Don't eat meat and don't frequent restaurants and you wont have these problems. If people knew the kind of disgusting things that go on in the back of house parts of most restuarants stories like these would be the feel good pieces ...

"Do you know what they do to those animals??"

"No. But it's delicious."

/gaffigan rules.

Pffft. We're talking about farking England for chrissake. Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there? Those people can't tell the difference between a veal calf and a pile of its excrement anyway. This is a country where fish sticks and fried potatoes have been a staple since Francis Drake.

mmmm burritos


shiat, now I am hungry

Knucklepopper - Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there?

More importantly, have you?

This is a country where fish sticks and fried potatoes have been a staple since Francis Drake.

This statement suggests you've never been near the UK.

Knucklepopper: Pffft. We're talking about farking England for chrissake. Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there? Those people can't tell the difference between a veal calf and a pile of its excrement anyway. This is a country where fish sticks and fried potatoes have been a staple since Francis Drake.

LOL! QFT- Just boil it, cover it in mayonnaise and done!

MMMM I gotz Nathan's hotdogs


no u cant have one

and I have heard that some English foods are indeed scary. But I think it depends on where you are or who you are with, too. I know folks there so I'd at least ask to find some place that I can possibly deal with. Failing that, I can cook.....I can microwave hotdogs.

We're talking about farking England for chrissake. Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there?

Does a lukewarm pile of bland, lumpy crap pass for "decent" in England? 'Cause that's all I ever got over there, no matter where I went.

Knucklepopper: Pffft. We're talking about farking England for chrissake. Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there?

I thought the UK has a couple of Mcdonalds? None of that nasty protein there!

gradatim - Does a lukewarm pile of bland, lumpy crap pass for "decent" in England? 'Cause that's all I ever got over there, no matter where I went.

That was deliberate, which is not the same thing at all.

All you previous posters, you're right. The UK has shiatty food. All the chicks have fat arses, bad teeth (we all do) and faces like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. It's cold, the weather is always bad and there's nothing on TV. There are 40 hooligans clustered into the few random shady alleys that aren't being constantly monitored by the nanny state and our healthcare system sucks.

Basically, don't come here. Ever. You'd be better off in Somalia or Denmark.

chemical_angel: Don't eat meat

No.

Dogbeast: gradatim - Does a lukewarm pile of bland, lumpy crap pass for "decent" in England? 'Cause that's all I ever got over there, no matter where I went.

That was deliberate, which is not the same thing at all.

All you previous posters, you're right. The UK has shiatty food. All the chicks have fat arses, bad teeth (we all do) and faces like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. It's cold, the weather is always bad and there's nothing on TV. There are 40 hooligans clustered into the few random shady alleys that aren't being constantly monitored by the nanny state and our healthcare system sucks.

Basically, don't come here. Ever. You'd be better off in Somalia or Denmark.

To honest, that seems to sum up Glasgow and Edinburgh pretty well, aside from the healthcare bit.

ENGLISH KIDNEY PIE

Take two kidneys and boil the piss out of them.


Serves 4

.

Mad Cow is actually an upgrade in the UK.

lionfish: /gaffigan rules.

Read further in the story: "home cooked" means microwaved

It's like a Gaffigan bit come to life.

chemical_angel: Don't eat meat and don't frequent restaurants and you wont have these problems. If people knew the kind of disgusting things that go on in the back of house parts of most restuarants stories like these would be the feel good pieces ...

NOT This. I've worked in restaurants far more then I would have liked to, and as long as you're not sending food back, there will be no food terrorism; that being said I do have to strongly advise against sending food back, unless it's something obvious like RARE chicken, ask for a new one and you'll be fine; if it's a case where you're steak isn't done enough...many times you might be better off having something else...cooks are sensitive and...have a salad,trust me

From TFA:Less common is powdered potato - often conspicuous by its ever-present lumps - but still passed off by crafty caterers as genuine mash.

This food critic is pretty far removed from the standard po' folks home-cooked meal. Powdered potatoes are conspicuous by their LACK of lumps. Powdered potates always end up too creamy for my taste. Unless you are gonna use a blender or food processor, or if you have an insane amount of time on your hands, real mashed potates will be lumpy.

/leaves the skins on
//wife HATES it

Okay, all I'm hearing in this article is "wah wah wah, zebu isn't technically beef according to some association of british meat producers". Take a look at the farking things: they're cows. They're cows with funny looking humps, but they're still cows. They're of the same freakin' genus as all the numerous varieties of cattle here in the US. It's beef. I don't give a flying crap what specific species my beef comes from so long as it tastes good. Honestly, if you can't tell until someone has to farking DNA test the damn meat, what's the problem?

ps. The UK has great food, if you know where to go- you can't just walk into any old pub. If you do, you're gonna get bland, boiled slop (though the sausages are almost always good). And, after drinking all night, the worst kebab in the world still tastes like heaven. Grease and beer are the best of friends... it's like Waffle House at 5 a.m. (for the 'mericans in the house.)

How could anyone not like a nice bit of Boeuf Wellington?

I am glad I live in the US where this could never happen. Right? Please God tell me this couldn't happen here.

What really cracked me up is that they called boil-in-a-bag food "sous vide", as the French name gave a sense of gourmet sophistication. Well, yeah, in France, we do use this term. But the reputation for sous-vide food is a tad above freezed food.

FTA: "the only way to experience what William Burroughs called " the naked lunch""

Loads and loads of heroine and alcohol? Really, the author has never read the work, or Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle".

Overall, an interesting read.

The worst country I have eaten in was England. Very closely followed by Germany.

Best FOREIGN country for food I had was Spain. The best overally ? My own, France. No, we did not STEAL that reputation, I can assure you.

But some times, I still madly crave southern-style BBQ backribs.

yukichigai: ...they're still cows. They're of the same freakin' genus as all the numerous varieties of cattle here in the US. It's beef. I don't give a flying crap what specific species my beef comes from so long as it tastes good. Honestly, if you can't tell until someone has to farking DNA test the damn meat, what's the problem?

If you ordered the chihuahua, and they served you labrador, would you be pissed?

If you feel ripped off because someone gave you zebu instead of angus, you paid too farking much for your meal in the first place.

Overpriced food is for suckers, impressing shallow status seekers, and wooing gold-diggers.

Very rarely is an entree worth paying more than $10 for, and even less so over $15.

/I confess, though, there is an Indian restaurant nearby that's worth paying over $15 for entrees, but it's rated best in the North Bay, and well deserving of that reputation.

Bob Down: Knucklepopper: Pffft. We're talking about farking England for chrissake. Have you ever tried to get a decent meal there?

I thought the UK has a couple of Mcdonalds? None of that nasty protein there!

...and it's sad when McDonald's is the good food choice...

Outrail:
If you ordered the chihuahua, and they served you labrador, would you be pissed?

Yeah, but not if I ordered "dog" and got Labrador.

eraser8: kyuzokai writes: it's like Waffle House at 5 a.m.

Don't badmouth Waffle House. That place is good ANY time. It doesn't matter if it's 3 AM or 5 AM or even 1 AM. That's good eatin'.

Two words:

explosive diarrhea

FTA: according to the people at the English Beef and Lamb Executive, produces "meat with an overall poorer eating quality and more variability than that from British or European breeds"

Move along, Nothing to see here, people.

This is just the Independent (which is otherwise anti-USA and very left wing in all other aspects) giving head to the British Beef Industry's giant marketing machine doubtlessly out of some independent editor's quest against imported food. Yes, you british consumer! Buy shiate british beef because.. umm.. because it's.. err.. environmentally friendly! Ya, that's the ticket.

For the folks not in the know, the Independent is like a bizarro world version of Fox News. Same spin, same self-serving logic, but for left wing causes. As a through and through leeberul, I am routinely embarassed by the Independent.

It's like an ox, only it has a hump and a dewlap.

Relatively Obscure: I don't think anyone was saying they couldn't sell and serve zebu. I believe that people simply want to be told whether or not their "prime" cut of beef is coming from some cow toughened to the conditions of a harsher lifestyle. It should also probably be sold at "zebu" prices, whatever those are.

Obscure: sad to see you're a fan of BS european protectionism, thoough your logic fails you even there.

Clearly, the price for zebu is the price people are willng to pay (and do) in the restaurant. If I go to a fair in the UK, I typically pay 3 quid or whatever for a shiate burger largely filled with oats and shredded chinese newspaper. It was my choice to buy such an abomination, so they continue to do so. Pathetic, but true.


QED.

Naman: Very rarely is an entree worth paying more than $10 for, and even less so over $15.

ME: Laughs uncontrollably.

Man, oh man. For the life of me, I don't even know where I can even eat for less than $10 for lunch these days, and I'm in freaking eastern europe at the moment.

You have got to get out more.

/ most expensive full meal bought this year: Matsuri in london - approximately GBP 150 ($300) per head. Least expensive: some place in Jaipur india: about a buck or two for the same amount of food. Both meals were worth it.

Dogbeast: This statement suggests you've never been near the UK.

I have; and judging from the comments, so have many people who were positively thrilled to return home where decent food is decent. You people do pour decent liquor and you have good writers if that makes you feel any better. But we have In-and-Out Burger.

eraser8

i may have to disagree---i don't like the vinegar type sauce of that area, or the sweet type sauce of KC bbq----bbq is anything slow smoked, whether it beef, pork, chicken or whatever else you an name, and really if it is good bbq you shouldn't have to have any sauce

Knucklepopper - But we have In-and-Out Burger.

If that's your idea of decent quality food, then we speak different languages anyway. Though I thought they only sold In-and-Out in California?

Outrail: If you ordered the chihuahua, and they served you labrador, would you be pissed?
More like ordering dog and receiving dingo meat, as opposed to labrador meat.
It's stupid to make a fuss over it. If the meat is slaughtered and handled properly, prepared well and nobody considers it inferior until told it's zebu, the meat is just as good.
Hell, they could openly sell the zebu meat, call it "wild beef" and charge twice the price. People would buy it.

chemical_angel: Don't eat meat and don't frequent restaurants and you wont have these problems.

Wow, your life sounds like so much fun.

I've had horse, camel, boar, chicken, pheasant, quail, duck, goose, snake, alligator and possibly cat (just not sure), rabbit and pork of all kinds. I LIKE LAMB but it's oily as hell.

Didn't hate a one of them, they all eat different and they all cook a little different. Lamb being the most different, best to cook it with exposed heat like a convection oven or on skewer in a closed dutch over a fire. Duck can be even oilier, remember to empty the drip-pan often if you rotisserie.

Horse? Extra tenderizing and possibly some tissue tenderizer like the islander's powders.

The trick with cat as far as I can tell is to use light oils and pressure-cook meat after you've flash boiled it then deboned. Some dangerous bones in the lower legs so don't even bother cooking that.

No real way to cook camel and not have it be it.

I RTFA, and, man, what a whiny bunch of crap. 'Be careful when you're ordering A, because they just might serve you B, which is, horror of all horrors, SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT!!!' OH NOES!!!!

Honestly, I thought I was going to read about people being served things that were dangerous. If it's not going to make me sick or taste horrible, I don't care what it is. Just bring it to me.

FTA: JD Wetherspoon retaliated by saying: "Zebu is a breed of cattle taxonomically identical to any other breed of cattle such as Charolais, Limousin or Hereford."

Did no one catch this insult to French beef.

Dogbeast: The UK has shiatty food. All the chicks have fat arses, bad teeth (we all do) and faces like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. It's cold, the weather is always bad and there's nothing on TV. There are 40 hooligans clustered into the few random shady alleys that aren't being constantly monitored by the nanny state and our healthcare system sucks.


You forgot to mention that you all talk funny, and the men are effeminante which probably means they are teh ghey.