Tomorrow's the big demo and you're still at FARK.

You keep checking the voting results of this thread.

In everyday live you start saying fark instead of fvck.

You can't get a chubby, unless there's monitor-glow on your face.

You can't get a chubby, unless there's monitor-glow on your face.

(with voting)

If your cats are named after vintage video game characters (Palom and Porom).

If the planned names for children are RPG-character names.

If you first knew of your future husband's existance because you visited his Final Fantasy web page in 1996.

... it's fun to lead a pathetic existance, sometimes... :D

If you say "...and hilarity ensued" after every anecdote you tell your friends. And they know what you're talking about.

if you have phat html skills.

pandaporn that last post was for you

If you use the phrase "bucket of pelicans" in everyday speech, because it shouldn't have been left to die, dammit!

You have had more computers then girlfriends.

You get noostalgic when people mention Commodore64 or Amiga.

You use random computer parts as paper weights.

You get irate at sloppy computer internal wiring.

Your wish list contains items like: unlimited bandwidth and a personnal T1.

You buy a new Hard Drive to accomodate your pr0n and MP3's.

You see a hot chick and think things like: "I'd like to plug her USB ports."

You have had wet dreams that involve hardware.

You actually have a special calendar with software release dates penciled in.

The only time you hit anyone it was over a PC/Mac argument

Ripped off from my favourite joke along these lines ...

- You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different organizations.
- Your resume is in a diskette in your pocket.
- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
- You learn about your layoff on the news.
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the developing countries' gross national products combined.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work.
- Communication is something your section is having problems with.
- You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
- Being sick is defined as "can't walk" or "in the hospital."
- You're already late on the work task you just got.
- You work 200 hours for a $100 bonus check.
- "Vacation" is something you roll over to next year, or a check you get every January.
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "working with computers".
- Your business cards are no longer correct just a month after you receive them.
- You have every "Cup-A-Soup" brand known to man in your desk drawer.
- You have no hobbies that do not involve an electronic device.
- During any outside-of-work event that vaguely resembles a social activity, your co-workers outnumber your family members.
- You must fill in your own job performance evaluations and target goals because no one else really knows what you do anyway. Besides, the Human
Resources Department was outsourced last month.

You read this entire list and understood it.

Your diet consists mainly of caffiene and twinkies.

Your never turn off your computer(s).

Your online time on AIM is always higher than anyone else on your list.

When someone brings up that all your base crap, you respond with "thats so farking old, dude".

You laugh every time you read:
"All your base are belong to us"

...and you know where it comes from.

-You constantly talk about being 'old school' and having a tandy and/or 8 inch floppy drive as if its something to be proud of

-You really enjoyed Quebert

-You've solved Ninja Guidan multiple times since 1996

-You've actually played that "All your base are belong to us game" and you've informed everyone of that fact

Oh and definately if you've met more of your 'significant others' online than you have in real life :)

Now with voting action!

10. You met your husband online.

Not that *I* did. Really.-fact

You read Cipster's post and thought "Why do people harp on about that C64 piece of crap?! Real programmers started on ZX Spectrums!"

You've had long arguments in the pub defending colour clash, because overall it was a better machine.

You laughed knowingly at my last post.

You always have a box of tissues within reach of the computer ready for those "emergencies".

You've had a meaningful conversation with an IRC bot.

You always have more than 1 monitor attached to a signle machine.

(continuing the theme) You know what "left right left right up down up down b a b a select start" does and have ridiculed someone for not knowing

You are annoyed at people who enjoy the Simpsons not for its insightful social commentary and subtle, witty cynicism, but because they just think Homer Simpson is funny.

Your girlfriend insists she's not cheating on you; not because she isn't dating other men, but rather not dating you. The court agrees.

Llarken spent 7 years in one that started online and will probably marry this one (also started online).

Best way to meet ppl and find out what they are really like ever invented imho.

2) Sub 5k Fark number.

you dont have a picture of yourself thats less than 5 years old. then when someone asks you for a picture you have to buy a disposable camera and end up taking 27 pictures of yourself just to increase the odds that one of them will be decent, then the guy at the photo place gives you a look like he thinks your some sort of narcissistic weirdo or something when you get the pictures developed.


(atleast i have a picture for my profile now)

*sniff* and I thought it was a good do-dah... even if there were eleven in their list (I can't believe no-one's moaned about that yet! ;) )

Tadlette: I only met my husband once before 'remeeting' him online. We chatted for 6 months before physically meeting again.

We're married now and have a child together.

you correct someone else's monty python quote

Your computer's hard drive and desktop are kept meticulously clean, but the room that its kept in is a complete mess.

Sub 10k Fark number... :P

People ask you where to find stuff instead of Google.

1) You've clicked on a thread that you've posted in half an hour earlier only to get pissed off that all subsequent posts are not about how amazing/profound/hilarious your post was.

2) You've actually had a real life arguement that the Baroness was hotter than Scarlett from GI Joe.

3) When you have a problem with your computer at work you can actually understand what the Tech guys are talking about, instead of just nodding your head and hoping that the problem never shows up again.

4) You've bragged about finishing Civilization II in one sitting.

5) Even though you're a Jacksonville Jaguars fan, you're happy when Fred Taylor goes down with a season ending injury because you have Stacy Mack on your fantasy football roster.

6) You've been involved in a flame war that's put you in a bad mood in real life.

7) You don't need to use trial and error to spell out BOOBIES upside-down on your calculator.

8) You've been in an elastic band war at work and then trash-talked about it during a coffee break.

9) You currently have the theme from the A-Team playing on WinMX.

10) It's 3 AM and you've just spent over 15 minutes typing out a top ten list on Fark.

after living with you for a year, your previously computer illiterate girlfriend knows more than the techs at the local computer store.

You argue about what threshold of Fark account number makes you more of a geek.

Sorry :o)

You are a member of WWW.MajorGeeks.com

You just spent your friday night installing XP and you never had so much fun

*sheepish grin*

You angrily point out that the "Internet" and the "World Wide Web" are not one and the same to anyone who makes that fatal error.

you vote for Sven_Burger's "you can win the voting in this survey with your own examples." in the hopes that he does, in fact, win with his own example.

You rewire your house with a new circuit to cope with the new 10amp rackmount servers you just managed to cadge out of work. You spend $100 paying three beefy types to move it because it too heavy for you and your strongest male relatives. Then you realise you also need to upgrade the airconditioning and reinforce the floor under the cabinet.

ie your 'free' server just cost you $6,000 in associated costs and you still consider it a bargain. Every home needs dual redundant fibre storage for the fileserver, right ?

You remember the 'good old days' when there was no such thing as www :)

- you manage to wheedle an O line from your uni admin, and the first thing you do is write a script that squits every server on undernet.

- you read that and know what it meant :)

You get a warm glow after defragging someone elses machine.

When you refer to any mistake made as a "Fatal Exception"


When someone, who is ill, tells you they caught a virus and you think Nimda, SirCam, and wonder what kind of porn they were looking at.


When you are qualified to work for the best IT company, known as "Geek Squad" --> www.geeksquad.com --> (shameless plug for former company)

am I too late to get in on this one?

1> Your best friend is the Fed Ex guy
(yeah, happened. I worked from home that year)
2> you look *closely* at computers in sales magazines to see if they pasted a windows screenshot on a mac or a mac screenshot on a pc
(guilty)
3> you giggle uncontrollably when you see #2
(not yet)
4> when dating you marry the woman who can install her own OS and handy with a chip-puller
(5 years now)
5> just to go to work you have your laptop, cellphone, pager, palm pilot in tow
(damn, that's heavy)
6> your argue fine points of kernel memory management over the internet with guys from India
(ouch. that cuts close)
7> your come-on line is "i've used my same screen name for 10 years now"
(giles1101, yep.)
8> you're not happy until you have more computers than cats
(6 computers, 2 cats)
9> you refer to outside as "the big blue room with the burning ball in it"
(I work nights.. sheesh!)
10> smilies mean something to you ;)

Oh, gawd.... I'm a geek.

Follow on from Tadlette's: When you see a gopher, it makes you all nostalgic.

Pure speculation, this one. I live in England. We have no gophers. Rats on the Underground just don't have the same attraction...

Hiroyuki Goto, 21, the current world record holder for the most digits of Pi memorized, required over nine hours to recite 42000+ digits [Seattle Times, 2-26-95].

-this man is a geek (and no doubt related to the protagonist japanese mining family in the best book ever written....CRYPTONOMICRON)

You realize you're trying to win a pointless contest with lame comments on a website...

And you just won't stop!