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(BBC)   New 'Smart Dashboard' talks, squirts cold water in sleepy drivers face   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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1340 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2001 at 9:15 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

28 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-07-23 09:28:18 AM  
Seems like a good way to cause and accident.

"Dave....stop. Stop, Dave. Dave...? light, Dave. Stop, Dave..."
2001-07-23 09:35:13 AM  
(via slashdot)
2001-07-23 09:38:06 AM  
"and" = "an"
2001-07-23 09:39:04 AM  
"The artificial passenger can analyse speech for signs of sleepiness and is programmed to ask startling questions to provoke drivers in wakefulness. "

I'd rather it scream out shiat really loud like "A TREE!!!" or "HOLY SHIAT WE'RE GETTING PULLED OVER!!!" or maybe "LOOK AT THE BAZOOMBAS ON HER!!!"

Just record about 3,000 of those. That'll keep ya awake
2001-07-23 09:39:33 AM  
ah yes what a good idea - splash cold water in the face of the driver....thats what i call a motherfarkingdumb dashboard
2001-07-23 09:39:37 AM  
And for those driver's with that particular fetish, the dashboard also squirts urine.
2001-07-23 09:40:15 AM  
perhaps it could also spray acid into their eyes
2001-07-23 09:40:56 AM  
havent heard of an acid fetish
2001-07-23 09:45:21 AM  
IBM is proud to introduce the Smart Dashboard, for lonely drivers.

Dr. Zadrozny? Is he related to Dr. Zaius?
2001-07-23 10:03:30 AM  
They would go through all this high-tech stuff to get the driver to stay awake, like spraying water and having a camera monitor the drivers face. How much harder would it be just to come up with technology that allows the car to drive itself.
2001-07-23 10:07:36 AM  
Just what I need, a car that expects me to talk to it. Would this thing interrupt my conversation with my invisible friend, Bill?
2001-07-23 10:23:40 AM  
It's Knight Rider gone mad
2001-07-23 10:44:04 AM  
Next on FOX:

Funnies dashboard converstaions.

Say, what happens when you're driving drunk? You're speech is slurred, you're head is nodding. Your dashboard starts telling you jokes and spraying you with seltzer water, you're either going to have a new best friend or you're going to put your foot through it.

On the other hand, when the cops stop you you can let the computer handle it.

"Why no officer, he has not been drinking. I'm a computer and therefore I can not lie."
2001-07-23 10:58:38 AM  
this is great! I bet they can even make a screen so they voice has a face. Something cute and simple, like....I got it, A PAPER CLIP! People will love it!
2001-07-23 11:38:57 AM  
I can just picture "moi" getting squirted in the eye and out pops the contact. I would have just as good a chance of survival driving with my eyes closed!

At least then I would be rested:)
2001-07-23 11:54:58 AM  
"New 'Smart-ass Dashboard' talks, squirts tepid urine in asshole drivers face"

I think it should also be programmed to punish asshole drivers, like delivering an electric shock for cruising in the left lane too long. Or to squirt urine in your face for missing the coin basket at the toll booth.
2001-07-23 12:12:59 PM  
"Ahhhh!!! My Farking eyes!"
Crash into tree!
"Idiot dead from Squirt gun mishap."
2001-07-23 12:15:51 PM  
i think they should make a dashboard that automatically dips your hand into warm water when you fall asleep.

grave8: picture it singing "daisy, daisy" when you try to turn off the car.
2001-07-23 12:30:59 PM  
Cool...I could run with this, Flux.
On those door lock remotes, you could have voice control...
"Open the car door, please, Hal"

Instead of a battery indicator light...the car could say...
"My mind is going. I can feel it."
2001-07-23 01:35:59 PM  
HOW stupid the steering wheels is on the wrong side of the car, duh!
2001-07-23 01:56:58 PM  
Can it squirt piss into your boss's Mountain Dew while you carpool to work?
2001-07-23 02:12:01 PM  
In South Korea they tested a dashboard that squirted warm urine into sleeping drivers faces. It wasn't very effective and it caused most of the test subjects to urinate in their pants.
2001-07-23 02:13:51 PM  
Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the driver's side door, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: You locked your keys in the car.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL, I've got my keys right here.
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to fill my tank with regular unleaded instead of super, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the backseat against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
2001-07-23 03:08:18 PM  
HAL: Just a moment. Just a moment...I'm detecting a problem with the AE-35 unit.

DAVE: The AE-35 unit?

HAL: The automatic seat warmers, Dave.

DAVE: Are you certain of this, HAL? Damned if I can find anything wrong with it.

HAL: Well if you'd quit falling asleep at the wheel, I wouldn't have to squirt water on your lazy ass and short out the frikkin' unit!
2001-07-23 03:44:35 PM  
How about a car that performs oral on you, that would keep me awake and cut down on the road rage too. Imagine millions of smiling drivers in no hurry to get anywhere.
2001-07-23 03:45:12 PM  
You know, this has been a damn funny thread for a pretty mundane story.
2001-07-23 06:52:44 PM  
Wouldn't it be more cost effective to just pick up a
homeless guy, and have him sit in the back seat and
occasionally poke at you with a sharp stick?
2001-07-24 06:46:17 PM  
There's no need to go high-tech. If I feel there's the possibility that I'll get sleepy while driving, I just take a bottle of water and pour some over my head as needed. Sure, you get some strange looks from other drivers, but it works and it doesn't add to the sticker price of the car.
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