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(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)   'Beaver-Wetter', 'Aikin-Johnson' 'Wacker-Dailey' and more in this cutting-edge expose on when NOT to hyphenate your name (pics)   (cbs13.com) divider line 293
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23748 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2007 at 2:25 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-08-01 02:44:36 PM
Bschott007: Women, If you feel that strongly about your maiden name then stay single. Why the Fark would you hyphenate your name. Pick one name or the other.

Men, WTF are you thinking allowing your wife to hyphenate your name?


Women, WTF are you thinking marrying someone who won't allow you to keep your name because he thinks he owns you?
 
2007-08-01 02:44:45 PM
Felter-Snatch
Adolf Oliver-Nipples
 
2007-08-01 02:45:19 PM
My friend's mom had the last name Dixon-Paine.

/ true story
 
2007-08-01 02:46:07 PM
Dr.Knockboots: Any female with a hyphenated last name is a pretentious coont.

This.

farkII:Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?

You're probably one of those people that wants to name their kid Ander or Tersten or Briant or any other name you think is a cute and unusual spin on an old favorite, but really just confuses the hell out of anyone that reads it and tries to pronounce it.

Newsflash: You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. If you're so into liberation from the the shackles of nuptial name passing, why get married at all? Hyphenated naming is the kind of pick-and-choose chinese food menu mentality that religious morons like to use to justify pre-marital sex. It doesn't hold up there and it doesn't hold up here.
 
2007-08-01 02:46:20 PM
sarcastic664:

Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?

Because if you're getting married you should be willing to make small sacrifices for the other person, like giving up your last name. Keeping your independence like that is just saying "fark you" to the person you supposedly love.

LOL then why can't men take their wives' names instead? Why is that option never there???
 
2007-08-01 02:46:49 PM
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
 
2007-08-01 02:47:17 PM
tortilla burger: I guess it's better to have Wang-Holder than Holder-Wang.

If it happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas.
 
2007-08-01 02:47:40 PM
hahahahahahahaha (pause for breath) hahahahahahahahahahaha!
 
2007-08-01 02:47:44 PM
sarcastic664:
Because if you're getting married you should be willing to make small sacrifices for the other person, like giving up your last name. Keeping your independence like that is just saying "fark you" to the person you supposedly love.


Of course there's a pile of logical reasons that I guess everyone has decided to ignore. Back in the day, when a woman got married she was basically joining her husband's 'clan'. Her last name didn't matter because all the bills came in her husband's name. She just had to know how to roast a turkey.

When career women get married, name changes can be damaging. My aunt married young, took her husband's name, and then became prolific in her field. After the divorce, she kept his name because reverting would only cause confusion.

And I suppose your argument is a horrible double standard, too? Shouldn't men be giving up their name as well? Should the couple brainstorm and come up with an entirely new name, or possibly hyphenate theirs so they both take a part of the other...?
 
2007-08-01 02:47:48 PM
That reminds me...Whatever happened to Howie Feltersnatch?
 
2007-08-01 02:47:59 PM
For those who are complaining about people with hyphenated names, consider Skeffy.
 
2007-08-01 02:48:14 PM
men who "allow" or "let" their wives do things are pretentious coonts
 
2007-08-01 02:50:28 PM
Bschott007: Men, WTF are you thinking allowing your wife to hyphenate your name?

I'm guess that 1) you're not yet old enough to get married, 2) not yet old enough to have a relationship that lasted more than six months, and 3) not yet mature enough to have relationships with women over 18, whatever your actual age may be.

Once you cross those hurdles you may find there are few women worth having that would pay much attention to a dick that feels he must "allow" his partner to do things. There are even fewer educated, self-motivated, attractive, and funny women that would put up with that kind of shiat. But perhaps you'll grow out of it in time...
 
2007-08-01 02:50:35 PM
They missed one...my friend's wedding was in the paper as the "Shorter-Weiner" wedding. Hah. I like Wang-Holder, personally.

By the way, I can appreciate the tradition of taking on your husband's name, and why that's important to guys, etc. but methinks the guys in here crying about a woman who wants to keep her name in some way would be the same ones crying if they had to give their name up. To quote my friend Debbie (pre-marriage) "I've been Debbie Adams my whole life, now I'm suddenly Debbie Weidemann? WTF?" She ended up taking her husband's name even so...but I can understand the reluctance to do so. Your last name is a reflection of your family and your heritage...it's a little odd to say "Ok, done with that now. Sue McMurphy...you are now Sue Lopez. Congrats!"
 
2007-08-01 02:50:58 PM
Hahaha, I went to high school with Brad Holder. Good kid.
 
2007-08-01 02:51:11 PM
img259.imageshack.us

No. You Gowen - Geter.

She looks like Mrs. Ballbreker from 'Porkys'.
 
2007-08-01 02:51:20 PM
Similar to what precioustaters said. If changing your name is a sign of sacrifice for the good of the marriage, then why don't men ever do it?

Just think about having one name your entire life and then all of a sudden it's gone-it's strange and may be a bit difficult.
 
2007-08-01 02:51:48 PM
farkII: Dr.Knockboots: Any female with a hyphenated last name is a pretentious coont.

Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?


No, it's because women who (willingly) hyphenate their last names are pretentious coont's.
 
2007-08-01 02:52:17 PM
Shut_up_and_fark_me: Bschott007: Women, If you feel that strongly about your maiden name then stay single.

Is this a troll?


Check his profile-- he's from Fargo and probably about 15. Either one would explain the attitude.
 
2007-08-01 02:52:26 PM
WCHeadhunter

There was one who was a submitter but when I try to pull the handle it comes up account created 2004 which is different than the Howie Feltersnatch I knew because his account was the same age as mine and I was competing for submissions with him but he didn't know it
 
2007-08-01 02:52:28 PM
Cindia?
 
2007-08-01 02:53:04 PM
precia:
Of course there's a pile of logical reasons that I guess everyone has decided to ignore. Back in the day, when a woman got married she was basically joining her husband's 'clan'. Her last name didn't matter because all the bills came in her husband's name. She just had to know how to roast a turkey.


The archaic male-driven practice of having wives change their names come from centuries of "tradition" where women were chattel simply passed from father to groom for the sake of creating spawnlings. It's old and outdated.

Women everywhere should keep their names. There is absolutely NO reason why you need to change your name after marriage. There should be mutual and equal respect in every partnership.
 
2007-08-01 02:53:07 PM
Heinekin Skywalker

This one?
img515.imageshack.us

/bwahahahaha!
 
2007-08-01 02:53:23 PM
- My name is Marcie.
- Buck Russell.
Marcie Dahlgren-Frost.

Dahlgren is my maiden name.
Frost is my married name.

I'm single again,
but I never bothered to lose the Frost.

- I get compliments on the hyphen.
- I'm sure you would.
 
2007-08-01 02:53:30 PM
Since when did funny forwards become news? I got this via email forever ago...Someone didn't feel like writing today...
 
2007-08-01 02:53:35 PM
sarcastic664: Because if you're getting married you should be willing to make small sacrifices for the other person, like giving up your last name. Keeping your independence like that is just saying "fark you" to the person you supposedly love.

So why don't you take her name? Or don't you love her enough? Hmmm?

/wouldn't want a woman that would give up her identity simply to fit into a silly remnant of our patriarchal past
 
2007-08-01 02:54:36 PM
Hardy-Harr on them, too....local folks. She's attending Shepherd University, also known locally as "more high school". That's like getting a mail order degree off a cereal box.

Oh, and Sarcastic? When men are willing to change their names, then I'll buy your rant...until then, STFU! Unlike my arse, the dirt road goes both ways.
 
2007-08-01 02:55:33 PM
UF-IA wedding?
 
2007-08-01 02:56:39 PM
I knew a girl named "Mary Hugecockgobbler"

Oh wait, her name was "Adams". We just called her hugecockgobbler because she was a slut.

Nevermind.
 
2007-08-01 02:57:42 PM
WCHeadhunter
That reminds me...Whatever happened to Howie Feltersnatch?

He's on vacation with Phillip McCrevise?
 
2007-08-01 02:58:20 PM
Precioustaters:
The archaic male-driven practice of having wives change their names come from centuries of "tradition" where women were chattel simply passed from father to groom for the sake of creating spawnlings. It's old and outdated.

Women everywhere should keep their names. There is absolutely NO reason why you need to change your name after marriage. There should be mutual and equal respect in every partnership.


Sure, okay. I feel that I can represent men in saying we'll get right on that as soon as the word "alimony" is eliminated from the English language in all of its shapes and forms (including inflated child support based on yearly income rather than actual child rearing costs, see: Matt Leinart).
 
2007-08-01 02:59:36 PM
Busch-Rash!!!!!!

/That's all I gotta say.
 
2007-08-01 03:00:35 PM
farkII: Dr.Knockboots: Any female with a hyphenated last name is a pretentious coont.

Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?


Taking your husband's name has nothing to do with having no "sense of self".

Fark it. Never mind. You're probably also the type that keeps separate bank accounts and crap. Yeah, that's a healthy marriage.

MY name. MY money. MY MY MY. That's the problem these days, it's all about MY and not enough about OUR.
 
2007-08-01 03:00:52 PM
I was wondering how long it was gonna take the feminists to cry about how the patriarchy screws them. Not too long eh ?
 
2007-08-01 03:01:30 PM
I'd just like to ask those of you who think hyphenated names are a good idea: have you really thought this through? Have spent significant time thinking about the future of our society if this trend continues?

Allow me to illustrate. For the sake of example I will assume that all the couples from this article have kids with hyphenated names. Then let's say, for example, that little Billy Butts-McCracken grows up to marry little Janie Busch-Rash. Are you honestly telling me it'd be a good idea for them to name their child Robert Busch-Rash-Butts-McCracken? And if Frank Weener-Whipple marries Samantha Wang-Holder, should their daughter be called Bernice Wang-Holder-Weener-Whipple? And if Robert and Bernice should meet one day and fall in love, would Bernice then take the name Wang-Holder-Weener-Whipple-Busch-Rash-Butts-McCracken?

I understand the rationale behind hyphenated names. I really do. There are good reasons for wanting to do it. But is this really a sustainable option? Can this trend continue indefinitely into the future without bringing things to a fairly ridiculous state? I think not. Now of course, it wouldn't be a problem if just the adult hyphenated the name, but the kids kept just the one name. But of course, that's still oppressively patriarchal, and anyway, it's not what is actually happening. People *are* giving kids hyphenated names. I do not see how this can end well.
 
2007-08-01 03:02:31 PM
CheezeAnvil:

Sure, okay. I feel that I can represent men in saying we'll get right on that as soon as the word "alimony" is eliminated from the English language in all of its shapes and forms (including inflated child support based on yearly income rather than actual child rearing costs, see: Matt Leinart).


All parents, male, female both, should provide equally for their children. Alimony.. well that's just lame.

Though if he makes her change her name against her better wishes, *then* she should bring out the prenup!
 
2007-08-01 03:03:05 PM
Crown_of_Shoes: falkensmaze: Not only is hyphenating your last name pretentious, but sometimes it's down right silly. Last week at work I talked to a woman who had the last name of Jones-Jones. WTF? Why would you even bother hyphenating your last name if it's the same as your married name?

Shenanigans. This never happened.


I do customer satisfaction calls for Allstate & talked to Mrs Jones-Jones last week. At the end of each call we are required to verify the person's name. Not to mention that all satisfaction calls are recorded & listened to by Allstate.
 
2007-08-01 03:03:45 PM
I'm a Peters going to marry a Sink.
/Its kinda opposite of the Peters-Rising, but almost just as bad.
 
2007-08-01 03:04:54 PM
just dropped into say that hyphenated last names are for pretentious coonts.

/gald to see i'm not alone in my ways of logic.
 
2007-08-01 03:05:32 PM
I had a friend who didn't go with Fuchs-Goodenough. Too bad.
 
2007-08-01 03:06:04 PM
whenever i meet a woman with a hyphenated last name, i expect the worst, i.e. biatchiness.

i'm usually correct.
 
2007-08-01 03:08:26 PM
That sight keeps crashing my internets.
 
2007-08-01 03:08:58 PM
sarcastic664: farkII: Dr.Knockboots: Any female with a hyphenated last name is a pretentious coont.

Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?

Because if you're getting married you should be willing to make small sacrifices for the other person, like giving up your last name. Keeping your independence like that is just saying "fark you" to the person you supposedly love.


Nice troll. You almost had me.
 
2007-08-01 03:09:51 PM
akula: Note: Those are just wedding announcements, not necessarily hyphenated names. Wedding announcements are always listed with the last names of the bride and groom.

The article itself is a bit misleading; nothing states that those are names which have actually been created. Hell, the first photo shows "Mr. and Mrs. Traylor."

Funny name unions, but those women aren't actually putting that on their drivers licenses.


Nothing in the slideshow says they are--it just suggests they shouldn't. Sorry your anal retentiveness keeps you from enjoying the fun.

/Gettat-Stickouttayerass
 
2007-08-01 03:11:14 PM
Should have went with Wetter-Beaver. Much less embarrassing.
 
2007-08-01 03:13:51 PM
Trepanated: I'd just like to ask those of you who think hyphenated names are a good idea: have you really thought this through? Have spent significant time thinking about the future of our society if this trend continues?

I always worried about this as a kid. I think my mother assured me that the married couple would work out a way to combine their names without it getting stupidly long. It would be easier if they were on poor terms with one parent, so they'd be willing to drop that person's name, but I think they'd just decide which combination of two names sounded best.

Butts-Busch? Butts-Rash? Busch-McCracken? McCracken-Rash? Rash-McCracken?
 
2007-08-01 03:14:02 PM
Two Dogs Farking: Sorry, nothing beats "Beaver-Wetter".

I'm sorry, "Butts-McCraken" is just awesome.
 
2007-08-01 03:14:04 PM
Trepanated: People *are* giving kids hyphenated names. I do not see how this can end well.

This is a bad idea. My point is that Suzie Smith marries Bob Jones. Suzie is a dildo salesman, well-respected in her region, and everyone knows her as Suzie Smith. She wants to continue to be Suzie Smith, so that professional contacts will know who she is when she calls.

Now, Suzie and Bob have a kid, Tom Jones. Suzie wants everyone to know that she is Tom's mother.

Hence, Suzie Smith-Jones.
 
2007-08-01 03:14:15 PM
So what the fark do the daugthers of these woman hyphenated names do?


Mary Ashton-Wilson has a daughter Denise.

Denise wants to keep her last name jsut like biatchy mommy, and hypenate it when she gets married to Mr Jones. So we'll have Denise Ashton-Willson Jones


Where does it end? It used to be a hallmark of old money, but now it makes you sound like a frigid coont.
 
2007-08-01 03:15:28 PM
sarcastic664: farkII: Dr.Knockboots: Any female with a hyphenated last name is a pretentious coont.

Why? While I'd prefer women keep their own names, what's wrong with some of them deciding to share their husbands'? Or for that matter, what about kids who get the hyphen from parents who have different last names? Are you really just that into traditional, browbeaten women who have no sense of self?

Because if you're getting married you should be willing to make small sacrifices for the other person, like giving up your last name. Keeping your independence like that is just saying "fark you" to the person you supposedly love.


Is this John Ono Lennon?
 
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