FARK.com: (2993876) "Satan is not an atheist. He would vote 'yes' for alcohol sales in Thomasville because he loves to see people suffer"

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(Some Teatotaller)		"Satan is not an atheist. He would vote 'yes' for alcohol sales in Thomasville because he loves to see people suffer" (thethomasvilletimes.com)		147
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HollandRivers		2007-08-10 10:38:01 PM

Wine, water
blahblahblah

redoctober65		2007-08-10 10:42:20 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of ~~a pool table~~_^^alcohol in your community!

Man On A Mission		2007-08-10 10:45:45 PM

Thomasville is a little over an hour north of Tallahassee, home of Florida State University, a place noted for it's reserve and decorum, where nobody ever gets in trouble with alcohol.

/ FSU grad, Class of '88

thalassatx		2007-08-10 10:52:49 PM

*headdesk*

As a friend of mine said today, Jesus probably spends a lot of time wearing a hat pulled down over his eyes, and saying, "No, I'm not that Jesus."

WhyteRaven74		2007-08-10 11:24:19 PM

WorldCitizen		2007-08-10 11:34:55 PM

Yes, we all know that Jesus turned water into club soda.

PhiloeBedoe		2007-08-10 11:54:06 PM

FTFA: "Satan is not an atheist. He would vote yes for sure because he loves to see people suffer."

My God, Satan is Chris Columbus.

SpiderQueenDemon		2007-08-10 11:56:17 PM

Satan always struck me as more of a cocaine kind of guy...y'know...like the president.

WhyteRaven74		2007-08-11 12:06:51 AM

PhiloeBedoe: Chris Columbus.

hey, I don't think his films are that bad. Oh you mean the other Chris Columbus, right gotcha ;)

Kyosuke		2007-08-11 12:18:07 AM

Satan is a Christian Idol.

tallguywithglasseson		2007-08-11 12:32:25 AM

WWJD? I think he might actually beat this woman mercilessly.

CheddarPants		2007-08-11 12:41:03 AM

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Gunther		2007-08-11 01:35:03 AM

I vaguely remember something from the bible involving Jesus turning water into... what was it again? fruit juice? diet pepsi?

cpux		2007-08-11 01:36:32 AM

Well, I think Jesus wouldn't mind us having some fun, with a side order of personal responsibility.

tallguywithglasseson		2007-08-11 01:37:00 AM

Jesus is my drunken copilot.

JQPublic		2007-08-11 01:37:13 AM

SpiderQueenDemon: Satan always struck me as more of a cocaine kind of guy...y'know...like the president.

Or a rapist...y'know...like the previous president.

Triplikme		2007-08-11 01:41:07 AM

...it means What Would Jesus Do? You can find these letters on t-shirts, caps, hair bands, bracelets, etc.

Shameless merchandising plug for the church.

Buy your piece of Jesus today!

/Despises organized religion

falkensmaze		2007-08-11 01:41:38 AM

Of course Satan/The Devil isn't an atheist. He rebelled against God and was cast out of Heaven. An atheist doesn't believe that God exists, but Satan knows he exists.

Pepul iz stoopid!

MadTheologian		2007-08-11 01:42:09 AM

Of course Ol' Scratch loves to see people suffer! That's why he created bluenosed legalists to piss us off.

/Confessional Lutheran

RunningFool		2007-08-11 01:42:14 AM

Anyone else notice the Vote Yes ad on the right?

Gunther		2007-08-11 01:42:35 AM

JQPublic: Or a rapist...y'know...like the previous president.

...And my estimation of the average farker's IQ drops another couple points.

0Icky0		2007-08-11 01:42:50 AM

How would Jesus vote?

WTF? Read your bible.
Jesus don't need to vote. He's a dictator. Bow to him or be tortured for all eternity.

UrinalPooper		2007-08-11 01:42:55 AM

I know we're not allowed to feed them to lions anymore... but how about crucifying them? Can we go back to doing that?

0Icky0		2007-08-11 01:45:05 AM

Gunther: ...And my estimation of the average farker's IQ drops another couple points.

I'm sure no chick, fat or not, has ever consented to having sex with him. That's why he can't comprehend the idea. In his universe there is either chastity or rape.

ZoeNekros		2007-08-11 01:45:06 AM

Gunther: I vaguely remember something from the bible involving Jesus turning water into... what was it again? fruit juice? diet pepsi?

Diet caffeine-free Pepsi, actually.

jgoode22		2007-08-11 01:45:29 AM

from psalms 104:

14 He makes grass grow for the cattle,
and plants for man to cultivate-
bringing forth food from the earth:

15 wine that gladdens the heart of man,
oil to make his face shine,
and bread that sustains his heart.

XTacyTurbo		2007-08-11 01:46:57 AM

WWJD:
Who Wants Jack Daniels?

Guess we'll find out August 14.

drjekel_mrhyde		2007-08-11 01:47:16 AM

JQPublic: SpiderQueenDemon: Satan always struck me as more of a cocaine kind of guy...y'know...like the president.

Or a rapist...y'know...like the previous president.

or like gay like you know the Ted Haggard

momalboe		2007-08-11 01:49:10 AM

Jesus was my co-pilot.
But then we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

Bgnome		2007-08-11 01:50:54 AM

of course Satan is not an atheist.. for Satan to be an atheist would meen that he doesn't exist!
I don't think these good Christians get it.

if there was only a book, that they could read, and then put it all together with

Noticeably F.A.T.		2007-08-11 01:51:35 AM

ZoeNekros: Gunther: I vaguely remember something from the bible involving Jesus turning water into... what was it again? fruit juice? diet pepsi?

Diet caffeine-free Pepsi, actually.

No, only Satan would create something as inherently evil as Diet caffeine-free Pepsi.

Jatopian		2007-08-11 01:51:44 AM

It's "teetotaler", submittard.

Man On A Mission: Thomasville is a little over an hour north of Tallahassee, home of Florida State University, a place noted for it's ~~reserve and decorum~~ repression and prudishness, where nobody ever gets in trouble with alcohol unless they're smuggling it in.
Fixed.
/trolling

BlueGargoyle		2007-08-11 01:52:06 AM

When the Devil comes to America he will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross. Seriously, if you really think the Devil is real, don't you think he'll be the biggest bible-thumping, fire-and-brimstone, prick you ever saw? You just know that's what he'll be. And famous too- very influential within the church.

Bgnome		2007-08-11 01:52:24 AM

maybe there could be other books that they could read.. and from them,learn contracting viewpoints that they could then gleam and learn from

ecmoRandomNumbers		2007-08-11 01:52:43 AM

In South America there is a saying:

"Mas sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo."

In English (my rough translation):

The Devil is astute because he's old; not because he's the Devil.

Jesus is the same. If Christian mythology is to be believed at all, we have to picture Jeebus and Satan sitting and playing cards, philosophizing and debating the future of the human race. They're both the same person.

Modern "christians" don't seem to understand that Jebus and Satan come from the same creator -- the human psyche. Not god.

JQPublic		2007-08-11 01:55:23 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: JQPublic: SpiderQueenDemon: Satan always struck me as more of a cocaine kind of guy...y'know...like the president.

Or a rapist...y'know...like the previous president.

or like gay like you know the Ted Haggard

Or totally fictitious...y'know...like the Tooth Fairy.

Stinky Wizzleteats		2007-08-11 01:55:48 AM

Damn you, redoctober65, now that song is stuck in my head!

spartacurt		2007-08-11 01:56:16 AM

I've gotta finish this beer, go wake up my wife and child, and beat them. I'm not a bad guy - it's that akahol what done it!!

fanbladesaresharp		2007-08-11 01:56:19 AM

What's a ManBearPig to do on a Saturday when bars are still open on the east coast? Jesus, the Pope, Licifer AND Beezlbub want his money.

Fireproof		2007-08-11 01:56:26 AM

In my hometown when we voted on liquor by the drink (in bars and restaurants) a few years ago, there was one Baptist church who went apeshiat and heavily campaigned publicly for everyone to vote against it. Turned out that it only backfired and just got the "vote yes" people to fight back.

/Another Lutheran
//We probably invented beer
///Don't forget that Jesus gave out wine at the Last Supper and actually told His disciples to "drink of it, all of you..."

fanbladesaresharp		2007-08-11 01:59:46 AM

Fireproof:
///Don't forget that Jesus gave out wine at the Last Supper and actually told His disciples to "drink of it, all of you..."

Ever wonder why we can't allow those on death row to get drunk as shiat an hour before deadline?

stephk		2007-08-11 02:00:50 AM

You can find these letters on t-shirts, caps, hair bands, bracelets, etc. Our young people wear them proudly without shame.

Yeah...I remember wearing those like 10 years ago in middle school- before I came to my senses.

/yay Weeners
//not sure i did the quote thing right

Egoy		2007-08-11 02:00:57 AM

I don't really care. Let people damn themselves they will be left behind when the rapture comes. We were given free will when we were cast out of the garden and if evil people want to take advantage of that free will there is nothing we can do to chage it.

stephk		2007-08-11 02:02:46 AM

/yay Weeners

I suppose my next task is to figure out how to avoid the filters?

/new to this

RunningFool		2007-08-11 02:04:21 AM

Ha! Found her Bio here:

Link (new window)

www.bewilderingstories.com

tallguywithglasseson		2007-08-11 02:04:43 AM

Not amused.

RunningFool		2007-08-11 02:06:20 AM

From the Bio:

She loves to read and write. She also loves to paint folk art. She has had two books published, Swivel Hips, Pitiful, and Ugly Mug, a memoir. Skeletons in His Closet, a book based on her husband's early childhood.

I think that explains a few things...

Falstaff		2007-08-11 02:06:37 AM

ZoeNekros: Diet caffeine-free Pepsi, actually.

He turned water into brown, fizzy water? Somehow that's not overly impressive.

Can 'O' Soup		2007-08-11 02:10:33 AM

Egoy: I don't really care. Let people damn themselves they will be left behind when the rapture comes. We were given free will when we were cast out of the garden and if evil people want to take advantage of that free will there is nothing we can do to chage it.

Except biatch and moan about it. By the way, how is alcohol evil? It's a farking chemical. That Jesus said people should drink. That whole "This is mah ~~bukket~~ blood" thing.

fanbladesaresharp		2007-08-11 02:12:46 AM

RunningFool: Ha! Found her Bio here:

Link (new window)

From your link: Bonnie Joyce Harvell was born on July 24, 1954, in the small south Alabama town of Lamison. She was the youngest of six children. She married at 16 years old, had three children, now has three grandchildren, and is still married to the same man, John Gibson.

She loves to read and write. She also loves to paint folk art. She has had two books published, Swivel Hips, Pitiful, and Ugly Mug, a memoir. Skeletons in His Closet, a book based on her husband's early childhood.

Bonnie also owns and operates a small bookstore in Thomasville, Alabama. She and her husband John live in Thomasville which is only a few miles from where both of them were born.

Venture much? Even Jesus and his disciples got out of town once in a while.

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