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(Local10 WPLG)   10 drinks men should never order   (local10.com) divider line 862
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71588 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2007 at 9:11 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-08-03 07:48:25 AM
I'm a girlie-drink drunk myself.
 
2007-08-03 08:01:59 AM
It would be a shorter list if it was drinks men should only order:

Martinis (Cold Gin or Vodka with some vermouth and a twist - none of this biatch drink in a martini glass being called a martini shiat)
Scotch
Beer
 
2007-08-03 08:13:00 AM
Whisky/Scotch On The Rocks

Sometimes drinkers of certain beverages have specific looks, Jacobson said. "Your typical whisky or scotch drinker is someone who may have more than a few drinks a week," said Jacobson. "Appearance-wise, they are usually someone with facial scruff and often a bit heavier."


Eerie. It's like this guy's been following me around.
 
2007-08-03 08:31:55 AM
lilplatinum
none of this biatch drink in a martini glass being called a martini shiat

Exacto. If it ends with "-tini" and doesn't start with "Mar-", you are a chick. I'll go one further and include any sort of flavored vodaks. A "martini" is made with a base of plain GIN. A "vodak martini" is made with vodak.
 
2007-08-03 08:36:40 AM
This is what happens when a columnist is browsing iStockPhoto instead of working when his deadline is coming up.
 
2007-08-03 08:38:09 AM
Unless you're The Dude and then you can order a white Russian.
 
2007-08-03 08:39:04 AM
NikolaiFarkoff: A "vodak martini" is made with vodak.

I've never tried "vodak". Is is as good as vodka?
 
2007-08-03 08:39:56 AM
I cut my zinfandel with sprite. is that too girlie?
 
2007-08-03 08:40:05 AM
Mugato
Unless you're The Dude and then you can order a white Russian.

Not long after that came out, my friends and I started making those. Figured the movie gave us a free pass (gotta call it a "Caucasian," though)
 
2007-08-03 08:40:24 AM
Should be named "Ten things Flash programmers should never do."

/already drunk.
 
2007-08-03 08:40:49 AM
Meh. Maybe I'm just a heavy drinker, but I like trying new stuff. I get bored easily with drinks. As long as its not too sugary, I'll try it. The nastier tasting to the average person, the better I seem to like it.

Black Sambuca
Chartreuse
Campari on the rocks
Herbsaint & Sweet Vermouth

...tasty stuff.

And I'm a man.
 
2007-08-03 08:45:29 AM
ArbitraryConstant: This is what happens when a columnist is browsing iStockPhoto instead of working when his deadline is coming up.

Hate the game not the player, sir


I love this list because of the fact that they include malt-based beverages, but only those that come in a bottle smaller than 40-oz.

(in Florida, we can't buy forties, we have to made do with 32s)
 
2007-08-03 08:45:49 AM
downstairs:

And I'm a man.


No you're not.
 
2007-08-03 08:46:17 AM
NikolaiFarkoff: I'll go one further and include any sort of flavored vodaks. A "martini" is made with a base of plain GIN. A "vodak martini" is made with vodak.

Gin is really just juniper flavored vodka (with other random stuff too)
 
2007-08-03 08:47:03 AM
Wait no fark this list



"Any kind of alcohol, besides scotch, ordered 'neat.' It could suggest you're a frequent drinker."


Maybe I *am* a frequent drinker, what the fark
 
2007-08-03 08:58:17 AM
The last slide - beer served in a glass rootbeer mug - is hideous.

Order a pint glass, you complete priss.
 
2007-08-03 09:01:16 AM
"Manhattan
Ah, the flavor of bourbon intermingling with vermouth, bitters and cherry. Some suggest it's the next big drink, soon to be hugely popular among the trendy set.

"Right now, the only people I see ordering Manhattans are older men with gray hair and glasses," said Jacobson. "But that doesn't mean that won't change.""


Oh good. I'm about to be cool again.

September-March = Manhattan season
April-August = Martini season
 
2007-08-03 09:09:54 AM
The frozen, no-salt rita I order at my favorite tex-mex joint has both a lime garnish and a straw and is incredibly delicious.

I have therefore come to the conclusion that this list sucks.
 
2007-08-03 09:14:21 AM
lilplatinum: Cold Gin

Great song.

/the cheapest stuff is all I need
/to get me back on my feet again
 
2007-08-03 09:15:32 AM
How about a pink lady?
 
2007-08-03 09:15:50 AM
DarthBrooks: The last slide - beer served in a glass rootbeer mug - is hideous.

Order a pint glass, you complete priss.


Drink it from a can, you complete snob.

/I keed, I keed
 
2007-08-03 09:16:13 AM
Just give me a god damn beer and shot of vodka, tequila or bourbon.
 
2007-08-03 09:16:26 AM
Is Zima still cool?
 
2007-08-03 09:16:42 AM
I can't believe how many people in this thread do not know the correct spelling of vodak.
 
2007-08-03 09:17:41 AM
To hell with them. I didn't even read the article. Anyone who takes direction from lists of things "men" should never do is not a man.
 
2007-08-03 09:17:50 AM
This exact article is a repeat from a few weeks ago.
 
2007-08-03 09:17:55 AM
TheGrayCat: NikolaiFarkoff: A "vodak martini" is made with vodak.

I've never tried "vodak". Is is as good as vodka?


Welcome to Fark cliche #183,837.
 
2007-08-03 09:18:00 AM
Fark Me Runnin

I have a Kodka camera, let me take you picture and submit it to, 'Hot or Not'
 
2007-08-03 09:18:12 AM
I drink beer and eat the cans. Real men let nothing go to waste!
 
2007-08-03 09:18:12 AM
MrCheeks: Is Zima still cool?

Your language implies that it once was.
 
2007-08-03 09:18:23 AM
For those who's work computers don't have an updated version of Flash, what shouldn't I be ordering tonight?
 
2007-08-03 09:18:26 AM
I drank shots of Tequila one time and had fantastic sex with my girlfriend.
I can't go back to that bar anymore.
 
2007-08-03 09:18:32 AM
Meh. I like Mojitos in the summer time, as a balance to G&T. Beer, scotch, small batch bourbons, Finlandia or Pearl vodka ... God, I could use a drink now.
 
2007-08-03 09:18:57 AM
Cerebral Ballsy

I thought this was a repeat but I stay drunk of beer and shots so...a lot of shiat is hazy to me
 
2007-08-03 09:20:01 AM
Cheap beer (Coors light) and cheap liquor (Aristocrat)
 
2007-08-03 09:20:17 AM
anybody notice the "anything served neat" slide had a picture of some scotch-looking beverage with a farkload of ice cubes in it?
 
2007-08-03 09:20:27 AM
Personally I give a damn what people drink. Drink what you like, don't be a poseur.
 
2007-08-03 09:20:34 AM
my insides just quiver with passion when a man orders a Purple Hooter Shooter.
 
2007-08-03 09:20:36 AM
This god damn thread is making my mouth water, does that suggest I may have a problem?
 
2007-08-03 09:20:44 AM
Incidentally, you can make your own top-shelf vodak in 3 easy steps

1. buy shiatty vodak (Georgi will do)
2. buy Brita filter
3. filter vodak through brita about 8-10 times
4. (optional) infuse vodak with vanilla beans, herbs, peach and let sit in a cool dark place for a week
5. PROFIT!!
 
2007-08-03 09:20:44 AM
In a bar, guys should drink clear or brown drinks.

At dinner, wine is acceptable.

Fruity drinks, only in outdoor settings.
 
2007-08-03 09:20:46 AM
I'm mostly a beer drinker myself, but anything mixed with crown, capt, jack and jager should be acceptable for a guy to drink.
 
2007-08-03 09:20:59 AM
TheGrayCat: I've never tried "vodak". Is is as good as vodka?

much better for having come through the internet tubes.
 
2007-08-03 09:21:00 AM
mynameistim: anybody notice the "anything served neat" slide had a picture of some scotch-looking beverage with a farkload of ice cubes in it?

That would be wrong, they should not have done that.
 
2007-08-03 09:21:41 AM
prettyhelmet

I can't help but looks at some guy at the bar drinking a Bartles and James and be like, he has teh ghey
 
2007-08-03 09:21:48 AM
If I order a mixed-drink, it's usually a long island. They taste good and they get the job done fast. If it's straight liquor, than I usually drink scotch. I stay away from beer because it always gives me a bad headache.
 
2007-08-03 09:22:00 AM
Bikinitini.
 
2007-08-03 09:22:03 AM
cap737: I'm mostly a beer drinker myself, but anything mixed with crown, capt, jack and jager should be acceptable for a guy to drink.

fixed it for you
 
2007-08-03 09:22:03 AM
About the "girliest" I go unless I'm on a beach is Jack or Captain and Coke. If I'm on a beach I'll get pina colada or something just cuz.

/yeah I like pina coladas
//and getting caught in the rain
///big deal
////want to fight about it?
 
2007-08-03 09:22:25 AM
Bullshiat. Like Raccoon Dog said, if you need to avoid things to be a "man", you most likely aren't.

slight side-track. has anyone else ever wondered about the odd conflict between the idea that the goal of going out drinking is to get trashed, but the easier you get trashed, the less of a "man" you are?
 
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