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(Breitbart.tv)   If there's one thing busted celebrities teach us over and over, it's that it is never too late to use the "I found Jesus" card, even if you've pleaded guilty to dogfighting   (breitbart.tv) divider line 418
    More: Dumbass  
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13285 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Aug 2007 at 5:10 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-08-27 05:19:16 PM
netweavr:

What is the proper punishment? It seems to me that his punishment is disproportionately harsh.


Hmm... maybe you've got a point. Maybe we should go back and reconsider all those suggestions that he be rubbed in hamburger grease and thrown into a dog-fighting pit. That might be fairer, and certainly more appropriate.
 
2007-08-27 05:19:54 PM
I submitted this with:

Vick: I found Jesus. He was right there under those dog carcasses the whole time

And I'm sorry, but that's better.

And no, that's not a cliche, I really mean it.

/not bitter
 
2007-08-27 05:21:05 PM
I always knew Vick was a thug, but trotting out the old tried-and-true "I gots me reeeee-lijun"" was about as clichéd as chalking it all up to his dear old "mammy".

Vick is truly a stupid, stupid "man".

i32.photobucket.com
 
2007-08-27 05:21:09 PM
netweavr:He's just being ragged on by the man. They don't understand his culture, this is what he comes from. If you hate the crime, attack his culture, don't attack him.

What? Red-neck culture.
 
2007-08-27 05:21:42 PM
Lorelle: Awww, he shouldn't have apologized. As Jamie Foxx recently stated, dogfighting is a cultural thing.

This weekend my brother-in-law tried to make the point that white people owning slaves was a cultural thing.

/not me, not my point
 
2007-08-27 05:21:58 PM
That apology speech seemed about as genuine as the ones Moms extract from eight year old boys when they draw a mustache on my sister's face.
 
2007-08-27 05:22:11 PM
xpennyroyaltyx: oh, i don't used "diluted, liberalized, Xianity" as a basis to paint all religions the same.

Yes you do.

You used YOUR view of what Xianity theology is (and you're wrong on that) and you used that to paint all religions the same, so don't give me that shiat about "I just use my critical thinking skills and logic" when you make such broad and wrong statements.
 
2007-08-27 05:22:22 PM
Jesus was there the whole time. He was just buried under a pile of dead dogs.
 
2007-08-27 05:22:29 PM
Wabash: netweavr: Free Vick!

Fark that noise. He did the crime, now he has to do the time.


He's probably doing little, if any, time. He'll rat out others, and get a nice pat on the ass from the govt.
 
2007-08-27 05:22:37 PM
www.pathguy.com
 
2007-08-27 05:22:50 PM
Ya know, since Jesus has to keep being found all the time maybe we should chip in and get his ass a GPS system so he'll stop getting lost.
 
2007-08-27 05:23:03 PM
He'll find Allah in prison.
 
2007-08-27 05:23:13 PM
Damnit, trueaustinite!
 
2007-08-27 05:23:18 PM
nakhash: netweavr:He's just being ragged on by the man. They don't understand his culture, this is what he comes from. If you hate the crime, attack his culture, don't attack him.

What? Red-neck culture.


Red-neck culture, Urban culture, Political cultures.

Attack them all.
 
2007-08-27 05:23:33 PM
Coming soon: Vick claims he was doing drugs when these crimes took place, and is now going to (insert celeb rehab facility here).
 
2007-08-27 05:23:38 PM
I am sure he'll be calling out to Jesus when goes to prison and Bubba makes him his new beyotch!
 
2007-08-27 05:23:54 PM
netweavr: If you hate the crime, attack his culture, don't attack him.

Hehe
 
2007-08-27 05:23:56 PM
netweavr
N. S. Radieaux:
Only atheists seem to realize all the perks that people get for being religious. The "I found Jesus" card is but one example. What's the atheist equivalent?

The "I found Jesus" card.


Zing.
 
2007-08-27 05:24:08 PM
That apology speech seemed about as genuine as the ones Moms extract from eight year old boys when they draw a mustache on my sister's face.

On that note, what is your sister doing to attract random eight year old boys to draw on her face?
 
2007-08-27 05:24:12 PM
Can't someone just please string up this jig and be done with it?

yes, even my grandmother apologizes...
 
2007-08-27 05:24:25 PM
Wabash: netweavr: FREE VICK!

Free? Well in that case I'll take three.


Sweet!! Make 'em fight each other to the death!
 
2007-08-27 05:24:27 PM
Lorelle: Awww, he shouldn't have apologized. As Jamie Foxx recently stated, dogfighting is a cultural thing.

So, apparently, is going to prison.
 
2007-08-27 05:24:43 PM
orclover: Prob get a year and a day in prison, do 10 months and laugh his ass off all the way back into football with his 100 million waiting for him.

I was worried about that too, bro. But there is seems to be a pretty big backlash about this. Pro football came down hard on him. Looks like Atlanta is going to go after him for violating the terms of his contract. So he may have to return a great deal of the money/bonuses he's received. I think (not to mention hope) the guys football career is over.

All I know is that one of the first thing agents found on his property was a dead Golden Retriever that had been used as a bait dog. Or at least pieces of it.

You can fry the mf as far as I'm concerned.
 
2007-08-27 05:25:01 PM
"For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous." - Romans 2:14
 
2007-08-27 05:25:53 PM
His "apology" was actually going pretty well up until he pulled the Jesus card.
 
2007-08-27 05:26:31 PM
The prison thugs like Allah. I think it's the prayer mats that draw them.
 
2007-08-27 05:26:36 PM
The best part is that a couple of hours before his press conference CNN or MSNBC or whatever annoying-ass 24 hour news channel my dad was watching this morning read an email from a viewer asking something along the lines of, "The only question now is, 'How long will it be before Michael Vick claims to have found God as a way of getting a lesser punishment?'".

When he got to the point in his sad and certainly insincere speech about finding Jesus, I started howling in laughter. It really was beautiful.
 
2007-08-27 05:26:46 PM
netweavr: [quizzical dog]

On the way up was a bridge over a cascading stream they had to cross; and under the bridge lived netweavr, with eyes as big as saucers, and a nose as long as a poker.
 
2007-08-27 05:26:47 PM
Grendl2000: "For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous." - Romans 2:14

shut up
 
2007-08-27 05:26:52 PM
I had the opinion months ago that our beloved Paris Hilton got screwed with too harsh of a sentence. This view wasn't shared by many. This guy threw his life away for a crime more heinous than Paris' (driving with a suspended license - twice). Paris got a worse sentence than any Joe Schmoe would have received. Any of us Farkers would suffer severe consequences for these charges. We would be in jail for a long time. Justice shall be blind. Lock 'im up!
 
2007-08-27 05:27:28 PM
I am so tired of hearing about the culture argument. Whether he was raised to think that dog fighting is ok is completely unrelated here. Note the following:

Dog fighting is illegal in EVERY STATE. It is against the law to pit dogs against each other for sport.

Cruelty to animals is illegal, as well. Beating an animal to death is a punishable offense.

It doesn't matter if someone personally thinks that dog fighting is a reasonable and fun way to pass the time... He lives in this country, he knows our laws, and he broke them anyway. There's a reason why all the dog fighting activities in the U.S. are kept in secret: They're illegal!

If you want to be a macho, big shot jerk who pits animals against each other for sport and then tortures the losers to death, move to a country in which that "culture" is supported by the local laws. Otherwise, STFU and take your punishment for being a macho, big shot jerk.

And leave Jesus out of it... I might be a card-carrying atheist myself, but my Catholic upbringing leaps to life and wants to strangle any two-bit thug or spoiled prima donna who lives as though he IS a god but then weepily professes allegiance to the Big Guy when he gets caught. Too little too late, pal.
 
2007-08-27 05:27:30 PM
I found Jesus.
Had a fun time explaining to the Border Patrol why he was hiding in my fender well.
 
2007-08-27 05:28:14 PM
Jesus is Vick's new bookie who keep his mouth shut
/word on the street is
 
2007-08-27 05:28:22 PM
IntotheAbyss: Ya know, since Jesus has to keep being found all the time maybe we should chip in and get his ass a GPS system so he'll stop getting lost.

FTW!
 
2007-08-27 05:30:06 PM
nakhash: Hence the popularity of cock fighting. Personally, I think this would make much more sense of men actually, you know, fought with their own. Kinda like fencing. I might tune in to ESPN for that.

You ever see Skin Deep?
 
2007-08-27 05:30:24 PM
tuna fingers: I had the opinion months ago that our beloved Paris Hilton got screwed with too harsh of a sentence. This view wasn't shared by many. This guy threw his life away for a crime more heinous than Paris' (driving with a suspended license - twice). Paris got a worse sentence than any Joe Schmoe would have received.

Yesterday I bought a new washer-dryer set. It came with a lint basket and a nifty-difty prefilter for the water supply. I wonder if Paris Hilton has one? It would be just as relevant to the thread if she did, I think.
 
2007-08-27 05:30:30 PM
Serious, or trolling, ascribing anything to "culture" is providing that person a bs copout.

"Hey, don't take responsibility for your actions, it's a cultural thing."
 
2007-08-27 05:31:14 PM
A burgler breaks into a house and as soon as he gets inside, He hears, "Jesus is watching you!" Startled, he looks around to see where the voice is coming from, just as he hears "Jesus is watching you!" coming from a small birdcage in the corner of the room.

He asks the bird, "Are you Jesus?" The bird replies, "No, I'm Moses." "What kind of person names a bird Moses?" asks the thief. "The same people who named a 200 pound Rottweiler, Jesus." Quips the bird.



/Never type an old joke hopped up on allergy meds, no matter how fitting it is to the topic at hand...
 
2007-08-27 05:31:15 PM
mdeuce23

Is that funky dance really necessary when caning? Maybe that's where I've been going wrong?
 
2007-08-27 05:31:16 PM
He was behind the couch!

img124.imageshack.us
 
2007-08-27 05:31:33 PM
I found Jesus, but I went back a few days later and he was gone. In his place were some Peeps.
 
2007-08-27 05:31:37 PM
ku4a: Is Paris Hilton gonna help him with his bible study?

yep. the video will be available soon after.
 
2007-08-27 05:32:24 PM
ropegun:

I'm with you. I hope his football career is over. It seems to be the one thing that he truly cares about, so take it away from him. There's your true punishment.

I doubt he'll really suffer in jail... He'll be a hero to those guys. He won't have any trouble making do until his release. But if he never plays football again, he WILL suffer.
 
2007-08-27 05:32:32 PM
It isn't all that remarkable at all that everyone in prison finds Jesus. Half the people in there have that name.
 
2007-08-27 05:33:19 PM
imagecache2.allposters.com

/oblig
 
2007-08-27 05:33:44 PM
I believed Mr. Vick's apology and I bet that he has always had religion. Having religion doesn't mean free of sin.
 
2007-08-27 05:34:15 PM
He should go to rehab.

btw, Fark sucks these days.
 
2007-08-27 05:34:15 PM
xpennyroyaltyx: Tatsuma >> it's not necessarily Michael Vick that 'proves' the whole idea of forgivness found in religious doctrine is a face. . . it's the idea that you can do whatever you want to whom or what ever you want to do it to (no matter how horrendous and vile) and some magic space benefactor will wave His Magic Wand and make it all okay for you.

If people like Michael Vick get to go to "heaven" 'cause they pretended to ask for forgiveness and maybe really kind of sort of really meant it and/or found Jesus, i really, really, really, would like to go to "hell"

he is only sorry that he got caught. he only regerts not getting away with it.



FAIL. You, obviously, dont have a clue.
 
2007-08-27 05:34:32 PM
Foaming
That wasn't a mustache.
 
2007-08-27 05:34:41 PM
netweavr: Free Vick!.

Only available with the purchase of Vick of equal or lesser value.
 
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