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(Falls, off the Rocker)   No doubt about it, wives are good to have   ( divider line 18
    More: Sappy  
•       •       •

1950 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2001 at 2:37 PM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

18 Comments   (+0 »)

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2001-07-22 03:40:52 PM  
Japanese wives are better. 10 Reasons why-

1) Japanese women are HOT!!!

2) Japanese women know other hot Japanese women, who come to visit. This is known as "eye candy." Hey, I'm married, not dead.

3) There's rarely any biatching. When there is, it's in Japanese, so you can turn off your internal lexicon and ignore it.

4) In-laws live half the world away and don't speak English, so there's not biatching from them, either.

5) Marriage turns your dreamboat into a barge. Unless you have a Japanese woman, who makes an effort to stay thin.

6) I can't identify anything I eat, but it sure is good!

7) Japanese relatives back on the island can provide you with cool stuff like model robots and minidisc players.

8) She doesn't think anything I do is dorky, whether it's computer games, anime, RPGs, building robots, etc.

9) My schlong is the biggest one she's ever seen.

10) I am the envy of every man who has to go home to a fat, biatchy sow.

Of course, there are disadvantages. Such as the fact that she might karatify my ass if she gets mad. Getting your butt kicked by a girl half your size in public is not easy to live down.
2001-07-22 03:49:00 PM  
Hahaha. Dude that was funny.
2001-07-22 05:10:55 PM  
Skwidd, it's probably a good thing you're married to the type of female that, from birth, has probably been conditioned that pleasing her husband is the main reason for her existance. I hope that you're not such a loser that you don't take her efforts for granted, and that you take the time to tell her that you realize how fortunate you are to be loved by her for more than the pitiful reasons you listed above. If you don't, I hope she kicks your ass on a regular basis. You need it.
2001-07-22 05:15:18 PM  
BTW...I feel a twinge of pity for Falls. Being deprived of one's spousal unit for longer than a couple of weeks really sucks! Good for you, Falls, glad that you appreciate what you've got dude!
2001-07-22 06:01:58 PM  
awww... that was so sweet.
2001-07-22 06:16:47 PM  
In 1991 I went to Oklahoma City for a five month training program. My wife stayed behind in Davis, CA. After about three weeks I became so lonely that I begged her to quit her job and join me in OKC. Two years ago my wife moved to the Bay Area because of work, while I stayed in Davis to finish my MBA. Sure we saw each other every weekend, but it was still rough. That reminds me, I need to tell my wife how much she means to me. No one should have to go a long time separated from the one they love.
2001-07-22 07:54:41 PM  
This sort of ranting makes me think of how all of my friends who have gotten married and then disappeared. It is nice to meet someone that means that much to you, but all the guys that I know who are married never, or in some cases very very rarely, want to do anything. They don't go out with the guys anymore, either to drink or just go over to a friends house and see a mive, play a board game. They are, in most cases, TOTALLY dependant on their wives for their social life. Sounds like this guy has suffered this same fate. I am so glad I am single 8-]
2001-07-22 08:13:19 PM  
"I also have a sink full of dishes, three bags of trash that are almost blocking the door, two pizza boxes under my bed with a piece or two still in tact and no clean underwear."

What the hell? I have a girlfriend who's practically like a wife to me, and I still live like that. Only the pizza boxes don't fit under the bed, since it's just a mattress on the floor. Do I have to get married to get the good stuff?
2001-07-22 08:30:03 PM  
Geez, Doofus, take a joke, will ya?

The submissive Oriental wife is a stereotype. And an inaccurate one, at that.

[shameless plug]If you're really worried, take a look at her website-[/shameless plug]

Maybe you can explain her weird obsession with Instant Ramen and hatred of Peanut Butter and Jelly.
2001-07-22 08:50:22 PM  
Sounds like he needs a hooker to straighten out his mind. Then he will see what he was really missing (a piece of pie).
2001-07-22 10:26:37 PM  
Saton: With an email like 'ditzysista' I would hope Doofus is a woman.
2001-07-22 10:26:40 PM  
Skwidd, dude, ya just hafta understand. I've got this thing about male/female equality. The realist in me says " In a realtionship, there's always going to be one person who dominates the relationship more than the other, can't be helped, just the way it is." The hormone enraged biatchy female in me says " I'll be GODDAMNED if I'm the one who's going to be dominated by any male!" LOL Now see guys, this might help you understand why women are so unpredictable. The good and evil sides of our natures are constantly at war with each other. We want to be kind, sweet, loving, understanding and all that tender puppyshiat, but the screeching virago that lies just beneath the surface simply won't allow it. When the two sides come into conflict, we go postal and god help any poor unsuspecting male within dish slinging distance. We try tho loves, we do try. If we fail, there's always "Honey, I'm sorry I was such a biatch, how 'bout some make up head?" LOL
2001-07-22 10:28:52 PM  
Wait a sec..boobies...ah..erm..uh..funspot (nice term)...yep, I'm a woman!
2001-07-23 01:03:28 AM  
2001-07-23 01:21:43 AM  
Poor guy, I hope they're not premenstrual.
2001-07-23 04:23:17 AM  
and what he doesnt realise is that while hes 'thinking of Nancy' Nancy is off being mounted by several utility repairmen.

yes i am bitter
2001-07-23 08:47:13 AM  
That was a nice article..

For Rebbic, I am constantly TELLING my husband to go out and find some friends and have some fun.
2001-07-23 12:52:23 PM  
I have to disagree, what a loser. Sounded like a co-dependent slob who can't do anything but wait for his wife to do it. Like a kid who's lost his mommy ...
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