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(St. Petersburg Times)   Bored teen whiles away afternoons making phony maydays to Coast Guard on stolen marine radios. Sailin', takes him away   (sptimes.com) divider line 38
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6146 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2007 at 5:09 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2007-08-26 04:11:24 AM
Keel haul the farker over a barnacle-encrusted hull numerous times.

/That will certainly not bore him.
 
2007-08-26 04:26:29 AM
"He said he needed something to do."

My dad had a simple solution to that.

I ended up building three houses with him and restored another one...
 
2007-08-26 05:12:47 AM
Why did you use 3 dots? Did he also drop you on the head alot?
 
2007-08-26 05:16:00 AM
What a bag of douche. Is he old enough to work? If so, they should force him to get a job and turn his paychecks over to the USCG to pay for the man hours he wasted. Can you imagine how much it would suck to not only work at a shiatty McJob but not even be able to keep your paycheck. Bet it would make him think twice before doing anything that stupid again.
 
2007-08-26 05:17:26 AM
I always wondered why this doesnt happen more often. I guess this explains it. But 4th of July in San Francisco down in the mission district there was at least one signal flare sent up with the illegal fireworks... It was Awesome.

freepages.misc.rootsweb.com

that aint it, but close enough.
 
2007-08-26 05:19:18 AM
Bad, bad subby! Putting Christopher Cross in my head at this hour (or any hour, for that matter). Dang you to heck!
 
2007-08-26 05:21:54 AM
DrBenway: Bad, bad subby! Putting Christopher Cross in my head at this hour (or any hour, for that matter). Dang you to heck!


i thought of Styx.


/iii'm sailiing awaaay...
 
2007-08-26 05:27:32 AM
Damn you Tarx. Now I have to sing the whole song to get it out of my head.

Im sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
Ive got to be free, free to face the life thats ahead of me
On board, Im the captain, so climb aboard
Well search for tomorrow on every shore
And Ill try, oh lord, Ill try to carry on

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But well try best that we can to carry on

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
 
2007-08-26 05:28:09 AM
He should have to pay for the helicopter flights and the fruitless searches (I love fruitless searches) by the Coast Guard. Just like the average American pays for their ambulance ride when they really need it (pricey!).

Stupid farker... kid needs to DIAF
 
2007-08-26 05:28:46 AM
evil rhinobird: Now I have to sing the whole song to get it out of my head.

LOLZ
 
2007-08-26 05:33:33 AM
evil rhinobird: Damn you Tarx. Now I have to sing the whole song to get it out of my head.



Saiiiilingg awayyy...
 
2007-08-26 05:37:10 AM

As a former Search and Rescue Coordinator for the U.S. Coast Guard and current U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Public Affairs Officer let me say this, unofficially, and strictly this is my own personal opinion and does not necessarily represent the United States Coast Guard, the Department of Homeland Security, nor any other Government Agencies:

BITE MY STINKING SMELLING HAIRY ARSE CRACK YOU BUTT-BRAINED STUPID KIDS!!!!
 
2007-08-26 05:37:47 AM
Sailing by Christopher Cross was the number one song in america this day 27 years ago.
 
2007-08-26 05:39:29 AM
If there's one thing in my life that's missing
It's the time that I spend alone
Sailing on the cool and bright clear waters
 
2007-08-26 05:40:25 AM
Jeez, I don't know which is worse... Christopher Cross or Styx??? Either way you look or listen, it's a universe of suck.

Now excuse while I clean up the hairball I just hacked up.
 
2007-08-26 05:41:23 AM
This ought to really piss off the Guardian.
 
2007-08-26 06:49:24 AM
Was he pranking zee German Coast Guard(pops)?

www.winnipegrant.com

Vaht vahz he sinking about?
 
2007-08-26 06:53:20 AM
Gilligan!!
 
2007-08-26 07:04:35 AM
snatchbeast

I was in the Coast Guard. While this kid needs to be cleaning barnacles off the hulls of supertankers till the end of time, he cost the U.S. taxpayer absolutely nothing. If the helicopter hadn't flown that day due to the false alarm, it would have flown a training mission. If it had already flown the training mission and had to fly for the false alarm anyway, the crew would have had an early weekend. Coast Guard rescue missions do NOT cost taxpayers anything at all. If people started getting charged for rescues, the cost of life would be staggering because people would wait till it was too late before calling for help. People who say rescued people should be charged for their rescues should DIAF!
 
2007-08-26 07:11:44 AM
Ok, that was self-defeating, but you get my point... I hope...
 
2007-08-26 07:32:30 AM
You just wait until his cousin gets home.
 
2007-08-26 07:46:56 AM
gh0str1der: I was in the Coast Guard.

So you're really not getting a kick out of this?
 
2007-08-26 07:54:22 AM
I read that as "Bored teen whales". That would have been so much more awesomer.
 
2007-08-26 08:42:22 AM
I agree -to some extent- that rescued people shouldn't get charged for their rescue. However, this kid is another case: he wasn't in any danger of being 'rescued.' In my perfect world, as dictator I would charge the parents for the gas, man hours and related maintenance, regardless if it would have all be done on training, anyhow.

I'd compromise by letting their little snot factory pay it off by working that McJob until he was 18, and then charge the parents the remainder.with compunded interest.
 
2007-08-26 08:57:35 AM
EricSilverbear: As a former Search and Rescue Coordinator for the U.S. Coast Guard and current U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Public Affairs Officer

You must be very proud of yourself, miss.
/Obscure?
 
2007-08-26 08:58:52 AM
EricSilverbear
As a former Search and Rescue Coordinator for the U.S. Coast Guard and current U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Public Affairs Officer let me say this, unofficially, and strictly this is my own personal opinion and does not necessarily represent the United States Coast Guard, the Department of Homeland Security, nor any other Government Agencies:

Do folks typically drown while you finish speaking?
 
2007-08-26 09:04:43 AM
And when asked for his name, he gave the name of a cousin serving in Iraq. Now, this kid was an idiot to begin with, but if you are gonna give a name, give one that CAN'T BE TRACED BACK TO YOU!!! The little farktard deserved to be caught.
 
2007-08-26 09:08:23 AM
As a former coast guard search and rescue boat crewmember i would like to congradulate these kids on sending false sos's because without that we would be painting and doing other idiotic tasks instead of getting underway on our boat with pretty much no supervision ...ahh nothing like a nice search and rescue nap.

/station pt judith pre 9-11 ftw!!
 
2007-08-26 09:08:31 AM
gh0str1der: If people started getting charged for rescues, the cost of life would be staggering because people would wait till it was too late before calling for help.

They deserve it.
 
2007-08-26 09:25:58 AM
If I were stranded in, say, a state park or something after dark b/c I was lost or injured, AND I knew I'd have to pay for my rescue?

I'd be like Rambo in them woods, hiding out from the rescue team until I could forge my way back to civilization, living off the land.
 
2007-08-26 11:09:57 AM
pics.livejournal.com
 
2007-08-26 11:12:51 AM
I came here to say that headline is a trainwreck of the english language.

That is all.
 
2007-08-26 12:24:54 PM
Fry his ass!

As a recreational sailor who has sailed in the North Sea, Pentland Firth, and more recently in the calm waters of Buzzards Bay and the North East coast of the US, I'm really not getting a kick out of this.

There is a certain comfort in knowing that if things really turn to shiat, you can call on the radio and there is a sporting chance that the Coast Guard/RNLI will show up to pull your sorry arse out of the oggin after it all goes pear-shaped. Because Mother Nature is a biatch, and the biatch is out to kill you.

But if aforementioned Coast Guard is out responding to a false mayday issued by some bored teen farkwit, this reduces the odds that they will come to the aid of mariners in real distress. (Resource constraints, not at all a comment on the courage of the Coast Guard).
 
2007-08-26 03:30:53 PM
Let me explain the problem: No father around.

Seems like that is where the Ole US of A is headed, shiatsville run by kids raised by single mothers.
 
2007-08-26 03:58:10 PM
Oh, I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Prank callin' the Coast Guard!
 
2007-08-26 05:04:47 PM
He should get life. F**k him.
 
2007-08-26 07:12:15 PM
EricSilverbear: As a former Search and Rescue Coordinator for the U.S. Coast Guard and current U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Public Affairs Officer ...

Good to see a fellow member of the Silver Side on board here. I've done some SAR training myself, and this is not something you ought to fark around with. This kid is never going to get everything he deserves for this waste of manpower and resources.

/Semper Paratus
//8th District, Coastal Region
///Standard personal opinion disclaimers apply
 
2007-08-27 03:51:46 PM
What, all those sailing lyrics, but no one other than me came up with Stephen Stills?

Got out of town on a boat gon' to southern islands.
Sailing a reach before a following sea.
She was making for the trades on the outside,
And the downhill run to Papeete.

Off the wind on this heading lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of waterline nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon, I tried to call you,
But on a midnight watch I realized why twice you ran away.

Think about how many times I have fallen.
Spirits are using me; larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world, lookin' for that woman-girl
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.

When you see the Southern Cross for the first time,
You understand now why you came this way.
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small,
But it's as big as the promise, the promise of a comin' day.

So I'm sailing for tomorrow. My dreams are a-dying.
And my love is an anchor tied to you, tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship, and all her flags are a-flying.
She is all that I have left, and music is her name.

Think about how many times I have fallen.
Spirits are using me; larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world, lookin' for that woman-girl
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.

So we cheated and we lied and we tested.
And we never failed to fail; it was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine will come along make me forget about loving you
In the Southern Cross.
 
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