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(Local10 WPLG)   10 drinks men should never order   (local10.com) divider line 862
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71591 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2007 at 9:11 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-08-03 11:21:35 AM
Pelagius: "Right now, the only people I see ordering Manhattans are older men with gray hair and glasses," said Jacobson. "But that doesn't mean that won't change.""

Oh good. I'm about to be cool again.


Ditto. I resemble that remark.
 
2007-08-03 11:21:40 AM
The_Sponge: #10, WTF??

Exactly...unless you're getting a single barrel Bourbon that is higher than 80 proof...Then a cube or two of ice to release the goodness...
 
2007-08-03 11:22:26 AM
The only thing American men should drink is American beer, and in some cases of hardship mixed drinks.

If you specifically order some obscure German or European beer, and this certainly includes Guinness, you're a ninny. Everyone on the internet lauds those manly-manly beers because they don't actually drink, or never did until college, and want to look like they know and are accomplished drinkers. Please. Go into a bar in rural Nebraska, and see how many farmers are drinking your yuppie beers.

Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up.
 
2007-08-03 11:23:51 AM
What does strait Vodka tell about someone. None of that Martini Crap. I'm talking no chaser.
 
2007-08-03 11:24:01 AM
OccamsWhiskers: There's nothing manlier than worrying about the impression your beverage makes on those around you.

That's pretty much it for this thread.
 
2007-08-03 11:24:25 AM
www.bumwine.com


/too funny
 
2007-08-03 11:25:22 AM
Anything not paid for by an overpaid, sexist pig woman.

Come on ladies. Stop being such cheapasses and pony up or be blatantly as sexist as you really are.
 
2007-08-03 11:25:23 AM
ATTENTION MEN Best drink to offer to a girl:

1 shot slo gin
1 shot Southern Comfort
fill with OJ
Top with bitters

it called a "Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall"
 
2007-08-03 11:25:23 AM
Don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but this article reminds me of an old Kids in the Hall bit where Dave Foley is a businessman who becomes abjectly addicted to 'girl drinks.' I can't find it on youtube, but it is hilarious. The sketch ends with him in the gutter pouring whiskey into a slushy.
 
2007-08-03 11:26:06 AM
Blueberry Daquiri!
 
2007-08-03 11:27:02 AM
I can afford any beer, but I choose to drink Southpaw because it's cheap, and when I knock one over with my hammer I'm not upset about wasting beer.

There are different beers for different uses. I buy utility beer to get through the week. Doesn't mean I don't know good beer. Just means I'm not a pretentious douchenozzle who thinks he has to have Samuel Smith around the house to impress somebody.
 
2007-08-03 11:27:34 AM
The_Sponge: The only time I ever order a Mai Tai is when I'm at Trader Vic's. If I did that anywhere else it would just come off as goofy. (Except for Hawaii.)

Quote of the Day:

"Mr. Kahn! I'll have a Mai Tai." - Cotton Hill.


Another exception to the "no manly mixed drinks" rule is that you MAY order a Pina Colada if, and only if,:

a) you are at Trader Vics
b) Your hair is *perfect*
 
2007-08-03 11:28:02 AM
evenpar123: The only thing American men should drink is American beer, and in some cases of hardship mixed drinks.

If you specifically order some obscure German or European beer, and this certainly includes Guinness, you're a ninny. Everyone on the internet lauds those manly-manly beers because they don't actually drink, or never did until college, and want to look like they know and are accomplished drinkers. Please. Go into a bar in rural Nebraska, and see how many farmers are drinking your yuppie beers.

Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up.



Because we should live our lives like farmers in rural Nebraska? Guinness drinker steal your girlfriend or something?
 
2007-08-03 11:28:05 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
Gin and.. Scotch?
 
2007-08-03 11:28:10 AM
Find a bartender who knows how to make _real_ Trader Vic or Don the Beachcomber recipes, and have a few mai-tais or white witches, and then come tell me they aren't "real" drinks.

Anything with three ounces of dark rum, and a 151 float on it, plus several types of other liquors (curacao, creme de cacao, amaretto, etc), is a real drink.

Or is a drink that actually tastes like something other than rocket fuel and/or carbonated horse urine somehow "unmanly" these days?
 
2007-08-03 11:28:17 AM
Men should drink whatever they need to drink in order to get drunk enough to act like a man.
 
2007-08-03 11:28:25 AM
God, how I farking HATE webpages that load up a big-assed Shockwave presentation, where a few lines of good old-fashioned simple text would do the job.

evenpar123: I drink American pisswater beer when I can't afford anything better, or I want a cheap buzz. I drink Guinness when I want to actually enjoy the taste of what I'm drinking.
 
2007-08-03 11:28:37 AM
It doesn't matter if it is manly, as long as it gets you drunk.
 
2007-08-03 11:28:49 AM
PeriRies

You got an Old Style I can borrow?
 
2007-08-03 11:30:15 AM
i love me some guiness but lately ive been feeling the bodington or tetley.......its like a delicious alchy milkshake
 
2007-08-03 11:30:18 AM
I heard a comedian say something like this once and it's stuck with me:

"If I get a Jamba Juice or whatever, no one's going to call me a pussy. Now, lets say I add some tequila to it "Oh god man, you're such a pansy biatch, man. You fruity drink fag man. You gay, you like cock bro." WTF?! I had something that wasn't pussy and then I added alcohol to it and all of a sudden I'm gay? What the hell happened there?"


If you let what you drink define who you are, you're more of a biatch than any one drink could possibly make you. Call me a fag if you want, but you can have my vodka-cranberry when you pry it from my cold, dead, drunken hands.
 
2007-08-03 11:31:35 AM
evenpar123, well color me queer then.

/loves Guinness
//doesn't particularly want to sit at a bar next to a guy with shiat on his sleeve.
 
2007-08-03 11:32:23 AM
Zuel
Word brother.

Redneck Martini: Chilled Martini glass with PBR, a fried chicken wing in it and rimmed with Old Bay spice!

Yum!
 
2007-08-03 11:32:29 AM
Me ordering my drink,

"I'd like a very very dirty vodka martini.... like Courtney Love's underpants after a 5 day bender dirty... Oh and 3 olives"

Sadly the times I don't mention ms. love's undergarments are the times I have to flagg the bartender down for more olive juice.
 
2007-08-03 11:32:31 AM
mekkab: Haha! I hear ya man. One of my recently former roommates was my beer bro. We got on a big kick, hitting up all the best places in Charlotte looking for fine brews. We'd have some cool folks stop by, bust out some cheese, crackers, and spreads, proceed to grilling up a storm, and try making the best beer food pairings we could. By the end of the night, we'd all be waxing poetic. Effin' a, it was good times by all. It's amazing what fun a goofy night like that can be. Luckily, my girl is into enjoying a fine brew as well.

On a sad note, one of the best restaurants in town, Providence Bistro which had a bar they called The Abbey, just closed down. They had a great selection of Belgian beers, with about eight on draught. Alas, there aren't many bars that have a great beer menu in Charlotte. We just recently changed our beer laws to allow beer over 6% and up to 15%. The high gravity stuff is just now starting to catch on.
 
2007-08-03 11:33:16 AM
A man's drinking guide:

Drink whatever the hell you feel like drinking. You're a man, and you're going to do your own thing. You don't give a damn about what other people think. Unless you're a pussy.

// Lager and whiskey, for what it's worth
// And if everyone thought it was girly, I would still drink it
 
2007-08-03 11:33:25 AM
evenpar123
Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up.

You want us to man up, and the only beers you list are some that my girlfriend would not drink because they are too light?
 
2007-08-03 11:33:26 AM
img443.imageshack.us

/imageshack adds cloves...
 
2007-08-03 11:33:42 AM
vodak and a glass. that's all you really need.
 
2007-08-03 11:33:49 AM
Real men don't give a good goddamn what anybody thinks, and drink whatever the fark they please.

/guysssssss, somebody might think I'm a sissyyyyyyyyyyy!
 
2007-08-03 11:34:32 AM
The Wisdom Cube: Don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but this article reminds me of an old Kids in the Hall bit where Dave Foley is a businessman who becomes abjectly addicted to 'girl drinks.' I can't find it on youtube, but it is hilarious. The sketch ends with him in the gutter pouring whiskey into a slushy.

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/106285/Kids_in_the_hall_Girl_drink_drunk.htm l
 
2007-08-03 11:34:42 AM
I'll drink just about anything with rum in it especially long islands. But the damn drink better only have enough cola in it to color it not flavor it. I cannot stand farking bar tenders who put to much cola in a long island.

If the farking bar realized rum came from someone other than Bacardi (which is column distilled Vodka, flavored to taste like rum, then "aged" in stainless steel vats with a stopwatch), and bought some real dark rum (Appletons, Goslings, Whalers, etc) they would not NEED to put cola in it.

Course, most bars fill their "top shelf" bottles with any old crap they can find, knowing full well most drinkers don't know the difference between Walker red and Walker blue.
 
2007-08-03 11:35:22 AM
evenpar123
Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up


just because the label says beer doesnt make it a beer
 
2007-08-03 11:35:41 AM
gregory311: You want your cucumber bruised in that Screaming Viking?

\someone's gotta remember this


I'll have a Screaming Viking!

Lightly bruised, please.

\Screaming Vikings all around!
 
2007-08-03 11:35:45 AM
nopokerface: PeriRies

You got an Old Style I can borrow?


I go into the Sketchy Mart on the way home to get my beer every evening after work. The chic invariably asks me if I want a bag.

Anyway, after a few months of the same routine I shake it up a bit.

She says "You want a bag with that?"

I say "No, I'm just going out to drink them in your parking lot, so why would I want a bag?"

She never asked again.
 
2007-08-03 11:36:00 AM
Nasty stuff... basically a bum's wine drink. strong stuff too.

www.bumwine.com
 
2007-08-03 11:36:01 AM
I can't order drinks neat because it suggests I'm a frequent drinker? How, exactly, does that have anything to do with being a man?

I drink most of my drinks neat because ice takes up too much room in the glass. I just leave my vodka and gin in the freezer so it's hella ice cold.

/Frequent drinker
 
2007-08-03 11:37:24 AM
farky fark

There's that vodak stuff again.

Where can I get me some vodak?
 
2007-08-03 11:37:24 AM
Andric: Real men don't give a good goddamn what anybody thinks, and drink whatever the fark they please.

/guysssssss, somebody might think I'm a sissyyyyyyyyyyy!


Hell yeah to that. Drinking something that you think tastes bad just because others say it's manly, isn't manly. It's stupid. Drink what you like and fark what others think.
 
2007-08-03 11:37:40 AM
RockIsDead: Anything not paid for by an overpaid, sexist pig woman.

Come on ladies. Stop being such cheapasses and pony up or be blatantly as sexist as you really are.


Whoa man, your issues make my issues look like non-issues.
 
2007-08-03 11:37:59 AM
It doesn't matter what you drink - just don't drink while sitting in a hot tub with your friends.

/first time I got drunk
//back in June
///everyone was drinking something vodak-based
////the screwdriver threw me over the edge
 
2007-08-03 11:38:36 AM
PeriRies: nopokerface: PeriRies

You got an Old Style I can borrow?

I go into the Sketchy Mart on the way home to get my beer every evening after work. The chic invariably asks me if I want a bag.

Anyway, after a few months of the same routine I shake it up a bit.

She says "You want a bag with that?"

I say "No, I'm just going out to drink them in your parking lot, so why would I want a bag?"

She never asked again.


Well played, now how about that Old Style?
 
2007-08-03 11:38:44 AM
If you have to cover up the taste of alcohol with fruit juice and all that other crap then you don't like the pure taste of the alcohol so why drink at all? That's like seansoning food because the food taste like crap unless you cover it up with spices. Don't eat crap if you don't like the taste of crap either.

Heres the recipe:
2 oz rum
juice of one lime
Simple Syrup equal in quantity to lime juice
1 oz orange curacao
1 oz amaretto
shake over ice, serve with 1/2 the lime floated in the glass, and a sprig of mint.

Make exactly that same drink, but use Bacardi shiat white rum in one, and then use Appleton's VX or some other 18 year dark for the other.

Tell me it's the same drink.

I dare ya.

Rum is rum, right?
 
2007-08-03 11:38:59 AM
evenpar123: Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up.

Those aren't beers. Those are things I piss out of my body after drinking a Clausenthaler or Circus Boy or something that doesn't suck fat donkey wang.
 
2007-08-03 11:39:33 AM
Twigz221: Andric: Real men don't give a good goddamn what anybody thinks, and drink whatever the fark they please.

/guysssssss, somebody might think I'm a sissyyyyyyyyyyy!

Hell yeah to that. Drinking something that you think tastes bad just because others say it's manly, isn't manly. It's stupid. Drink what you like and fark what others think.


Just the kind of comment I expect from a sand in the vagina sissy.
 
2007-08-03 11:40:12 AM
I grew up drinking 40oz High Gravity Hurricanes. After getting use to that and drinking warm cans of natty ice from my backpack in High School I can drink just about anything. Except Everclear straight up, that farked everyone up!
 
2007-08-03 11:40:17 AM
evenpar123
Bud, Natural, Miller, Coors, Keystone. Quit being a girl and man up

Miller sends drag queens to gay bars to advertise their wares. Pwned, biatch.
 
2007-08-03 11:40:23 AM
Oh, and you need the bag for the empties.
 
2007-08-03 11:40:28 AM
Hot Lunch: At the end of a sweaty day at work, nothing beats a bud. Of course, my tastes run a bit different when out on the town, but even "swill" beers have their place.

I agree that "swill" beers have their place. I just don't agree that their place is in mah belly.

If I'm thirsty I drink water. If I want a beer, then by God I have a (real) beer.
 
2007-08-03 11:40:48 AM
Twigz221: Hell yeah to that. Drinking something that you think tastes bad just because others say it's manly, isn't manly. It's stupid. Drink what you like and fark what others think.

You sound like my buddy. He doesn't like booze, really, so when we get into drinking he orders hard ciders and amaretto sours and crap like that. He tries to argue the cider away by saying "it has more alcohol than your beer!" but really when it comes down to it he's just a biatchy biatch biatch man.
 
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