That's going to rock my unclef*cking socks off.

I want to sex him up.

I used to be in *NSYNC, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies...

Color me impressed?

I don't see Keanu Reeves.

Yay Me.

Boo you!

BOOYAH!!! BEAARTHURNINJAPIRATESALLYOURBASE

This is the best forum Fark has ever had.

Transformers was the greatest movie ever. It was perfect. I nominate it as the official movie of this forum and all films will be held up against it and we will display pleasure or dismay at a film's inability to measure up to the Transformer standard with a thumb pointed down in disgust or high in the sky like a torch beaconing to all.

Also, anyone claiming their childhood was raped by a film will be sacrificed to the vengeful spirit of David O. Selznick and Irving Thalberg to ensure good seasonal box offices. We can make a festival about it for the kiddies.

*transforms into a breakdancing jive talking black robot*

SockMonkeyHolocaust: *transforms into a breakdancing jive talking black robot*

THE MOAR YOU KNOW:

Jazz was voiced by Darius McCrary, better known as Eddie Winslow from Family Matters. I can only hope that the sequel will feature 'Tardotron, voiced by Shawn Harrison.

olapbill: umm. since he's always doing the robot, isn't he a little played before he even begins.

No man, that just makes him doing the robot like times 11. You know, like when you're drunk and you say, "I am going to launch a plan off an air craft carrier" and then you realize that you don't own an aircraft carrier and you don't know how to fly a plane? Well, Jazz owns his own aircraft carrier that's how far ahead of you he is.

Wait, change all that to past tense because apparently he's dead but Megatron will be coming back.

Wouldn't it be funny if it turned out this super-evolved race of robots still believed in segregation? Like Jazz died because they ran out of black robot bandages and, well, a white robot might get hurt and they don't want to chance it.

Heamer: Jazz was voiced by Darius McCrary, better known as Eddie Winslow from Family Matters. I can only hope that the sequel will feature 'Tardotron, voiced by Shawn Harrison.

I guess they were saving Reginald VelJohnson for when they introduce Prowl. You know, so they have another black robot to kill off.

oddballgeek: If I haven't seen Transformers, am I still welcome here?

Yes, as long as you understand that robots farking shiat up for two hours completely unhampered by plot and only the occasion speech about duty is not just a good idea- it's the law.

oddballgeek: I am completely in favor of robots farking shiat up.

You're not allowed on my Nebuchadnezzar.

Heamer: You're not allowed on my Nebuchadnezzar.

NOT TODAY MOTHERfarkER (new window)

In showbiz news: I saw Superbad earlier tonight.

Two words: EPIC LOL

How much more awesome would the ending of Lord of the Rings have been if the dwarf had said, "Now, let's go kick some orc!" and that blur song where that goes "WOOHOO! DO YOU LIK EHEAVY METAL?" played over the closing credits?

I would've settled for Liv Tyler's boobs, but that would've been pretty cool, too.

Ugh, Liv Tyler ruins everything she touches. She can't even scream right. Watch 'That Thing You Do' and watch her try to scream. She can't. She's terrible.

She's part of my "Trilogy of Three" that stop me from seeing a movie like an invisible, impenetrable shield or the successful overthrow of the Cuban government... her, Claire Danes and Drew Barrymore turn everything they touch into a suckfest with their terrible acting and tiny boobs that are smaller than their heads.

I have begun a letter to Peter Jackson to try to have her excised from the movies and will be including it with a longer letter I have been writing entitled "567 grievous misdeedes Peter Jackson must correct in the next release of the LOTR trilogy" and each one is based on deviations from the books that were important to the storyline that were not included.

I hate Nikki Six for being such a farking tool and getting more pussy than I'll ever be able to get.

SockMonkeyHolocaust: I hate Nikki Six for being such a farking tool and getting more pussy than I'll ever be able to get.

You left off an "x" in your fit of lonely, slightly overweight jealousy.

Heamer: You left off an "x" in your fit of lonely, slightly overweight jealousy.

He is still a tool. I think that it's the hair combined with the soul patch and being a member of Motley Crue, a group of manchildren that other man children look up to.

I can't tell if this is supposed to be a children's show in the sense that it's a children's show for children or a children's show for adults.

Lazy Town's "You Are A Pirate" (new window)

The German version is filled with menace. (new window)

Are they talking about raiding the Spanish Main or taking back the Danzig corridor with a lusty shout and zerg rush set to a techno beat?

Ah, Lazy Town. I've been subject to this bizarre show on more than one occasion, having babysat some younger cousins in the past. I'm certain that it's geared towards children, if only for the sake of wacky colors, infectiously repetitive songs, and the display of Julianna Rose Mauriello in provocative spandex costumes.

Exhibit A: Try not to get this stuck in your head.

And then try not to imagine the pink-haired girl doing naked cartwheels through your living room.

I didn't know that there was an epidemic where people were giving rein to their anarchistic side and rebelling against the tyranny of the cake recipe.

Maybe that was a preventative measure. Maybe the people of Lazytown consider their role in society is to be proactive. Let other kid's shows engage children in frank discussions of the pedestrian topics of strangers and what to do if they get lost because Lazy Town has its own education agenda to fulfill. In the future, no cake will go unbaked without first following instructions.

Heamer: And then try not to imagine the pink-haired girl doing naked cartwheels through your living room.

Considering I was a sophmore in highschool when she was born, I think I'll give her another two years before I start thinking like that.

Interestingly, the producers of the show want to encourage kids to get outside and (generally) experience the world firsthand. To indoctrinate children with this zany ideal, they must (of course) use television.

SockMonkeyHolocaust:Considering I was a sophmore in highschool when she was born, I think I'll give her another two years before I start thinking like that.

That would make you about 10 years older than I am, assuming my math is correct. Ten years older and wiser, I'd suppose. Two years is a fine time to wait, in any event. I guess I'm just too wrapped up in trying to live like Nikki Sixx while I still can.

Sans the ridiculous hair, of course.

I saw Harry Potter and the search for more money last night. Man, those movies are so much better than the books but "The Room of Requirement" is seriously the worst farking literary cop out that I have ever seen.

"Yeah, it only shows up when needed... didn't we mention it? Oh yeah, it's magic.'

Seriously, give me a farking break. I know that people who read the Harry Potter books aren't the most literary discerning people in the world but how can you not revolt at that shiat writing?

Heamer: That would make you about 10 years older than I am, assuming my math is correct. Ten years older and wiser, I'd suppose. Two years is a fine time to wait, in any event. I guess I'm just too wrapped up in trying to live like Nikki Sixx while I still can.

Sans the ridiculous hair, of course.

Hey man, if there's one thing The Crue has taught the world is that you should never be too old to chase teenage poon BUT there are only certain instances where it is considered acceptable and one of those is being in a rock band.

Teacher- not so much.
Writing songs about "Dr. Feelgood" - you betcha'.

Orson Welle's radio play of Dracula is ruined by the ridiculousness of voice actors of the time. He is brilliant, as usual, but everyone else is just over-the-top cheesey. The carriage driver sounds like a male version of the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz and the count sounds like he learned his Eastern European accent phonetically via mailorder.

oddballgeek: Then again, I'm not 19 with DD boobs and too skinny for a size two so I don't think Nikki Sixx is crying himself to sleep over my rejection of him.

Hey man, don't stop dreaming.

Ok, 300 just got ridiculous.

"See, rumor has it that the Athenians have already turned you down, and if those philosophers and boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve..."

Yeah, historical nitpicking is annoying but c'mon man, who you callin' a "boy lover"

That movie's great. One too many slow-motion scenes, but otherwise, a faithful adaptation of the zany, over-the-top graphic novel.

SMH, it never ceases to amaze me how many people just don't get you sometimes. It's not that hard.

Also, I was watching The View the other day (yeah, shut up), and realized--or rather, was reminded--that Whoopi Goldberg has never had eyebrows. Ever.

Genetic defect, or personal choice? You decide.

Danny Glover was in my hometown a few years ago, allegedly filming a pilot for some new cop-based television drama. That was about three years ago, so clearly, the pilot must've died in a fiery cockpit before the plane ever left the ground. I caught a brief glimpse of him because the place at which they were filming is a really nice Italian restaurant near the water to which I was taking my then-girlfriend for a nice, pre-begging-her-for-sex dinner.