosed autistic.


it makes me sick.

Life_is_Adventure: Autism is a developmental disorder, not something you "catch" or "cure."


someone needs to lighten up and turn their sarcasm-meter on and re-read the whole thread before posting a diatribe.

kthnxbye

Life_is_Adventure: So who am I to yap at you? I'm a 22 year old therapist who works with autistic children every day. I earned my Bachelors in psychology, concentrated in childhood development and disorder, and I'm pursuing my Masters in Psyc as well. I have published research as well as composed case studies about autistic children.


...and I bet you are getting a kick out of these replies!


ha ha ha hahah ha

jaldor: So tell me, when was the last time a city government in the US burned a witch at the stake? See many people in the stocks in the town square lately? Is it still OK to whip your slaves?

We call our witchery "sex crimes" and put them on the list for life.

If you get accused of child molesting, its not that different from if she drowns then shes not a witch.

I know that autism comes in many forms, but aren't the severe cases capable of damaging themselves/others? I also noticed that a father wasn't mentioned anywhere in the mother's op-ed letter. This may have more to do with the other mother's rejection of a play-date than the child's condition does.

One of my mom's friends is an assistant superintendent of the school system. She is actually in charge of mainstreaming/special ed. Ironically, her daughter is special ed. She hasn't ever been diagnosed with anything specific, but she is socially and mentally disabled. She definitely has all the Autism signs. Even more ironically, her mother REFUSES to accept this, and involves her Precious Little Angel in such things as the local debutante training group rather than a group that might better fit her needs. This is a 16 year old girl who, when she eats, literally makes you sick because she chews with food coming out of her mouth. She also has such poor social skills that she thinks it's funny to spit on my husband as a joke and hit my stepdad on the head with a phonebook just to get a laugh. Her parents won't discipline her though. Now that I'm expecting, her mom tells me how excited her daughter is to finally have someone to babysit. There isn't a chance in hell that I would leave that child alone with my baby.

I totally blame her parents. She can't help the way she is. But she can be taught to eat properly and not be abusive. Instead, her mom does her homework and brags about how well she's doing in school. She also arranges all her playdates for her. Still. She has no hope for a fulfilling life because Mommy and Daddy won't wake up and realize that sometimes you get a different dream than what you bargained for. Just deal with what you got.

Earpj: dbaggins Maybe.. I was reading a forum today about a lady whose 3 yr. old son got out of the house and drowned in their pool. Most people said it was her fault.

Though truthfully, my 2 biggest fears are one of my kids dying...and... don't laugh...zombies..

Zombies are scary as hell.

I'm terrified of losing one of my kids. It is probably my biggest fear, too. That, and chainsaw murderers.

dbaggins: Earpj: Maybe.. I was reading a forum today about a lady whose 3 yr. old son got out of the house and drowned in their pool. Most people said it was her fault.


what forums are you reading ????

Helicopter Parent Brigade ? Nerf World ?

man. tragic accidents happen. People need to get their brains recalibrated.

I'll bet it was other parents blaming that mom. I think for a lot of parents, myself often included, you just don't want to think that an unfortunate accident could happen to your kids. YOU'D never let them drown, YOU'D never leave them in a hot car because you forgot to drop them at day care, YOU'D never let them eat something they could choke on. People get judgmental when others have accidents like that because if you can really admit it was an accident and no one was at fault, in essence you're realizing the same thing could happen to your family.

Psychologically it's easier to blame the parents, because it frees us of the idea that our kid could just as easily be the next one to get hit by a car, or drown in the bathtub.

swarms909: Of course, autism is contagious. How else would you explain the intelligence level of most Fark posters. And, before you say that all Farkers aren't retarded, let me point out that I said most. Some people are immune to retardation's influence (myself included). Would you want your kid to develop his socialization skills through interacting with retards/Farkers?

You realize using the terms "socialization skills" and "Farkers" in the same post COULD be considered an oxymoron... or is it oxymoran on Fark?

Dinzie
It's not just about autism, which I have taken the time to learn about. (And it takes far more than just 5 minutes of my precious day to do any proper learning.) It's every little condition a child has, and then the parents expect everyone else to "get educated" about whatever it is. Given how many possible conditions there are in the world, it's unrealistic to expect others to know about every single one, or to expect them to care about the particulars. Concerned parents will save themselves time if they stop telling people to get educated, and simply expect ignorance. People will seek information when they have a vested interest in it, and they are entitled to remain ignorant if they so choose. If I listen to every parent who tells us to educate ourselves about such-and-such, I'll be such an expert on everything from asthma to psoriasis to thrombocytopenia that I might as well have my MD. So expect ignorance, and be pleasantly surprised when it is lacking. But don't expect others to make themselves experts when they don't have to deal with a disease or condition on a regular basis.

memilkisyummy: Earpj: dbaggins Maybe.. I was reading a forum today about a lady whose 3 yr. old son got out of the house and drowned in their pool. Most people said it was her fault.

Though truthfully, my 2 biggest fears are one of my kids dying...and... don't laugh...zombies..

Zombies are scary as hell.

I'm terrified of losing one of my kids. It is probably my biggest fear, too. That, and chainsaw murderers.

But he has Bud Light!

thefatbasturd: memilkisyummy: Earpj: dbaggins Maybe.. I was reading a forum today about a lady whose 3 yr. old son got out of the house and drowned in their pool. Most people said it was her fault.

Though truthfully, my 2 biggest fears are one of my kids dying...and... don't laugh...zombies..

Zombies are scary as hell.

I'm terrified of losing one of my kids. It is probably my biggest fear, too. That, and chainsaw murderers.

But he has Bud Light!


And a chainsaw!

memilkisyummy: thefatbasturd: memilkisyummy: Earpj: dbaggins Maybe.. I was reading a forum today about a lady whose 3 yr. old son got out of the house and drowned in their pool. Most people said it was her fault.

Though truthfully, my 2 biggest fears are one of my kids dying...and... don't laugh...zombies..

Zombies are scary as hell.

I'm terrified of losing one of my kids. It is probably my biggest fear, too. That, and chainsaw murderers.

But he has Bud Light!


And a chainsaw!

I LOVE that commercial! Maybe because my best Halloween was the year I was Leatherface with a real chainsaw (no blade). Scared the bejeebus out of The Spice Girls.

Earpj: Ok. Say I let my 8 yr. old son run around the neighborhood all day..then he gets hit by a car or is missing..How many posts would be blaming me for not watching him?? Pretty much all of them.

Depends. If the Fark headline was something like:
"Parent lets son roam neighbourhood unsupervised, demands changes to traffic laws when he gets hit by a car."

Then yes, 99% of the posts would blame you simply because Fark seems to consider the whole "adapting the environment to suit your self to the detriment to the rest" to be a special kind of stupidity. (Which is why I love you all.)

And there's a huge difference between 'running around the neighbourhood' depending on where you live. If the other poster used to bike into a forest, chances are he lived in a somewhat rural area, and it wouldn't be really unreasonable as I imagine the population density was low so traffic wouldn't be bad, where-as 'running around the neighbourhood' in downtown New York would just be asking for trouble.

Life_Is_Adventure
Thank you for posting some much needed info.

I would write that I can't believe someone posted that a parent shouldn't have another child if one has a disability- but then I remember that this is Fark, and people type with their head up their butt. It's no different that a family having a child with asthma, and deciding to have another child. There is no guarantee either way that the next child will or won't have the same condition.

FWIW, most people I know that have a child with autism, the child is not the first or only child; they tend to be 2 or 3rd children, and yes usually the youngest (according to the severity of the autism). Our child wasn't diagnosed until she was over 3, and we had another child by then. We're very lucky that she is high-functioning- absolutely no social skills, lots of problems with language, but great at math.

Bunnyhat: Ok you know what.

In the article she says her 10 year old is autistic and that she also has a 8 year old kid. That means after having brought in one 'special' needs child, she went and spawned another one giving no thought of what that might mean to the kid.


I'm sorry, I'm all for taking care of any kids you might produce, but once you bring in a kid that as a condition relating to his genetics that pretty much stops him from living a normal life, you shouldn't be bringing more in to the world. There are plenty of kids up for adoption if you still want more, so theres no reason to risk fate like that by bringing more 'special' people in to the world.

WTF dude

My older brother has Autism... I'm perfectly fine, so is my brother, he's just a bit different.

you sound like the retard.

TheHappyCanadian: and my kid will be outside the courtroom doors and will sell him his company for a hug and a bag of magic beans


I dunno dude, if your kid has a company and would be willing to sell it for a hug and a bag of magic beans then you have worse things to worry about than a parent with a high IQ autistic child.

mediaho: WTF is a "play date?"

Yeah, no kidding! I've started hearing this word all the time. Never heard it growing up.

On a more on-topic note: Autism does have different degrees of severity as does mental retardation, though the two are not the same. I have a cousin who has a child with AS and for the most part he is no different than anyone else, but at times he CAN get out of hand. Nothing major, just doesn't understand what is and isn't acceptable some times.

I don't understand the attitude of some Farkers. Seem to feel like anyone "different" should be kept away from them so they don't have to deal with it. I have some friends with the same attitude. I was a member of a Community Theater. There is a guy named Jerry who is mildly retarded. He lives by himself, has a paper route to earn his money. Usually had to get a ride from someone as he can't drive, but never missed a show we did. Even when he didn't really understand the shows he was ALWAYS very happy to see the show, and made a point to tell everyone involved how much he enjoyed it. Eventually he started coming to auditions to be involved, and many times the directors found small roles or jobs for him to do. It made his day. I personally loved having him arround. His enthusiasm was contagious. A couple of my friends found it annoying to have to be arround him JUST because they didn't really know how to deal with it. Partially because Jerry is very friendly and LOVES to talk with you, but it can be an effort sometimes as you occasionally had to explain things he didn't understand. It never really bothered me, but I suspect with one guy in particular it was also a bit of "there but for the grace of God go I" fear in that he is very smart, very logical, and has enormous trouble dealing with anything that doesn't conform to his logic. So they found it funny to call Jerry "the beloved village idiot" and say sometimes very cruel things, knowing he wouldn't get it, but the others arround them would.

One night in particular, one of them made some snarky comment about God, as he was an atheist and knew Jerry wasn't. Jerry (luckily) didn't get it and says "I love God. He takes care of me and loves me and makes sure my life is good." I was at first kind of stunned, thinking about the hand Jerry had been dealt by life. But then I got to thinking. In the years I've know him, I have NEVER seen Jerry mad, hurt, sad, or anything other than happy to be wherever he was doing whatever he was doing. Made me really stop and think. Maybe God really DID do right by Jerry. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want to trade places with him, but it would be nice to be that care free.

I know this isn't REALLY what the thread is about but it does kind of deal with the fact that someone "different" doesn't mean they are a "lesser" person. And let me tell you any minor inconvenience I may have encountered being Jerry's friend evaporated when every time I met him or said good-bye and Jerry would hug me and say "I love you." And he meant it too. So did I when I said it back.

PS These same guys ALSO act the same way to another friend who has some similar problems to Jerry, but due to taking a bullet to the head in Desert Storm. First time one of them referred to him as "retard" (luckily out of his hearing) I really got my back up about it with him. Especially since the guy who did it was ex-military who ALSO served in DS.

Life_is_Adventure:

STANDING OVATION

All kids can be brats at times.
The range of problems from mild, to "fling poo" gives some idiots that they all fall into the latter category.

To the parents who are pushing for friends, take a step back and remember that even if you have to help him 24/7 he/she does have their own brain/emotions and will not always be in lock step with yours.

If they are luck enough to be able to go to school, there is a good chance that, after the initial teasing,(yes a bit more intensified since depending on how "bad" he/she is "something" new) there will usually be someone who can either "see through" or just out of curiosity talk to them.
If he comes home with someone, and they ask questions, just be honest abut whatever problems there are.

If you and they are really lucky you might end up with whole classmates, which I admit for highschools and all the cliques I find amazing when I hear about those kids who have whole classmates helping, friends, and ready to defend them at a drop of the hat

Ummon: And yes PSA being Autistic with a very high IQ does make a person superior .

Wow....

Sybian_Ride: It's ignorant parents (of the "typical child") like this who do unnecessary damage to a young child, who could use as much normal social interaction as possible.

catfishdog: You are correct, most (if not all that are considered neuro-typical) would never trade places with one on the spectrum - it is a very lonely existence seeing as most of the problems/disabilities lie in social interaction and the ability to 'connect' with others.

Life_is_Adventure: Autism is in no way contagious. Some parents of typical kids do believe that their children will pick up "bad" or "maladaptive" behaviors from autistic kids, but that's subjective at best.

Why is it important for parents of autistic children to call non-autistic children "typical" (slightly derogatory IMHO)?!? Aren't non-autistic children atypical in at least as many ways as autistic children are "special"

.....o snap!

letrole: Autism is a learned condition. A normal child could indeed "catch" it, but considering the extended exposure to neurotic parents necessary, a random playmate probably isn't at risk.

They aren't at risk, unless the autistic child flings their own poo, of course. In that case, a proper shunning will protect the community from developing both erratic behaviour and e-coli infections.


I laughed heartily. Too bad jaldor, Flapjack and i green eye have no sense of humor. Bonus dork points to jaldor for calling you clueless!

I had ADHD when I was a kid and was shunned by other kids because of it. Rightfully so. The world needs more bitter people to make all those nice emo songs and angsty poetry ;)

Life_is_Adventure: I don't have children, and don't plan to, but somehow find myself capable of loving them.

These are kids, people. Not "crotchfruit." Not someone else's hellspawn. Not unfulfilled people's pathetic attempt at giving their lives meaning by passing on their genetic legacy.
They're little human beings, and they are what we teach them to be. They have to live in this world we make, so let's try our damnedest to fill it with cooperative, kind, compassionate, and intelligent (big and little) human beings.

W I N

Is this what Fark-parties are like? Or is everyone much nicer to each other in person?

Ambitwistor [TotalFark] 2007-09-09 02:43:43 PM
The parent in question didn't actually say that you can catch autism from a play date: that was the author's speculation of her motivation.

Exactly. Maybe the kids mother isn't a liberal helicopter parent that feels she needs to make her kids friends for him.

I couldn't go through all these dumb posts but I have an autistic 6 year old. He goes to a special school. We only do playdates with other autistic kids he knows.

I did enter him in a Robotics class this year because he's a whiz with legoes. He will be with regular kids. I expect the other kids to be pretty geeky so I'm not worried about him not fitting in.

Earpj: Ummon I would just ignore the jerks. I also have a kid on the spectrum. Most of the people who post in these threads are so full of their own self importance, they can't see the forrest for the trees. Trying to reason with the unreasonable, will only raise your blood pressure.

You know what I always hated? When I was in elementary they kept trying to integrate the special needs kids into class. They would have disrupted us less by letting a pack of rabid wolverines run wild. One of them would randomly scream gibberish at the top of his lungs fer chrissakes.

Why are these hopeless special needs types kept in school at all? One year I somehow got wrangled into being a student assistant to the special needs class. While the rest of the school had to make do with black and white crapmacs they had colour PowerMacs! Which were expensive and good at the time. This was grade 9 that this happened and in theory these kids were in the same grade as me. But they were playing with LETTER BLOCKS!!!

Now I am not saying make tardsausage or anything but having kids playing with two year old's letter blocks in high school is a waste of everyone's time, effort and money. Having said that I sent most of my time there bogarting their computer and playing Bolo in glorious 256 colour baybee!


/Bolo rocks
//Your builder has been killed

thefatbasturd:

I don't understand the attitude of some Farkers. Seem to feel like anyone "different" should be kept away from them so they don't have to deal with it.


It has nothing to do with someone being "different." I dont care if you have 3 arms. I dont care if your skin is neon green. I dont care if you like to have sex with a coat-hanger shoved up your arse.

People with mental problems aren't just "different", they are less functional than the rest of society.

A chain is only as strong as it weakest link. If we keep the weak links around, then the whole society is weakened.


People say, oh, so you have to explain things a few extra times, and maybe keep an eye on them a bit more, or have to repeat yourself to get the point across. How come this is something that people should have to suck up and deal with for a mental person, but for say, a drunk, having to do so would be a hassle? Nobody likes being around a drunk. People with mental problems are the same.

I hate parents.

"sometimes doesn't know what is acceptable in certain situations"

That is LEARNED behavior. An effective parent TEACHES this.

If I was 10 right now, some school admin would label me as autistic. I was a social nightmare when I was that age. I'm not going to get into it, but I only have 2 friends from that time period (1980). I look back now, and see that my mother (on her third divorce) wasn't doing a lot to teach me how to interact with other people because she wasn't taught how to treat people.

My dad's family did more for me in that respect. If your 'mildly autistic' kid is so farking smart, they can learn to behave.

/No slash-worthy comments on this one.
//I wanna see the helicopter parents reactions.
///Off to tell my dad thanks for beating sense into me, but that he's still an asshole for not figuring out when to stop.
////Ok, there were comments...

Jeebus Rollerskating Christ.

All of you haters out there (anyone who would use the term "retard" or "crotchfruit" to describe a child), you people who know NOTHING about child raising in 2007 ("wtf is a playdate?") and think you know everything ("just *insert simplistic ignorant solution here* assclowns!"), just PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T BREED. You could simply never handle it. Too many complex decisions. Nintendogs should be your absolute limit!

vonapathy: No matter how good natured we may feel about our selves, we have to admit that autistic children are simply unpleasant to deal with outside of a family bond.

I believe this sums up most people's thinking on the subject. Man is a social animal. We naturally shun those who cannot accept social conventions unless we are tied by bonds of kinship. No amount of main streaming or education is going to change this.

Bandman614: they happen not to live in a neighborhood where it is possible for their kids to get together with other kids on their own.


I think this is what parks with playgrounds are for.


No, no, no. That's where the pedos hunt; when they're not online that is. Or at church. Or outside of schools.

I am reminded of an old, southern, one liner type story/joke my dad used to tell:

"Spivey! What you chillen doin' out there in da yahd!"
"We's farkin' mama!"
"Oh, ok den, as long as you ain't smokin those nasty, dirty cigarettes!"

/got nuttin'

Bacontastesgood: So let's see, the author cold called a parent to set up a playdate for a 10-year-old, and unloaded all this special needs info on her, and they were surprised that they didn't get an enthusiastic response, and assumed the reason was that the person was afraid their kid would catch teh autism?

What sound does a vinegar truck make when it hits a water reservoir?

Crash?

I was diagnosed with autism at age 3, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

/I got better, though. Even if my social skills still kinda suck.

I also am an autistic kid, so I too am getting a big kick out of...... BLEEARGH, DON'T farkING TOUCH ME!!!!! *smash*

Definitely Wapner.

I wouldn't let my kids play with a freak-baby with autism either. Regular kids generally don't start stabbing people with scissors.

"It's hurtful to realize that people like her are out there. It seemed as if she didn't want her son socializing with mine because she feared that her child might "catch" Jeffrey's disability. Autism is not contagious, nor are the other conditions that land children into special-needs classes."

Uh, no. I think that lady is acting like an overprotective mother and jumping to conclusions.

"My son would have enjoyed the 90 minutes or so it would have taken to go bowling with this other child."

Ever consider that the other child would not have enjoyed it so much?

"The positive role model of a typical child is important for a child with autism. And in my experience, typical children are more than willing to play with a child with a disability - it's their parents who are resistant."

Not really. My cousin is autistic. Other children attempt to play with him, but soon figure out that the autistic kid is not quite right. Perhaps it is the weird arm flapping, lack of eys contact, lack of normal language skills, lack of pretend play skills and lack of any normal interaction. With aspergers, they have the language, but tend to be obsessive on a topic and quite offputting.

Also, 10 years old is too old for a "play date." That is for preschool and kindergarteners ... Oh, and weird rich kids.

"They don't realize what their children stand to gain from developing a friendship with a child who is autistic or different in some other way. They can develop a sense of caring and understanding that leads them to become more compassionate adults."

They can volunteer somewhere for that experience. You can't force frienships on a child.