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(Newsday)   You can't catch autism from a play date (or why some people hate parents)   (newsday.com) divider line 311
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29096 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2007 at 4:26 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-09-09 05:08:33 PM
detatched_sr: Alyna_jf: Its sad, really... this in this day and age, mentally disabled people are still treated like they have the plague or something.

In this day and age? It almost sounds like you expect people to be smarter today than in the past. Evolution doesn't work that quickly sorry. And with most of our survival instincts useless in the world we live in today, along with the dumbest people having the most kids, we will probably be going backwards not forwards.


Uhm... I meant tolerence, understanding, equality etc. Not "smarts".
 
2007-09-09 05:09:27 PM
Ambitwistor: The parent in question didn't actually say that you can catch autism from a play date: that was the author's speculation of her motivation.

that.

it's the equivalent of "youz is only arresting me because I black!"
 
2007-09-09 05:10:33 PM
I couldn't imagine why this horrible woman isn't jumping at the chance to force her child to play with someone like this kid(p).
 
2007-09-09 05:11:21 PM
detatched_sr In this day and age? It almost sounds like you expect people to be smarter today than in the past. Evolution doesn't work that quickly sorry. And with most of our survival instincts useless in the world we live in today, along with the dumbest people having the most kids, we will probably be going backwards not forwards.

So tell me, when was the last time a city government in the US burned a witch at the stake? See many people in the stocks in the town square lately? Is it still OK to whip your slaves?

People today may not be "smarter" than in the past, but I like to think that in at least some areas, they're far more.... enlightened.
 
2007-09-09 05:11:27 PM
Here's your problem right here, lady...

"I gathered up my courage to call the mother, whom I didn't know. I introduced myself and explained that my son has special needs and is in a self-contained class. I also told her that he is mainstreamed for music, art and gym, where our sons know each other. I let her know that her son seemed to have an interest in befriending Jeffrey. "

Jesus H. Christ, lady. I'd have hung up on you by then. I don't care how autistic your kid is, the way you do these things is

"Hi, my son met your son at camp, and wants to know if he can come over and play."

Its like asking for a date by saying

"Umh, hi. I was never very popular in school and in fact no girls ever knew i existed me. I also have very bad body odor and fart when I'm nervous, like right now. You're probably busy being perfect, but if you weren't, I noticed you looked in my direction last month. Would you marry me?"
 
2007-09-09 05:11:44 PM
Why did the mom called for the play date even pick up the phone? Doesn't everyone have caller ID or an answering machine?

/Doesn't ever answer the phone for an unknown number
 
2007-09-09 05:11:45 PM
Growing up, we hung out with a kid in our neighborhood who was slightly handicapped, both physically and mentally. Everyone liked him, he was a cool kid, played sports (he did a sort of Jim Abbott thing in baseball, throwing and catching with the same hand).

Anyway, this all reminds me of South Park in a way. The kids hang out with Jimmy and Timmy because they want to, they don't think of them in terms of their disabilities. And no, I'm not equating autism with mental retardation.

I think Precious Little Angel Syndrome is more of a problem here than autism.
 
2007-09-09 05:12:11 PM
jaldor

It almost never ceases to amaze me how much hostility is directed toward parents and children here on Fark. Then I remember that most Farkers are likely either high school/college kids who have no clue about what it's like to have, raise, and love a child, or they're social rejects and misfits who can't get laid, and thus never will have a clue about what that's like.

Damn right, sir. Damn right. Lay off parents and kids, people; modern assholes come in all varieties, many of which you flame with here every day.
 
2007-09-09 05:14:02 PM
Alyna_jf:
LOL nice. My brother is severely autistic, and he is simply brilliant for an 11 year old. He has been able to play games on the computer since he was 3, do 100 piece puzzels since he was 2. He can spell, read, write etc etc... its just the social skills that he lacks, and he used to lack in speach until my parents found a wonderful school for him. He's really the funniest, sweetest most precious boy I have ever met in my entire life.

Its a shame that a lot of people they're better than him just because he is different. I wish people would educate themselves rather than jumping to conclusions.

The funny thing is, from their point of view, this is their world and we just live in it.

But I find it ironic that a bunch of people who sit in front of computers making snarky comments all day find themselves qualified to pass judgment on the social behaviors of disabled children and their parents.
 
2007-09-09 05:14:03 PM
What's wrong with being artistic?
 
2007-09-09 05:14:28 PM
It's sad that this mother was worried about her child being at risk for catching Autism. This is not a communicable disease. I've never heard of any evidence or studies that supports that Autism is contagious.

It sounds like the Autistic child has a somewhat mild case, and the other mother is a classic definition of a "See you Next Tuesday", coupled with complete ignorance. A little bit of Googling or something similar (maybe a Q & A session with her pediatrician) would answer her questions and make her feel at ease. On second thought, possibly it may not. She seems like a complete biatch.

Either way, it's very sad for the Autistic child, thankfully he has a loving family and a great brother who cares for him.

It's ignorant parents (of the "typical child") like this who do unnecessary damage to a young child, who could use as much normal social interaction as possible.

Sad, just sad. I don't believe that there is any acceptable reason for this mother (the one with the child that is not Autistic)to be such a nasty, closed-minded person. She was too bothered and refused to take the other mom's telephone number??? WTF!!!

Unfortunately, that's the way the world is. Very, very sad indeed.
 
2007-09-09 05:14:45 PM
Mind if I dispell a myth or two?

Autism is not equal to mental retardation - Autistic spectrum disorders can range from emotional disconnect (on the mild end) to those that seem to have no connection at all with the rest of the world (on the most severe end of the spectrum). Trying to use standardized IQ tests on children like these is along the lines of teaching a pig to sing - all you'll do is waste your time and upset the pig.

Autistic children are best served by residential educational programs - this is the biggest line of manure anyone ever tried to feed me. A low student to instructor ratio, proper vocational therapy/life skills training and some minor compensations for physical inabilities (fine motor control issues means a kid may have trouble holding and using a pencil, but they can use a keyboard; non-vocal children easily find a voice with a computer) and even a public school system can have an excellent special needs program. Kids with autism do not need to be warehoused and hidden away.

Recent studies are pointing to excess testosterone during brain development may be a contributing factor in autism.

/not a doctor - mother of an autistic daughter
 
2007-09-09 05:14:52 PM
Alyna_jf: Its a shame that a lot of people they're better than him just because he is different. I wish people would educate themselves rather than jumping to conclusions.


You know what conclusion some people jump too ?

People aren't friends with autistic kids because they think they're better than them.

having watched my autistic nephew play with my non-autistic nephews, I have to say they are more patient than I would be with a similar behaving adult. Eventually they ditch him though, or cajole another nephew or niece to take their place, because it just isn't fun. Autistic kids just aren't very fun playpals.
 
2007-09-09 05:15:27 PM
mediaho: I couldn't imagine why this horrible woman isn't jumping at the chance to force her child to play with someone like this kid(p).

What, a sweet, sensitive kid that perhaps doesn't have the perfect brain like your shiat-disturbing hellraiser?
 
2007-09-09 05:18:00 PM
Sybian_Ride: Sad, just sad. I don't believe that there is any acceptable reason for this mother (the one with the child that is not Autistic)to be such a nasty, closed-minded person. She was too bothered and refused to take the other mom's telephone number??? WTF!!!


You call me up out of the blue and start asking me to make playdate plans for kids ? yeah, good-bye helicopter-parent.
 
2007-09-09 05:18:03 PM
Sleaze:
The funny thing is, from their point of view, this is their world and we just live in it.

But I find it ironic that a bunch of people who sit in front of computers making snarky comments all day find themselves qualified to pass judgment on the social behaviors of disabled children and their parents.


I know, its pretty sad. Having a "normal brain" doesn't make you any better or any worse than anybody else. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean its wrong. People seriously need to grow up. Not letting your child play with an autistic kid is just as bad if not worse than not letting your kid play with someone of a different race.
 
2007-09-09 05:18:12 PM
jaldor: So tell me, when was the last time a city government in the US burned a witch at the stake? See many people in the stocks in the town square lately? Is it still OK to whip your slaves?

People today may not be "smarter" than in the past, but I like to think that in at least some areas, they're far more.... enlightened.


You make a good point. But, I think the reason we seem to be advancing is because of decisions made by a few smart people. For example, nobody has slaves here because it's illegal. But just because nobody has slaves here doesn't mean everyone here is against slavery. A few smart people realized slavery was bad and did things in order to stop it. We all benefit from that but we're not all slave owners NOT just because we're all good people.

I'm not saying we're all bad or would have slaves. But burning witches and whipping slaves are both illegal so we're unable to really see if that would still be continuing if it wasn't.
 
2007-09-09 05:18:34 PM
mediaho: I couldn't imagine why this horrible woman isn't jumping at the chance to force her child to play with someone like this kid(p).

Because that kid is already booked up playing with this dense bag of bricks:

tbn0.google.com
 
2007-09-09 05:19:00 PM
BTW, the I agree that the whole "autism is contagious" thing is a bit of a troll.

And opening a dialog with the parent of a new friend with, "my kid is messed up. wanna play?", is just leading with your chin. We don't discuss my son's issues unless someone asks. The best way to mainstream a kid with autism spectrum is to put them in with other kids and see what unfolds. If intervention is needed, give it. But normalization is cut off at the knees if you preface it with, "we want him to be normal, but he's different. So, ignore that and just pretend we never said it."
 
2007-09-09 05:19:00 PM
Sadly, Autism is just a blanket diagnosis for a variety of disorders.

Maybe the other mother isn't the "play date" kind. When I was young, I would exchange phone numbers with my new friends at school and then our parents would talk to eachother on the phone if transportation was needed. If my friend lived nearby then we would just meet at a local or or at eachother's house.

There are dozens of legitimate reasons why the other mother could have been unresponsive. "Autism is contagious" is not up there.
 
2007-09-09 05:19:46 PM
In the city it's easier for kids to meet and play with other kids in the playground. However, out in the suburbs it's more difficult; kids don't live near each other and have to be driven around for a "play date," usually with their classmates.

I have noticed that the younger kids don't really mind playing with autistic or downs kids, but the parents are more hesitant about this. It must be so frustrating for the mom in the article.
 
2007-09-09 05:19:56 PM
dbaggins: Alyna_jf: Its a shame that a lot of people they're better than him just because he is different. I wish people would educate themselves rather than jumping to conclusions.


You know what conclusion some people jump too ?

People aren't friends with autistic kids because they think they're better than them.

having watched my autistic nephew play with my non-autistic nephews, I have to say they are more patient than I would be with a similar behaving adult. Eventually they ditch him though, or cajole another nephew or niece to take their place, because it just isn't fun. Autistic kids just aren't very fun playpals.



My brother is the same way. He likes to play by himself, or watch someone else play by themselves. He has learned in school that he has to play with some other children sometimes, and to share etc.. but when he's at home, he never plays with his niece (whos basically like his sister), and only plays nintendo with his older brother... but never 2 player games. they take turns in 1 player mode.
 
2007-09-09 05:21:19 PM
But can you catch it if you fark em bareback?

/sorry
 
2007-09-09 05:22:56 PM
CARL_WEATHERS: But can you catch it if you fark em bareback?

/sorry


No you're not, otherwise you wouldn't have said it.
 
2007-09-09 05:24:03 PM
Well, at least he has his 8 year old brother. Just imagine if he didn't have any siblings. Then no one would play with him.

/despite the mother, it's still a bit sad when a kid has no one to do things with

//also sad when adults have no one to do things with
 
2007-09-09 05:24:22 PM
If this lady's kid wasn't autistic, she'd probably get the same reaction to her little invite because she's an entitled twatmunch.
 
2007-09-09 05:26:03 PM
Alyna_jf: CARL_WEATHERS: But can you catch it if you fark em bareback?

/sorry

No you're not, otherwise you wouldn't have said it.


I know....i'm a baaaad monkey and I just don't care.
 
2007-09-09 05:29:49 PM
Oh yeah. Play date. Wait'll you find out what a play child is....
 
KNW
2007-09-09 05:31:12 PM
i127.photobucket.com
 
2007-09-09 05:32:19 PM
Ok you know what.

In the article she says her 10 year old is autistic and that she also has a 8 year old kid. That means after having brought in one 'special' needs child, she went and spawned another one giving no thought of what that might mean to the kid.


I'm sorry, I'm all for taking care of any kids you might produce, but once you bring in a kid that as a condition relating to his genetics that pretty much stops him from living a normal life, you shouldn't be bringing more in to the world. There are plenty of kids up for adoption if you still want more, so theres no reason to risk fate like that by bringing more 'special' people in to the world.
 
2007-09-09 05:35:04 PM
"They even have play dates, for Christ's sake! Playing is now done by appointment! Whatever happened to, 'You show me your wee-wee and I'll show you mine?'"

/obscure?
//god I hope not
 
2007-09-09 05:35:12 PM
Bunnyhat Ok you know what.

In the article she says her 10 year old is autistic and that she also has a 8 year old kid. That means after having brought in one 'special' needs child, she went and spawned another one giving no thought of what that might mean to the kid.


I'm sorry, I'm all for taking care of any kids you might produce, but once you bring in a kid that as a condition relating to his genetics that pretty much stops him from living a normal life, you shouldn't be bringing more in to the world. There are plenty of kids up for adoption if you still want more, so theres no reason to risk fate like that by bringing more 'special' people in to the world.


Spoken like someone with no children.

I'm sure that woman fully considered the possibility of her 2nd child turning out autistic, and decided that, if he was, she would not love him any less.

Unless, of course, your point is that having more 'special' or 'autistic' people in the world is somehow bad. I suppose we could just come up with a way to test whether kids are going to be autistic in the womb and abort the "bad" ones, eh?

/also, there's no proven link between genetics and autism
//just sayin'
 
2007-09-09 05:35:30 PM
i68.photobucket.com
 
2007-09-09 05:36:13 PM
Autistic kids rock image in 3....2.....
/From someone who has autism
 
2007-09-09 05:37:15 PM
Bunnyhat: Ok you know what.

In the article she says her 10 year old is autistic and that she also has a 8 year old kid. That means after having brought in one 'special' needs child, she went and spawned another one giving no thought of what that might mean to the kid.


I'm sorry, I'm all for taking care of any kids you might produce, but once you bring in a kid that as a condition relating to his genetics that pretty much stops him from living a normal life, you shouldn't be bringing more in to the world. There are plenty of kids up for adoption if you still want more, so theres no reason to risk fate like that by bringing more 'special' people in to the world.


In most cases it is not noticed that a child us autistic till they are older, I think 2 is about the earliest that a person can really tell.
 
KNW
2007-09-09 05:40:41 PM
Actually, my friend's kid has a touch of autism (Asperger's). He's frighteningly intelligent for a kid who's still in his early teens (and he's friggin' tall, too). Shame about the detatchment & inablity to understand colloqualisms, he'd have made an awesome supervillian.
 
2007-09-09 05:41:43 PM
Arthur Jumbles: I'm sure the mom just didn't want her child to associate with the class geek. It might negatively affect his social rank and standing within his peer group, which could have long lasting consequences.

What's wrong with being like Ferris Bueller?

"The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."
 
2007-09-09 05:44:44 PM
IWood: I dunno. That's how I caught it.

/Excellent driver


Bwah ha ha ha ha.

Meanwhile, I feel this mother's pain. When it's your kid, you just so want to pave the road for them, and this makes it dubly/triply as hard.
 
2007-09-09 05:45:02 PM
Why hate parents? Hate the stupid.
 
2007-09-09 05:46:12 PM
mosstron: Can you imagine being in Highschool and have your girlfriend ask you "So, how did you and Rob meet and become friends?"

My name is Rob and I'm getting a kick out of this reply.

Article writer seems a little whiney. Maybe the other mom was or was not a biatch, but the writer is definitely whiney.
 
2007-09-09 05:46:57 PM
No, you can't catch Autism from a play date, but you can catch it from a toilet seat, kissing, or sharing needles.

No, wait, that's crabs, mononucleosis, and HIV, respectively. N/M.
 
2007-09-09 05:47:26 PM
Autism is a learned condition. A normal child could indeed "catch" it, but considering the extended exposure to neurotic parents necessary, a random playmate probably isn't at risk.

They aren't at risk, unless the autistic child flings their own poo, of course. In that case, a proper shunning will protect the community from developing both erratic behaviour and e-coli infections.
 
2007-09-09 05:53:04 PM
letrole Autism is a learned condition.

Congratulations! You have been awarded "Most clueless post of the day."
 
2007-09-09 05:54:10 PM
Bunnyhat,

You definitely have no children or knowledge of autism. Quit being a twatwaffle and learn what you're ripping on.

/mother of an autistic son
//can you tell?
 
2007-09-09 06:01:06 PM
Bunnyhat: The prevelance of autism among siblings 1.76 percent.

It's fun to be vitriolic when you are confused by facts, eh?
 
2007-09-09 06:01:33 PM
letrole: Autism is a learned condition. A normal child could indeed "catch" it, but considering the extended exposure to neurotic parents necessary, a random playmate probably isn't at risk.

They aren't at risk, unless the autistic child flings their own poo, of course. In that case, a proper shunning will protect the community from developing both erratic behaviour and e-coli infections.




And here I thought Bunnyhat won twatwaffle of the day. I stand corrected.
 
2007-09-09 06:01:55 PM
So let's see, the author cold called a parent to set up a playdate for a 10-year-old, and unloaded all this special needs info on her, and they were surprised that they didn't get an enthusiastic response, and assumed the reason was that the person was afraid their kid would catch teh autism?

What sound does a vinegar truck make when it hits a water reservoir?
 
2007-09-09 06:04:05 PM
i green eye

Uh, read that poster's name out loud. As if it wasn't obvious from the post.
 
2007-09-09 06:05:15 PM
The entitlement in this place smells to high heaven. Parents of 'special needs' kids, I'm looking at you.
 
2007-09-09 06:05:32 PM
Bacontastesgood: i green eye

Uh, read that poster's name out loud. As if it wasn't obvious from the post.




Hehehehe. A troll can still be a twatwaffle.
 
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