Your dog wants a dinner invite.

Poop thread?

"She would lick the dog tongue to tongue," she said. "It was unnatural. It was unhealthy."
That's so hot!!

I'm broke and not getting a kick outa this.

Put. The. Dog. Down.

your dog sucks. What the heck does a dog do with 12 million bucks?

Walker: 1. Get bitten by $12 million dog
2. Sue $12 million dog for $12 million
3. Profit!

Really, the first time that dog bites someone again, watch how fast the lawyers handling the suit use up all that money.

So Trouble could bite the hand that feeds him.

The housekeeper had it coming to her.

A dog barely alive. Gentlemen, we have the technology. We can rebuild him. Twice.

As someone who bites maids, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Son got 10M and the dog got 12M. AT least she threw Sonny a bone and made him the exutor. Bwaa, still - the Dog got more than you.

Dogs that bite me get kicked.

I read this coont's will in my wills and trusts class. biatch put the part giving her dog money before the part where she specifically mentioned the 2 grandkinds who got nothing. There is no excuse to put one's dog before actual family. I hope she's burning in an eternal fire.

Shakespeare's Monkey: She was fukin goofy.

Goofy is a dog.

yotta: Shakespeare's Monkey: She was fukin goofy.

Goofy is a dog.

As is Pluto. or a planet. or a sub-planet...

Ding, dong the witch is dead. Which old witch, the batshiat crazy old witch.

Good to see this nasty piece of work choke her last.

/Death will get her little dog too.
/Yay, Death

SlothB77: Helmsley believed her late husband, Harry, communicated with her through the dog.

"She would lick the dog tongue to tongue. It was unnatural. It was unhealthy."

that's a lot of crazy.

Sounds like LH was doing some pretty hard rationalizing for sharing her bed with the little bastard.

//"Room Service? Send up more peanut butter, NOW!!"

She would lick the dog tongue to tongue," she said. "It was unnatural. It was unhealthy."

I think I'm going to fukking puke.

Magorn: Anybody want to try to assert that society will recieve a greater economic benefit

It's privately-owned money. Why does society's benefit matter?

If it's not spent, some bank will "benefit society" anyway by putting out more loans. And if it is spent, some working stiff gets paid. What's the prob?

"She would lick the dog tongue to tongue," she said. "It was unnatural. It was unhealthy.""


I really wish I hadn't read that.

Yes, I'm going to help this dog spend his money. First, on a 1957 Les Paul. Then, two biatches at one time.

Helmsley believed her late husband, Harry, communicated with her through the dog.

"She would lick the dog tongue to tongue. It was unnatural. It was unhealthy."

OttoDog: Sounds like LH was doing some pretty hard rationalizing for sharing her bed with the little bastard.

//"Room Service? Send up more peanut butter, NOW!!"


Just what I was thinking.

Old Victorian ladies had lapdogs for company.

Now, it's generally assumed that 'lap' meant 'lap', as in 'on her lap/ legs'. But 'lap' also means a particular way cats and dogs eat ie, 'lapping up the food'.

What I'm trying to say is that those lap dogs had a dual purpose. Understand?

I'm thinking Trouble was eating more than just dog food, and shagging more than just the stuffed panda.


Yeah, I went there. She's dead anyway, she can't sue me! And she doesn't care who knows. Neh!

Magorn: A dog, a non-sentient creature with the IQ of a two year-old (being generous) controls wealth equal to an American in the top .01% earnings.

I think it depends on the dog. Granted, this dog sounds like he has problems with oppositional behavior, but plenty of dogs use sound judgment and treat others in an appropriate manner. In many cases, a dog would be able to exercise better financial judgment than our elected officials in the spending of our tax monies.

To a dog-hater, this may be a black and white issue, but the real world is more shades of gray. We should remember that past generations considered black people to be sub-human and incapable of managing their affairs and thus needed pateralistic white people to control them. Now that such racists attitudes have been conquered, we know that black people are capable of managing their affairs better than the great majority of animals. I say, give the dog a chance to prove himself, and he may prove that the prejudices of the past no longer apply.

"It's nobody's business," growled Susan Rosenthal, whose husband, Alvin, inherits Trouble in the will. He also was appointed a trustee of the Helmsley estate.

I think Farkers should assume the responsability of keeping an eye on alvin and susan to "make sure the dog is properly cared for".

Wearing a brace because of nerve damage due to Maltese bites. That's good. Real good.

von fapowitz: I think I'm going to fukking puke.

If you're afraid of the word fark, maybe this website isn't for you.

Not that I am defending this woman for giving $12 million to her dog...but she did donate the proceeds from the sale of her assets and properties to her charitable trust.

/Sorry...I mean...what a selfish whore!

Enough about the poor goddamn grandchildren. First of all, they're adults and not cute and cuddly kids. And they just may be huge assholes just like grandma. Stop feeling sorry for them. It was her money, and she could do whatever the hell she wanted with it.

Blood doesn't mean you deserve anything.

on the internet, nobody knows I am NOT Leona Helmsley's dog.

Dear Friend, I have inherited the sum of twelve million dollars ($US12,000,000) and need your help getting it out of the country. ...

LH was just a shiatty old biatch and having worked in the pet industry for a few years back in the day, I have to say that Maltese dogs are some of the shiattiest dogs ever bred.

People that own those little pieces of crap never house train them and treat them like human children. They are all brain damaged (owners and dogs alike) due to all the inbreeding done to get the size and the long coat that falls out when they get old, proof that small dogs are as usefull as a bowl full of diarreah coated sterile bandages.

Small dogs are useless unless you need a source of meat during the apocolypse.

soupgoblin: Small dogs are useless unless you need a source of meat during the apocolypse.

Larger dogs would still be a better investment.

Couldn't someone just grab some ink and get the inprint of the dog's paw to get the money? Who says someone/thing with a trust can't give the money away?

Which one's the biatch? Both, maybe. Somebody needs to kill that koont. Wait...

Maybe there is a god.