'The man with no name' it seems.

I once fought off a raccoon with a piece of rubber hose.

You don't hear me bragging, do you?

if by lamer than usual you mean a living hell, then yes.

"A man armed with a machete-style hunting knife"

That's not a knife... It's a freakin' sword.

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man!

wth was the guy carring a hunting knife and a machettie? i think he was planning on attacking the poor bear.

Wal, a wiser fella than m'self once said, sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats you.

/That some kind of Eastern thing?
//Far from it.

As a guy who once bludgeoned a possum to death with a shovel, I'm getting quite a kick out of some of these replies.

You know who else got a kick out of some of these replies? A streetlight. One that has a bukket.

That man is taking "retrosexual" (a few stories earlier) a bit to far.

Officials aren't certain if it was a black bear that attacked the man.

They didn't mention robbery so I doubt it.

Headline should read: "Man beats off bear . . . ."

It's Friday, though, so the lack of extra effort is forgivable.

pfft. Fighting bears IS my day job...

studebaker hoch

"Where did the bear get the knife?"

Apparently Canada reserves the right to arm bears.

News update: The momma bear is dead, they're looking for the babies so they can relocate them.

http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/local/story.html?id=e4675239-cf87-4f3 5-9c8c-0e4b3e6f5174&k=62376

fatal_exception: Officials aren't certain if it was a black bear that attacked the man.

They didn't mention robbery so I doubt it.

I feel bad for laughing at that.

shiftyeyeddog: Canada reserves the right to arm bears.

Zing!

jakomo002: News update: The momma bear is dead, they're looking for the babies so they can relocate them.

http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/local/story.html?id=e4675239-cf87-4f3 5-9c8c-0e4b3e6f5174&k=62376

Now I hate this guy.

Mustve really been hungry if he wanted man flesh.

sarcastic664: fatal_exception: Officials aren't certain if it was a black bear that attacked the man.

They didn't mention robbery so I doubt it.

I feel bad for laughing at that.

That's okay. I felt bad for posting it.

As a bear with a knife stuck in me, I find these comments funny.

/quick
//dirty
///forgot to change the subtitle

Also approves.

pantywaist

Officials aren't certain if it was a black bear that attacked the man. Black bears are more common than other species in the area, Beattie said.

Since the guy survived, I'd guess black bear. Even armed with a big freaking knife a man doesn't stand much chance of walking away from a fight with a grizzly.

Question for the ladies (if there are any), would a biatchen scar from a bear attack make a man more attractive?

Tried to get one during my trip to Alaska... FAILED

Isuldirs: shiftyeyeddog: Canada reserves the right to arm bears.

Zing!


DITTO

studebaker hoch "Where did the bear get the knife?"




"How he got in my pajamas, I shall never know..."

Story should have read: Dumbass hiker fails to pay attention to his surroundings, miraculously escapes getting what he deserved.

Attacking a bear is so fantastically stupid, by all rights he should be dead by now - sets a really bad example. 99.999% of the time you're better off balling up and trying to stay still. You'll get hurt, but not killed.

DISAPPROVES

even one more reason to

Yeah, well I had a really nasty looking orange barn cat hiss and come at me like a tiger. Little f'er charged and swiped at my jeans and I was not in the mood to play nice kitty with it, so I gave it some hobnail boot and it is true they do land on their feet. Well, that just got it much more pissed and I got scared.

My friend seeing what happened, comes along real fast (his farm and barn) and chops it with a wooden handle (axe, sledge hammer handle, take your pick, but no metal part). Second time you heard this CRACK! The cat is doing this little death dance. Apparently it was the same cat that swiped at his mom and sister and he and his father were hunting it thinking it was rabid. Then his brother, the hippie treehugger, heard the commotion, comes a running in, and shouts, "You're a SICK BASTARD! SICK! SICK!"

I was like, "Dude, shut the hell up; that was not a normal cat you could cuddle up with. Look what it did to my jeans!"

"SICK!"

All I could say to my friend was, "Lemme borrow that stick!"

Now if my friend did give me the stick, that would have made a headline.

/ would have been cooler if it were a bear and not a cat, though headline would read different
// two teenagers dead from bear attack
/// bear seen leaving with axe handle and picnic basket

I thought most farkers live in mom's basement and don't work.

I fight off hostile corporate competition with a keyboard.

To me, going out and stabbing bears seems sorta lame.

I'll take a bad day at work over an attack by a bear and stabbing it to death.

Not if your job is bear stabber.

Well, I wouldn't say that my work day is lamer than usual. A co-worker just handed me a delicious chocolate Riesen. Things are looking up.

"I once fought off a raccoon with a piece of rubber hose.

You don't hear me bragging, do you?"
I once poked a dead badger with a stick , and I boast about it at every oppourtunity..................yeahhh im aaaaaaaaalllll that.

Man fights off bear with hunting knife

I did that yesterday, with a butterknife.

cefm: Story should have read: Dumbass hiker fails to pay attention to his surroundings, miraculously escapes getting what he deserved.

Attacking a bear is so fantastically stupid, by all rights he should be dead by now - sets a really bad example. 99.999% of the time you're better off balling up and trying to stay still. You'll get hurt, but not killed.

wow you sound like you actually know what you're talking about there. Black bears are quiet and very easy to miss if you're preoccupied looking for signs of deer like this guy was. Also attacking a bear is stupid but defending yourself against one thats angry is a way better way to convince it to leave you than trying to act dead inspite of the fact that almost anyone would be sobbing and crapping their pants while they were curled up in the fetal position.

FTFA
Despite his injuries, "he seemed all right."

Thank you Adrenaline.....