I WASN'T TAUGHT THIS IN SCHOOOL!!!! and using Howard Zinn's book to bore your friends about colonialism is a poor excuse for lack of curiosity and a library card.

Kevin Smith, a terrible director, wide-body Weinstein sycophant, crashed into the north side of the North Tower of the World Trade Center (WTC) at 8:46:30 a.m. local time (which was Eastern Daylight Time, or 12:46:30 UTC).

What did Jason Mews have to say?

THANKS FOR PUTTING THAT ALL IN BOLD I NEVER WOULD HAVE SEEN IT IN THIS LOW TRAFFIC FORUM. SMASH ISRAEL. THE GOVERNMENT DID 9/11.

Hey guys, newbie farker here, hoping some one out there will help me out and take a gander at a video me and my friends made for the Doritos contest (new window)
Doubt anyone here will miss our vast amount of references and tributes, as nothing on fark is ever obscure right?

I never realized it, but Neil Diamond's "Brother's Love Traveling Salvation Show" sounds like it was a huge influence on "Tear Me Down" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Also, LOL at viral marketer NEW FARKER LOOKINGN FOR ADVICE FROM A FORUM NO ONE EVER POSTS IN. good luck with that.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Also, LOL at viral marketer NEW FARKER LOOKINGN FOR ADVICE FROM A FORUM NO ONE EVER POSTS IN. good luck with that.

But you're here.
Hey, while you're here, watch this one too: Link (new window)

haha, can't stop clicking those links you keep posting! Let's get this baby VIRAL!

SockMonkeyHolocaust: haha, can't stop clicking those links you keep posting! Let's get this baby VIRAL!

How about this one? Link (new window)

I was hoping for a 24 finale thread. It would have been nice seeing as there used to be huge threads for 24 not so long ago. I'm not saying 24 was the greatest this season (or last, or the one before that...), but acknowledgment would have been nice. I mean, for christs sake, there was a Law and Order finale thread. I guess the longer Fark limps along the more mainstream and boring it will get.

/farewell 24

Still want to stab the fat guy from Lost. Smash Israel. USA out of South Africa.

San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Mine

Really not too surprised that the Last Airbender was panned but I don't understand how Shamalayan keeps getting high profile work. Man, hire the guy who did that hobbit movie, the crouching dragon hidden tiger movie, Hellboy or any of the Harry Potter movies.

Also, SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

that's showbiz...

Hey farcker, think you got clowns? N*gger you ain't got clowns; you got clowns with downs is what you got, b*tch.

Our magicians are all members of one of the major magic clubs in America such as the International Brotherhood of Magicians (IBM) or the Society of American Magicians (SAM). These are not clubs where you pay your dues and you are in. You have to first get sponsored by a magician in the club to join. Second, in order to become a member you have to perform and become accepted by your peers. It's not easy to do that! We have magicians with impressive magic credentials, such as Chuck Lehr. He's a columnist for magic magizines and has served as an officer for the national magic organizations. His magic resume reads like a "Who's Who". Hal, Brett, and Kenny of Kool Magic have all taught magic at meetings and conventions. Kenny is our local Lance Burton. Brett worked for years at a local magic shop teaching magic while also entertaining on weekends. We have outstanding magicians who know the most important key of all - how to entertain YOU and your guests!

SO. STEP. THE. FARK. OFF.

Degenerates (2013)
Directed by Will Gluck & Darren Lynn Bousman
Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Shia LeBouf play college freshmen roommates. They quickly begin to antagonize each other, unintentionally and slightly at first, but escalating into more elaborate and hilarious practical jokes. The climax of the film comes when Joseph Gordon-Levitt finally snaps and has Shia LeBouf tied up in the basement of an abandoned campus building and begins to graphically torture him. Running time approx 106 minutes.

freeshipping!!APad (same as iPad) android OS WIFI 7.0 inch touch screen G-sensor photo video music camera YouTube not work itunes-(Made in China which seems like Ipad
http://product.madeinchina.com/APad-same-as-iPad-android-OS-WIFI-7-0-inch-touch _ 12319321.shtml

I lost my only fark badge.

Anybody have a copy of this one? Originally posted in a showbiz thread that avoided the subject and becoming a thread of everybody admitting who the really were (some call me the space cowboy).

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/7439/farkbadge1.jpg

I don't remember who made it but I'd like to find a copy to post on my profile again. Thanks!

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

So I'm trying to get my sister into Star Trek again (when she was two or three she loved TOS, but then found other things to occupy her time). Obviously starting with the first episode would be preferable, but I want to gain her attention enough that she'll want to start there and watch it all (sounds like horrible trickery >_>).

I'm not all that familiar with TOS anymore, so the tl;dr of it is, anyone know some episodes to catch the interest of a ten year old?

MUY EXCELLENTE!

Losing my virginity tonight. No time for a slow jamz playlist. Going to have to wing it with either the 68' Comeback Special or Skinny Puppy and a strobe light.

If brevity is the soul of wit, this profile is the Stalingrad of online dating. You can call me Paulus.

libranoelrose: Not sure if this belongs here, but why the hell not??

For a moment, I thought that was some guitar hero video. Because of the lines.

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!

AND SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TILL RULES!

I feel compelled to warn everyone here about the movie Skyline:

Instead of spending 15 dollars on this movie I should have gone to the hardware store and bought a hammer and hit myself in the face with it repeatedly. That would only take five minutes and then, at least, I would have wasted but a few minutes of my life.

But no, I like Sci-Fi movies, right? How bad could it be? Even a bad Sci-Fi flick is better than some sappy chick-flick, isn't it? NO! Not in this case. The lines that come out of Scottie Thompson's (and everyone else's) mouth could have been written by a lobotomized bum at the end of a ten-year long paint-huffing and leaded-gasoline-drinking bender. A monkey randomly hitting keys on a typewriter could have churned out a better script in fifteen minutes. At this moment there are bacteria eating whale excrement on the bottom of the ocean that I respect more than the people that produced this turkey.

Halfway through the movie I started to pull for the aliens. If one of them would just have ripped the arms off Scottie Thompson's character and beat her to death with them: I would've been so happy. But no such luck.

I am dumber now for having seen this movie. May god have mercy on the souls of everyone whose name is listed in the credits.

There were some nice visuals, but pretty scenery does not a good movie make. The 2008 remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is an Academy Award contender compared to this film.

How someone could have read this screenplay and thought it would be a good movie is beyond me.

When it ended there was an audible murmur from the audience--at the same moment everyone in the theater said to themselves: "Really? You're going to stop it there?" There were snickers and shaking of heads, gnashing of teeth as everyone realized they'd been "had." It ended in the middle of a scene that needed resolution--obviously leaving itself open for a sequel. A sequel that I am certain will never be made: thank Jeebus.

If you are planning on going to see this because you're a fan of science fiction I simply offer this advice: go rent "District 9" and watch that movie again. Or "Cloverfield." Or "The Ice Pirates." Or "Battlefield Earth." (I'm kidding about that last one--but this one almost equally as bad.) You'll spend less money and be more satisfied in the end. (No, really.) Or you can just go buy a hammer and have your friends hit you about the face and neck for an hour and forty-five minutes.

Bullroarer_Took:

Just read the wiki about it... it does sound moronic.

Harvard's Tautology of The Penis 201 linguistics course was put on temporary hiatus when the teacher was diagnosed with ball cancer after failing the Trial by Ordeal (tm) defense of his doctoral thesis. It remains unclear how the teacher was subjected to enough radiation to cause a sudden outbreak by cancerous growths, but, according to the statistics department it was an even bet whether he would have survived the double dare whereas the physical challenge merely left him hairless and balless. Meanwhile, Harvard remains classless.

In other news: God continues to be dead and random chance once again assaults an uncaring universe. Maybe. Now here's Steve with Sports

I have an opinion about Burlesque, now in theaters, and I vote!

The lesbian scene from THE BLACK SWAN was so long and awesome that I got bored of watching the voice of Meg on the Family Guy and Padme Skywalker lezz out. Literally checked my watch every five minutes for the last sweat-drenched 15 minutes before the screen became so hot it melted to resemble Salvatore Dali's "Crazy Watches". If anything, the internet understated the lesbian scene.

Haha dude, I can't be the only person that has noticed that the story of Jesus is the story of ZOMBIES!!! Internet, prepare your zombie apocalypse plans. ZOMBIE JESUS is comeing!

(c) me. don't steal this. I just made this up.

They should greenlight a Spiderman story.

Greenlight my ass into my ass.

Showbiz tab is a bit compressed.

SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

Also, I want to know what Kevin Smith movies the people in the showbiz tab were watching where he wrote interesting, funny or believable dialogue. The big thing in Dogma was that god was a woman. Ok, right, who didn't think that was clever when they thought it up at age 14?

RE: Egypt and the internet

Haha, man once Twitter gets a hold of this story this dude is FARKED! He's going to fire up his various social media accounts and break down in a heap of tears at all the green avatars. Allah help him if he checks the comment section of any news site. His self esteem will be soooooo effed. SEACREST OUT!

SAN DIMAS HIGH CSHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!

How about that Charlie Sheen? INTERESTING!

If you liked that last post, you can find more at twitter.com/sh*tmyunfunnyfriendssay.com

I'd love to stay and rap with you but me and Sheen got to go do all the drugs in the world ever. Peace.

*hits button on jetpack*