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(Psychology Today)   "My husband is grudge-bearing, abusive, angry, a bully, and an alcoholic, but I just can't leave. What's wrong with me?" Psychology Today: "There's nothing wrong with you"   (psychologytoday.com) divider line 275
    More: Asinine  
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17615 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2007 at 8:43 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-08-06 08:45:45 PM
Psychology Today is complete tripe.

There, I've said it.
 
2007-08-06 08:45:50 PM
this seems....... like really bad advice
 
2007-08-06 08:46:01 PM
This is gonna be an AWESOME thread.
 
2007-08-06 08:46:19 PM
Psychologically speaking, it doesn't seem as if there is anything medically wrong with her.

I'm not sure why this received an asinine tag, the advice they gave her seems pretty good.
 
2007-08-06 08:47:30 PM
Have I got a man for her!!!
 
2007-08-06 08:47:39 PM
blogs.salon.com
 
2007-08-06 08:47:42 PM
I love how the immediate response is: "You're a woman, silly! You can divorce him and steal half of his money!"

/Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER getting married for that reason
 
2007-08-06 08:48:07 PM
It really is a shame that "dependent personality disorder" was removed as an APA recognized diagnosis. When mental health (or health in general for that matter) becomes too politicized, the only people who suffer are people with problems.
 
2007-08-06 08:48:20 PM
fark_of_the_covenant 2007-08-06 08:45:45 PM
Psychology is complete tripe.

Corrected for you.
 
2007-08-06 08:48:57 PM
If you read beyond the first sentense, Subby, you'd notice that "there's nothing wrong with you" does not mean "nothing is wrong with this situation, so stick with your abusive marriage."
 
2007-08-06 08:49:03 PM
Psychology today is about a relevant to the field of psychology as Intelligent design is to Science. It's the cosmopolitan of mental health journals.
 
2007-08-06 08:49:21 PM
black_knight

I like how the artist lacks the ability to draw someone well enough that he had to put "I
 
2007-08-06 08:50:06 PM
OnlyM3: Corrected for you.

You're one of those scientologists, aren't you?
 
2007-08-06 08:50:14 PM
I don't think people realize the advice they are giving her is to leave him. Of course they are not going to say "it's your fault for staying with him", that would just make her feel worse.
 
2007-08-06 08:50:26 PM
OnlyM3:

Well played. I salute the end of professional victimhood.
 
2007-08-06 08:50:40 PM
"Have you tried my new therapy. It's called Shut the Fark Up!"

www.smokemag.com
 
2007-08-06 08:51:30 PM
As much as she's miserable living with the guy and taking the abuse, she's afraid she'd be much more miserable if she left.

A sad and unfortunate mental process, but there it is.
 
2007-08-06 08:52:16 PM
I think the the advice giver pretty much did tell her to stfu, stop waiting for the husband to change, explore her options, and get the hell out of there. It just took a lot more words than I think was needed to do so.

Did anyone rtfa?
 
2007-08-06 08:52:47 PM
What was the slut wearing?
 
2007-08-06 08:52:50 PM
OnlyM3: fark_of_the_covenant 2007-08-06 08:45:45 PM
Psychology is complete tripe.
Corrected for you.


fark_of_the_covenant: OnlyM3:

Well played. I salute the end of professional victimhood.


Of course, psychology isn't about victimhood. Most psychology is concerned with figuring out what makes people tick. What you're talking about is Dr. Phil type bullsh*t "psychotherapy." Huge difference between the science behind how people think and the application of that science to real situations by real people who may or may not be any good at what they do.
 
2007-08-06 08:53:03 PM
keytronic: Psychologically speaking, it doesn't seem as if there is anything medically wrong with her.

Medically? Maybe not. Psychologically? Definitely.

Someone that knows the person they're dating is abusive, angry, a bully, alcoholic, etc., etc., but marries and stays with them for 33 years is sick, just like anyone that's physically or mentally abused but keeps staying with the abuser. The fact that her life is basically over, but she still can't leave means she's sick. Anyone coddling her should be considered an enabler.

He's a sick bastard. She's sick for taking it. For 33 years. And having children with him.

They both need help, even though it's sad.
 
2007-08-06 08:53:08 PM
"Wait for the miracle"? This is a disgrace. Christ on a bike, do you call that being helpful?
 
2007-08-06 08:54:06 PM
Sure-fire cure:

i3.photobucket.com

/anyone with me on this'n?
 
2007-08-06 08:54:18 PM
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
What's the best thing about a blow job from an ethiopian woman?

-give the biatch a shovel
-nothing, you already told her twice
-you know she'll swallow

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
 
2007-08-06 08:54:26 PM
Women love assholes.

Yet I'm an asshole that doesn't get many women.

I must have missed some of the asshole memos.
 
2007-08-06 08:54:45 PM
keytronic: Psychologically speaking, it doesn't seem as if there is anything medically wrong with her.

I'm not sure why this received an asinine tag, the advice they gave her seems pretty good.


Ditto.

I think they nailed it.

Maybe most Farkers are just responding to the provocative headline. That'd sure be a first!
 
2007-08-06 08:55:07 PM
Had they left out the first line of the answer, nobody would have any problem with the advice given. She's got self esteem issues, she's overly dependent on jackhole husband and she's scared. Seems like plenty for a shrink to address. Now whether or not that constitutes "something wrong" is the real debate.
 
2007-08-06 08:55:13 PM
Wait, I have to correct something I said earlier. I erroneously said that the age of consent will never go down because of the way people are and such, but that's not entirely true. The national age may not change (which doesn't really matter) but I know of at least one state a few years back that actually lowered their age of consent by a year. Don't ask me how it came about.
 
2007-08-06 08:55:14 PM
Well...sometimes it is smart to disarm someone with a comment like that before you tell them that what they are doing is wrong. The first sentence makes them drop their guard and makes them much more receptive to any advice you are trying to give them. If the first sentence was "You are completely wrong, idiot." it might not have the desired effect of having this person actually read the response and take it to heart.

That being said, these idiotic magazines don't belong in any serious discussion about Psychology, and I don't think they should be dispensing advice.
 
2007-08-06 08:55:32 PM
screechingbitermonkey: Did anyone rtfa?

Has that ever stopped anyone on Fark from just jumping right on in and blasting their opinion grounded on having taken a high school course on whatever topic TFA is talking about and being a sad, bitter individual who no one listens to in the real world?
 
2007-08-06 08:56:43 PM
Smellvin: I love how the immediate response is: "You're a woman, silly! You can divorce him and steal half of his money!"

/Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER getting married for that reason


Enjoy your sad and lonely life
 
2007-08-06 08:57:00 PM
If her husband was doing his job she would've been too scared to write a letter to some advice hack. Who the hell does she think she is? She's just asking for an elbow drop.
 
2007-08-06 08:57:16 PM
Relax, the harder he hits you, the more he loves you.
 
2007-08-06 08:57:25 PM
SardonicAvenger: Women love assholes.

Yet I'm an asshole that doesn't get many women.

I must have missed some of the asshole memos.


Unlaid asshole: "You're FUGLY!"
Laid asshole: "You're pretty, except for your chin"

You just need to mix in some pseudo-nice with the asshole, but don't overdo it.
 
2007-08-06 08:57:48 PM
What's wrong with her? Obviously, she's so unattractive that no other man would ever want to be with her so if she leaves her husband, she'll die alone with a house full of cats.

/how's that feminism working out for you ladies?
 
2007-08-06 08:58:07 PM
screechingbitermonkey: I think the the advice giver pretty much did tell her to stfu, stop waiting for the husband to change, explore her options, and get the hell out of there. It just took a lot more words than I think was needed to do so.

Did anyone rtfa?


I'll agree with the second part of the advice, but the first part was ill-constructed.
 
2007-08-06 08:58:12 PM
Everybody respond to subby's misleading headline. There's no time to RTFA.
 
2007-08-06 08:58:36 PM
Psychology Today is being glib.
 
2007-08-06 08:58:48 PM
peacecorpsonline.org

Signed, Victoria Reggie Kennedy
 
2007-08-06 08:59:12 PM
Wait, I have to correct something I said earlier. I erroneously said that the age of consent will never go down because of the way people are and such, but that's not entirely true. The national age may not change (which doesn't really matter) but I know of at least one state a few years back that actually lowered their age of consent by a year. Don't ask me how it came about.

Wow, I could've sworn I was in a different thread. No idea how I did that. Disregard.
 
2007-08-06 08:59:32 PM
It has to suck being 57 years old with no escape. I had to laugh at the advice to 'try to build a resume'. Nobody hires 57 year old people if they offer health insurance.
That lady is farked.
 
2007-08-06 08:59:47 PM
instead of writing to psychology today she ought to schedule an appointment with this guy.

msnbcmedia.msn.com

/stop it or ill bury you in a box!
 
2007-08-06 09:00:26 PM
"My husband is grudge-bearing, abusive, angry, a bully, and an alcoholic, but I just can't leave. What's wrong with me?" Psychology Today: "There's nothing wrong with you There's nothing wrong with you but your husband is a fark"

FTFY.

As someone who hopes to one day be a psychiatrist I can tell you right now Psychology is not neccasarily junk science. I've been looking at the colleges so I know this. To be classified a psychologist you have to take two years of the class. You can't make any real money in a private practice without another 4-6 years or so but you can get a billion dollar career pretending to be an expert for FOX news right away.

Of course there's always the occasional idiot who went the whole 9 yards with the education and still talks crap, but if you look at your job and say you can't find a smuck somewhere in the industry and I'd reccomend you to a psychologist for treatment.

/Disclaimer: they still aren't as good as psychiatrists
 
2007-08-06 09:00:45 PM
i may be abusive and an alcoholic, but i beat you b/c i love you baby.

now stop arguing with me before my love gives you another black eye
 
2007-08-06 09:01:11 PM
mediaho: Psychology Today is being glib.

msnbcmedia4.msn.com

"huh?"
 
2007-08-06 09:01:20 PM
If you remain in a relationship for fear that you won't be able to do any better, expect to be abused.
 
2007-08-06 09:01:30 PM
I know of somebody like this lady in question. Every couple weeks she goes on about how horrible her husband treats her, and without fail the sympathetic crowds shower her thrusting her in the middle of the spotlight. She has been given a billion and one opportunities to get out and leave, but seemingly refuses and regresses back to "oh, I'm the victim, please feel sorry for me!" Guess what, there is a new person who feels sorry for her opening up another packet of sympathy and tea.

Of course when giving a reason why she just can't leave, it's always, "well, we have our good times and he is a good guy, and I just know one day things will change because this... that..."

What I am saying is having dealt and whittle about with such a person this pop psychology 'zine is dealing with, I understand where this reply is coming from.

Playing the victim just gets old and very annoying.
 
2007-08-06 09:01:50 PM
Smellvin: I love how the immediate response is: "You're a woman, silly! You can divorce him and steal half of his money!"

Marriage is a partnership. If the partnership dissolves, the assets get split up. If you don't like that prospect, then you shouldn't get married. But there are plenty of women who bring more to the partnership than men.
 
2007-08-06 09:02:08 PM
Sounds like par for the course to me.

/why do women hate me!?
 
2007-08-06 09:02:31 PM
Wolfinstl: Signed, Victoria Reggie Kennedy

lol!
 
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