ok I will stop saying that if you guys promise to stop trying to lure me to my death at fake job interviews for online scab writing tools.

so can we just improvise a stunt movie then with no writers??

all improvised... no writers. no scabs?

Jeez I am talking to myself now.

what, do I smell?

Whoa. Someone finally uploaded Arcade Attack (1982)

(not 1980 as I submitted to totalfark)

I remember crying that they never showed the full 25minute version... it did exist. Does anyone have a copy still I wonder?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNSnsccG0T4

welcome to anonymous showbiz forum

i'm your host

Mr.couldn't-kiss-ass-to-save-his-life,

I sleep now.

goodbye old media.

what u say??

I went to an advanced screening of Juno on Monday and got a free t-shirt. Excellent movie, too. Ellen Page has some funny moments, but J.K. Simmons is hilarious. Also, I want to ram my beef log so deep into Ellen Page's flesh lettuce that she can't walk for a week.

Hot Fuzz was easily one of the better movies I have seen this year and it is light years better than Shaun of the Dead which in itself was an incredibly overrated movie.

Super Fuzz? That movie rocks.

There's a man do you see
and he looks just like you and me
didnt you know everything he got don't show

There's a cop do you see
and he looks like every cop on the street
you will discover you can't judge this cop by his cover

He's a super snooper really super trooper
a wonder cop a one like you never saw
he's a super snooper, really super trooper
a wonder cop a roller the side of the law

There's a stir on the floor
super snooper open the door
didnt you know everything he got dont show

He's a super snooper really super trooper
a wonder cop a one like you never saw
he's a super snooper really super trooper

Instrumental

Super Snooper
Super Super Super!!

Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 12
Tim "the Toolman" Taylor or whatever his name is.

He just seems like a really unpleasant person and standup comedians suck.

*grunts*

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 12
Tim "the Toolman" Taylor or whatever his name is.

He just seems like a really unpleasant person and standup comedians suck.

*grunts*

I watched "Galaxy Quest" the other day. I enjoy the meta-humor in that he plays a washed-up actor in that movie.

Heamer: I watched "Galaxy Quest" the other day. I enjoy the meta-humor in that he plays a washed-up actor in that movie.

Yeah, that's about all I can stomach him in but I still don't want to be stuck in an elevator with him.

Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 11

Ted Nugent or Gary Busey

Any of those really Type A types who aren't really celebrities would get annoying because you know they would get annoyed that you know that their main claim to fame really is shooting a flaming arrow into a guitar or being a really big asshole to his ex-wife.

You're just scared, and as we all know, fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real.

Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves, and, ironically, neither am I.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Ted Nugent or Gary Busey

Also, Gary Busey is a "Promise Keeper".

Oh, crap. I just posted as Ross.

indefensible: Oh, crap. I just posted as Ross.

"Do you use your left hand or your right hand for that?"
-Gordie, Stand By Me (1986)

Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 10

Angelina Jolie

She's one of those actresses whom you can't seem to escape hearing about her offscreen exploits and douchebags prattle on and on about how she's so crazy and so hot. She also seems to be on every woman's dyke out list.

She's a terrible actress whose fame comes from being a laughable joke.

I look at her ugly lips and, to quote David Cross, all I see is a puckered anus with shiat spewing out of it.

yeah right we know she has a restraining order against you...

I'd raid her tomb.

Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 10

The cast of Parker Lewis can't lose

because that show kind of sucked and only Kubiak went on to some ill-defined role on a medical show. I bet the kid who played Jerry would stand there with his trenchcoat on getting more and more pissed off because you didn't recognize that you are on the elevator with Jerry from Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

ok you annoying bastard I'm putting you on my ignore list...

oh noes wait I don't have $5!!

have you ever noticed its entirely impossible to avoid boogers in an elevator?

OMG JIM VARNEY IS DED???

He's been dead, Vern.

I just finished turning off Return to the House on Haunted Hill and seriously how do you fark up a horror movie set in a cursed sanitarium? I've gone Urbexing at the Bibary up on Cottman Ave and scared myself shiatless without the benefit of a budget of several million dollars for CGI.

That was as hamfisted as Blue Velvet, which I also hated.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Angelina Jolie

You know how really suburban types try to flaunt their "exotic" palate by claiming to love sushi? That's the gastronomic equivalent of chicks saying they would switch teams for Angelina.

Me, I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit that I am way too lazy to be a lesbian. Why should I operate your equipment for you? Here's a pack of AAs. Have at it.

lol wut?

hmmn while I'm at it, DEAR SANTA:

or if not available:

Sockmonkeyholocaust's 12 days of annoying celebrities from the 90s I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with

Day 9
Eddie Vedder

Day 8
Kurt Cobain

For obvious reasons- I am not looking forward to the wave of 90s Nostalgia that is rapidly approaching like a giant cloud of feces released from a pig exrement dumping pond in NC.

In addition, Nirvana is giving the Pixies a run for the money for 'band most likely to inspire bad bands to create watered down retreads' and Pearl Jam was just glam metal wannabes who accidentally latched onto a trend at the beginning.

Incidentally, Weird Al did send-ups of both men on his 1992 album Off the Deep End and his 1999 album Running with Scissors, both of which I have lying around here somewhere.

Smells Like Nirvana
My Baby's in Love with Eddie Vedder

This is just one of 46 inaccuracies in The Hobbit animated movie pointed out by wikipedians (new window)

The Dwarves flee in terror from the Trolls and are picked up one at a time instead of walking blindly into the camp and being ambushed (except for Thorin, who puts up a fight).

anonymous: lol wut?

Why is Angelina dressed like Doogie Howser in Starship Troopers?

I think what they are trying to say is that the Nazis were just misunderstood, and that if they had poured women into SS uniforms that we would have all let the holocaust slide and just boned down in the lebensraum.

I think that's an indefensible position, but what do you expect from Hollywood? A bunch of self-hating Jews in that town, you mark my words.

Just when you thought the Fantasy genre couldn't get any more ridiculous.

shiatty 80s Cartoon by an independent studio, Thundar the Barbarian, (new window) has better animation than the Paramount backed Dragonlance movie (new window)

indefensible: Why is Angelina dressed like Doogie Howser in Starship Troopers?

It's stylized but she's a shiatty actor so I guess you could say the real Holocaust was the time and effort they put in to make the movie, which incidentally was created almost entirely in front of a blue screen.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: It's stylized but she's a shiatty actor so I guess you could say the real Holocaust was the time and effort they put in to make the movie, which incidentally was created almost entirely in front of a blue screen.

You know, I actually liked that film but I think it's because I want to see London destroyed by killer robots who owe their allegiance to Laurence Olivier. Don't listen to me though: I loved Starship Troopers, or as I call it Melrose Place in Outer Space.

indefensible: I loved Starship Troopers, or as I call it Melrose Place in Outer Space

I loved it too, not only for the exciting melodrama, but also because I could totally see our government stripping down the military to the fighting force equivalent of the Vietcong in hockey helmets.

Don't forget Jake Busey's utterly hilarious death scene.

Heamer: Don't forget Jake Busey's utterly hilarious death scene.

And the guy from Melrose who gets his brain sucked out. That was HOT.

The vagina-like openings on the brain bug just goes to show that Hollywood is obsessed with beauty and that anything outside of its accepted norm (like an intelligent woman that is not just a series of openings for pleasuring the hero) has to be villianized.

I loved the ending, though.

"It's afraid of us."

"HOORAY! FEAR!"

And in retrospect, Jolie is more dressed in line with the current trend of Shakespearean directors to portray the tragedies/histories as having taken place in a fascist alternative world where everybody looks like they are going to a KMFDM concert.

I was briefly enthralled with King Lear and totally jumped at the chance to see it when the Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival produced it only to see Director Karmen Khahn's "vision" of more of the same leather fetish costuming that was considered groundbreaking in the mid-90s in New York. Haven't been back since because I didn't want to have to go and see a production of Shakespeare that takes place in a loft in SoHo in 1968 that is some sort of misguided attempt to prove that Shakespeare was really commenting on the Vietnam war.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: "It's afraid of us."

"HOORAY! FEAR!"

That is one of my favourite moments of all film.

Chronicles of Riddick is Krull for a new generation down to the ridiculous outfits worn by the evil soldiers

indefensible: That is one of my favourite moments of all film.

Crap, that's why I remember it. You told me that before.

On a related note, I love the idea of service equals citizenship like the Romans had and I think we should enact that for America.

Back to back Scarface and Chronicles of Riddick. I don't think I can take any more macho chest beating, mangled English and sweaty dudes penetrating other sweaty dudes with phalluses.