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(The Sun)   Survival expert Bear Grylls faked a bear attack by getting a colleague to dress up as one   (thesun.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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21588 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2007 at 12:32 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



179 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-07-30 04:14:17 PM  
This just keeps getting better and better.
 
2007-07-30 04:15:42 PM  
Discovery, TLC. History channels have turned to crap.

Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Choppers
Ice Road Truckers
Sharks
Sharks
Shark Attacks
Crab Catching (Deadliest Catch)

Devolved into crass "popular culture" shiat. How could anyone make a series about crab catching and truckers driving on ice? These are "one show" minimum.
 
2007-07-30 04:16:06 PM  
Thanks Cahira!
 
2007-07-30 04:21:33 PM  
socoloco

Don't be dissin' Deadliest Catch.
 
2007-07-30 04:31:17 PM  
Was never much interested in Man vs. Wild. Immediately knew I didn't like Bear Grylls' attitude or lack of genuineness after watching just a couple of episodes (recognized this many moons ago long before any of the current publicity over his fakery).

Love Les Stroud and Survivorman, though, and greatly look forward to the new season.

Survivorman is the real deal. While I could obviously watch both if I wanted (and don't feel the need to trod on one just to prop up the other), Grylls honestly doesn't entertain me...


/just sayin...
 
2007-07-30 04:34:08 PM  
Is this some kind of furry thing?
 
2007-07-30 04:37:03 PM  
I believe that Les would be fun to have a beer with. Grylls seems like he would be an annoying drunk. This statement, however, has nothing really to do with anything.
 
2007-07-30 04:39:24 PM  
TrevorValentine: Grylls seems like he would be an annoying drunk.

I hate when he pisses into his canteen right up at the bar.

Jeez.. take it into the bathroom, guy!
 
2007-07-30 04:44:15 PM  
socoloco

I'm sure all this negative exposure is going to kill any chances of Bear's energy drink "Urine The Wild" the only energy drink made from Bear's urine.


That may have been the funniest thing I've read on Fark in a long time. Thanks for the LOL!
 
2007-07-30 04:51:10 PM  
socoloco: Discovery, TLC. History channels have turned to crap.

...

Devolved into crass "popular culture" shiat. How could anyone make a series about crab catching and truckers driving on ice? These are "one show" minimum.


Yeah, you'd think these networks rely on advertising and people actually watching their shows - why can't it be 100% "stuff socoloco cares about" network? Someone will pay for it!
 
2007-07-30 04:54:50 PM  
Anyone that thinks any of these shows are "real" must not be in touch with reality. They are all made to entertain the viewer. These shows are edited to provide the viewer with a dramatic reason to keep watching. If the whole show just showed a guy walking through the woods or floating on a raft at sea no one would watch. If these guys were really doing any of this stuff and we were actually getting to see the entire journey we'd see about 8 hours of wandering through the trees everyday and about 2 hours of building a shelter and fire.

Besides most people would die if they ventured more than 50 feet into the wilderness and away from their TV and Mini-Fridge.
 
2007-07-30 04:57:33 PM  
jack_o_the_hills: Survivorman at least shows common sense technique and doesn't make any stupid risky moves. ..

You mean like eating snow (drops core temperature) or cutting towards himself with a knife and slicing his finger open?
 
2007-07-30 04:59:39 PM  
SweetSilverBlues: Survivorman is more like me, somewhat overweight, not necessarily in the greatest physical shape, and does actual scenarios, like finding yourself stranded on a mountain with a broken limb.

Except that he TOOK OFF THE SLING AND STOPPED PRETENDING because he couldn't do it.
 
2007-07-30 05:26:53 PM  
E.S.Q. You mean like eating snow (drops core temperature) or cutting towards himself with a knife and slicing his finger open?

He didn't eat the snow. In fact, he made it a point to emphasize the fact that you should not. He put it in a canteen, warmed it with his body, and drank it later. Jackass.
 
2007-07-30 05:54:33 PM  
So if you pee on the snow first, to warm it up, that's ok, right?
 
2007-07-30 05:58:22 PM  
loudnoises: This thread lacks Bear Grylls pictures with "FAIL" captionned on them

Fixed!
 
2007-07-30 06:33:24 PM  
I like Les Stroud, but let's be honest. He basically lies around the forest and STARVES for seven days, at the utter mercy of the wild, more or less.

At least Bear goes in there and starts kicking some ass.
 
2007-07-30 06:36:29 PM  
inconnu: At least Bear goes in there and starts kicking some ass.

Room service will do that to a guy ;)
 
2007-07-30 06:52:52 PM  
I wonder who would win in a battle to the death between Stroud, Grylls and. . .MYKE HAWKE.
/just wonderin
 
2007-07-30 07:17:50 PM  
Frank Anthrax: I'm not going to watch Man v. Wild again until they're completely honest with their viewers. I hate Discovery Channel now. It used to be so good. Now it's sharks, crabs, and fake survival situations.

It's not entirely the channel's fault ya know...

Watch the competitor, the one that "started" it all...

SURVIVORMAN

He farking pwnz. I swear to God...I don't know how one person can do all the shiat he does...ALL BY HIMSELF.

/google it
 
2007-07-30 07:53:14 PM  
Yanno - Les is taking a lot of crap for just...yanno...surviving the wilderness. You'd think that just surviving is in the show's name fer cryin' out loud.

inconnu: I like Les Stroud, but let's be honest. He basically lies around the forest and STARVES for seven days, at the utter mercy of the wild, more or less.

At least Bear goes in there and starts kicking some ass.


If you're truly lost in the wild and try to "kick some ass" let me assure you nature will kick you in the ass so hard you'll ...well you'll die. If you're lost in the wilderness you want your margin of safety to be as HUGE AS IT **CKING CAN BE.

Seriously. I know we like to think of ourselves as 1337 rugged competent individuals who can take it on our own but in all truth people are pretty good at taming the wild as a group - individually we're kind of puff-balls. Get a cut? I don't care how tough you are an infection will drop your arse hard. Break a bone? You're pretty much done*.

/Broke a toe in the "wild".
//Taped it and walked out.
///4 excruciating-arsed hour walk.
////I'll be dvmned if I was going to have someone evac me for a broken **cking toe. I've got some pride.
//I still have the stick I hobbled out with.
 
2007-07-30 08:20:49 PM  
ps69: Where is Timmy Treadwell when we need him?

Bear Scat?

/Les is the man
 
2007-07-30 08:21:46 PM  
Come on now people do you really think any farkers are ever going to be caught in these survival situations? No, they most certainly will not. Bear is entertaining, all of you fanboys for Les Stroud need to realize that it is definitly hardcore to squeeze elephant crap and drink the shiatjuice, eat a live snake, bite through a live fishes back and eat it raw, jump in freezing water and climb out onto ice, hit a rabbit on the head with a stick and skin it and eat it, and peel a tarmigans skin off like a coat.

The rabbit thing might have been staged since it didn't look like he hit it but he may have. I don't really care about the OOHH I HAZ DISCOVERED TEH SECRET IT IZ TEH FAKE thing it is entertaining to watch him eat live animals and drink poo water.
 
2007-07-30 11:54:13 PM  
i've only been hiking as far as "roughing it in the wild" is qualified (hiked part of the grand canyon, and about 400 miles of the AT)... and even then i know most of the stuff Bear does would get the average person killed, your body uses up a lot of energy moving around, it isn't really worth it unless you're getting something out of it, Bear goes from place to place just to explore and find maybe 1 sliver of food after he spent 3 times that just getting there, walking in the hot sun i mean just wtf? yeah anybody could do that if they had a hotel and water supply, a hotel will do wonders to somebody beaten down by a lot of physical activity, all the morons who sit in A/C houses & cars all day don't know shiat about shiat
 
2007-07-31 02:38:37 AM  
I don't care where he sleeps as long as he keeps finding reasons to take his clothes off.
 
2007-07-31 09:12:52 AM  
I think Bear claims to be SAS and to be honest I have yet to see any of the shiat he uses in the SAS guide. Maybe mine is missing the chapter on how to break every bone in your body running down a gravel hill or something.

As for the fake bear attack, if he was true SOCOM he'd have had a few weapons on him. My uncle's family is real big on the SEALS, the dad was a SEAL, both boys are SEALS and they're all incapable of being more then 10 feet from their gun locked and not having a firearm and a few spare clips tucked away. This makes it interesting when we're out drinking and a motorcycle backfires, which sounds a lot like a mortar round I'm told, on the other hand the liberals in Ann Arbor scatter fast when four big guys whip out an array of pistols start covering the crowd.
 
2007-07-31 09:47:31 AM  
RicosRoughnecks: Come on now people do you really think any farkers are ever going to be caught in these survival situations? No, they most certainly will not. Bear is entertaining, all of you fanboys for Les Stroud need to realize that it is definitly hardcore to squeeze elephant crap and drink the shiatjuice, eat a live snake, bite through a live fishes back and eat it raw, jump in freezing water and climb out onto ice, hit a rabbit on the head with a stick and skin it and eat it, and peel a tarmigans skin off like a coat.

The rabbit thing might have been staged since it didn't look like he hit it but he may have. I don't really care about the OOHH I HAZ DISCOVERED TEH SECRET IT IZ TEH FAKE thing it is entertaining to watch him eat live animals and drink poo water.



Yep, and the next time I want tips on how to eat poop I'll call up Bear Grylls.
The next time I want to survive, I will remember what Les Shroud taught me + my Boy Scout basic training.
 
2007-07-31 09:59:06 AM  
I came for the Super Trooper references and I have recieved.
 
2007-07-31 11:50:09 PM  
I think this might have been their first clue.

img215.imageshack.us
 
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